Please Help...Weddings Open Bar, Closed Bar, Dry???
#247284 - 02/19/06 05:16 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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I am so sorry for continuing to talk about this...but I am having the hardest time with this. I cannot afford a completely open bar based on the number of people I want and the location I want. Plus, we have some alcoholics in the family who may be attempting to drive afterwards and I don't want to encourage them to drink too much.
So, I thought about the Cash Bar. My Dad says that is way too tacky. I would be serving wine at dinner, champagne for toasting and unlimited punch and soft drinks...just any other alcohol (beer, liquor) would have to be paid for.
Since neither of those options seem to be working, we were considering a dry wedding. Anyone had one/been to one? Neither Scott nor I drink so it kinda makes sense...and it would save money and keep people safe. I think we would just splurge on some nice champagne for toasting, and then have a good selection of non-alcoholic drinks for people to have for free.
Seriously any advice...I don't care what side of the fence you sit on, I just really want to know what people think because I feel so lost.
Thanks,
Kelly
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I've been to loads of weddings which had wine with dinner only. Perfectly fine, especially if there's alcoholics about!
~nelly~
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Thank you Nelly...you're my hero! I think it's being totally reasonable...problem is the alcoholics are on the groom's side and it's my Dad paying so that doesn't really seem to matter to him  But I'll keep working on it!
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but, remember this is YOUR wedding, Kelly, and you and Scott should do what you want!
I have alcoholics in my family, so whenever I get married, I plan on having a dry wedding. I think it's perfectly reasonable to have wine with dinner and champagne for toasting.
And don't worry about asking questions....it's great insight for me for whenever I end up having to do this!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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I think this is your best bet and a wise way to go. Actually I think so even if there were NO alcoholics (known). Because it's your wedding and you don't want it turning into some wild drunken party (I've seen receoptions end up just that way). They can do that on "their time", ya know?  This day/evening is about YOU!!!!
Enjoy the planning!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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People do it like that all the time. A little vino with dinner and maybe a champagne toast, with apple cider for the drivers and kids! No fuss, no muss, and way easier on your pocketbook!
Let us know where we can send the gift-wrapped imodium!! 
~nelly~
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Ugh, I remember this issue from planning my wedding. Mich and I thought "cash bar" because we have friends who can really put it away sometimes and we didn't want them to be out on the roads. That, and neither of us drink much anyway.
My Dad didn't like this idea. (He used to plan events as part of his job, I think, and cash bar just didn't wash for what he's accustomed to.) Anyway, our happy medium was open bar for the first 2 hours of the reception and then it went to cash bar for alcohol. Pop was free for everyone for the duration of the reception.
We didn't hear complaints from anyone, and we had the gamut of guests from "teetotalers" to "partiers."
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We only had wine and champagne at our wedding and no one seemed unhappy! Try not to stress too much about all this stuff! Its very easy for family to take over your wedding plans, I recommend you keep it simple and don't worry about getting your family liquored up!
Dan
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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A lot of weddings here in the US have an open beer and wine bar but no liquor. I think thats a good way to go. I know others dont' agree from the looks of the posts, but I do think you should have some alcohol at your wedding.
Other people I know have had open bar up until a certain amount of money (say 1,000 dollars) and then the bar switches to cash bar.
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Re: I agree
#247314 - 02/19/06 08:31 PM
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gigi
Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas
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When I go to a wedding it is to help the new couple celebrate their union. Not to drink till I'm drunk, or take advantage of free booze. We just go with the flow, and if no alchohol is served, we drink punch or whatever is served.
And are happy to be there.
I have seen so many people get loud and unruly, causing hurt feelings and family arguments that could last for years. It is just not worth it to me.
Just think of it this way, the less you spend on alcohol today, the more money you will have for your honeymoon tomorrow. After the wedding is over, everything is about your and your husband, and everyone else has gone home.
Its a win win situation. Have a toast at dinner, and then be done with it. People also forget how many guests have a traveling bar in thier vehicles, they just go out and fill up a glass or cup and come back in. That is rampant, and never thought of as a big deal by the person who is drinking. Because if they want to drink, they are going to drink. Just stick to your budget right now, because as the wedding nears, unexpected expenses will arise and you are going to need funds to take care of those little things that add up.
just my opinion, the big decisions are being made right now, you are almost over the worst part, then you can chill for a while and enjoy this time in your life.
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