as if IBS weren't enough
#226956 - 11/23/05 09:17 PM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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After FINALLY seeing a gynecologist today, I've been tentatively diagnosed with endometriosis. Yeah, so, I guess that during a vaginal exam, it isn't normal to scream and jump two feet in the air.
"tentative" because the doctor put it at 90%. I think he's just giving himself some wiggle room because he's positive enough that he wants to treat it. He presented a couple options and I need to decide what to do. At this point I think I am going to do the laparoscopy before trying any of the hormonal treatments. Mainly this is because I'm still sort of hoping I don't really have it and that the laparoscopy will show I'm fine. Of course, the doctor said even with the lap it's very easy to miss endo because it can be microscopic or just plain hard to see.
I also was diagnosed with vestibulitis. UGH. And also, hello, how could this have been missed?? I mean, I've been complaining about this for the LAST FIVE YEARS at every pelvic exam.
I have an ultrasound next week because the doctor thinks that though the horrid blood/cramping stuff could be endo-related that it's possible it's fibroids. He said that these attacks I have sounds like my uterus is trying to get rid of a fibroid. Or something like that. I forget exactly what he said but I do know it made me wince and grab my abdomen.
The good news, I guess, is that my ovaries didn't hurt. This does not mean they aren't disease-ridden, but, hey, whatever.
Anyway. Very bummed about this.  It's almost December. I was supposed to be trying to get pregnant in another month. I know endo doesn't necessarily mean infertility, but at the same time, I can't imagine trying to get pregnant in the state I'm in now. I worry sometimes about what the meds are doing to my own body, let alone a baby's! 
So. I did some eyeball-leaking earlier, but I'm a little better. I was really depressed so I decided, the hell with the bread and water diet, I have four days off and I am going to totally indulge!!!! I dithered around and finally ended up buying some fat-free Cool Whip (bad stuff: HFCS and caseinate) to put on my low-fat brownies. God, I am so lame. I can't even cheat right. I also hunted around for something nice to wear to bed, and found some sexy camisoles for only $3 on clearance, but then I thought, well, I don't have anything to match on the bottom, and a sexy camisole will look dumb with Looney Tunes boxer shorts.
Oh well. Guess I'll get through it somehow. Sometimes it just sucks to be a girl.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Hey not MAJORLY cheating is GOOD!!!!  And what colour is the cami? I often buy nice cami's and bras and then get regular cotton panties in the same colour so they kinda go.  And a cami for $3 is a great bargain! 
I would really suggest that you try and get some counselling right now. I've been doing it recently and it's been so cool...I can't believe I never did it before - would have saved me alot of grief! I don't what it's like with you, but over here it's not THAT expensive (50 pounds per session). A course of anti-depressants might help too - they can really help you cope better with this &^%$! And yes, sometimes being a girl totally sucks! 
I'd also suggest you make an appointment with your OBGYN sometime soon to JUST discuss getting pg and how this might affect things. Things are never as bleak as it seems and right now I'd say the only thing you really need to get under control prefereably before becoming pg is the (not unsurprising) depression.
{{{hugs}}}
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I'm with you that it sucks to be a girl sometimes!!! I have a Bartholean Cyst that I've been battling with about as long as the battle with IBS & it's difficult. And usually when one flares up, the other one does the same. I'd like to say to my body: One problem at a time, please!!
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-shelley
take it one day at a time.
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Aw Jen...
#226990 - 11/24/05 07:18 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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At least you have a diagnosis, right? {{{{{HUGS}}}}} I have endo too and the doc told me that usually pregnancy will completely turn it around! (Actually, he said "The best cure is to get pregnent. People usually don't have it after that")
Plenty of people with endo get preggers, so don't stress about that! You've already figured out what works best for you around that time when you're feeling your worst, whether it's heating pads, fasting with water, eating chocolate pudding, taking aspirin to thin the blood, whatever...
Go demand some sympathy from your sig oth/family, and let your eyeballs leak as much as they have to!!! Lots of love,
~nelly~
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The Best Medicine
#227002 - 11/24/05 08:03 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Jen, first of all, let me say I'm sorry you're going through all this crap. Yes, it DOES "suck" being a girl. Tell me about it! When I was conceived, I was a male. True story. Unfortunately, I rejected the testosterone -- even as a tiny little fetus I wanted nothin' to do with that stuff! -- so that by the time I was born I popped out a female. I've been fighting the damn hormones ever since!
No kidding -- I've been on hormone replacement therapy since I was 13. They were DETERMINED I was gonna be a female! Hormones really and truly DO "suck."
So, I understand where you're coming from. I'm sorry.
Now, having said that, Girl, you're gonna win this battle because of your FANTASTIC outlook! What a great sense of humor you have! I LOVE this:
Quote:
I dithered around and finally ended up buying some fat-free Cool Whip (bad stuff: HFCS and caseinate). . . God, I am so lame. I can't even cheat right. I also hunted around . . . found some sexy camisoles . . . but then . . . I don't have anything to match on the bottom, and a sexy camisole will look dumb with Looney Tunes boxer shorts.
Keep laughing. I guarantee you, it'll help you through a lot of life's tragedies. Truly, it IS the best medicine.
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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IBS-D. Hiatal Hernia, GERD
Unstable
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Yeah, a sense of humor is pretty vital. I'm not sure where I would be without it. Boring AND insane, probably.
Although, when I saw the subject about the best medicine, I figured you were going to be encouraging me to go get a bottle of Jack.
Your situation sounds tough -- I can't even imagine going through the hormone replacement stuff at 13! 13 is a bad enough age as it is.  (Sometimes I wish I were a kid again, and then I remember puberty, and I decide I REALLY LIKE worrying about mortgage rates and the propane tank level.) No matter what ends up being wrong with me, it sounds like I'm probably going to have to have at least some kind of hormone treatment. Did the HRT basically put you into a menopausal state? That's what the gyno is recommending for me right now.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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They actually had three different color camis. Blue, lavendar, and beige. But I always wear boxers in the summer and sweatpants in the winter so I'd feel super-silly wearing this clingy lacy camisole with my navy-blue cotton boxers. Although maybe for a self-confidence boost I need to overhaul my sleep/loungewear. It's pretty easy to feel like a crummy old rag when you're wearing brillo-green sweatpants and a ratty T-shirt with chocolate stains.
I think you're dead-on about the therapy, but I'm hesitant to go do it. Not sure why, exactly. I'm sure there is some screwed-up reason for it, and just another reason why I need to go. I'm switching insurance at the beginning of the year so maybe at that point I'll go. I sort of like to work things out internally. I do feel better when I talk to someone, but it's only a sort of superficial feeling better. Sort of like tossing a new tablecloth onto an old table that really ought to be sanded down and restained. OK, so, that is sort of a bad analogy in terms of emotions, because I don't think anyone wants her psyche scrubbed and stained. Anyway. You're right. I should look into it.
I don't want to do the AD thing. I tried Elavil for my IBS and I HATED the effect it had on me. I don't want to take anything that messes with my mind unless it's really really necessary. Plus, I am actually not that depressed -- in a clinical sense, I mean. Just your normal sad/angry/mixed-up sort of emotions you get when you're down. I think ADs can be great and even life-savers for people, but at this point in my life I don't think they are really going to help me.
OK, so now I am off to eat my Cool Whip. 
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Nelly?
#227038 - 11/24/05 11:35 AM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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In a response to an earlier post of mine, you mentioned that for you the laparoscopy wasn't an option for you (OK, so I think you expressed it in more interesting dramatic terms, but I can't remember what now). Is this just personal preference or have you heard of bad stuff in relation to this? I would much rather try the lap first before the hormone treatments, which from my reading sound sort of horrible.
I know that lots of women with endo DO get pregnant, so I am going to stay optimistic. I guess my concern is that if my current problems are all due to endo, then I'm in no shape to get pregnant unless they can treat it first. So that's another reason why I am pretty down, because I'll be worrying about stupid endo treatment at a point where I thought I was going to be thinking about nothing but trying to get pregnant.
I'm actually pretty upbeat right now. But, I have to admit, this is probably more because my mind has hit the "denial" button and I'm pretending I don't really have it. It's funny, I kept thinking there HAD to be something else in addition to the IBS, since I just couldn't get stable, but now that there IS something else going on, I'm trying to deny it. I guess maybe I was hoping it was a tapeworm or something. Parasites are so much more glamorous than uterine misbehavior.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Quote:
I also hunted around for something nice to wear to bed, and found some sexy camisoles for only $3 on clearance, but then I thought, well, I don't have anything to match on the bottom, and a sexy camisole will look dumb with Looney Tunes boxer shorts.
Oh, I dunno... some guys my find that interesting. 
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Jonna, IBS-D
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I'm not really familiar with endo or vestibulitis. If this is causing the pain and spasms, can I do something to help you? That could be a good thing if they found out the reason for your cramps.
I hope you can come to some peace and resolution with all this. Please keep us updated and know that I am praying for you, sweetie.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Jen, I LOVE your sense of humor! You're right; Jack would have been a good option.
I was born with testicles where most women have ovaries. Like all females born with my condition ("AIS"), I had to have my testicles removed (they become cancerous if they remain inside the body). However, once removed, I was thrown into a VIOLENT menopause; it was absolutely HORRIBLE. I was inconsolable, crying non-stop for no reason, and become suicidal at one point.
I do not believe "forced menopause" occurs unless the ovaries -- BOTH of them -- are surgically removed. That would be my concern. No, the HRT did not put me in a menopausal state, not at all; like I said, I've been on it for 48 years now. Actually, they had to "up" my dose after my surgery, then when that didn't help, they put me on testosterone, then progesterone, then the patch, then the shots -- OY!
NOTHING WORKED! I had to just ride it out. When I came very close to throwing myself down the stairs, I went to the doc, who put me on Prozac and sent me to U.C.S.F. Medical Center for some serious help.
Don't be afraid of HRT; I'm proof that it works. If it wasn't for HRT, I'd be a male. And I'm not kidding.
Bet that Jack sounds pretty good right about now, eh?
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Aw Jen!
#227146 - 11/24/05 11:03 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hey Jen,
That is really rough, you are definitely going through a hard time right now and have every right to throw a big Pity Party any time you need one!
I agree with what Nelly said about at least having a diagnosis, though. At least you have a starting off point, so that's awesome. Like, when I have to go for tests I'm always like, ".. eh .." not impressed 'cause I know it won't show anything. If they could say, "ooh! found something!" that would be something.. well, depending on what they find! 
Anyway, I don't really know much about endo and I don't even know what vestibulitis is! But I really hope that now that they have discovered these things, they can start treating it and give you at least some relief.
I'm glad you managed a little food/retail therapy and are feeling better now. I happen to have seen posters of girls in lacy "sexy" tops and "boy bottoms" so I think that would be fine. And sweatpants! Sure thing with lacy tops. And for $3, I'd wear them with everything!
Well, even though I can handle Cool Whip, I'd be pretty ill if I had brownies so well done on the cheating!
Good luck with everything, and let us know how things are going!
Cheers,
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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