|
|
I just wanted to jump in here...I'm not quite that bad yet with the OCD but I feel myself going down that road, and I definately suffer from SAD so I know it'll get worse soon. I feel so much better when I can get out in the summer for a short walk in the sun, I hate the winter!
Anyways, I've found the obsessive thinking getting worse (going over things 1000 times in my head) and handwashing and just being overly repetitive about things. I also seem to have a severe obsession with time...everything has to be on an exact schedule.
I'm not currently taking any meds for this becasue I refuse them, I take an anti-anxiety drug to keep me from going right off the deep end but nothing else...do you guys think it's possible to get through this with just therapy and no meds or am I being dumb?
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Kelly,
Personally, I'm intolerable without the meds. I cannot even stand myself without the meds. I truly believe that it's neurochemical--I know it is for me! I've been this way my whole entire life.
Indeed--it's a psychotrophic life. Somedays I feel like a goldfish. Eventually I get exaughsted enough and pass out for a REM cycle or two, only to awaken and do it all over and over and over again...a music box dancer.
If only someone could rewind the hands of time, reset the clock. There aren't enough minutes, seconds...
Confession: I can't even sit through a therapy session! That's how 'trapped' I feel--how strong the impulses are!
I'm having a low-self esteem night. Sorry; we had a big party here last night and I've been washing,disinfecting,cleaning everything obsessively. (Yes, before the cleaning lady comes only to have me pay her to do it! How warped can you get. If you saw my arms--how skinny they are from the washing...you'd be scared--they freak people out. ) I just popped some pills an hour ago, so maybe I'll squeeze in some down time. I'm just stir crazy.
I haven't been able to lose this creepy warped programming.
I only reprogram myself to another activity. I wonder who/what the choreographer is, sometimes.
It's something to do, to kill time is this nothing life. In a strange way, I hope my OCD/GAD kills me, i.e. wears me out.
Morbidly yours,
Kate.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Yeah, I'm starting to feel pretty "intolerable" and I think bf is starting to agree. Unless I'm taking large doses of Klonopin so I'm so sedated I just can't care about my obsessions, I'm a wreck. It's not good.
You're recovering from an ED right? Does the fact that a lot of the meds used to treat OCD can cause weight gain bother you? That's why I won't go on them...because in the past I've had extreme weight gain (40lbs even) from them, and I'm recovering from an ED now and have gotten to a good weight and don't want to put any on 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
My meds. have not caused me to gain an ounce!
Try buspar. Lately, it's so funny, but I have a heck of a time getting to 1000 calories. These meds. totally numb the appetite.
Mind you, 5 years ago, in my mid twenties, I normally barely weighed less than a hundred pounds. I just eat as much as I can/desire...
I'm no longer anorexic, but orthorexic. I'm more obsessed with the what...and the source of it, the 'properness' of prep., the cutlery...all the stupid details...when i take my pills, though...it's all null and void. The only foods that stay down are vegetables, so that's all I eat, now.
Here's a quick definition of orthorexia nervosa:
--it's a tern coined by Stephen Bratman, M.D. to describe a 'pathological fixation' on eatin 'proper' or 'pre' or 'superior' food
--it is an obsission over what to eat, how much to eat, how to prepare food 'properly', and where to obtain 'pre' and 'proper' food.
It's so funny. On these pills, the rules of the game are less rigid and I can squeeze in a smile or two.
(don't mind me--I'm taking a sleeping intermission. I am one of those people that wake up and do ritual 'checking'--the door thing, tonight)(I need some cold air/nightmares!)
Kate.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Effexor is an excellent AD for OCD and anxiety. It is one of the very few that don't cause weight gain. It really does sound like you have OCD too. Try ocdfoundation.org - I think they even have online tests you can take.
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
It sounds like to me that the meds aren't strong enough for you. When was the last time you saw your Doc? Are you working right now? Are you in CBT? I have found that helpful. Torturous, but helpful. Not trying to be nosy - I'm just worried cause I care about you. I see myself in you in so many ways. Have you talked to anyone but us about this?
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I bet you'll find quite a few victims of sexual abuse in an OA group. So many of us eat because of shame....I considered going to OA too but I realized I have metabolic problems, I don't overeat.
Good luck with everything, God be with you!
--------------------
Keep on keepin' on...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Welcome to another Canuck on the board. Cool!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Kate
#209547 - 08/29/05 02:13 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Wind
Reged: 04/02/05
Posts: 3178
|
|
|
I have never worked. I'm too scared and have nothing to offer. My father funds my life, rather generously, thankfully. (Spoiled rotten at age 31.) What's CBT? Seriously, Alicia--I think I was just having a demonic weekend re: OCD/GAD. I saw my MD last week. In reality, this past weekend was nothing compared to how I was prior to meds.
I think I'm just having a mini-mid-life crisis. You know how you have days/moments when reality/aging comes to consciousness and you realize that you're nowhere and that there really is nowhere you want to be because you've stopped giving yourself permission to dream, to visualize, to be creative, to learn...it's a case of having given up on the potential of oneself to expand, improve and grow. The only reason you keep on going is because it is the proper thing to do, the legal thing to do and because really you know not what else to do. Somehow you fill in the big blank between waking and sleeping with the activities associated with being a human being.
Last year I was worse. My orthorexia was in full swing. I would spend hours wandering hunting for the most perfect banana, only to reject it. What a joke.
Confession: I've been o'd-ing on caffeine, which makes that OCD/GAD worse and flushes the meds. from my system really fast.
Is it just me, or do things get more extreme/intense as we age? Every year feels harder, more visceral with this trash!
I'll be fine--I'm a survivor. I can weather most storms alone.
Kate.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
You should really be seeing a psychiatrist for meds - they know them better than your MD. Ask for a referral. CBT = Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It's where you're exposed to a situation that makes you uncomfortable and you have to resist the compulsion. IE Starting off slow - I had to pick up someone elses pen and NOT wash my hands afterward. You start really slow and work your way up. It's uncomfortable but it really works. I've gotten over some really big hurdles. OCD treatment is usually best with CBT AND meds. A psychologist does the CBT.
Don't give up dreaming. My psychologist said that us in our 30's often are worse because it finally catches up to us - ie. our teens and twenties are too busy. Suddenly we're 30 and boom. It hits full force. You will get better. Don't stop dreaming. Little steps. The prognosis for GAD and OCD are extremely good with the right med combo and therapy. Ask your MD about a psychologist and psychiatrist referral.
PS my e-mail is hansolo890@hotmail.com - e-mail me anytime. We're taking up a lot of board space here! LOL!
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
