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Hi Lana....
I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your post. You are so good with advice for me. Being here at work I didn't have time to read your whole post til this morning while I am the only one in the room.
I understand what you are going through. My mom (although NOT hateful like yours) used to make me feel sooooo guilty for not doing holidays the way she wanted them once my husband and I got married (and even before when we were engaged). It still makes me nervous when holidays draw near and I have to decide how we are going to divide our time between our two families since they both live here in the same town. But, as we are together more years it becomes easier to say I'm going to do it the best we can and if it makes anyone upset they will just have to deal with it. It's still hard, though.
In your situation where your mom has been so hateful I would say that what is best for you is to have Christmas the way you want. Take your health into consideration and your relationship with your husband into consideration. Do what makes you happy. You know that you will only be miserable if you are around your mom at Christmastime, right? I know it's hard because she is your mom, but it's not worth it if it will make you miserable. Maybe if you don't see her at Christmas she might realize how her actions have hurt you. I know that's stretching it, but you never know.
I haven't had time to read everyone elses replys. I wish you the best!
{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
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Am sorry my reply to this is a bit late,am catching up with all the posts! I totally understand what you are going through.For me its the opposite,its keiths family that are "the problem",and like you i'm not used to airing things in public,last year they completely ruined his christmas day for various reasons,he has never had a close relationship with his parents,in all the years we've been together they have never sent him birthday card etc,never called,etc anyway he now doesn't communicate with them at all,and although at times it preys on his emotions,he has definetly made the right decision.Luckily my family have taken him on board as on of their own.So i really think if it causes so much emotion,hurt and unhappy memories,then you are doing the right thing.
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Morven 
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Hi Lana,
Sorry to hear about your troubles. Family is very interesting. In my case, if I don't call my mom or go to her house, I won't hear from her for months...and she lives 20 min from me. My brother and I thought it would get better once we had kids...we now have 2 kids each and it is still the same. She says, "We are the grandparents who don't see the kids much but give them nice gifts, he he he." It's pretty sad.
I saw some other posts suggesting you don't go at all and wondering what other alternates might be. My brother-in-law doesn't get along with his mom and on Christmas he takes the kids over to her house for a hour or two then comes home. I guess it depends on if she is going to bash you for the entire time you are there...maybe a short stay won't give her the opportunity. Be sure other family members are there too...if there is a lot of people, you can talk to them and indirectly avoid her. Then wish her a merry one, and be on your way.
These situations are very difficult, I have been there too. At one point in my life I was going to Florida every Christmas so I didn't have to have the event with either side of the family.
I wish you all the best:)
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As I was writing my post, I was so nervous that everyone would judge me (As I had previously stated). I never imagined that everyone would be so supportive and also have stories of their own.
My grandma always says "If you bear your soul, you will see others clearly" How true!
I wish to thank everyone so much!! You have truly touched my heart and made me realize that I am a good person and don't have to have "mean" people in my life.
It is amazing how many of you also share the same family trouble!! I want you all to know, you will be in my thoughts this Christmas. May you all be blessed and loved as you deserve!!!
Love,
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Lana....
First of all...CONGRATS on being prego... I had not read that anywhere yet.
Second... after reading what everyone else had to say...I really don't know what else to add.
So, I'm just gonna say... TAKE CARE YOU AND YOUR NEW FAMILY !!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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