Trying to be honest about family relationships....
#234621 - 12/30/05 11:43 AM
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bamagirl
Reged: 04/02/04
Posts: 1407
Loc: Alabama
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Excuse my vent, but I'm sitting here with my stomach in knots trying to mentally prepare for tomorrow's "family" event with my in-laws. I want to think I have good in-laws as a whole. My MIL is a gem, but even my husband doesn't like them most of the time, so WHY do I feel compelled to try and help everyone get along?!
My FIL is just a jerk - plain and simple and makes everygthing difficult. My SIL is argumentative and bossy and very petty and jealous over everything said/done during any of her visits. When you add in an uncle who apparently despises my husband and picks a fight with him every time they are in the same room...well, you can see why I'm dreading tomorrow.
This is a get-together we have purposely not attended for the past two years because of how ugly and hurtful the uncle was to my DH. Now, after 3 years, MIL is going to host the event in hopes that it will be "neutral" territory for everyone. I DREAD TOMORROW!!!!
Thanks for listening! If we don't get along, we don't get along and might as well quit trying to get along. This southern hospitality and tradition is the pits when everyone is soooo disagreeable!
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God is Faithful!
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Sorry!! I know you you feel. I have issues with a few family members too. It's no fun at all! Good luck to you and your's tomorrow!
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Kiwi
IBS-C
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I'm trying to psych myself up to be pleasant and cheerful on Sunday, when we go up north to visit Adam's mother. She's a good person at heart - I mean, she raised my wonderful boyfriend, so she MUST be - but even he doesn't like to be around her for very long, and if I really had my way, I'd never go up there to see her at all. EVER.
Good luck.  Sometimes, family just stinks.
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Sorry for whining. I've tried so hard to be pleasant and helpful...I even cooked supper for everyone (8 folks) after working all day earlier this week. I guess I'm just tired of working so hard to be nice. One more day won't kill me and then we'll be finished until next year. Thank goodness it is only once a year! It is killing my stomach!!
You guys are the best!!
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God is Faithful!
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Chat with your MIL and don't give a flying hoot of attention to the rest of them. Don't try to force conversation. Make yourself as comfortable as possible, stick close to hubby and MIL and hope for the best. I always find that in difficult situations like this, the less said the better. That way I don't get myself into trouble with something I've said.
You've done your part. Make peace with it, and let it go. It's out of your control how they behave, so focus on yourself. Hugs, I'll be thinking of you.
PS - if it gets really bad, leave RIGHT after dinner. You don't have to put up with hurtful behaviour. Hug your MIL and quietly leave.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Lots of deep breaths and the mantra: "It's only once a year!" It doesn't change that I'm tired of being nice but feeling awkward, but it does keep it in perspective a little.
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I totally know how you feel. Nothing like family to get you stirred up, except for inlaws which are worse! We visited my in-laws last weekend and I felt so sick afterwards.
Its not worth it! (Getting sick that is.) Do your best to state your mind rather than swallow your thoughts like I tend to do. (AND They don't agree with my stomach!)
Dan
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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