Alicia
#249597 - 03/01/06 06:02 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Ya know something, Girlfriend? I'll be willing to bet that hubby had it good as a youngster while you did not. I think that we become caring and giving people when we have to work for it as children. It sounds to me that hubby never had to reach out; it was given to him. He's a very fortunate man.
That said, I wouldn't trade places with him. Cherish your loving, caring, emphathetic characteristics. They're what make you special.
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Actually, I had a wonderful, loving, nururing childhood with a great family. We never had money to throw around, but we had everything we needed. However, I suffered greatly at school because of my undiagnosed bipolar and OCD. I was the classic overachiever and hid everything. So yeah, I had major issues. My hubby comes from a great family, too. They're very fa
mily oriented, church going folks. I don't get it any more than you do. (or don't).
yOU'RE very insightful and darn good lookin' too! Beauty and Brains!
XOXO
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Nelly, Wow, that doesn't make sense to me. I would think he
would jump at the chance. But then again I haven't had a GF in
over 20 yrs., could be just my outlook. You should let him
know he doesn't know how good he has it.  -Bob
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<img src="http://www.math.mtu.edu/~rwkolkka/BritPicA.jpg">
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Do you girls pack your hubby's lunch? Or does he have a brief case he carries? If not, leave him notes in his car! I'd get a pack of sticky notes and write on them "Today is a good day to buy my wife/gf flowers!" Or "Today my wife/girlfriend needs a massage" Or "If you don't do something nice for your wife/gf today, she's going to boot your arse out to the curb!"  Ok, joking with the last one, kind of, but you get the point and maybe he will to! I know my hubby needs a figurative smack upside the head every once in a while to remind him of these kinds of things! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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You nailed it on the head, HS.
~nelly~ 
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Aw Nelly
#249718 - 03/02/06 12:41 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hey Nelly,
I just read through this whole thread and I think it's absolutely rotten the way your boyfriend is reacting.
On the one hand, I agree that most people who don't have a chronic illness will never be able to understand and be able to properly empathise with what we are going through (or what you seem to be going through on a few counts!) and that a lot of times, men just want to be able to fix things. I guess it's possible that he figures if he feels groggy, and feels better after going for a run than that's how it should be with you too...
BUT (but!but!but!) the other stuff, about passing it off with the "not the most compassionate person" thing and all that, that's ridiculous. You can't notice something bad about yourself and then just use that as an excuse! If you recognise it, that means you should be ready to CHANGE it!
The comment about him not touching you, and looking at you like you've got bugs on you really bothered me. There is not being empathetic, and then there is just being cruel... If your boyfriend looks at you like that, how can you have intimacy and comfort and and the warm and fuzzy stuff that can help you get through the times that aren't so good?
I do want to give him a proper smack in the head, because I've seen pics of you and you are very lovely and there is no reason you should have anyone looking at you like that!
I'm glad that you've got your test results and you can start trying to make plans or whatever the next step is and hopefully start to feel better!
Keep us updated, I'll be checking in to see how you are doing!
**loads of hugs**
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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