Yikes, why does the thought of telling people I'm pregnant give me anxiety?
#243153 - 01/31/06 01:20 PM
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epa_ginger
Reged: 02/23/05
Posts: 1158
Loc: Chicago, IL
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I mean..I'm less than 2 weeks from my 2nd appt, which is when I planned to tell people. Not far! But things keep coming up I want to tell people, but they have to do with pregnancy, so I can't. Example: just had my performance review at work. It went great, I have a great, flexible boss. I told him I was pregnant, he made a few jokes, gave congrats. I asked if he'd be ok with me doing part time for sure after the baby is born. he said definitely, he wants to keep me no matter what, I just need to decide what works for me. Great news! But I can't tell my family yet. 
Then I tell my mom my husband wants to get a webcam when we get the puppy, so we can check on him while we're at work. (I'll probably watch him all day!) She said: "He's too funny! Can you imagine when you have a baby?" Well, sort of!! And we're seeing them Sunday at their place for dinner. So it would be a good time...
THEN--my sister in law bought a fixer upper house. And she's spent all her free time there lately (it needs it!), and said she's felt like a hermit, nopt being social. I said "well, we have been too" meaning me and my husband, just trying to make her feel better. She said "So why are you being a hermit? Are you pregnant and starting to nest?"
GEEZ!! Can't accuse her of being shy! I don't think I'd ever ask someone that, who specifically did NOT talk to me about that kind of stuff. (You know what I mean). And I don't want to lie so I just said "we're just lazy bums." Which really IS true, but not totally. And I'm not nesting! I'm laying on the couch doing nothing!!
So I just emailed my husband, and told him that for some reason the idea of telling people, and knowing when, is giving me major anxiety. I asked what he thought. I'm pretty much going to go with what he says. If he thinks telling our family's this weekend is ok, we'll do it. If he thinks we should wait (until after next appt), I will!
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I say just tell! I told everyone the moment I was pregnant. It's impossible to keep it a secret. I know you worried about what if you lose the baby then you will have to tell people. Your probable fine and if, God forbid, you do lose the baby then you have a support system if you need to talk about it.
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Big announcements are always nerve-wracking! No matter how nice they are. I can understand not wanting to tell until X time has passed, too.
But, at the same time, they're family, and family wants (needs) to share the good and the bad. I'm always very hurt when I learn about bad news years later. It's like being shut out, or not trusted enough. I don't know.
Let us know what you decide, and remember, once you tell everyone, you won't have any anxiety about about the thought of telling people. 
(And it's possible you aren't being as sneaky as you think, and they've already picked up on it ... hence the "pregnant" remarks!)
Oh, and fabulous news about your job! Hope that works out for you.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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I have gone back and forth on this many times. But in the end I have decided that telling people is so much fun and you should feel great when doing so. You are a mom and always will be. And like Heidi said IF God forbid something were to happen you will have many people to support you. But be positive and be happy and relax. Pregnancy is a wonderful thing and you should rejoice in it!! So shout it from the rooftop!! 
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I would tell them. When it comes right down to it the only opinions that matter are yours and your husbands. Do what you are both comfortable with and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Most likely, they'll be supportive and excited and then when anything happens that you need support for, you'll have them there.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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I say tell! 
Think of it this way...if (God forbid!) something did happen, even if you just had a scare, you'd want your family and closest friends to support you, so tell them you're pg now I say. And then they can enjoy the fun too! 
If and when we get pg I think I'll be telling our families straight away! Or Simon will!
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Yep, I agree! Once you get it out in the open, you'll feel a lot better! I'm sure things are going to work out just fine but if something happens and you lose the baby, you don't want to go through it alone and will need there support! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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It's his baby too, so I don't want to steamroll him. But I am going to talk to him again this week about it. I told him last night that all the deceiving I'm doing (hiding, avoiding, etc) is just getting to be too much. Like I'm spending more time trying to hide it than enjoying it. I suppose that's hard for him to understand.
Actually, I think I'm going to call the doctor's office and ask what they plan to do at the next appt. If it's go over bloodwork, I may ask if there were any problems. If not, maybe my husband will be more inclined to tell. I had a physical exam at my first appt, will they do that again? (Not a pap, cause I'd just had one in November, but just general poking around.) Otherwise, all I can think that they'd do is weight me, and do the urine testing.
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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I got pelvis with every exam with every pregnancy. They will weight you and you will pee in a cup for sure! Otherwise, not a lot they can do! Depending on what insurance you have and how your dr is, you may be able to ask for a ultrasound to see the heartbeat if you are nervous but not all dr's will do early ultrasounds.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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