Stressing out... need good vibes
#248304 - 02/24/06 07:31 AM
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Kree
Reged: 10/08/03
Posts: 3748
Loc: Northern NY
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Hi guys. I'm hoping some of you can send some good vibes my way. I'm having major issues at work and have been very stressed out lately. To summarize, my principal pretty much told me that I'm not living up to his expectations and that if I don't improve I won't get tenure. As if that doesn't cause enough anxiety, now he's going to be watching me like a hawk every day. Even before this I really didn't like my job. The district has a really backwards view of special ed and I seem to get blamed for everything that goes wrong. I just don't fit in there. This just cements my resolve to get out, but the bad thing as a teacher is that I have to stick it out for another 4 months until the end of the school year.
As if that's not enough, I've been having terrible problems with acid reflux since around Christmastime and can't seem to get them under control. I tried Prilosec OTC with no luck. My doc just put me on Aciphex, but it's been almost a week and that doesn't seem to be helping either. Plus the acid seems to be bothering my IBS, too.
In all, I'm just miserable, sick, and lonely, and I could use all the support I can get. There's hardly anyone my age up where I'm living and I feel so isolated sometimes. This week was my February break and it's been so nice to be at my parent's house near Rochester, but it's only Friday and I'm already dreading having to go back to work next Monday. I can't wait to get out of that school and move back to civilization.
Wow, sorry I vented for so long here. I guess I had a lot to get off my chest. 
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Kree,
I am very sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time and that you hate your job. Just hang in there girl and these next four months will fly by and you can get out of there. You have a spring break too don't you? Hopefully so because that will break up the time and give you something to look forward to.
It is hard to imagine the principle giving you such a hard time. It is difficult to do your job when you know someone is watching your every move and critizing you. Try not to think about the principal and do the best job that you can.
I sure do hope the meds will kick in and help the acid reflux. I'm sure your stress level isn't helping much with that or your IBS.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
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Janey
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Kree-
I am sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I understand the stresses of education and right now it just seems to be a really tough job to be in. I have special admiration for special ed teachers. I couldn't do my job properly without there help. There are some students who simply cannot do the work at the level I teach. We have a great staff here and are all so supportive of each other. I can't imagine being somewhere that wasn't like that.
Did the principal offer you any advice to meet his expectations? Because that is his job as your supervisor to do so. And if he isn't specific with what he is having a problem with then can you talk to your union rep and let them know what is going on. I know in our district they have to let you know specifically what they want you to work on if the administrator is concerned.
I really hope that things get better for you. Just remember to stay positive and remember that you are making a difference in children's lives! I don't know how the job market is in New York but could you possibly start looking for a new place to work? Good Luck with this and feel free to vent anytime!! *hugs*
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...and good job-hunting vibes, too!!
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Wow, Kree!
#248321 - 02/24/06 08:29 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Gee, you NEVER need support! I think this is the first time I've ever seen you ask for it!
And I'm very surprised about your job. I remember when you were so enthusiastic about it, and in fact don't I recall you being excited about the move as well? Or am I mistaken?
Well, I don't know nothin' 'bout no teachin' jobs, so I don't really understand why you can't leave before the school season ends -- but I do know they have substitutes who are supposed to be able to fill in when teachers can't be there. It's not as if you would leave them without anyone to take over in your absence, or am I missing something here? I too used to think I was irreplaceable in my job, but guess what....?!
Listen, to my way of thinking, your health is ALL that matters. If this job is stressing you out as you say, IT AIN'T NO GOOD! Get yourself out there and find another -- and fast! Your principal says you won't get tenure? What do you care if you don't like the job? I don't understand.
One thing I DO understand is how jobs can throw our IBS out of control, oh yeah I understand that all TOO well. But when that happened to me, I got out there and made a big change. I hope you do the same, and SOON, so you can return to civilization as we've come to know it.
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Thanks for the kind words, Janey. Yes, I do have a Spring break to look forward to in a couple of months, thank goodness. It's kind of sad to think that I'll be living for that every day for months! And yes, I will certainly try to ignore my principal. I certainly don't care what he think anyway, except that he may be getting calls from future employers and I want him to have good things to say about me. Thanks again for the advice.
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Hi Angela. Yes, my principal did offer me advice. As a matter of fact, he had a contract drawn up for me, and I had it approved by my union reps before signing it. He also planned for me to start working with a mentor, which they only gave me in name my first year.
As for looking for new work, I've already started filling out applications! At least that's giving me something to look forward to. The job market isn't great in Rochester, where I'd like to end up, but I'm hoping my 2 years of experience will make me more marketable. We'll see!
You're right, I do need to just focus on helping the kids, and that's what I'm trying to do. Thanks for giving me some advice from a teacher's perspective. I really love working with kids, so it's too bad this job is spoiling my view of teaching. I hope I find another one I enjoy more.
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Sorry to hear your principal is giving you such a rough time. He doesn't sound very understanding. I hope you're able to make it through the rest of the year without getting too stressed out and without it affecting your health. Do you think your acid reflux problem is being aggravated by work worries?
I'm sending you positive vibes.
Take care of yourself! 
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Re: Wow, Kree!
#248340 - 02/24/06 08:57 AM
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Kree
Reged: 10/08/03
Posts: 3748
Loc: Northern NY
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Hi Bev. You're right, I was *very* excited about this job and my move last year! It was so nice to have a real job and get my own place. But over the past year and a half reality has set in, and it's not as wonderful as I had imagined. I'm hoping I'll be able to find a teaching job I enjoy, but this one just isn't right for me. My fellow resource room teachers are ultra-clicky, so I always feel like an outsider and even miss out on information sometimes, as much as I try to stay in the loop. And it certainly doesn't help that I've only made ONE real friend up there because there's no one else my age in my school.
You're absolutely right, I don't care at all about getting tenure. It's just that if my principal doesn't think I'm doing a good job he won't give me good recommendations when future employers call. I feel like if I fail at this job I'm hurting my chances for future jobs.
As for not being able to leave in the middle of the year, it's a contractual thing. Leaving for something like pregnancy, major health problems, or family issues is one thing, but leaving because I'm miserable and don't like the job is another. According to my contract, I'm supposed to be employed there for this entire school year. Once again, it would just look *really* bad to other districts if I leave. I agree that my health is the most important thing, but I don't want to ruin my future as a teacher just because I'm stressed. I don't want to be a quitter.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. I'm already looking for another teaching job and plan to get out of there ASAP, believe me... it's just that ASAP will need to wait another 4 months. But I can get through it!!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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I'm so sorry.
One of my best friends is a teacher and her principal had it out for her too. She was a bitter lady and had her favorites and one or two that she picked on. My friend tried to do tons of extra things (staying late, coaching, holding events) but it never changed her view. Nothing was ever good enough.
The ONLY way for my friend to survive was to apply to another school. She got in and the new principal is fabulous. I would say try to GET OUT!
Another close friend of mine is a teacher as well. She teaches gifted students and she says that following the ciricumlum (sp?) is sooo frustrating. Being a teacher is HARD WORK!!!
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Sending lots and lots of good vibes!!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Sarah, it's good to hear that your friend is so much happier at her new school. I guess there's hope for me after all. Sometimes this whole thing just makes me feel like I'm a bad teacher, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's not me. I can't wait to find a school that's right for me, too!!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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I'm sorry sweetie! I couldn't imagine the stress of knowing my boss was watching my every move, thats no way to have to go through the day. Have you been looking for other places to work? Than to have the acid issues on top of the stress, or maybe the acid is a result of the stress? There are stronger scripts they can give you like Prevacid but I know that D can be a side effect.
I'm sorry your having such a rough time right now and that you're so lonely. I have a hard time making friends too. Hang in there, we are all here for you. Hugs and Love
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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It's NOT you!!! I bet all the kids and their parents love you. They all loved her but her principal had something up her butt! ha ha
Change schools if at all possible!
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Awww, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I was a spec ed teacher, too, so I totally know where you're coming from. Admin wants you to do your job so it looks like spec ed doesn't exist and everything is rosy. Trouble is, the children have serious problems, are sometimes behavioural nightmares which you get blamed for not "fixing", and sometimes the parents are even worse (though many are wonderful, too).
Can you ask for another evaluation by another person? LIke the principal's boss?
I know my cousin was at a terrible workplace with coworkers ganging up on her and a nasty boss, and she finally just decided to stop caring. She just went about her business, and if they didn't like it - fine. Kree - you said it yourself - you don't want to work in this area anyway, so do what you have to do to get through the school year and that's it. Don't let yourself get beaten down by these goofs. Start brushing up your resume and make a fresh break for it this summer.
Did I ever tell you about the time where I had such an awful principal that he made me teach instrumental music in the CAFETERIA?????? With a juke box behind me, and french fryers buzzing every 10 minutes, and people coming in and out. No chalkboard, no supplies, NOTHING. It was hell.
Sending you tons and tons of teacher hugs (with some applesauce - easier on the tum than an apple)
Smooches,
A.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Wow, Kree, I'm with Bev. I don't think I've ever heard you vent or complain about anything. I'm glad you felt like you could share all this with us.
Big hugs and prayers that you will make it through the year and that you will be put into a teaching position that is a better fit for such a loving, special, intelligent person.
It's horrible feeling lonely too. You just want to cry from lonliness.
Believe it or not, 4 months will pass quickly. Time goes by so quickly...and pretty soon it will all be over!!!
In the mean time, please hang out on the boards and let us help you through this time.
And you should honored that you don't fit into such a screwed up school district!!! Sometimes the most gifted and qualified workers are the ones that have to go because they either refuse or cannot force themselves to go along with a status quo that they do not support or believe is right! You have a lot to be proud of!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Hi Kree, Sorry to hear about your predicament.Have you applied
for other teaching jobs for next year? Good luck with every-
thing!
For the acid reflux problem, Actaphex is the best stuff I
know of followed by Nexium. If you can get a script for either
of these, I think you'll notice a big difference.
By the way, do you live north of Potsdam? I almost went
to SUNY at Potsdam when I was a young lad, but thought it
was too cold there, and now look where I live<laugh>. We
just passed the 270 inch mark for snow this week.
Hang in there, hope you start feeling better! -Bob
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<img src="http://www.math.mtu.edu/~rwkolkka/BritPicA.jpg">
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I am also in a job that is very stressful and one that I dislike. It is a tough situation. I'll be praying you'll endure until the school year ends and then find a teaching post you are much happier in!! Hang in there!
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God is Faithful!
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Oh, Kree!!
#248497 - 02/24/06 04:37 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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First of all, I didn't know you were a special eddy!
second, jeez, what a situation this is. What is the view of special ed? Do they expect the kids to meet expectations set for reg. kids?
And it's so not fair for you to have to be miserable in that position. i mean, it's hard enough constantly advocating for the kids, dealing with their behaviours and being very in contact with parents, etc....which is the added stress of sped...but now your principal says THIS??
Can you email me with the details? it's shan _the _ webb @ yahoo. ca....just get rid of all the spaces.
Hugs to you, and HANG IN THERE!! Poor sweetie!!
You, my dear, need a day at the spa something feirce. And remember why you're there, not for admin, but for the kids.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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so much help to me on the Boards, I wish I had some brilliant advice to return the favor. I don't, but I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best in slogging through the rest of the school year and in finding a new better job - it sounds like almost any job would have to be better!
Please take care.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Kree ... sorry to hear you're having a rough time.
Give the Aciphex longer to kick in. I'm on it right now and I love it. It's not as strong as other PPIs, though, so you might need something more. Nexium is a lot stronger, but is notorious for causing D. I'm guessing you're probably already doing so, but make sure you don't eat ANYTHING that can trigger reflux -- mint, tomatoes, spicy food, citrus foods, etc. Make sure your last meal is a couple hours before bed, take the Aciphex as soon as you get up in the morning and wait at least 30 minutes before eating, and DO NOT let your stomach get empty. Stuff you've probably already heard and are doing already, I'm sure, but thought I'd mention it anyway. Also try going to Nexium or Prilosec's websites and check out what foods they recommend avoiding -- I remember being surprised at some of the foods they said that would cause reflux.
It's too bad your teaching job isn't working out. And I know that when you're unhappy, four months is not going to fly by! I guess the best thing you can do is try to break it up into smaller units of time -- adjust your thinking to, "OK, I've got to make it until Friday afternoon, when I can go home for the weekend." It seems to make life a little more bearable, anyway, than thinking, "OK, I have just got to make it 120 more days" (ugh).
Your profile only says Thousand Islands, but didn't you say once you were located in Alexandria Bay? (Or am I hallucinating?) During our honeymoon, my husband and I stayed one night there so we could go to Boldt Castle. This was probably the worst night of our honeymoon. If that's where you are, I don't blame you for wanting to get out.
But, sounds like you're being proactive and applying for stuff NOW, so hopefully you'll get a great job someplace more civilized where they will appreciate you! I will think happy thoughts for you.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Thanks Michele! Yes, I've been looking for other places to work. I even found out the other day that one of the districts I'm interested in is opening a brand new elementary school, so that's good news.
I didn't realize Aciphex wasn't as strong as some of the other meds. I'll certainly keep that in mind... although (knock on wood) I might have started feeling better the past couple of days!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Alicia, thanks for the great advice. I had forgotten you were a sped teacher at one point. I had no clue it could be so stressful... although I think it would be much less so if I had colleagues that were more cooperative. I've tried to stop caring, like your cousin, but it's tough to do! I'm just trying to go into each day with a positive attitude and stop focusing on the negatives, and that's helped somewhat.
OMG Alicia, your cafeteria experience makes my job sound like paradise. How horrible! Why do principals just not get it sometimes?? 
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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You're absolutely right. You CAN get through another four months. You didn't mention the kids you're teaching -- or if you did, I missed it. Try to focus on them, not on those peers of yours who are blocking you out. I know, it's easy for me to say, but I don't see that you have much choice. The kids are everything. If they like you and respect you, you got it goin', Girl.
Then, when four months are up, you can walk away with your head high.
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Lol, Augie, I guess you're right. I suppose it is a good thing I don't fit into my screwed up district. 
Yeah, the loneliness is one of the worst parts. I made one good friend, so at least I have her to talk to, but we very rarely get together outside of school because she lives pretty far away. I still may talk to my doc about getting some antidepressants until I get out of this place.
I will definitely come back here when I need support. As a matter of fact, I feel a little better about things already with all of you reminding me that it's not something I've dnoe wrong. Thanks!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Hi Bob. Noooo, I'm not north of Potsdam. Talk about cold and isolated. I definitely couldn't live in Potsdam! I'm much farther SW than that. I'm slightly east of Lake Ontario and just south of the Canadian border.
Thanks for the good wishes. I'm crossing my fingers the Aciphex might be working better now... we'll see!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Bamagirl, I'm sorry to hear that you're in a job you dislike, too! I never knew how horrible it could be to have to force yourself to go into a job you don't enjoy every single day. Thank you for the good wishes. I hope you find a job that's better for you, too!!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Shannon, I didn't know you were a sped, either! What grades do you teach? I guess it isn't so much my district's view of sped as much as the way things have been done there for a long time. For instance, I don't do any pushing into regular ed classes. The only thing I do is pull the kids out for resource room, which leaves me totally isolated from what they're doing in their classes. I tried to talk to my coworker, who has worked in that school for a long time, about the benefits of instituting push in, but she was totally against it and pretty much refused to dicuss it. As if that weren't bad enough, the teachers are horrible at communicating with the sped dept. I started using a new contact sheet that I send out every two weeks to get feedback from the teachers, but half of them don't send it back. There's a lot more to it than that, but that gives you an idea, at least.
I will certainly e-mail you with more details if you're interested, although don't feel that you need to listen to my venting, lol. It will probably be early next week before I get a chance, though. I'm going out with my mother today and have to drive back up north tomorrow.
A day at the spa... that sounds sooooo nice. I'm going to have to look into that...
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Hi Jen, thanks for the GERD advice. Yes, I am trying to do all those things, but I will certainly go to those websites and see what they list as causing acid. I'll probably be surprised, too!
That's a good idea about breaking my 4 months down into smaller amounts of time. It gives new meaning to the song that says, "everybody's working for the weekend", doesn't it?
I'm actually in Clayton, which is the next town to the west of Alex Bay. So you didn't have a great A Bay experience, eh? Lol. What time of year did you go there? The Bay is beautiful in the summer, but in the off seasons it's completely and utterly dead. Clayton isn't quite that bad, luckily... there are usually cars in the streets downtown year round, which can't always be said for the Bay. But it's still just too far away from a major city for me, especially when I need to get all the "special foods" for my IBS!
Thanks for the positive vibes!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Good girl. Keep up with the positive attitude. Keep your focus on the kids. Help the kids the best you can. Everything else is "fluff". So get a broom and sweep it into the garbage where it belongs.
Kids are the reason you're there. Keep that focus.
Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Ours was run in as a drop in centre. There was a book in the spec ed room, and slots and times to sign kids in. They could be signed in for up to 1/2 a period. They were expected to bring the work with them. For example, a math teacher would go and sign in certain students for a certain half period when they were in math class. They would then get their assignment, and come down to resource and we would help them with it.
It worked great. We also accepted ones that weren't pre signed in, as long as we weren't totally booked up. We set the limit generally at 4 - 5 kids per teacher/educational assistant. So max we would be helping about 15 - 20 kids per half period. That's a lot of kids through the day - but it really worked well. Of couse, we'd see the same student for more than one subject. The hard cores were allowed up to 2 full periods a day. The really hard working students, well, we didn't send them away if it was more.
The teachers loved it, because the kids got 1 on 1 on material that they needed help with from their class, and the teacher didn't have to spend as much time helping them within the class setting.
The kids loved it, as they got a break from class, and were able to focus and get help they needed. It really built a lot of self esteem. I LOVED working with a group of kids of 4 or 5 at a time from a class. They'd bring their assignment and away we'd go.
PLUS - what you worked on in resource was DIRECTLY from the teachers and the class which kept you connected, ya know???
Let me know what you think.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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We went in late May. (This is a bad time to go on a honeymoon, I guess, because wherever we went the weather was either totally freezing or totally hot and muggy -- crazy!) It was totally freezing that day. Misty and rainy and gray, just a miserable day, and the town looked so horrible and rundown. When we made our reservations the only nice-looking hotel we could find didn't have any free rooms, so we ended up at "the Bonnie Castle Resort". OMG! This place was horrible! The bathroom looked like it hadn't been cleaned since people liked Ike. The mattress was only slightly more comfortable than your average sheet of plywood. It was so cold we turned on the heat, and it smelled just awful, like something very hairy had just met a horrible death in the vents. I don't remember the name of the place where we went out to dinner, but it was very expensive and the food was awful. I ordered lasagna and I got a soup bowl swimming with watery tomato sauce with a few tough rubbery noodles and some very strange mysterious chunks of meat floating around. I don't remember what my husband got but it was terrible too. The bill was like over $60 and we had mainly just eaten the bread that came with dinner. We couldn't wait to leave.
What we didn't understand was how the town could be that horrible -- like you said, it was beautiful (even with the ugly weather). Good thing Louisa Boldt died young and didn't have to see what happened to the area.
We fell in love with the playhouse at Boldt Castle, though. Someday when I am rich and famous I will build a house just like it -- WAY far away from Alexandria Bay. 
Well, anyway, I hope you start to feel better. Being miserable in general is a thousand times worse when you feel cruddy physically. I am kind of a hypocrite because I just quit my job so am not actually doing the struggle-to-cope-thing anymore (well, I've got two more days left) -- but, I did find it really helpful to give myself small treats to look forward to. i.e. a new song off iTunes, a good book to read, something yummy to eat, a new episode of "Lost", whatever. That way at least some of the "how am I ever going to get through this day" thoughts are replaced by the thought of something nice waiting for you. I guess my situation is a little different because I do really like my job and co-workers, it's just health-wise it's become impossible to carry on. I guess it's the whole "distraction with a shiny object" thing.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Wow, that drives me nuts-schools that aren't for inclusion. i had that fight with the class i was teaching this year. Right now I'm subbing. I have subbed 1 1/2 years, and did that Sept-Dec. in a grade 4/5 classroom with kids with mild cognitive delays. loved them like there was no tomorrow. but there were a lot of teachers with sped experience and so I had lots of support.
Grr, sorry they're so backwoodsy.
HUGS!! Do e-me!!
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Keep on keepin' on...
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