Off to France and mad about it. LONG RANT
#214578 - 09/20/05 08:03 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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So it looks like I will be going to France to watch my aunt die. I'm not thrilled.
She's been fighting lung cancer in both lungs since March, and the prediction is dire. My mom wants to go to visit her and help out her mother, see her sister, etc., but aside from me being there for moral support for my mother, this is the type of thing that has me running screaming in the other direction. 
I've spent 3 months of every year from the ages of 4 to 24 in France helping out my family in one way or another. Yes, I feel priveledged. No, it was not fun. I am the youngest there by 30 years. They usually just talk around me, never to me, and their idea of making my life interesting was sticking me in fromt of the TV (think re-runs of the A-Team, in French), or giving me a fistful of francs and telling me to walk into town and amuse myself.
I dread France. 
I went 9 years ago with my DBF to introduce him to my family. Then I never went back. It was always the same thing, people complaining about their neighbors or geting old. Then they'd turn to me and yell at me about MY government and MY president. "You Americans are only good for ____" they'd say, and I'd just sit silently, getting drunk.
Well this SUCKS. My mother can go by herself! But nooooo! Not heeer! The way I found out about it was I was driving back from NY and she informed me that she was buying tickets for me and her. Originally I was slated to be there with her for a MONTH. Uh, yeah, a month with no air conditioning or access to proper meds or safe food? Don't think so. So I put my foot down.
The food situation is horrible. Cos we have to eat with our faaaaamily. The people who'd yell at me for being a "picky eater" for decades. Not a sympathetic crowd. 
OK, sorry for the rant. But I'll be stuck in the south of france with no money or purpose for 12 days, and I'm FREAKING out.
~nelly~
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Oh Nelly, what a crappy situation any way you look at it! I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt, thats got to be a hard thing to watch.
Personally, I've never been to France so have no ideas on things to keep you busy there. Definitely refill all meds before leaving, do you need to do anything special to get them through customs? I have no helpful suggestions on the food thing either. Boy, I'm just not much help at all, now am I??!!  
Anyways, just wanted to offer hugs and support!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Oh god, I hear ya. I would not like to be dragged anywhere either. I don't like that at all.
Can you come back before then? Oh gosh, it doesn't sound like fun at all and you cannot eat bad things as your ibs will get super bad. Does your mom know that you need to have a restricted diet for your health?
Big ((((HUGS))))).
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Thanks, michele
#214591 - 09/20/05 08:21 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Thanks, Michele. It's hard to get excited about this trip tho "any trip overseas" might seem cool to most. This might as well be a turkish prison for me.
I've been doing so much travelling lately (4 trips to NY, 1 to England, 1 to Ireland, 7 times to the Eastern shore) that I need some time to myself! Doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon, tho.
My mom's just called and told me I can spend some time with my cousins. Great, the same people who tried to touch me and have sex with me every year. Thrilling.
~nelly~
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My mom doesn't get it. She's always telling me "Put those pills away. A lady doesn't take pills at the table." Her family's just as bad. When I was 12, my older cousin wouldn't let her pregnant daughter near me. I yelled at her "F-in' scorceress!" as she puled her daughter away. Just because I had "food allergies."
I don't think I said a word besides that all that summer. Scared her good, though. I bet she didn't think I even knew how to say that in French. I can be mean, you know. I just reserve my mannars for nice people like here. Not people who are mean to me. Those people can just get away from me.
~nelly~ Like they say, Don't confuse kindness with weakness
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Sorry to hear about your aunt...
I really can't offer much help in the foods area as I've never been to France...so I can help you with ideas of what to do while your there either.
Any IBS'er on the boards that you can meet up with? Maybe they can share their safe food and drugs with ya? 
Anyways.... best of luck to ya... are you gonna be able to take the laptop?
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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...so I'm going to be off the boards for a while. Thanks Shell. You're right, anyone from France?
~nelly~ I get around
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French Food isn't great for our tummies is it? Load up on Luna Bars! Bless your heart....I hope that in someway you have a good time. Perhaps by meeting a hunky Frenchman that sweeps you off your feet?
Whoops...forgot about BF. Can he come too?
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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In accordance with Board regulations, I am not going to go into what I think about France. EMail me if you want my opinion. But as to the particular situation at hand, THAT S*CKS!!!!!! Oh Nelly, I feel awful for you. 12 days in a place where you don't even feel comfortable or welcoemd by those around you and to watch someone die... My heart goes out to you...
I agree with Tina, can you come back earlier?
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*HUGS*
#214621 - 09/20/05 09:08 AM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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I'm sorry, Nelly. Families suck sometimes! The Christmas before last, my father forced me to come home (threatened to cut me off his health insurance and to not cosign on my student loans) even though I hadn't been to work for 3 weeks because I had be having D and had been in so much pain! In fact, I'd had my colonoscopy the Friday before. He insisted I had to come home and go to the same doctor as my mom and my brother because my doctors in Philly must be doing something wrong. And I ended up having to pay for the doctor's visit. I ate nothing but French bread the entire time and was miserable.
Load up on French bread while you're there? Take Luna bars and pretzels and your own food, stash it in your room in a locked suitcase and don't eat anything at the table, eat in your room later? Insist your mom give you money while you're there if she's forcing you to go? I'm sorry you're in such a crappy situation!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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