need help and support - something i've never told anyone about ever
#250449 - 03/07/06 09:39 AM
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jaime g
Reged: 07/27/05
Posts: 961
Loc: new york city
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hey guys. i need some support about this. it's something i've never talked to anyone about, ever. (clearly taking advantage of the semi-anonymity here, of how it's easier to type than say things face-to-face.) this is usually something i can handle, but i was struck by an attack of really intense depression last night, and i need to, i think, start getting able to talk about this. (ugh, even typing this is hard.) it's going to sound like so little, typed here, but, well - it's about my breasts. i know that almost no one's are exactly the same size, but mine are really, strikingly uneven. they're both (considering my body) small - i'm practically flat-chested on one side, and the other, though bigger, is shaped oddly, too. this has, in a lot of ways, completely crippled me. forget not being able to go without a (padded) bra and not having worn a swimsuit in probably six years (i think my friends think it's a weight/body image thing), but it has really interfered with any semblance of a love life. i've never had a boyfriend, and i think this is a huge part of why - i'm just terrified of being naked with someone. i hate how my breasts look, so why would anyone else think they're sexy?
it's been like this for years, since i was maybe fourteen or fifteen. (i'm 23 now.) most of the time i forget about it, but then something comes along - bra shopping, the prospect of physical intimacy, or just out of nowhere like last night - and it hits me, hard, and i just feel this huge, crushing sadness and futility. because what can i do? get breast implants (which i hate the idea of, since they're not perfectly safe and worse, not permanent), or just deal. (i could also, i guess, have breast reduction on one side, but then i'd be basically flat-chested. which is fine, and would be better than this, but on my body wouldn't do too super much to help with the body image.) sure, i have issues with the rest of my body, but this is different. when i was 17 or 18 i made an appointment with a female doctor at my pediatrician's office, telling my mom it was about allergies, but i chickened out of telling her. i had a physical last month with a new doctor, and he did a breast exam - i was lying on the table when he did it, kept my eyes closed, and started crying - i cried through the end of the visit, and for most of the way back to work. i have my first appointment with a gynecologist in a couple of weeks, and i'm determined to talk to her. even if i have to write it down because i'm too terrified to even get the words out of my mouth (forget the fact that i know i'll start sobbing). (writing it all out here, telling anyone at all, has to be a step towards that.) the thought of even telling my mother, or my best friend, paralyzes me. every so often, when the despair about this hits, i'll look at plastic surgery before and after pictures, and the results amaze me. the idea of having normal breasts is just unbelievable to me. i don't care if they're *big* or whatever - just to look like i do now with a padded bra but without the padding would be amazing. to be able to wear whatever bra i want. bathing suits. to not freak out about a guy seeing me without a bra. (just wearing a sports bra to the gym was a big step, but it flattens me out so much you really can't tell anything.) i can't imagine what it's like to have breasts that look right - not perfect or anything, just normal. i know, i know, normal is a huge spectrum, no one's body is perfect. but if it's stopping me from living a healthy, normal life in so many ways, it's not right. (i'm praying that that angle could get insurance to cover it. because this has surely damaged me psychologically.)
ugh. anyway. that's it. i'm terrified of the gynecologist appointment (for this and the usual hey-there's-a-stranger-putting-a-cold-metal-thing-in-my-vagina reasons), but even more scared of what could come next. (it seems easier to tell a doctor, a stranger, than my mom or a friend.) so i could just use some support, and if anyone has similar stories. like i said, i've never talked to anyone about this ever. i'm somehow managing not to cry as i type this - last night it hit me during a reading at work. i cried a little the busride home, and when i got to my apartment i went right to bed, and cried myself to sleep. it's horrible and i'm terrified and really don't know if i can do what i think i need to.
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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Ok, I can't really come up with any practical advice. I know that lots of women have mismatched breasts, although in your case it sounds a little more pronounced, and maybe harder because you are small to begin with. Mine are different sizes too, but not TOO noticeable, and I'm usually a B, so it's ok. I can understand how it's hard to find bras and swimsuits though, because I have a good friend who is completely flat, and she hates it.
As for what options there are besides implants...I don't know. But speaking to a professional is a good step. I can understand not feeling comfortable talking to your mom. If I were to talk to my mom about a problem like that---although she loves me dearly---she'd try to convince me it's not important, and I should be happy with who I am. But sometimes that's REALLY hard to do.
But you SHOULD talk about it, and if you start with a doctor, so be it. Maybe she will have some options you aren't aware of.
As for intimate situations, well, like most happily married or attached women, my instinct is to say that a good guy won't care. But I'm a realist: just cause he might not care, doesn't mean you don't, and sometimes insecurity can be a huge roadblock to physical intimacy. So I don't have a solution for you, but I wanted to say you're not crazy for feeling the way you do, and I hope talking to the doctor will help you in some way. Just go in there telling yourself you're going to completely open up---and it's ok if you cry, you wouldn't be the first to cry at a doctor's appointment!!
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Jaime, I think it's important you talk to your gynecologist about this and I'm glad you're finally asking for some support.
While I don't have your exact problem, I do have a long scar on my chest from open heart surgery. I've had it since I was a child, so I'm used to it, but in PE classes in middle and high school I could see the other girls staring and hear them gasp. This may seem strange, but to me the scar is beautiful - but it's my scar, so it holds meaning for me. Still, because of how girls reacted to it, I'd make sure to tell my boyfriends about it. Advance warning, I guess. Anyway, in college, when I had my first serious boyfriend, I told him about it. To my surprise, he thought it was sexy. Now that I look back on it, I think maybe it was my attitude and confidence in myself that made it sexy. Your breasts may be uneven and not the "norm" but I think if you're open about it in a relationship and with a guy who really likes you, it shouldn't be a big deal. There's more to "sexy" than you think. Jaime, from what you write here, I know you're brilliant, and from your pic I can see that you're beautiful and sweet too - and that's sexy!
I hope your gyno appointment goes well. You'll keep us updated, right? 
I'm sending you lots of hugs! 
Edited by Maria! Maria! (03/07/06 01:29 PM)
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Hi Jaime,
First of all, I think it is perfectly natural for you to be scared and feel the way you do. The media and advertising doesn't let us forget for a minute that unless we are perfect in every way from our breasts to our toes, we will be rejected by all the men in our lives.
I will be 60 years old in three months and my left breast was always bigger than my right breast, my cleavage was bigger on that side . . . and no boy ever noticed. I didn't have a problem about one being misshapen as you seem to have, until I had breast cancer. Then I really had a problem. First of all, I lost a chunk of breast and was left with a scar. But that healed well. But radiation turned my breast into what looked like the bad side of an alligator's foot.
The really awful part was I got cancer in my right breast which was the small one! I told my oncologist that I wanted breast augmentation and she agreed I would be a good candidate for augmentation but after I saw the ruin of a breast I had after radiation I didn't see how that could ever be reversed.
I felt really sorry for my breast and massaged it every day. I am white but my black friends from the West Indies told me to use coconut butter. That is what they used to get rid of scars on their dark skin. Within a few months the alligator skin started to disappear and although it doesn't look quite the same as my bigger breast it looks a whole lot better than it did and I massage it every day.
Not only that, but I have a new boyfriend who loves that breast as much as my bigger, ordinary looking left breast. Again, he doesn't even notice. I had surgery only 16 months ago, doll.
But you do what you have to and don't worry about it. For Pete's sake don't feel guilty about it. We let society dictate to us too much. It's your body and no one else's.
Colynda. 
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Jaime,
My daughter had the same problem that you have. I watched her for years cry every year when the weather warmed up, or when she was shopping for a dress for prom and just buying regular clothes. My heart broke for her and it didn't matter how many times I told her that the size of her breats didn't matter it did to her and that was all that was important. Nothing I said made her feel better. She finally did have breast implants, she is 25 now. I think that was the happiest day in her life. The size didn't matter she just wanted to be normal.
I'm not saying this is the best answer for everyone but it was for her. It is good you are going to a woman gyn. so hopefully you will feel more comfortable talking with her. I have found that woman doctors are much more understanding about woman issues than men are. Usually when I go for a physical my doc takes me to her office before I get undressed and talks to me about any problems or concerns that I may have. It is easier to talk when you aren't in one of those paper gowns. Please find the courage to talk to her about your feelings and concerns.
Like Bev said, in 20 years this won't seem like such a big deal but I know that it is now. If you decide that surgery isn't the right thing for you maybe couseling is an option to explore your feelings. There are many men out there who do not care one bit about the size of a womans breast or if they are the same size. Society makes us feel that we must have the perfect body, breast size, etc. to be loved but in reality this isn't true. The women who seem perfect in the magazines are a small miniority. The average woman has flaws and men love us despite those flaws.
We are all here for you and hopefully being able to open up on to us will help give you the courage to open up to others.
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Janey
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I'll just start babbling, and maybe it'll help, or maybe I'll just be... um... babbling. But hey, it's worth a try, right?
Thankfully, I'm the Queen of TMI and totally without shame about it, heh. 
For starters, you're completely right that nobody's perfect - of course! - but you might be surprised to know that unevenness is more common than you'd think. I didn't even know that until I was... hmm... well, older than you are now. LOL I had a lot of the same embarassment, because I'm drastically uneven. The difference between the two breasts is more than a full cup size. (As of right now, Lefty is a DD, and Righty is a C.) To look "normal", I wear pads in one side. (Well, when I think to, or when I think it'll matter. Most of the time I don't even think about it anymore - trust me when I say that this WILL matter less as you get older.)
More than the size difference, though, I've been very self-conscious about the shape of them. I'll just say that they seriously lack perk. LOL The nipples point straight down. They've always been that way, ever since I started developing when I was 11 or so... and let's just say that it's only gotten more pronounced with age and weight fluctuations.
I thought the same thing you did, when I was younger - who on earth would ever find them sexy? - but the truth is that not only WILL someone, but "sexy" is a total package deal anyway. You'd be amazed at how invisible our flaws are to the opposite sex (or gender of choice, whatever!), when they're attracted to you & care about you. I've been married & divorced twice & I've dated a lot of men - I know of what I speak. Not a single one of them was ever repulsed by what I saw as my worst body flaw - in fact, most of them really loved 'em! Go figure!
Anyway, I think that you have a good plan of attack here, for starters. Talking to a gynecologist is a good first step... and I agree, writing it down is an excellent idea. In fact, to fully convey to him/her how this is affecting you, you might want to just print out this post - don't try to make it seem like it's less of a problem to you than it really is, out of fear or embarassment or whatever.
(And by the way, take a deep breath, relax, and don't be afraid of the gyno... honestly, truly, the exam isn't nearly as bad as 99% of women make it out to be. The speculums are typically warmed a little these days, and remember that the "stranger" is a professional who does this all day, every day, and has for years. And it all goes very quickly! Going to a regular doctor's is a hundred times worse!)
I can't say for sure that your doctor is going to agree or disagree that surgery is a good idea. Because of your age, they might recommend waiting, but then, because of the impact this has had on your mental and emotional health, they might think otherwise. Just keep an open mind about what they suggest.
And hey, if you ever need to email to just vent about it, my inbox is always open. I've come to a sort of peace about my weird misshapen breasts, but I know all about the evils of self-image problems and what they can do to you, so I'm at least a sympathetic ear.
*hugs*
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aww.. I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this.
Unfortunately, I don't have any pearls of wisdom to share, however, I have read and learned that almost half of all women have breasts that are different sizes. Generally, just about one cup size, and I'm not sure how different yours are. I say talk openly to your doctor if you can muster the strength. I think the problem is actually a lot more common then you'd think.
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The "normal breasts" website... obviously, not at all safe for work, but something that was posted in a love-your-body kind of lj community that I'm part of, and felt like it was at least a little relevant:
http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php
You've probably seen stuff like that anyway - it was definitely not anything new to me - but sometimes a visual reminder helps.
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Oh, Jaime.  I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Like many other women, I don't have a matched set, either. I'm on the small side, so when I was a teenager, it was REALLY obvious. I went through all the thoughts you had and was just totally obsessed about it. I either wore something really baggy or put a pad in my right cup.
I would like to say that I came to terms with this gracefully and now lead a full, rich life even with horribly lopsided breasts, but actually, I got really really sick (unintentionally) and lost a ton of weight. I lost a bra size and eventually ended up as a 32B. They're still different sizes, but it is definitely no longer noticeable. (I am obviously not recommending this as an option, particularly since it could be it was just some kind of freak of nature that this happened. Just saying what happened to me.)
As much as we can all sympathize, only you know what you're going through. I'm not going to say that in ten years you'll laugh at yourself for your silly fears -- or that guys will love you no matter what -- or that you should go get a boob job and you'll be OK. I don't know if any of that is true, and it's all just essentially platitudes anyhow. I do know that you are going in the right direction by (a) posting about it, and (b) talking to your gynecologist -- facing a problem head-on, even one with no easy answer, is still a hundred times better than letting it fester away inside you.
Therapy is an obvious suggestion -- talk to someone. Maybe not a trained professional, but maybe just tell your best friend what's going on. I know it's really tough, but friends are there for emotionally trying situations. And eventually maybe you'll find that you do need surgery to truly be happy with yourself. And that's OK, too.
The funny thing is, after all the tests/surgeries I've had, I've lost pretty much all self-consciousness. At one point I was in a recovery room and my way-too-large hospital gown slipped down enough for one breast to pop out. I just said, "Oops," and tucked it back in. A couple years ago, I would turned red, grabbed the gown, triple-knotted it, and not have been able to look at the nurse ever again.
If you want to talk more about any of this, please feel free to email me. lilivare@gmail.com
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Jaime
#250601 - 03/07/06 02:02 PM
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I don't have the breast size difference thing but LOTS of women do. One of my friends (we lost touch years ago) who was super attractive had it. She said she was so self conscious about it that she always kept her bra on during intimtate moments in the beginning. She had lots of very attractive BF's so I am guessing that NONE of them cared!!!! She was also pretty flat chested, probably an A and a B cup.
She even showed me what she looked like with the bra on but the padding taken out in one side. NO BIGGIE!!!
I agree with Casey, sexy is not about boob size or shape at all. But that's hard to say to you if it's depressing you.
If you're considering plastic surgery, that's your right. Just know that it's so normal and not all boobs look like you see them on tv and movies.
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I definitely think you are heading in the right direction by starting to open up to others about your fears/concerns. Even if it is to your anonymous friends here, it's a huge step and I think you're very brave to do it. I applaud you!!
With that being said, I know that you can tell your doctor. It's harder to discuss sensitive issues face to face with someone, especially about our bodies because it is such a tender subject. But just remember, that doctors hear and see this stuff all the time. I am sure your doctor will handle this with the utmost professionalism and understanding and probably talk about different options that you can pursue.
One of my best friends had inverted nipples..where her nipples were turned inwards. They never hardened, if you will. This set her off about all the same insecurities you are talking about. She finally (at the age of 27) went to a plastic surgeon and had them fixed. She is so happy she did it and feels no regret. So, if you decide to go the plastic surgery route, that's great! I know a few girls with fake ones and they love them. You gotta do what will help you feel better and help you learn to love yourself.
It's not silly that you are so upset about this. I think as women, we are so conscious of all our imperfections and we blow them out of proportion in our heads..our boob size, our stomachs, our thighs, everything becomes imperfect when subjected to our hyper-critical self-scrutiny. But, just remember, you are a beautiful girl and you are worthy of anyone's love. Any guy who can see you for who you are and appreciate that will NOT care if your boobies are two different sizes. I promise
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Self image is one of the most difficult things to deal with. We are most critical of ourselves. I have one C cup and one D cup and it doesn't bother me one bit. And I have one inverted nipple. Also doesn't bother me. I've yet to meet a perfect person and I don't think I ever will. We're all flawed, we're are different. So in a way, being unique is actually completely ordinary. Growing up, my parents always took my sister and I to the beach on weekends. Seems like a normal family thing to do. The thing is, my parents are nudists. To this day, my dad lives with other nudists. It's definately a lifestyle choice. And there's nothing wrong with it, it's just not for me. Too cold in Oregon to go around naked. But, the good thing that came out of it was seeing how many forms the human body comes in. Having 50 or so naked people over to your house for a weekend party can be very interesting. People come in all shapes and sizes. Skinny, fat, tall, short, stocky, slender, "misfigured", it goes on and on. No two people are alike. And I learned that however my body grows (I was pre-teen at the time) it's natural and I had nothing to be ashamed of. However your body has grown, it's natural and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You're just right the way you are. Don't worry about talking to doctors. They've heard and seen it all. And if a man doesn't like the way you look, that's his problem. Be gone with him. Any man worth keeping around will appreciate who you are the way you are. If you want plastic surgery to feel better, that's okay. But you don't need to be beautiful.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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but your e-mail isn't on the boards! I would love it if you would e-mail me at Ruchily@yahoo.com
*hugs*
Sarala
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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quite by accident. However, from what they say, it may well
solve your problem. Just google Benefil to get the website.
By the way, I'm trying the whole grain IF consumption plan
you were wondering about. Sorry to hear about your depres-
sion. -Bob
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<img src="http://www.math.mtu.edu/~rwkolkka/BritPicA.jpg">
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Hi there! I realize that it took a lot of courage to post that, so my hat's off to you.
As other people have said, nobody's perfect. Look at any professional bodybuilder, and you will see how obsession has driven them to do very insane things to their bodies! Their accomplishments are nothing short of amazing, but for many of these men - men who have genetics and physiques that most could only dream of having - it is simply not enough.
So it's fairly common to point out your own flaws - in fact, pretty much everyone here is trying to figure out just how the heck to deal with their dang IBS. You should not feel ashamed of feeling this way about yourself, or for bringing it up.
As a man, I will admit that I will check out a woman's breasts when talking to her (at least the first couple times). (Gee, how do I say this without sounding like a complete perv?) But... if I reaaally like a woman, then I find the highest level of physical attraction comes from her eyes. And in fact, I'd personally take a pair of deep, dark eyes over breasts any day!
That being said, this is your decision and there is no wrong choice here. If you choose to get an implant or deal with things on your own terms, your true friends will support you no matter what.
I wish you the best of luck on this,
EvilCats
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Jaime
#250694 - 03/07/06 11:29 PM
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Jaime I'm so sorry you're feeling so poorly about yourself right now Your post brought tears to my eyes, literally
Well following Casey's example of "nothing is too-TMI," here's some hyper-personal womanly sharing for you...!
First on the topic of breasts. I was a really really late bloomer. I still look younger than I am, but I mean I didn't get my period until I was 17. I had a bit of other "developments" prior to then, but basically I was totally flat chested (and skinny and completely non-curvy) throughout high school. In the last few years (I'm 22) I've grown a little bit (I'm still basically an A cup, but sometimes a B cup with the more generous companies  ) - but all in all I'm pretty flat chested. Your comment "i hate how my breasts look, so why would anyone else think they're sexy? " really rang true to me. For all intents and purposes I guess mine are both the same size, but I had sooo soooo much anxiety about sex and the prospect of being naked with someone else when I was younger (as in, a few years ago) because I was terrified that I'd be in a sexual situation, take off my shirt, and my partner would go "uh, where are your breasts?" Seriously. I make light of it now but I was really really terrified and depressed over it. (You know those dreams where you're back in high school and then you realize you're suddenly naked and everyone's laughing at you? I remember having a dream exactly like that once... only I was naked, and NO ONE NOTICED. Which was kind of traumatizing for me.)
Another anxiety I had (and here's that hyperpersonal female part) - the shape of my vagina/vulva. I was sooo concerned about this! I don't even really remember why... I thought the lips were too big or too far apart or something... I guess from seeing vaginas in porn or, honestly I don't even know. But I just thought mine looked really WRONG and I even checked around on the internet to see if there was surgery to get it "fixed" (there is plastic surgery to "improve the appearance of your vagina"... but now I think that's just really twisted...)
Anyway, as I've become more sexually active I've become more accepting of my body and all it's little quirks - I think in part because I've been able to experience my body a little more, and also because I've had more partners who haven't even remotely noticed all those little things that I notice. I've also seen and been with some women (I'm bisexual) and I've been truly (and pleasantly) amazed to find a real diversity in women's breasts and vaginas Seriously! It's been actually really glorious for me, considering the serious anxieties I had about my own body. Despite what TV and movies tell us, women in the real world look really different. And I think that's downright fantastic. (I know, that might not be terribly comforting right now...  )
But really, I think you'll find that in general sexual partners are really less critical of bodies than you expect them to be - or than you fear them to be. I know that our culture is really disgustingly set on its "your body must look perfect" diatribe, but I truly believe (and it's really been my experience) that if someone wants to roll around naked with ya, by the time you take off your shirt, for most people imperfections like breast size, scars, hair, freckles, veins, wrinkles etc. are not going to be a major turn-off, you know?
I think that women ALL have anxieties like this about their bodies... (and evidently, men too - my (male) partner has confessed similar anxieties to me - but I think women experience it to a much greater degree)... The thing is, we just don't share them with each other. We're afraid - as I was, deathly afraid, and as you are - that people will think we're freaks or something. But we all have little quirks like this that we're terrified about. So, definitely hats off to you for coming here for support and for talking to your gyno about this. Try, if you can, to talk to some of your female friends maybe too. I'll bet that you'll get a similar response - they'll tell you all about those things that they hate/are anxious about their bodies.
You know... I find all this terribly depressing and liberating at the same time. Depressing - because it's disgusting that we live in a society in which basically all women have/have had something that they're terrified about regarding their bodies. And liberating - because talking to other women like that gives you the chance to realize that you're not the only one, you're not alone, you're not a freak etc...
Anyway, that was a lot of rambling on my part and I'm not sure any of it will be terribly helpful, but I'm sending you lots and lots of good, positive and loving internet vibes tonight.
And as always feel free to email me any time... I'm always up for more chatting (laurelmitchell at gmail dot com).
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Re: Jaime
#250724 - 03/08/06 08:04 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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You've gotten some good advice and do look at that web site Casey posted, thats what most "real" women look like, not these skinny, big boobed girls on Tv!! I don't know of any girl who doesn't have some sort of "issue" with her body. When I was younger, I wanted a nose job so bad. I would sit in front of the mirror and cry. I have a very large hump on my nose and its very crooked. I still would rather have a different nose than I do but its what I've got. I am also very small chested, barely fill an A cup. If I was skinny, I guess I wouldn't be so upset by it but when my tummy sticks out farther than my boobs, well, not so attractive at all! And don't even get me started on my stretch marks!
Sure, I get upset and depressed sometimes over these things but being sexy is more a state of mind that a physical thing. Take a drop dead gorgeous chick who is a total bitch and an average regular looking girl with a great personality and good self esteem and I'll bet you 9 out of 10 guys would pick personality over looks for any serious relationship! You are as sexy as you think you are! Put on some red lipstick, a sexy nighty, some good music and give your man a good come hither look and he won't care what your breasts look like, or anything else for that matter!
In all seriousness though, do talk to your dr about it and if you think surgery is the right choice for you than thats what you should do. Try to talk to other women, don't be ashamed or afraid, the more you talk about it the easier it will be to deal with in whatever way you find best for you! Hugs!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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hey....i cant help but feel bad, and feel for you...i've been a a cup all my life (expect for now i'm not becuase pregnant..) but i've been teased....i've been self consious, i wear strickly padded bras...because our idea of a beautiful body also goes with beautiful breasts...which some of us are not lucky enough to have..or unlucky depending on who you talk to...
after breastfeeding my daughter, my boobs were saggy...and small...ugly combo to me...i had a friend who had a son, and on the same boat...so i felt more impowered being able to joke. but not being intimate with someone for a long time, i didn't care, until i started to be again with guys...i wouldn't take off my bra, i told them i am really consious about my boobs and they were ok with it. Mike ive not had that problem, i told him from the start i hate my chest...he tells me i'm beautiful no matter what...but i cover them constantly...
to make it worse..my nipples are bigger, but not my boobs....which makes me uncomfortable about them too, becuase all these girls have perfect boobs and nipples...i have neither....
i think writing it down for your doc would be a good idea...most doctors are compassionate people, who understand not feeling good in the body you were given.
i know people will say love your body, which yes, you should, but i understad CONPLETELY, i hate my boobs..i'm embarassed about their disfunctions too. guys don't always care about it. i mean they do...they'll say they dont, but they do, but i've felt it easier on me to joke about it, at work a girl accedently elbowed me in the boob, she was like OH MY GOD I"M SO SORRY! i said "oh, odn't worry, its mostly padding anyway, i didn't even feel it!!" which opend the door to her telling me that she got implants a few years ago, she went from a bad bad a cup to a b-c cup that she loves them, becuase they just look natural, not huge, but like a woman should feel, so one day i want to get mine done too, becasue it is a huge feminine part of a woman!!
but honestly...i think if you are somewhat flat too..i've seen some sexy women who just work it...look at gwen stephani (before she got all rap-like) she's damn sexy, and very very small, she flaunts her little lady lumps!! haha...
but jaime...if there is anyone that would understand the pain it can cause....it's me....like i said, with mike i told him i hated my boobs, and that i wore padded bras, and that what you see isnt' completely what you get, he gives me a hard time sometimes, because i give myself a hard time, but i do feel accepted and beautiful with him!
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Not too make too light of the discussion but I remember when Will and I first started dating. When it came time to think about getting naked with eachother  I told him that I only wear "wonder bra's." He looked at my modest (thats a nice word for FLAT chest! ) and was like "huh?" I told him its a wonder bra because when I take it off, he will wonder where my boobs went!! I don't even fill an A cup and really don't even need a bra but I wear the padded ones too because it makes me feel better about my figure!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Just wanted to share my thoughts, from one small-breasted (22 year old) girl to another! Sorry if it's a bit long..
I have to say I've never found a bra that fits. Had some success ordering from www.figleaves.com website. I own 2 bras and they are super padded, which fills up most of the cup (so I don't have to hehe). But really, I like being small, and I mean SMALL. 30AA, and they are not even. It's something that makes me different in sea of girls trying to look the same perfect shape. It also is about 'workin it' as someone else mentioned, no one can say Gwen Stefani isn't beautiful and feminine.
I tend to only wear a padded bra with certain shirts and for fun evenings out. It's ok not to wear one (even if you don't look the same size) every day! I assume a lot of girls out there wear padded bras, if not for size, at least for shape. I don't ever look at them and think, hey, yesterday she looked bigger and today she looks flater and uneven.. I look quite different day-to-day with a bra (probably look like a B) vs none (flat) and no one seems to care. So I hope you realise it's ok to look different each day, and can be fun too.
I think it's great you're opening up about this. Talking to your doctor about different options is really good. Changing something about yourself is completely fine, and I'm sure you'll find only acceptance from everyone. And there is the option of loving your body the way it is.
Wishing you the best,
Kat
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Kat
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There is a show on TLC called "Todd's World" that I love my kids to watch, it is by Todd Parr and the whole focus is about how it's okay to be different, to respect others, to be friends even if you like different things, great show...
This morning one of the characters suddenly realized her ears are 2 different colors. Don't laugh, get the gist here, she'd never noticed before, but once it was pointed out to her she wouldn't play with anyoen and tried to hide her ears all the time. When she finally showed her friends she was so ashaemd but they all loved her so they didn't care, didn't even get what the problem was, said, "You sure have clean ears!" It was so sweet to see my kids dealing with this issue (we always talk about the episodes) that so many of us as adults are still struggling with, body image issues and the like. I don't know what my poitn is except maybe take a lesson from a kid, and if you ever get to watch TLC in the morning check out Todd's World, it's darling.
Hugs to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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