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I voted yes initially, but now I wish I would have voted no. I think Heather was right in the first place to disable it.
I am also very unhappy about the whole porn discussion -- because it triggered posts mentioning we have "very young posters". Maybe we do -- but these boards are not designed to be boards for kids. The majority of us are adults with IBS, and adults with IBS are bound to have problems that might not be the best viewing material for children. The living room was designed to be off-topic-land and a LOT of us use it for a place to get advice when our usual resources aren't satisfactory. A lot of us are intensely isolated because of our IBS and, sad and pathetic as it may seem, may not have any friends we know well enough to ask some of the questions that many of us ask on the boards.
Teenagers are old enough that they have seen and heard stuff FAR worse than you'll ever find on these boards. Kids who are younger -- well -- their parents had better be supervising their Internet activity, and it is up to the parents to decide if the site has appropriate content.
I am struggling with endometriosis, a gynecological condition, and I've posted a lot of "embarrassing female stuff" that might be argued as inappropriate viewing for a 9-year-old. Well, I'm sorry, but these boards do not cater to 9-year-olds. If you are 9, your parents should be screening what you look at, and your parents should decide whether or not they are comfortable with their kids reading the kind of posts that get generated here. It's not like any of us are posting sexually explicit descriptions of what we did last night!!! (But maybe because most of us spent last night on the couch in sweatpants watching "Desperate Housewives.")
I LOVE the living room. It keeps me sane. I have no friends right now. Yes, this makes me sad and pathetic, but being so sick has kept me completely isolated -- I don't have the time/energy to join a club or anything to make new friends, and I've lost the few friends I did have because they haven't cared enough to stick around through the bad times. I don't want to get to the point where I can't post about my problems because someone might get offended. And I don't want to do the PM thing, because I am totally insecure and thinks that no one really likes me and I would not impose upon anyone by PM'ing them with a question. With posts you know that someone is responding because (s)he genuinely WANTS to.
Anyway, I like the LR just the way it is, and I don't want it changed. I want to hear what EVERYONE has to say, even if I may ultimately disagree with it. I skip over stuff I don't want to read, and if I start finding myself irritated with something, I back off and go to another thread. Years of being a liberal in my husband's ultra-conservative family has taught me to try to keep my mouth shut when possible.
OK, anyway, that's what I think. If it matters. Which probably it doesn't. But I wish I had voted no. So if you haven't voted, vote no for me to cancel out my yes!!
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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I agree 100% with you Jen, however, I voted yes and I'm a little confused as to why you changed your mind now? We still have the option of posting like we normally do on the living room site or we have the option of doing it privately. What's it matter at this point? I'm looking at it as someone else had said, the people that will be PMing are more than likely the ones who spend time with each other outside of the IBS board via email or whatever. I don't intend on getting many PM's. There have been one or two that I've gotten to know a tiny bit so far outside of the IBS boards. I just think that it's a option for whoever wants to talk "outside of the box". If they want to do that then let them. Of course they could email each other too if both emails are available. I don't list my email, however, I've given it out 1 or 2 times. That's it. Why? Who knows. Paranoid? Maybe but I'd just like to keep it how it is for me now and I really don't think the PM will affect me.
Maybe I'm missing something? 
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Jen...
#232312 - 12/17/05 07:30 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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maybe you could email Heather and ask her to change your vote. I'm sure she could do it for you.
You can email her at Help@HelpForIBS.com
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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If Private Messaging IS enabled, I'd very much like to see some stats on the number of posts per Board before and after. I think that's the only way we're really going to know if PMing is pulling interactions off the Boards. Otherwise, we're just going to have people "feeling" like it is or it isn't. I'm awfully fond of facts myself and would rather squabble about what the facts mean than about what the facts are. (Sorry, Heather, I know this is just one more thing, but I'm hoping that info is already being tracked somewhere.)
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Lisa
#232354 - 12/18/05 08:27 AM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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I just worry that PMs WILL take away from the boards. As will the fuss and muss -- i.e. now if Heather does enable PMs people will worry about posting stuff and if they should really just do PMs instead. Or people will think, oh, no one else is interested in this, I should just send a PM to a couple people, when it's something that others WILL be interested in. Or if it's an "iffy" topic and you feel like you are obligated to do PMs instead of posting, only (like me) you feel like you shouldn't be imposing upon others that way, so you never end up getting the advice you wanted.
Quite possible enabling private messaging will do nothing to the Boards. And on occasion there have been times when I would have liked to say something but didn't want to post it. But, if I REALLY wanted to say it, I can always just post asking someone to email me (if she doesn't have an address in her profile). So I am not really sure there is ultimately anything to gain by it.
Guess we could always try it out and then it can get disabled again if there do end up being problems.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Hosting sites is not cheap. And, being a professional computer geek, I know that adding any kind of functionality on a server is bound to increase CPU, memory, and disk usage. Sometimes it's negligible, sometimes it's a lot. Not sure about private messaging.
If anyone remembers -- for a Christmas gift to HEATHER, who has helped us out so much, go to the shopping section of the site and buy one or more quantity of the "support this site". I haven't done it yet, but I intend to. It is only $10. Most of us can come up with $10 by cutting out a couple non-essential grocery items (a pound of extra-lean ground turkey is $5, soy ice cream is usually around $3.50 -- come on, guys, you can do it). I don't know about everyone else, but I would have been so lost without all of the support I've gotten here, even back when I was a non-participating lurker.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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I guess I'm just looking at it as if you want to say something to someone privately just do it via email. I think most people are willing to give it then delete it so it's not up all the time. For instance, Michelle and I somehow got to talking about real estate appraising one time in a thread about who knows what so we deciding to exchange emails cause it was getting lenthly and probably no one wanted to read about it since it was taking up so much room on whatever topic it started out as.
I feel the same way you do though. I don't mind ANY topic that is posted. Controversial(politics, religion, whatever). If I feel strongly about something I'm reading, I'll post about it. If it doesn't pertain to me or I don't know enough about it, I just read and keep out. I'm not sure why other people can't just do that but, whatever, everyone's different.
I can pretty much guarantee that the PMing will mostly be about someone else talking about someone else on the boards. Don't ya think? Why else would someone use it? If you have nothing to hide then post it where everyone can read it.
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~~~Lisa~~~
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IBS-D. Hiatal Hernia, GERD
Unstable
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Quote:
I can pretty much guarantee that the PMing will mostly be about someone else talking about someone else on the boards. Don't ya think? Why else would someone use it? If you have nothing to hide then post it where everyone can read it.
I understand this concern Lisa, however I don't think it's entirely fair.
I've been debating writing this or not, but in my case I posted for several years before growing increasingly uncomfortable with the overall attitude and environment here. Although I don't feel I could participate in the larger community ever again, and I don't flatter myself that the larger community is really missing my presence, I would like to be able to respond to particular topics, ask questions on the diet board, etc.
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