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Thanks Cailin.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Thanks michelle, of course you didn't offend me at all. I appriciate the well wishes. I agree, I think its all the pain making all the emotional stress too much right now. I keep teling myself tomorrow will be better.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Michele - big hugs! I've been thinking about what to write you all day. I really hope this is something you tell your doctor and therapist about and something you share with Will. I think the worst thing you could do right now is isolate yourself and keep these feelings to yourself. You're not being dramatic or hormonal - your pain is very real and it's a stress on you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
So, I'm glad you shared what you're going through with us, but I'm sorry I can't think of any way to help you. I don't know much about manic depression, although I have some experience with chronic pain and depression. You said something in another post about not feeling like you've been living your life. I feel the same way! Like the past ten years has been about trying to figure out what was wrong with me and the last three years has been just about trying to get through the day.
Even though I'm not religious - I still have faith. I don't know exactly what I have faith in, but I feel like I've been pain-free in the past, so I know it's not impossible for my body to reach that state again. I feel the same hope for you. Maybe you really do need some time to cry and let someone close to you know how miserable you're feeling. It's hard pretending everything is okay when it really isn't. And you won't be able to get the comfort and compassion you need from those closest to you if you can't share what you're feeling right now.
You've been so great and generous with all your advice regarding my recent lupus diagnosis - I wish there was something more I could do for you in return! *hugs*
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oh michele! i'm so sorry that you are feeling so terrible. I wish I had something to add, but I do not have experience with depression, and my psychology training is all related to children (manic depression is something that is very rare in childhood, so we haven't learned much about it).
I would look online though, and search for the DSM-IV-TR definition of manic depression, and talk to your therapist about it. if you can't find the DSM info online, let me know and i'll provide it (I have the DSM). I don't know a lot about your symptoms but I would also look into bipolar syndrome as well, because manic depression sometimes mirrors bipolar with the depressed moods, and very high highs.
I agree with what everyone has said as well. you are an amazing woman, and you bring light to so many others lives despite your own pain. take care of yourself and take things one day at a time.
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one more thing, it may not be manic depression, but major depressive or dysthymic disorder, which is primarily depressed mood, lethargy, negative feelings, fatigue etc. Manic depression generally involves depressed mood, in addition to periods of mania.
For example, with manic depression you must experience three or more of the following symptoms to a significant degree..
inflated self esteem or grandiosity
decreased need for sleep
more talkative than usual
racing thoughts
distractibility
increase in goal directed activity
and excessive involvement in pleasurable activities (ie unrestrained buying sprees, etc).
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