We'll I've made it to Saturday
#230610 - 12/10/05 01:56 PM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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One day at a time right. I slept most of the afternoon yesterday after the funeral. Will made me eat a little something and I went back to bed. I woke up at 5:30 this am crying and having a hard time so I took another Xanax and slept for a couple more hours. Thank goodness for american pharmaceuticals! LOL!
I'm having a lot of abdominal pain and cramping. I literally feel empty inside. I believe the pain I'm having is my uterus shrinking back down. It was actually about the size of a 18 week gestation and without labor, I imagine its going to take some time to reach its normal size.
I'm trying to take comfort in the small things like my kitties playing and being silly. Like my hubby being so wonderful and all the outpouring of love I have received. I'm still hurting and I'm sure that once I ease up on the tranquillizer that I'm going to have some pretty bad days but for now, even the dr's agree it best to take them. I have an appt with my shrink Tuesday night after work and I imagine I'll start seeing her a little more frequently for a while.
I still haven't felt up to going anywhere or doing anything, other then the funeral. My pj's have been my attire for days now and I think I forget where my hairbrush is but I think thats all ok too for now. I do have to manage to get myself to work Monday. We won't have patients until Tuesday and I'll be alone in the office Monday but I'll have my computer so I can talk to you all.
I'm trying very hard to find my way back to some sense of normalcy but at least I have another day or so before having to venture out in the real world. I don't know whats going to happen from here. I will talk with the dr's some more but it very well might be time to consider what kind of fund raisers I can do to raise money for adoption. Its just too much for me to figure out right now.
Ok, so thats where I'm at right now. I will try to catch up with everyone else's post next week but for now I just want to say again how much I appreciate everyone. I've have received more phone calls, posts and emails that I had imagined possible. It truly has kept me going and brought me much hope and light during this dark time.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Hey there
#230613 - 12/10/05 02:08 PM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Michele you are such a sweetheart to find the grace to compliment everybody even as you're going through this terrible tragedy! I really enjoyed talking to you the other afternoon. I took some vicodin earlier so feel free to call me if you want to have a nice drugged out conversation-- we can watch the pink elephants float across the room together and compare notes. 
~nelly~
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You know that I have "been there" and it there are no words to express the grief and disappointment that you are going through. One day at a time is all you should expect of yourself right now...put one foot in front of the other.
I am praying for you!
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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At least you can see that it's ok to be in your PJ's and not brush your hair! You are allowed to do whatever you darn well please and no one can say a word!!!!!
Hang in there and time will heal your pain. Day by day it should get just a teeny bit easier 
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~~~Lisa~~~
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You need to take however much time to need. And you're right to look for the joy in little things like Will and your kitties. And there's no guilt and trying to be happy even though things are so sad.
Keep up the good work and just rest and do whatever you need to feel better. We're all here for you all the time. And make sure you tell Will that he's in our thoughts too.
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Puppies Are Cute But I'm Cuter
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Hi there.
One day at a time is right. It sounds like you are allowing yourself time to grieve, which is the right thing to do. Just do what seems right and healthy, Michele.
Hugs! We're all here.
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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I can't imagine what you're feeling day to day but I think of you EVERY day and pray that you'll be given grace and strength and comfort. Hang in there and know you're being lifted up!!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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