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People all together are different. I mean, it is good to have a variety of viewpoints on this subject. I just did not like this subject being so one-sided and since I am the only dude on the boards at the moment, I felt I should speak out. Men watch porn in various forms, whether it is a movie on Cinemax at 11pm or a PPV movie. Don't think your man doesn't sneak a peek at a mag, a movie, a Victoria's Secret show, or a Sports Illustrated issue every now and then. Get over it. Don't think your man is holier than thou. He is a man.
Now, if he is doing it all the time and has lost interest in you, then that is a HUGE problem. And addictons in any form are a problem. But these are different issues than what I described above.
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I see both ends of this.
Porn can be fun. I watched porn with my ex before (my suggestion) and made it into a mutual experience.
Yes, most guys look at porn. It doesn't bother me entirely when i am with a guy, but it does hurt the self esteem alittle. I think more along the lines of, igf you are doing it without including me, don't let me know , OR fiund it!
I did get upset over it once. My long term bf at the time told me out of nowhere, off topic in conversation, that he threw out and deleted all his porn that day. I was like Wow! Why? He said he didn't feel like he needed it anymore, and that made me happy with myself.
A month or so later I was on his computer and wanted to pull up a goody photo I made on it of him in photoshop. HE told me to click on a file that was nasty slut looking girl naked. VERY embarassing. HE looked very embarrased. I asked him why he offered up info that he got rid of it, when he clearly didnt, and he told me "well, remember that rough time we went through when we were fighting alot...?"
That HURT bad. But, I got over it.
I have a theory, lyndsey, on why he doesn't want these "sexapades" with you and looks at dirty porn.
He might, possibly, have RESPECT for you. He holds you in high regard and doesn't want to demean you into being his "dirty girl", and maybe he is afraid that will shatter his image of the sweet mother of his child figure he loves. I am not saying things should be 'dull' (if they are)... nbut maybe there is a way to talk this out, but he seems very noncompliant with being open and honest with his feelings in such an uncomfortable topic, so maybe cousneling is a good idea,cause it does appear that there are other issues.
Maybe I am crazy, I haven't been on the boards for awhile, but weren't you having issues with him before?
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-Sheri
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I'm going to email Heather and ask her to lock this post or delete it. No offense, Lyndsey, but I don't think this is appropriate for a public message board. We do have members who are quite young and shouldn't be viewing this stuff... and others who are offended by it, and by the ensuing discussion, and are leaving the boards.
Heather has asked in the past that the Living Room (and the other boards!) remain FREE of controversial topics, and I'm going to have to ask that everyone respect that. Thanks.
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I'm no prude but it's much appreciated. I've oftn felt her posts weren't appropriate. thanks
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Everything in life happens for a reason, patience will eventually tell us what that is......
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no problem Casey... I was thinking about this while at the gym...this really was NOT the site for posting about it....{{slapping myself...bad Shell!!}} subject is closed by me 
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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...There are so many things that people can find offensive (remember me damning migraines to hell?  ).
I think if we're going to have this place as a support network but there are going to be so many things that are taboo (religion, politics, sex, swearing.......) then Heather is going to have to reinstate private messaging. I understand why she got rid of it but I also understand that for alot of people this is the only place they can get advice on issues in their lives.
The only problem I've EVER had with people on these boards (apart from the whole annoying Volatile thingy) is when people are bigoted and closed-minded and incapable of backing away from a subject. If you don't like a subject, you don't have to read about it. There have been plenty of threads on here that made me upset or mad, but I just don't read them!
I'll talk to Heather... 
Btw, I think it sucks WAY more that Tommy is leaving the boards because he doesn't feel he can express his liberal views and male viewpoints than that people leave the boards because they cant handle people talking about their lives! I repeat, if you don;t like a subject, don't read the messages!
Okay, stepping off my soapbox now.
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I agree Casey. I think this has got out of hand and the fact that Tommy is now leaving because of it disturbs me. I might leave too. These boards have changed so much and I'm afraid it's for the worse. People seem to be so judgemnetal and not AT ALL open-minded. This doesn't apply to this topic only but in general.
LIGHTEN UP PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
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Personally, I don't find this topic offensive at all. (Hey, I *like* porn! Haha.) And in a perfect world, people WOULD just not read the posts they don't like - which is why I didn't comment on this thread sooner than I did, because I was hoping there wouldn't be any of the drama going on, and as soon as I saw people leaving, I figured I'd better step in and say something.
I think I misunderstood, though - I thought Tommy was leaving as a result of this thread too. I didn't read all the replies; again, exercising my choice to NOT read something that bugs me. 
I wish everyone could handle things like you and I, Linz, but... well, ya know how it goes.
I totally wish Heather would reinstate private messaging. I really think it would solve a lot more problems than it would create.
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I had no idea until I logged on this morning that I might have unintentionally fueled a negative string of posts. I'm perfectly happy being the oddball for my opinions (here AND among my friends), and I certainly don't condemn people for their personal choices. (If I did, I'd condemn a lot of my closest friends, and I certainly don't!) I guess what I should have said is: My husband respects my views on the topic. And just let the "extent" of my views remain unexplained. I don't get offended by people with opposing opinions expressing themselves, so I guess I forget sometimes that my own opinions might put others off. Sorry, I guess I'll keep my big mouth shut in the future.
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Chill Ginger!
#231479 - 12/14/05 08:18 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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You have the right to express an opinion and you don't seem to be saying that anyone else doesn;t so don't worry! It's only when people take it all too seriously that it's a problem.
Input is always good. You don't have to be critical of others to state your own view.
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