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that is great that you are willing to make tapes, pose etc...but the "fantasy" is not there....do you understand.... he already HAS YOU... he knows your hot!! And... I'm sure he is thinking... (hey, if another guys gets his hands on these tapes or pics.... that is not cool... she is mine) You have to look at it both ways... does that make sense?
-------------------- www.facebook.com/shell.marr
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a couple's counselor? I am not going to get inot the whole porn thing. But it sounds like this is much bigger than him going to a porn website. Just my 2 cents as well.
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You could always tell him to cut it out or you'll cut it off.
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he said that i got the site from howard stern...i said i believed him...but why can't he do stuff i want to do? because i don't believe his excuse all the way...so he said why did you go on my profile? i said becuase i wanted to see if you were tryig to see what i was getting you...becuase he knew i was getting something online, and we have a joint account..so then he said he thinks i was looking for what he got me, i said i didn't even think he'd been looking, so no..thats not what i was doing (and i wasn't, because i truely don't believe he's getting me anything..lol..there is reason to that though) so he said "well whatever you got me, take it back i don't want it" and has turned it all on me..what the hell? i even said i didn't care, if he did do stuff that i wanted (as far as pics and tapes etc) then said i have always had a fantacy for doing it on a train (i don't know why) and he goes "have fun" i was like..this is why i don't share...i've tried, and you turn it into a nothing...so now he wants me to take the gifts i've gotten back...and blew off what i've said before that i want in the bedroom, or wherever else..lol...which is why i don't really express what i want in that way...and i've told him that too...uhg, he's irritating me today...
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1) he is upset about one thing right now and is focussing on that one thing...(that you looked at his stuff), no mater what your reason.
2) don't return the gifts...unless you don't plan on being with him. you bought them for a reason...
3) drop it for now....let things cool off
4) get a couples counselor... you guys NEED to talk things out with a pro... you have a baby on the way, you should do everything you can to not bring him/her into a relationship like this.
-------------------- www.facebook.com/shell.marr
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I am the type that does not tolerate that kind of BS. I broke up with my Ex-Fiance because I found out that when I left for one freaking week to go to visit my family in Illinois, he was ordering Porn on TV. THANK GOD, we didn't have a computer then. There was no internet, then. Man, I'm old!! Anyway, I found magazines in his car and everthing.
I confronted him about the $300 DOLLAR FREAKING cable bill and he didn't have anything to say because he KNEW that he had been busted and I kicked him out THAT DAY!
So, hon......I don't have any rational advice for you because I have ZERO TOLERANCE for that mess. I just don't have time to deal with men in my life that feel the need to have that SH!T!! They obviously DON'T NEED ME!!
GOOD LUCK!!
Michelle
-------------------- IBS-D. Hiatal Hernia, GERD
Unstable
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that you need to seriously talk with him! I'm sure you already knew that, but it seems like your communication is suffering. He's hiding stuff, you find it and get mad, he hides even more, and it turns into a vicious cycle. (I have been stuck in vicious cycles before--they suck.)
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From what I've read here, AND heard from other people. I don't know why, but if I found stuff like that on our computer at home, I'd feel betrayed. I know fantasy exists, but I'd prefer for it exist in the mind and not on the computer for $9.99/mo. My husband SAYS he's not attracted to that kind of stuff, and I think, after 8 years, I actually believe it. So I don't worry, and he's never given me cause to worry before. But I'd probably make it into a huge deal if it happened. And believe me---I'm not a prude!!
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Couples counselling is GREAT. You guys obviously have some issues and have trouble communicating and it can really help. We're going to our next session tomorrow - can't wait!
Hehe, Lyndsey, you are making me laugh! I totally get your attitude. Porn can be fun, but he shouldn't be lying about it. And that sounds like an AWFUL site anyway.
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