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I am new to the boards but when I read your post, I can totally relate to your frustrations. I too have been trying to get pregnant for almost two years now, I have not done the injections or anything like that yet...only fertility pills but I am ready to give up too. I sometimes think it's because I'm too old (38), or it's not meant to be. I am tired of complaining also, feeling sick (if it's not side effects from the pills, it's IBS acting up), tired of the disappointments every month. I really don't think I am good advice right now...but I hurt with you, if possible.
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Hello and Welcome to the boards. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, I totally understand the heartbreak. Not sure which posts you have read but I did get pregnant last fall, with identical baby twins girls, only to go on to lose them at 3.5 months. That makes 5 babies lost in all. The twins would have been due June 16 and I'm still struggling, the hole in my heart and soul runs very deep. I can honestly say it has changed who I am as a person.
They finally did figure out what they believe to be the reason, I have RA (rheumatoid arthritis) although my ANA is still negative, they believe my body is "fighting off" the babies once I finally do get pregnant. I'm seeing a rheumy doc right now trying to get the RA under control, which hasn't been easy. The general consensus between the rheumy and the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) is that IF we can get the RA under control and IF I can get pregnant again, I'd have about a 40% chance of carrying the baby and I'd have to be on steroids and daily injections of blood thinner.
Time is also against me. I will be 36 in a couple of weeks and the rheumy says it will be 6-9 months before the Ra is under control enough to even think about trying again.
Its all very depressing and wears you down. Instead of holding my baby girls, I'm fighting for my health against a terrible and pianful disease. I've been through pretty much ALL the tests and all the drugs so if you like my opinion or just someone to talk to, I'm here. The board is pretty open and I've discussed all things fertility before but if you feel more comfortable talking more privately, feel free to email me at michelebrake@sbcglobal.net.
I haven't decided if we will try again or not. I guess it will depend on my health and if I think I could take another loss. I'd love to adopt but we just don't have the money. For now, this is my new baby! He goes everywhere with me!
Love and hugs!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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sorry ur having a hard time darling, ur dog is soooooo adorable.
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http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere
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Thanking of you Michelle. Wishing for the best....
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~jules
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Thanks girls. I have been struggling lately with the "baby thing" but I'm trying not to dwell on it. I'm not healthy enough right now to even try and although I long for a baby I have to start trying to come to terms with the possibility that it may not be an option for me. Thats a hard pill to swallow and I'm just trying to remember to take it one day at a time...
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I just want to say that you inspire strength. Thanks for being open and sharing your story.
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
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You are such a strong person. I wish I could give you a great big hug. You've been through so much and still you're there for people when they need you. Humans are much stronger than they think they are. We find out what we're made of when we get pushed farther than we even could have imagined existed. I hope and wish with all my heart that you are able to regain your health and have the life you want and so deserve. It's probably not worth much, considering how you would like things to be, but maybe it helps to know what an inspiration you are to people and how so many people care about you.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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I am new to the board and was reading your story. I have no advice for you because I do not have children and I am not at this time trying for kids. The only support I will offer is that I will pray for you and your husband.
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Stephanie 
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