Stressing out... need good vibes
#248304 - 02/24/06 07:31 AM
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Kree
Reged: 10/08/03
Posts: 3748
Loc: Northern NY
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Hi guys. I'm hoping some of you can send some good vibes my way. I'm having major issues at work and have been very stressed out lately. To summarize, my principal pretty much told me that I'm not living up to his expectations and that if I don't improve I won't get tenure. As if that doesn't cause enough anxiety, now he's going to be watching me like a hawk every day. Even before this I really didn't like my job. The district has a really backwards view of special ed and I seem to get blamed for everything that goes wrong. I just don't fit in there. This just cements my resolve to get out, but the bad thing as a teacher is that I have to stick it out for another 4 months until the end of the school year.
As if that's not enough, I've been having terrible problems with acid reflux since around Christmastime and can't seem to get them under control. I tried Prilosec OTC with no luck. My doc just put me on Aciphex, but it's been almost a week and that doesn't seem to be helping either. Plus the acid seems to be bothering my IBS, too.
In all, I'm just miserable, sick, and lonely, and I could use all the support I can get. There's hardly anyone my age up where I'm living and I feel so isolated sometimes. This week was my February break and it's been so nice to be at my parent's house near Rochester, but it's only Friday and I'm already dreading having to go back to work next Monday. I can't wait to get out of that school and move back to civilization.
Wow, sorry I vented for so long here. I guess I had a lot to get off my chest. 
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Kree,
I am very sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time and that you hate your job. Just hang in there girl and these next four months will fly by and you can get out of there. You have a spring break too don't you? Hopefully so because that will break up the time and give you something to look forward to.
It is hard to imagine the principle giving you such a hard time. It is difficult to do your job when you know someone is watching your every move and critizing you. Try not to think about the principal and do the best job that you can.
I sure do hope the meds will kick in and help the acid reflux. I'm sure your stress level isn't helping much with that or your IBS.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
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Janey
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Kree-
I am sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I understand the stresses of education and right now it just seems to be a really tough job to be in. I have special admiration for special ed teachers. I couldn't do my job properly without there help. There are some students who simply cannot do the work at the level I teach. We have a great staff here and are all so supportive of each other. I can't imagine being somewhere that wasn't like that.
Did the principal offer you any advice to meet his expectations? Because that is his job as your supervisor to do so. And if he isn't specific with what he is having a problem with then can you talk to your union rep and let them know what is going on. I know in our district they have to let you know specifically what they want you to work on if the administrator is concerned.
I really hope that things get better for you. Just remember to stay positive and remember that you are making a difference in children's lives! I don't know how the job market is in New York but could you possibly start looking for a new place to work? Good Luck with this and feel free to vent anytime!! *hugs*
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...and good job-hunting vibes, too!!
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Wow, Kree!
#248321 - 02/24/06 08:29 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Gee, you NEVER need support! I think this is the first time I've ever seen you ask for it!
And I'm very surprised about your job. I remember when you were so enthusiastic about it, and in fact don't I recall you being excited about the move as well? Or am I mistaken?
Well, I don't know nothin' 'bout no teachin' jobs, so I don't really understand why you can't leave before the school season ends -- but I do know they have substitutes who are supposed to be able to fill in when teachers can't be there. It's not as if you would leave them without anyone to take over in your absence, or am I missing something here? I too used to think I was irreplaceable in my job, but guess what....?!
Listen, to my way of thinking, your health is ALL that matters. If this job is stressing you out as you say, IT AIN'T NO GOOD! Get yourself out there and find another -- and fast! Your principal says you won't get tenure? What do you care if you don't like the job? I don't understand.
One thing I DO understand is how jobs can throw our IBS out of control, oh yeah I understand that all TOO well. But when that happened to me, I got out there and made a big change. I hope you do the same, and SOON, so you can return to civilization as we've come to know it.
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Thanks for the kind words, Janey. Yes, I do have a Spring break to look forward to in a couple of months, thank goodness. It's kind of sad to think that I'll be living for that every day for months! And yes, I will certainly try to ignore my principal. I certainly don't care what he think anyway, except that he may be getting calls from future employers and I want him to have good things to say about me. Thanks again for the advice.
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Hi Angela. Yes, my principal did offer me advice. As a matter of fact, he had a contract drawn up for me, and I had it approved by my union reps before signing it. He also planned for me to start working with a mentor, which they only gave me in name my first year.
As for looking for new work, I've already started filling out applications! At least that's giving me something to look forward to. The job market isn't great in Rochester, where I'd like to end up, but I'm hoping my 2 years of experience will make me more marketable. We'll see!
You're right, I do need to just focus on helping the kids, and that's what I'm trying to do. Thanks for giving me some advice from a teacher's perspective. I really love working with kids, so it's too bad this job is spoiling my view of teaching. I hope I find another one I enjoy more.
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Sorry to hear your principal is giving you such a rough time. He doesn't sound very understanding. I hope you're able to make it through the rest of the year without getting too stressed out and without it affecting your health. Do you think your acid reflux problem is being aggravated by work worries?
I'm sending you positive vibes.
Take care of yourself! 
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Re: Wow, Kree!
#248340 - 02/24/06 08:57 AM
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Kree
Reged: 10/08/03
Posts: 3748
Loc: Northern NY
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Hi Bev. You're right, I was *very* excited about this job and my move last year! It was so nice to have a real job and get my own place. But over the past year and a half reality has set in, and it's not as wonderful as I had imagined. I'm hoping I'll be able to find a teaching job I enjoy, but this one just isn't right for me. My fellow resource room teachers are ultra-clicky, so I always feel like an outsider and even miss out on information sometimes, as much as I try to stay in the loop. And it certainly doesn't help that I've only made ONE real friend up there because there's no one else my age in my school.
You're absolutely right, I don't care at all about getting tenure. It's just that if my principal doesn't think I'm doing a good job he won't give me good recommendations when future employers call. I feel like if I fail at this job I'm hurting my chances for future jobs.
As for not being able to leave in the middle of the year, it's a contractual thing. Leaving for something like pregnancy, major health problems, or family issues is one thing, but leaving because I'm miserable and don't like the job is another. According to my contract, I'm supposed to be employed there for this entire school year. Once again, it would just look *really* bad to other districts if I leave. I agree that my health is the most important thing, but I don't want to ruin my future as a teacher just because I'm stressed. I don't want to be a quitter.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. I'm already looking for another teaching job and plan to get out of there ASAP, believe me... it's just that ASAP will need to wait another 4 months. But I can get through it!!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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