Natural Laws of the Universe
#253461 - 03/21/06 11:14 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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Funny and oh so true!
NATURAL LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the very next morning
you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
you were in will start to move faster than the one
you are in now (works every time). also applies to
checkout lines in the store...
Theorem of Liquids:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want
to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering...are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go,... there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible... if you don't know what
you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really
like, they will stop making or stocking it.
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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--------------------
Kiwi
IBS-C
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That would be, "When attempting to communicate with a person who is self convinced that he or she is the ultimate expert on every possible topic, and who has predisposed themselves to agree with anything you say or do even if that is contrary to previous points of view shared by such person, and who also must be speaking at all times, the law states that the transfer of logical communication is unattainable. Furthermore, the pursuit of such logical transfer will cause one to reach a level of frustration so severe, that a catatonic state would be preferable".
Can you tell my mother was here this weekend? Yah... my tummy sure knows it. sheeeeeeeeeesh
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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God is Faithful!
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God is Faithful!
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I think we have the same MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll pray for you...pray for me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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I think this is one of those "laws" that is universal when dealing with moms/mom-in-laws....it's a tough one, but one we all face. I'll join with you in prayer that it will improve.
Fortunately, I have a great relationship with my mom, but there have been times (and I've made her cry) when I just told her to back off and butt out. I hate times like that, but they come to all of us.
Actually, I'm going to see my mom this weekend, and I can't wait!!
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God is Faithful!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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that at 42 years of age, I could have a phone conversation with her without her trying to control me. One day....
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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Thanks for the good laugh! 
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In hashing this out with a friend today, she said this. I am trying to chew on it and decide if I agree or not. I am of the mind that a person's feelings for you come OUT in what they say and how they treat you. They can't just say "I love you" and then act that way, expecting the words to speak louder than the actions or personality, as she refers to it. What do you think? Here's what she said:
To me, you are dealing with a very DIFFICULT personality type, being your mother makes it even harder to deal with. And I think maybe you have been internalizing how her personality comes out for so long that you can't separate that from how she really feels. I think she loves you, but doesn't know how to relate in a considerate, helpful, kind manner with people, so when she talks to you at all, it comes out as if she doesn't love you, or you see it that way, instead of just that she is a person who is self consumed and can't see what that does to others. She wants to love and communicate with you, I think, but doesn't know how, other than her usual ways, which you can't take.
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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I have thoughts...I think I will do it in an e-mail as it may get long. I will send it to you tomorrow.
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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The third from the last -- "Brown's Law" -- is hilarious! I also like "Law of the Alibi."
Good stuff here, Casey. Ya done good!
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Hmmmmph .....
Carol OLIVER
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Everything in life happens for a reason, patience will eventually tell us what that is......
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Post deleted by Augie
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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as if it would cause her to perish should she agree with anything anyone says, asks etc. UAGHHHHHHH
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Hard to completely explain but it's somethign I pray about how to respond to properly, that's for sure!
hugs, "sis" 
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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My mother is both negligent and overbearing at the same time. She cannot have a conversation without blatantly trying to argue with me, or "one up" me. It's stupid! It's the "me me me" stuff. I realize now that my mom never wanted a daugthter, she wanted a friend. I never wanted a friend, I wanted a mother. And since she raised us as a single mother, my internalized crap had to be hashed out in therapy. i have finally decided not to give a crap anymore. I will love her but I won't play her games, make her make me feel anything, or make me do or HEAR anything I don't want to. She can come around once every few months if she pleasesw, though she's 1/2 hour away, and if she doesn't, oh well. Why worry anymore!
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Keep on keepin' on...
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