All Boards >> The Living Room

Posts     Flat       Threaded

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | (show all)
Serious support and advice needed!!
      #259012 - 04/19/06 03:00 PM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

Im having the night from hell at the moment...I just don't know what to do....Im so sorry if I ramble on but I really need to speak about this I just don;t know what to do.....it feels unreal...I feel like my head is going to cave in...my head is banging...I hardly got any sleep last night because of uni stress....I have a report due in in just over a week and my major project underway and I just have so much to do I feel so stressed...and after my colonoscopy last week tummy has been playing up and Ive used it as an excuse to why Ive not got enough work done....

But thats not all....I was getting on with it all before and felt more positive....and then my flatmate came in crying her eyes out....and tells me shes pregnant....she doesnt know how far yet...we're weeks away from graduation.....and to make it worse her boyfriend has done a runner. Hes gone to his mums house and Im absolutely fuming....Ive left messages on his phone and Ive text him and theres no reply. His mum is not even being helpful she knows she pregnant but no one has bothered to come and see my friend and to see if shes alright....like you should do...shes just been pouring her heart out to me...shes so scared....she knows she can't keep it....she can't even look after herself let alone a baby and then the father wants nothing to do with her...shes been being sick everyday for 3 weeks and he left her and went out with his friends 3 days ago and hasnt been back since. He's trying to pretend its not happening.

To make matters worse he doesnt even believe that shes pregnant and phoned her to say he wants proof and that he wants her to send him a pregnancy test in the post!!! Can u believe it??? He wont even come to see her, see how shes feeling, sit down and talk about it like adults. Hes pretending its not happening and his mum, even though shes sed she'll be there for my friend isnt even doing anything to make him see sense. Im so mad with him I could hit him if he was here. I just don't understand how someone can run away from something like this. Its not childs play this is serious stuff.

Whats the worst thing is that my friend doesnt have any parents....thats why Ive always been mothery towards her and her sister has brought her up. Her sister lives 5 hours away and is pregnant herself at the moment. Shes much older and has 3 kids already and is having the worst pregnancy ever with morning sickness and was shouting at my friend down the phone before....shes in no fit state to be dealing with this right now. Me and my other flatmate are the only 2 people here for out friend now and I just don;t know what to do or say. Im so stressed right now its the worst possible time that something like this could happen. Shes christian and shes always been against abortion and yet she knows she just cant have it and shes terrified and in shock and is having to deal with a boyfriend thats doing this to her. Hes breaking her heart when shes in the most fragile state. Her friend from back home is coming down tomorrow and Im sure her sister will come up too....I just feel like I need to be doing something to hep and I cant. How am I meant to work? sleep?

On top of that theres my other flatmate whos having family troubles and wnt be back till the weekend and is gona ring me in a bit to let me know about another stressful situation to do with us moving into a house next year and Im stressed about that too....I just feel like its one thing after the other. Why am I being tested on how to cope at a time when Im already going through enough stress. Please stop me going insane....I need advice badly....what should I do????

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Oh Nat-hugs, hugs and more hugs new
      #259022 - 04/19/06 03:51 PM
cailin

Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

You poor honey, everything really is on top of you isn't it.
This will sound harsh, but your number one priority at the moment simply has to be you. I know that your friend needs you and that she has nobody but you need to take some "selfish" time too. You have to get your coursework etc in and need to get sleep and be healthy for your finals.

Most unis have counsellors- try to get your friend to talk to some of them. Also try phoning (or getting her to phone) some of the Crisis Pregnancy Agencies. (Not sure what the UK ones are called, ours are Cura and Positive Options) GO with your friend when she has her appointment to meet with some of the and then take some you time while she is there. You are a very good friend but your friend also needs someone who has experience and can actually help.

As for your friend's BF, I really don't know what to say. He is being a sh't obviously and will not face up to what is going on, but I think that they need to sort that end of things out without you. Your intervention will only end up causing trouble.

Try to help your friend to help herself. Google pregnancy advice in your area and help her through it, but don't sacrifice your degree for her problem, you will live to regret it. One of my friends had a breakdown during our finals. She had mini ones during end of year exams and I babysat her and my grades bombed. She sat repeats and got better results than me. I still regret not helping myself more.

I know this sounds cruel and harsh but you have to do it.
You are a very very good friend, and she is really lucky to have you.

Huge hugs,



--------------------
S.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Poor Natalie new
      #259058 - 04/19/06 07:26 PM

Unregistered




I can't imagine how stressful dealing with all that is. I think you are like me (since we are twins after all) and like to feel like you need to help everyone and put them ahead of your own problems. In this case though, I definitely agree with what Sinead was saying - you need to take care of yourself first. Being so close to the end you don't want to do anything to screw that up after all this time. I know how it was at finals time when people are freaking out and want your help, but you just have to get to the point where you say no. So even though this situation is a bit different and more complex, I say you deal with it the same way. Just take some time and leave you apartment to get your work done in peace and then you'll be able to get a much better outlook on things.

And definitely try to encourage your friend to get some professional advice. She is very lucky to have you around though.

Good luck and let us know how things are going.




Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Serious support and advice needed!! new
      #259081 - 04/20/06 03:09 AM
Blondie13

Reged: 02/28/06
Posts: 641
Loc: Sheffield, England

Hi Nat

You poor thing! You're obviously a lovely person, and want so bad to help everyone around you. I know how that feels, and you can end up messing up your own stuff by spending some much time and energy solving everyone else's problem's and always being a shoulder to cry on. You are at a crucial point in your course, and you already have so much to deal with with your IBS & all, I know it's SO hard but you will have to take some time just for you. Could you go and study in the uni library a bit? I know it sounds crazy though, and you'll find not being there 24/7 for your friend impossible.

On your friend's situation, she definitely needs professional advice and support. If it's any help I have been pretty much in her exact situation, and I got through it in one piece. If you want to know how I went about it, the kind of support I needed, or she wants to know exactly what the termination process will involve at every stage just drop me an email, I'm happy to help in any way I can.

She needs to see the uni doctor asap too, to find out how far she is gone and how she can go about arranging the neccessaries - even if she's not made her mind up sometimes it can take a while so you're best to get the process going, even if she did decide not to go through with it.

Hugs and kisses to both of you!! Feel so bad for you. Do remember though, as much as you love her, it is 'her' problem and not yours - you're just there to listen, and hold her hand if and when she needs it.

Good luck! xx

--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Thanks Sinead.... new
      #259082 - 04/20/06 03:19 AM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

I had a terrible nights sleep again last night, probably got about4/5 hrs which atleast is something bt I dont cope well with less than 8 especially when its been nearly 2 weeks since I last had a full nights rest....I feel exhausted and Ive got so much to do.

I understand what you mean about putting myself first....its just a hadr thing tto do when all you want to do is help someone. She knows Im here and Ive told her to come get me if she needs anything. Shes about to speak to her sister who hopefully will have calmed down a bit today. She seems alright although Ive heard her throwing up again all morning.

Will keep you all updated.

Thanks for all the hugs and support....I need it.

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Thanks Brittany.... new
      #259083 - 04/20/06 03:20 AM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

I know I have to put myself first and Im not about to sacrifice my degree or anything but it just feels like its goin to be so much harder to cope with now. I was already feeling like Im behind and have so much to do and this just dds to the pressure.

Thanks for all the hugs and support I'll keep you updated.


--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Thanks Blondie.... new
      #259084 - 04/20/06 03:22 AM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

and if theres anything you can tell me then yes if you email me it would be really appreciated. I know thats how shes feeling at the moment that she doesnt know what to do. Its not like anyone prepares you for these sorts of situations is it. Its just come as a shock and I dont think its fully sunk in yet. I'll send you an email in a minute and if you can advice us on anything please do.

Thanks so much.xx

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Serious support and advice needed!! new
      #259091 - 04/20/06 05:13 AM
TommyNY

Reged: 04/29/04
Posts: 1530


Nat, this is a lot for you to handle. Please don't think that you have to handle everything on your own. I know your friend's circumstances and the fact that she doesn't have much family but there is only so much you can do. Try to be there for her as much as you can but don't forsake your own health and schoolwork over this. Maybe I am being a bit cold but your have to rmember the big picture here and your own future. Trust me, friends come and go. That is a fact. I am not saying this person won't be your friend for the rest of your life. But you never know, and you have to stay focused on school as difficult as that may be. I have not read anyone else's response and I am sorry if I came across as cold regarding your firend. I do feel for her and I have no respect for so-called "men" who don't take care of their responsibilities.

--------------------


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re I agree with Tommy. new
      #259099 - 04/20/06 05:39 AM
Yoda (formerly Hans)

Reged: 01/22/03
Posts: 3682
Loc: Canada

School comes first. You don't want her mistakes to cost you your degree. It's OK to empathize and support her, but don't get caught up in it. It's NOT your problem. You are not responsible for any of them. Be a friend. Not a problem solver.
Hugs, A.
PS - I hope the stuff I sent you was helpful! I'll try to send more today.

--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Serious support and advice needed!! new
      #259109 - 04/20/06 06:31 AM
Kiwii

Reged: 09/27/05
Posts: 546


Wow, that's alot.

First, let me say, you are there for a reason.
Let's take one thing at a time.

Try to get some sleep for starters. You won't be able to do much without it. Don't think of everything at once. Do one project at a time. Get some ginger tea to settle your tummy.
Then, look at your priorities, school-wise. Just take a few deep breaths. Things will get done.

As for you friend. Yeah this is a serious matter. She's Christian, right. She needs to pray first, which I'm sure she's doing now. God knows everything that is going on in these situations. He knows the end from the beginning. She could always give the baby up for adoption. They're are plenty of couples who can't have a baby on there own.
Do your best to be the friend she needs. Before you go saying, "Well, I come first." Just think if you were in her shoes. Like I said, you're there for a reason.
Yes, you shouldn't put your education at risk, but when it comes down to it, another human life will outlast an education.
Do the best you can for you schooling. Do what you know you can. God knows your situation too. He's willing to help. Sometimes we just need to ask.

Chamomile tea is great for relaxing to, just before bed.
I wish I could do something to help you guys out.
I'll be praying for you both.

--------------------
Kiwi
IBS-C



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Serious support and advice needed!! new
      #259158 - 04/20/06 08:01 AM
michele

Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan

Oh sweetie, what a mess. I'm so sorry. I agree with the others that you need to be her friend but you also need to finish school and take care of yourself. Maybe help her find a counselor to help her with her options. Even after everything I have been through and as badly as I want a child, I am still pro-choice. With that being said, this may be a totally selfish thing to say at the moment but let her know if she doesn't want to terminate the pregnancy for whatever reason, I would seriously consider adopting the baby. Sorry, just had to put that out there. As for the boyfriend, obviously he isn't going to be any help and there's probably nothing you can do about that, don't waste your energies there. He obviously doesn't care what she does and sounds like a complete [censored]! Please know I will keep you guys in my thoughts!

--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Nat new
      #259192 - 04/20/06 08:42 AM
nomorepooch

Reged: 04/18/06
Posts: 285


I haven't read the other posts for I do have some thoughts to share:

1. You can't take this on. It is too much stress for you. You can help your friend find counseling thru the school or a local church.

2.Abortion would not be my choice either and being an adoptive parent, I know that there is a couple "out there" that would love to parent her baby and in the US (not sure about your country), you can choose the level of openess that a birthmom would have with the childs adoptive parents. Surely there is an aoption agency that could talk with her and should she need an objective ear I am happy to help. I also have a ton of resources all in the US but the internet is a lovely thing.

3.As to the guy....not much of a man is he? Again, she needs a counselor to help her deal with this. Not her friends...but someone who is trained and has experience in this area. Please have your friend get some help.

I hope this helps and that I have not overstepped anywhere.



--------------------
Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Poor her. new
      #259223 - 04/20/06 10:11 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Poor her and what an awful jerk of a man he is.

I am pro-choice but I personaly would have too much guilt to go through an abortion. Does she want the baby? How old is she? Sometimes abortions are the right decision. Sometimes not. It's a super tough decision for a woman to make.

As for her asking your advice and taking away from your school concentration, that's not good. You need to finish school with good marks. Try your best to not be there all the time and maybe get away to study or do school work.

I posted about a friend of mine who just had a child with her BF but she wanted to leave him. Well she did leave him but now it's a HUGE mess. For a while I was getting super long emails and phone calls from her everyday. I wanted to be a supportive friend but after a while it stressed me out WAY too much so I had to take a break from her. There's only so much stress you can see before you feel as stressed as she does!!!! Despite her BF being a huge jerk, it looks like she's going to go back to him. I cannot talk sense into this chick if my life depended on it!!!!

Good luck Nat!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Thanks so much everyone....update..... new
      #259269 - 04/20/06 01:27 PM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

well things kinda got more stressful today....my chest is really hurting too its affecting my asthma all this stress I feel like I cant breathe half the time, Ive had to dose up on the inhaylers today I hope it calms down, its not helping.

Well this morning, after another restless night, my friend had been trying to contact her boyfriend again and finally he rang. He was still not believeing that she was pregnant and demanding proof, I ended up emailing him then speaking to him on the phone and I told him he needed to come to the flat and speak to her and to stop running away from everything, but I think he felt like we'd all gang up on him and didnt want to come. So I told him there would be no ganging up its not about taking sides, its not about us, its not even about them its about them dealing with whats happening, talking about and deciding what to do. He seemed reasonable enough and then my friends schoolfriend came down for the day. We sat in the kitchen for a while discussing everything and then he rang again and said he was coming to pick her up to get another pregnancy test...cos she'd sent the other one in the post to him and so he did. Then he sed he didnt want to come in the flat, he wanted to drop her home and get her to go in the flat and do the test, then come out to the car to show him. How bludy ridiculous is that!! I was fuming by this point...so she goes off anyways and he ended up getting her to do the test in the toilets in the supermarket!! I was so upset....how the hell can anyone treat anyone like that??? So when she passed it to him when they were back in the car he burst into tears. He said he couldnt believe it, and that he really thought it wasnt true...which I found out later is cos aparently she lied about being pregnant a few months back....I was mad at her for that....but thats why he thought she wasnt telling the truth again. When he realised it is true he still wouldnt come into our flat so he drove off to his friends house and we havent seen him since.

I had a big talk with my friend and tried to suggest she go back home with her schoolfriend so she can deal with it with her family and get away from it all....would ease the pressure off me and my friends aswell, but shes decided to go next fri cos she feels her sister is going to pressurise her into getting rid of the baby as soon as possible and she's not 100% sure yet....she needs to consider all her options. I spoke to her about adoption but she says she would rather have an abortion than have it and give it away. She said shes feeling really weird at the moment and shes getting feelings that tell her she should keep it even though she knows its the worst possible time in her life for it to happen. Im staying impartial on everything and letting her see all the options and discussing all the possibilities....shes going to talk to the doctor tomorrow and then a counsellor hopefully...I can only be an ear listen to and give her as much support as I can ....ultimately she has to make that decision...and it looks like it will be without him....as he is taking no responsibility so far for his actions. I'll let you know what happens....I just hope whatever she decides, that its for the best.

Thanks so much for all your support...I am trying to think about myself too and not get too bogged down by someone elses problems...but thats just the type of person I am, I cant disconnect myself completely tho I am trying my hardest to keep working too....and will try to get to bed earlier tonight to get some rest. Will post any updates.

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

HANSOLO........ new
      #259371 - 04/21/06 03:41 AM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

Just wanted to say a HUGE HUGE thanks for doing my questionnaire....that was soooooooo helpful....thanks so much.....if you get a chance to answer the last questions please do.....great imput

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Thanks so much everyone....update..... new
      #259386 - 04/21/06 05:37 AM
Blondie13

Reged: 02/28/06
Posts: 641
Loc: Sheffield, England

You poor thing, and poor her. I've replied to your email, and done the best job I can to explain at least one of her options to her.

It sounds like you're getting everything spot on - not taking sides and not influencing her decision. It really is a decision she has to make on her own, from deep inside herself. Going with either option if she's not sure could have horrible repercussions.

I'm really feeling for you both, and again, if there's anything I can do let me know.

Big hugs, C xx

--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Anytime, sweetie! new
      #259417 - 04/21/06 07:25 AM
Yoda (formerly Hans)

Reged: 01/22/03
Posts: 3682
Loc: Canada

It's nice to think my degree is still useful sometimes (gave up carreer to raise babies! I miss it!)

--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Good news is I got a good nights rest........ new
      #259421 - 04/21/06 07:49 AM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

Slept for 10 hours last night my body must have needed it after all the recent sleep deprivation! I feel much more refreshed today and got up and went into to town to get some things sorted that needed doing. I havent seen my friend today, shes meant to be getting the results off the doctor today so I will ring her later. Shes staying at another friends today because our flat is just too claustophobic and I think she needed some time away from it. Will keep you all posted....thanks again everyone for your input and support...Blondie Im about to read your email so will reply soon....thanks a million!!

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Good news is I got a good nights rest........ new
      #259566 - 04/22/06 04:12 AM
cailin

Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

Hi Nat,

Glad you got some sleep, and it's good that your friend has made the appointment to see the doctor too.

Why did she lie about being pregnant to her bf before? Did she actually want to get pg? I'm a bit confused.

Anyway, sounds like you took everyone's advice on board and are looking after yourself, at least I hope you are.

Take care,



--------------------
S.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: new
      #259570 - 04/22/06 04:23 AM
pinkprincess

Reged: 08/17/05
Posts: 415
Loc: Manchester, u.k

keep smiling nat! sorry I`ve not been online 4 ages. I`ll be on msn all day if you need a chat.
Hope things are ok
BIG HUGS
Jo x

--------------------
http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Well I dont really know why she lied.... new
      #259607 - 04/22/06 10:08 AM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

its all a bit a confusing really...NO she definately DID NOT want to get pregnant...she was just stupid and lied about it before to scare her boyfriend, who was acting like an a*** at the time....I think it was a very stupid and aweful thing to do and something Id never think of doing no matter how much of an a*** my boyfriend was....but her mind works in mysterious ways sometimes and she has often lied over things in the past for very pointless reasons...I think thats issues within herself that she needs to deal with. Shes had a hard upbringing...I shouldnt really be talking about it but her dad beat her mother badly when she was a child and then her mum basically drank herself to death and so when she was 9 her sister who was 10 years older adopted her. I think everything thats happened to her has never been openly discussed(shes mentioned it to us as her friends bt not in the greatest detail of how its affected her) and I know deep down shes bottling a lot of stuff up and thats the reason she deals so badly with relationships...she gets very jealous and behaves irratically. She becomes very dependant on people and she is very insecure. The thing is you can only tell people to go and get help....them actually doing it is another thing. I took her to a counsellor a couple of months back but she would have had to wait a few hours for an appointment and she ended up saying we'd go the day after and then she did a runner for 3 weeks. Very confusing the whole saga I know. Thing is...thats another thing Im worried about...if she does decide to keep it...I think she needs to resolve her issues before....otherwise it could impact upon how she deals with the baby. I dont know whats for the best really. She's still 50/50 as to what to do....its just aweful that theres a timer ticking away for 10 days until she has to make a final decision

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

ANOTHER UPDATE...so things just got worse.... new
      #259768 - 04/23/06 02:56 PM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

I am REALLY REALLY worried about my friend right now...she doesnt seem to know what shes doing or thinking for that matter. She is behaving very irrational and dealing with things in a very bizarre way....we all just dont know what to say to her. Shes really only thinking about herself in the matter...I dont even think shes considered the baby...not really....it always comes down to how painful the termination might be or the birth for that matter or money and things like that...and I suppose yea....obviously shes gona think about these things....but when she thinks about the fact of keeping it...she seems to be treating it more like an object we feel....we are worried that shes gona make her decision based upon the wrong reasons.

Today was aweful...cos she aparently woke up and had decided she wanted to keep the baby and try and make things work with her boyfriend....now after the way hes treated her and based upon what we know...he doesnt want her...and theres NO WAY he wants a baby....though she seems to think that some how she can CONVINCE him to sort thing out..FOR THE BABYS SAKE Like thats gona be the most sensible thing to do when its quite obvious that the relationship has been dying a slow death and she is clingin on to hope that they will get back together. I think this time it is final but she wont accept that.

Yesterday she wanted nothing to do with him...now she is begging him back. She borrowed my flatmates phone to ring him and then I heard her crying and screaming and begging for him to come back and saying Im sorry and Ill change and all this. She even lied saying her sister would buy them a house and they could work things out and a load of other crap and pointless arguments. Its like we keep telling her...this is not about him and her anymore....its about the fact that theyve created a baby and they need to decide what to do about it. She even tried to get another friend to ring him and convince him to get back with her. Its just getting ridiculous now....like shes going to keep the baby to try and trap him or something....but she really upset my other flatmate by some of things shes was saying on the phone to him....we could hear everything through the walls...my flatmate just feels so aweful for the baby...cos she feels like theyre not even considering it as a baby...its like it an object thats being played and manipulated with. And if she decides on keeping it then its aweful that theyre treating it like this. What kind of a child would want to be born into so much hate?

Whats made it worse is that there was a programme on tv last night all about pregnancy and abortion and birth and all the related topics...and everything just hit home more. The last thing we heard was her begging and crying and then he put the phone down. Then my other flatmate was just returning back after easter with her dad and so we had to conceal everything from him and while we were in the kitchen she replaced my flatmates phone in her room and left the house. We havent seen her since. We are convinced shes gone to see him but I am scared for her....cos we have bad feelings that he will force her into having an abortion and say if she does they can get back together and then dump her afterwards. It wouldnt surprise me the way he is. Either that or he'll treat her even worse than he already has and she'll slit her wrists or something(cos she has in the past) or worse do something terrible.

She hasnt come back yet....its getting late and her only other girlfriend hasnt heard from her either. If shes not back tomorrow I will be terrified...I am praying so hard that she doesnt do something stupid. Please keep her in your thoughts....this is so hard for me right now having to see her go through it....I just dont know what else we can do....

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: ANOTHER UPDATE...so things just got worse.... new
      #259801 - 04/24/06 04:39 AM
Blondie13

Reged: 02/28/06
Posts: 641
Loc: Sheffield, England

Is she back yet? Hope everything's ok.

From what you've said, both on here and email, it's pretty obvious she has some problems going back a while, and, unfortunately, pregnancy tends to compound all that - even without problems it can do funny things to your mind!

I think she needs to see a counseller, and asap?

C x

--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Thanks Blondie... new
      #259893 - 04/24/06 01:13 PM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

Her boyfriend has told her he doesnt love her and that he hates her now after the way shes dealing with this situation!! I mean can u believe it...the way shes dealing with it?? Just dont get me started on him!! Anyways...we had more talks this morning and it looks like she is going to have to face the harsh reality that their relationship is well and truly over....and about time if you asked any of us...been heading that way since day1!! So as for the pregnancy situation...I think its more likely that she will have an abortion...though shes still not entirely sure...will keep you posted...I just feel aweful the way this is getting discussed...it makes me so sad....Ive spoken to her about the choice of adoption...but she doesnt seem to be giving that a second thought...I think its sad really...cos its like its the option thats least discussed in these situations...and there are so many people out there who would love a baby and cant. I keep thinking of you michele....and how much you desperately want to be a mother...it breaks my heart....I wish things didnt work out the way that they do....lifes just so unfair.

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Thanks Blondie... new
      #259909 - 04/24/06 02:26 PM
michele

Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan

Thanks Natalie. I hope your friend finds peace in whatever decision she makes. It definitely sounds like she has some under laying problems and issues she needs to get sorted out. You can only do so much for her and weather she realizes it or not, your a great friend!

--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

big hugs for nat new
      #259912 - 04/24/06 02:41 PM
pinkprincess

Reged: 08/17/05
Posts: 415
Loc: Manchester, u.k

Aw Nat, I wish there was something i could do huni, hope ur ok. And I know what you mean about life being unfair...Michelle u r so understanding even after everything you`ve been through.What a star. Nat if you want a chat to share the burden just email/txt me. Wish I could do more.

BIG HUGS to both of you


Jo xx

--------------------
http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Shes made her decision.... new
      #260031 - 04/25/06 11:37 AM
Natalie1985

Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 1329
Loc: UK - Leeds for uni, Merseyside for home!

I dont know whats changed inside of her to make up her mind...she went and saw her boyfriend the other day and that is well and truly over now and he wants nothing to do with her....im not even going to get started on him again...but anyways...she told us this morning that she has decided to go though with the termination and she will not be keeping the baby. I have to say...as much as I'll support her Ive said that all the way and I do believe in pro-choice....but still a small part of me feels like Im already grieving for her baby....I know it might sound weird...but we all feel like that in the flat. Its kind of strange cos this last week I think we've maybe got strangely used to her being pregnant...shes been having weird cravings and we've been getting her some different foods to what she usually has and she's lost weight too...cos of all the morning sickness....when she told me this morning she actually looked better than Ive seen her in a long time. So shes booked in for May 16th....what will be the worst day ever for all of us.....I'll keep u all updated...gosh this has been such a drama

--------------------
Natalie



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Shes made her decision.... new
      #260033 - 04/25/06 11:47 AM
Blondie13

Reged: 02/28/06
Posts: 641
Loc: Sheffield, England

Good luck Nat, if you or she has any more questions or just want to stress out you know where I am. It IS a sad time - even when you (and she) think it's the right decision, there will be a period of grieving. It might not hit her til afterwards, or maybe even quite a bit in the future (as it did me), but it will happen.

All you can do is be there for her and hold her hand. Is someone (you / her sister / other friend) going with her? Definitely easier than going alone.

Thinking bout you all, and big hugs x

--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: big hugs for nat new
      #260034 - 04/25/06 12:07 PM
michele

Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan

Well, I'm glad she has made a decision. I can't imagine having to wait almost 4 weeks though after having made a decision like that. I hope things start to calm down and everything goes well! Hugs and Love

--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Shes made her decision.... new
      #260036 - 04/25/06 12:40 PM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Oh no, that's so sad.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Shes made her decision.... new
      #260190 - 04/26/06 11:53 AM
pinkprincess

Reged: 08/17/05
Posts: 415
Loc: Manchester, u.k

Tell her we are thinking of her. And I am thinking of you too huni. Jo xx

--------------------
http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | (show all)

Extra information
0 registered and 2817 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  Heather 

Print Thread

Permissions
      You cannot post until you login
      You cannot reply until you login
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 5104

Jump to

| Privacy statement Help for IBS Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.2


HelpForIBS.com BBB Business Review