post i was waiting until after the holiday's to post...
#234921 - 12/31/05 09:48 PM
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Lyndsey
Reged: 02/16/05
Posts: 581
Loc: Bay Area, CA
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ok
again as i always say, i really have no friends that i can talk to about this. i've talked to mike a little about it...but not a lot...because i don't want to be "that girl" and i don't know anyone who has gone through it, and if i do know, they wont help or talk to me about it.
but i want to make sure it's ok to post, the subject matter is extremely sensitive, and may cause a stir but i really have no where to go, i can go to a counsoler, but it's so expensive, and part of me isn't fully ready.
the subject is childhood abuse...emotional and sexual. i need answers, i don't expect anyone to have any for me, but it's been driving me insane, if it's ok to keep going let me know, if not....i'll figure it out..
thanks guys
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I can relate. I've been fortunate to be able to see counselors (note I said counselorS lol because it has been an ongoing, evolving experience) but I don't have anyone IRL that I can talk to about my life (past or present). If you can find a therapist, that would be great. There are lots of places who see people on a sliding scale fee if you have no insurance. Maybe attending some ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) meetings might help. Even if your parents were not drinkers, all of the people there have experienced various types of abuse and would understand completely. Plus, the meetings are free...all are on a donation only basis. There are TONS of chatboards online to deal with just about any issue out there. Do a google search and you will find just about everything you could possibly want.
That said, there's still nothing to replace seeing a therapist one on one or in a group. Many offer group sessions that are at a much reduced price. That's where I first started years ago. It made all the difference in the world for me. It's tough at first, and yes, your life will probably turn upside down as you look at things that have been tucked safely away all these years, but it's worth it because you get to know YOU...the REAL YOU who existed before the abuse. The one that's been hidden away from everyone, but most of all, hidden away from you. When you're ready to deal with it, you'll know because nothing will be able to stop you from it. It will occupy your mind like crazy and if you're open to it, the right people will come along just when you need them. If you're not ready at this time, maybe the ACOA groups are a good (cheap) place to start. They'll help you acknowledge how it has affected your life and they'll provide real time, real people support. I guess I just wanted to say that I've been there and there are lots of options out there. You just have to dig around for them and find what works best for you. As for posting in here...I have no idea! lol I've only been popping into the living room for a couple of weeks!  So I don't know much about this room. My guess is that you would get a lot of support. My experience has been that during the times of dealing with my past experiences, my IBS flared up bigtime.....so.......it would seem you'd be able to at least bring up some things in here. But depending on the severity of the abuse, a therapist is the safest option available. I say that very seriously and respectfully because I know how rough it was for me at times. I wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for the therapist(s) I was seeing at the time(s) things got rough. (Read a lot into that statement...there's a lot there)  Check around...I'm sure there's something available where you live that would fit your needs. ok...I'm stopping now! lol
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Lyndsey
First i would like to tell that you are not alone in you these experiences and it is very brave of you to step out and seek advice. It shows you are ready for healing. Many of us have walked in your very shoes, though we've dealt with it in many different ways.
From the psychological standpoint i think all would agree it would be best to seek the help of a trained professional. I would say its a must unless you want this to haunt you for the rest of your life.
From a physical standpoint...do the same. The sooner you begin to discuss the issues with someone and sorta spit it all out the better. I'm not saying "wallow" in it forever...im afraid i made that mistake.
For me the reall healing began when I sought spiritual counseling on the matter. A dear friend led me to the book
Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer I would definitely read it after you have begun your counseling. If you truly want to be FREE seek spiritual healing too.
PS: Helpful website: http://www.rainn.org/
Good Luck and I'll pray for you.
God Bless
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I say if you feel comfortable enough talking it out with us, do it. If people don't want to read it they don't have to. The important thing is talking it out with someone. It seems to me a lot of people with IBS have had a lot of issues with other things that they may be able to advise you. If not at least you can vent. That is a powerful healer, just getting it out in the open.
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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I might not be able to help, but it doesn't bother me in the least if you post about it.
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Lyndsey
#235004 - 01/01/06 12:18 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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It's totally okay by me to discuss this. Frankly, I think it's an important issue and one that we can maybe help you with (although you really do need to see a therapist).
When I was a little girl, it was a totally different generation. I approached my mother about a friend abusing me; this is exactly her reaction: "You're gonna have to learn that that is simply what females have to tolerate." I was on my own with it; no one was gonna help me. I fought the abuse my entire childhood, by myself.
But thankfully times have changed. Abuse is wrong (and so was my mother); it is NOT what "females have to deal with." We're here, and we'll help you. Talk to us.
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Lyndsey,
#235088 - 01/01/06 09:09 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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I am happy to hear all and any of it. I'm a victim of phsyical and verbal abuse from both my father and ex-stepfather, and my mother neglected me, not grossly, but it was neglect.
I was also date raped once or twice.
it's a whole lot to deal with alone and even after three therapy sessions, it's made a lifetime of difference for me.
Tlak your heart out, and if you want to email me I'll let you know how to contact me.
From another survivor, and theres a helluva lot of us out there. 
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Re: Lyndsey,
#235143 - 01/02/06 09:36 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Yes, I agree. If you are comfortable enough to talk about it, please do. Personally, I've only had a little mental abuse when I was a child but was in a terrible mental and physically abusive relationship in my 20's. I know there are others here who have also suffered abuse and it has been discussed a bit before.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Lyndsey
#235303 - 01/02/06 11:00 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi Lyndsey,
First of all, I want to offer you an apology because in the past there have been several of your posts that I wanted to respond to but I was all caught up in my own stuff and didn't get a chance. I wanted to let you know that I know you've had a rough time as of late, on the boards too, and I have never been offended or made uncomfortable by any of your posts.
If you have things you need to discuss and get support for - especially sensitive issues - I think you are more than welcome than to post them here. I also think that it was very considerate of you to let us know what you wanted to post about and clear it first.
There have been many other people on the boards who post about sensitive issues, one particular who has posted numerous times about similiar abuse and everyone has been very supportive so you should be able to find similar support as well.
Good luck, know that we're here for you.
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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That the people here care and are open to discuss just about anything. I know sometimes issues have been touchy - if you ever worry you MIGHT offend/upset someone, maybe just put in subject line "sensitive info" or something like that. I've done that before. Many of us here have had to deal with childhood abuses as adults, if you feel like hashing that out I think you SHOULD... I'll pray you can sort this out, it is a tough process.
HUGS
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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She always says exactly what I'm thinking but she is much more of a wordsmith, !
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Keep on keepin' on...
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