Oh dear
#236170 - 01/06/06 06:24 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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They're running these ads on tv about how "depression hurts." TELL me about it!! 
I'm sleeping about 16 hours a day now cos that's the only time I don't feel horrible. My back feels like a vice is squeezing it all the time. Looking at light hurts. Man, I wish it were SPRING!!
My boss emailed me at 8pm last night to tell me there was a meeting today at 9:30. It's 9:17, and I just got the message and he's pissed I won't be coming in. Work is like a huge weight hanging over my head right now!!
I can't WAIT til the sun comes out!
~nelly~
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Oh honey! I'm so sorry you're feeling this badly! Have you ever thought of maybe a tanning salon or something similar? Perhaps it would mimic the effects of your much-missed sun.
*hugs* I hope you feel better soon! Just think, the days are getting longer!
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Dear Nelly,
This is not good. Are you on anti-depressants? As you know, it's a chemical imbalance and you won't just snap of out it hon. Is this because of your SAD? if so, Isabel's idea of a tanning salon is a good one. Or you can buy special lights to treats SAD. A friend in college sat in front of one for 30 mins every day and it helped her SO much.
I'm sorry about work.
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Thanks Tina
#236190 - 01/06/06 07:39 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Right now even stepping out of the house is daunting. If I had the energy to go outside, I know I'd feel better! Stoopid SAD.
I do have one of those sun lights for SAD, but it's not helping at the mo. I can't seem to break the gravitational pull of my room right now. It's like my soul is being ripped apart whenever I think of getting into my car, like it just feels "wrong" to leave at the moment. A very weird feeling to try to explain. 
My boss keeps emailing me and every time I see a message from him, I feel like crawling under my bed and putting my hands over my ears. Ever get that feeling?
~nelly~
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Re: Oh dear
#236191 - 01/06/06 07:41 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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You're totally right, I need to break the gravitational pull of this place and just get out there. The very idea makes me queasy~! 
Thanks for hte hugs!!! It makes it better talking about it. Feeling down is no fun!!
~nelly~
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I believe if your body wants to sleep like crazy you should let it But I would limit it. How long have you been sleeping for 16 hours? Days? Weeks?
This is tough. And too bad your lamp isn't helping. Is the BF being supportive? Is a trip down south at all possible? There are some super good deals right now and even a weekend away would help. You'd have to leave the house but the sun might revive you.
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Oh Nel!
#236199 - 01/06/06 08:08 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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That's depression no doubt....go get some a-d's. If the light isn't helping then it's not just SAD. And you have enough depression triggers going!
And can you find a physio that does TrP release? I bet that's at least partly why your back feels so ****. I know what that feels like and it's so horrible. And yup, that alone makes you not want to wake up!
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Poor Nelly
#236202 - 01/06/06 08:14 AM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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You poor thing, January is always a tough month but with the SAD and your sore back it sounds awful.
I do think the sleeping so much sounds like depression, get yourself sorted with a prescription and that will hopefully help. Hope the back gets better soon too.
Do try to get out, if you can, you know you should and you have the strength inside to, we are all rooting for you!
Take care
--------------------
S.
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Re: Thanks Tina
#236243 - 01/06/06 09:50 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I'd love to go South for the winter! I will lobby BF aggressively about it. Money's so super tight right now, I haven't even really been able to have a proper drive anywhere. I've been sleeping way too much, usually from 10pm to 9am, with a 3 hour nap around 4-ish. It's the only time I'm not in any pain!!  
~nelly~
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Thanks everyone
#236245 - 01/06/06 09:55 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I appreciate the suggestions! I just blew my last $120 on Ambien so I can't afford to see a doctor right now. This no insurance thing is really bumming me out.
I see a fibro doctor on the 31st, and even though it's going to cost me an arm and a leg (around $1700-- I'm going into debt with my parents to afford it) I know it'll be the best thing for me.
The SAD lamp doesn't give me energy at the moment, but it does stop me from sleeping all day. That thing is BRIGHT. My tummy is doing well right now, so that's one thing not to stress about. I just wish I could get some energy and a teaspoon of happiness right now!
Thanks guys for listening. I appreciate the support!
~nelly~
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