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Thanks Ginger. You are always so kind!!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Thanks Augie, you're right, I'm just feeling so tired. I'm really wondering if I'm having some sort of delayed post partum depression or something hormonally has changed since losing the babies because I'm just not the same.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: Michele
#258694 - 04/18/06 09:43 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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I wish I could accept things as well as you. I do post a lot of fertility boards and try and help people but its hard when I'm still hurting. The whole fertility thing aside, I just can't imagine spending the rest of my life in so much physical pain. I'm not sure if its just because its been one thing after another for the last couple of years or just what.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Quote:
belief in God is what has gotten me through the hardest times.
Amen.  Couldn't do it without Him.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Hey Michele,
I was so sad when I read your post...I'm so sorry to hear that you're hurting the way you are  I know the feeling...it sounds very similar to what I go through, I often have recurrent suicidal thoughts (and also have a small pharmacy in my home) and they scare me. I don't *think* I would ever act on them but they are often there.
I would definately see a doctor ASAP. What you're experiencing isn't normal....it could be manic depression or it could be some other things. I'm personally not manic depressive but have another similar diagnosis and it's important that you get diagnosed and get treatment (this coming from a girl who can't seem to get treatment).
Also, I think the post-partum depression thing is definately something to look at as well, that can make you feel terrible and certainly cause problems. Maybe even have a whole hormone profile done to make sure nothing is seriously out of whack because even that can make you feel not like yourself (as I'm gradually learning).
Anyways, hang in there...and like Amanda said you have tons of people who love and support you on here...and I guarantee you that Will would not be better without you (no one would be). That's the trap I fall into all the time as well...and Scott always tells me that's the most painful thing for him to hear because he couldn't stand it if something happened to me. I think sometimes we just are feeling so down and so lousy that we end up with tunnel vision and don't think about all the people who love and care about us and would miss us if we were gone.
Hang in there and email me anytime if you need to chat 
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I am further down the road to healing than you are which is why I suppose it is easier for me right now. The hope...the knowledge...the understanding...that you can share with others helps them immeasurably and in turn you are blessed with a little touch of healing. Sometimes you have to "fake it 'til you make it" and then suddenly you are "there"...keep on keeping on Michele.
I do understand your pain as I was there for many years...my prayer is that somehow I am offering you hope that there are better days ahead.
Hugs...I wish I could take you to lunch.
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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Thanks Kelly. I know you are suffering also so it means a lot that you took time to respond. Tunnel vision is a good way to describe it. I try very hard to be positive but sometimes all I see is pain and suffering. You know what, I actually looked at my calendar and my period isn't due until NEXT week so I can't even blame it on hormones!! Not to say that there isn't something hormonal to it but I was really trying to dismiss it as a pms thing. Hugs to you to!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: Michele
#258725 - 04/18/06 12:20 PM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Thanks Rachel. You know though, I'm not sure this is about my miscarriages. I mean, I KNOW that its a contributing factor for sure, however, I think a part of it at least is the RA and Fibro. I've been feeling sick since the rheumy started me on the alzulfidine and think I'm going to stop taking it because I feel like barfing all the time and I'm head achy (I don't usually get headaches) and my tummy has been in an awful tizzy for weeks. I stopped the anti-inflammatory because I thought that was doing it but I'm not feeling any better and all the swelling has returned. Right now, I can't see past the physical pain my body is in. On the very rare occasion I can see past the pain, I feel empty and I'm sure thats the miscarriages so its probably just everything getting to be too much.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I have suffered severe depression like I never knew possible off and on over the past few years. I really truly empathize with you.
I have tried to write you a reply several times but keep deleting it because I have not much to offer except hugs and genuine care/concern, but beyond that what has changed my outlook and I continue to rely on is the grace of God, and I know you don't really want to hear about that and I truly dont' mean to offend you... so anyway I'll just pray you find the hope/peace that you need! I don't pretend AT ALL to know "how you feel" but I do know that hurting/pain makes it so much harder to deal with all the other stresses/pains this life often brings.
(coming back to edit that I do NOT at ALL mean to imply that you should not seek medical help/intervention for severe depression! I believe medicine has its place and would advise ANYONE with thoughts of hurting themselves to get immediate help... just HAD to include that)
((((((((hugs)))))))))))
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
Edited by ecmmbm (04/18/06 01:50 PM)
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I'm coming in late on this but wanted to send you hugs and reiterate what everyone else said.
Hang in there,
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S.
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