Not Happy
#208696 - 08/26/05 06:18 AM
|
|
|
|
|
heather7476
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 2996
Loc: South East Michigan
|
|
|
I was talking to my uncle last night, and he made a comment that goes like this " You would be such a pretty girl if you would just lose all the weight"   
I didn't even know what to say I mean how do you respond to that!!! We were talking about me working out and out of no wear he says that. He is close to my age and we have always been close so it hurt that he would say that. You would think that you wouldn't have to worry what YOUR family is thinking about your weight!!!! I mean they are supposed to love and accept you no matter what! AND DANG IT I AM TRYING!!!!!!! Sorry it just realy upset me!!!
HUGS
--------------------
Heather7476
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
That's rude. I would be offended too! 
My parents are the biggest critics of my weight. They drive me NUTS! Someone at work told me I looked pregnant last week and I told my mom that last weekend when I saw her. She looked me over and said that I have definitely put on weight and some of it is in my tummy area. I asked if I looked fat and she didn't answer. Nce mom. grrrrr... 
You're beautiful no matter what you weigh!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
oh yeah, the "she has such a pretty face" crap. I've heard that sooooo many times. I remember crying when my uncle (fathers' brother) said how much better looking my brother was than me. Sure, that's because he looks like my mothers side not my father's. I look just like my father.
I KNOW I'd look better if I lost 100 lbs., no one has to tell me. Funny thing is, when I did lose weight (I got to 130 lbs. 12 years ago) everyone said I was TOO thin. HA !
relatives ... bah. Sometimes I'm glad I'm not living close to them any more.
--------------------
Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Not Happy
#208707 - 08/26/05 06:41 AM
|
|
|
|
|
atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
|
|
|
My father's best friend once said to him, "You know, Casey would be a really pretty girl if she'd just lose some weight." And my father, bless his unthinking little heart, TOLD ME THAT THE GUY SAID THAT. 
People just don't think before they open their mouths... even people who we love and who love us. I don't know how else to explain it other than that. But I definitely sympathize. It's still cruel, even when they have your best interests in mind.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Not Happy
#208738 - 08/26/05 08:00 AM
|
|
|
|
michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
|
|
|
What an awful thing to say! I'm sorry sweetie. You have been trying hard lately and you will lose the weight, even though I think you are beautiful just as you are! Have you tried that medication the dr gave you yet? I know you said it gave you D but maybe if you take it with an immodium. Didn't the dr say that was part of the reason for the weight? That was a very hurtful comment but remember, you are beautiful!!! Lots of love and hugs!
--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
My dad's side of the family is filled with folks who are on the heavy side. But you know what? It doesn't matter if you are 50 pounds overweight or 5 pounds overweight, every time you see them there are comments made about weight loss or gain! It drives me NUTS!!!
My 10 year old son has become very self conscious of his weight because of all the comments, and he isn't overweight!! It is so not fair!
Hang in there! You know yourself and that and that's all that matters!
--------------------
God is Faithful!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Just remember.... you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives! I avoid some relatives as much as possible just so they can't make me feel insecure. Chances are he meant well and was just trying to encourage you to keep exercising, but even so it's not easy to hear that kind of thing. Try not to let it bother you too much, and way to go for making an effort to improve things!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Grrr...
#208771 - 08/26/05 09:51 AM
|
|
|
|
Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
|
|
|
...can I come kick his butt for you? I HATE that kind of thing.
{{{HUGS}}}
Sweetie, you're gorgeous! 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I'm so sorry you have to hear that garbage. If people would stop focussing on everyone else's weight, there would be a lot more happy people in this world. I'm not too over weight (135 at 5'5 with a recent weight gain) but have struggled with a disorder for 21 yrs, partially due to the warped images in society about equating thinness to happiness. I for one am enjoying the new ad campaigns and seeing girls that aren't stick thin as much as I used to. I even commented to my husband last week that I've noticed a lot of teens and early 20ers girls that have a little bit of a belly on them, more so than I've ever noticed. I think it's great that they can be comfortable enough to let it hang out. Now, I'm not saying to get carried away with it, but it's nice to see that maybe we can be a little more like "the guys" in that way. I've always felt it was such a double standard. Why should we have to go around sucking it in when they don't and could care less about it? Sorry about the rant, this is such a sore subject for me. Grrr.... People need to mind their own business and be careful about what they say to people, family or not.
Alyson
--------------------
Everything in life happens for a reason, patience will eventually tell us what that is......
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
actually mentioning teen girls with bellies is something my mom brought up to me the other day.
My mom said that her and my dad are amazed by the amount of young girls they see walking down the street with their bellies hanging over their pants. (the amount actually shocks me too)
maybe we can attribute it to low rise jeans and skirts, because I think its inevitable to have belly overhang when your pants dont actually cover enough to hold in the belly.
Also Heather.. some people say STUPID THINGS.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
I agree...
#208828 - 08/26/05 11:44 AM
|
|
|
|
Alyson McG
Reged: 05/20/05
Posts: 317
Loc: Vancouver Washington (IBS-A, but D prominant)
|
|
|
I even said the same thing to my hubby. It's got to be the low rise trend, there's nothing there to make you suck it in.
--------------------
Everything in life happens for a reason, patience will eventually tell us what that is......
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Been there sweetie....MANY TIMES!! Even my trainer said when we first started working together... "You've got a nice waist, we just have to find it!" Can you imagine?!?!?!? But with her it is tough love...
But with your Uncle..that was not cool...that is when you say, "Yeah, thanks for your encouragement, that means a lot to me" or "You have the right to remain silent...USE IT!" 
Chin up sweetie... some people just don't have a clue what "words" can do.
--------------------
www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
THANK YOU ALL!!! your all are so wonderfull!!!!
I would love to know what in are minds makes us think that skinny is the only accetable way to be!!! It is just so frustrating that I constanly feel like I am being judged by my weight! I have a wonderfull husband and daughter, a nice home, family, and friends, BUT because I am overweight something must be WRONG with me???? WHATEVER!!!???!!!
THEN the cherry on top was today at the Fair!! I ran into a friend I haven't seen in about two months, are kids were in art class together. She comes walking up to me and says OMYGOD how far along are you! 
I said I not pregnant just bloated, But thanks for being so excited!  (NEVER assume someone is PG!!) Not only did it hurt because of the weight thing but because we have been trying for so dang long! I ate some pot roast last night and I WAS BLOATED this morning! After we came home I went potty and when I came out Rich was like no one is going to think your PG now! I smaked him the back of the head (don't worry he is used to itLOL)
So thanks for all the kind words I just feel like all the working out is for nothing! I was so proud that I had lost 3pounds,5 1/2 inches, 3% of my body fat! I gusse not enough for anyone to notice but do they have to comment!! LOL
HUGS!!!!
--------------------
Heather7476
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
People just don't think do they! I have heard so many people use that expression toward other people. In fact I just heard a coworker say it about another one just today! It is hurtful. What do they think you are gonna do wave a magic wand and say poof there, I'm prettier now I lost 25lbs. It's not that easy.
On the opposite end, I've been hurt by many, many people that say she must be anorexic cause she's so thin. Or they'd say "do you not eat"? "OMG you are sooooooo thin." Or "your probably so cold cause you have no meat on your bones" (that's a very common one). So see, you can be heavy or you can be thin and people think they have the right to just say whatever they want not thinking of the consequences.
I feel for ya Heather. Like everyone else said, doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it's what inside that counts!!!!! AND we all know you are beautiful!! 
--------------------
~~~Lisa~~~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
OMG I can't believe he said that! You are a beautiful person both inside and out. Don't let anyone tell you different. People just have no idea what the hell comes out of there mouths sometimes. Most people that say those things have there own insecurities to deal with and they take it out on other people. You hang in there sweetie and know that you are a beautiful person!!!!! Love ya!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I'd cut him out of my life if he were my uncle and he said that to me. He has no right.
Heather, don't listen to him. Don't be affected by him. He's motivated by his own pathetic pathology. Continue being as you are. Exist to please yourself, not your uncle. If that involves weightloss for personal reasons--all the power to you. However, it's none of your uncle's business.
Seriously--I'd be throwing something in his face--something really messy and gooey. Hmmm...I'd toss my dessert in his face.
Men! Definitely from Mars, sometimes.
Kate.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
you are gorgeous as is!!! and people like that need a wake up call on he important things in life!
--------------------
Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh, Heather! I've seen your photo, you're pretty anyway. If that was me, I would have been all "yeah, I know. I feel so sorry for you that you can't lose ugly like you can weight!"
Well, I'd have thought it but I probably wouldn't have said it.
It's ridiculous how much pressure there is on women, both direct pressure (ie, your uncle) and indirect pressure (Jessica Simpson in her tiny Dukes of Hazzard shorts). At 55kg/162cm (that's 121 pounds) I feel absolutely enormous, and I know it's silly, that I'm a healthy weight.... but somehow I can't forget the Woman's Weekly cover that had Britney Spears packin' on the pounds... she was a monster at 58kg (cough, apparently). I was so born 50 years too late, I'd have been great in the 40s where women were real women with wobbly bits.
Don't you let anyone convince you you're anything less than delectable, Heather.
--------------------
*Emma*
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
