Need some support
#202908 - 08/05/05 02:10 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Hey Guys,
Sorry I haven't responded to other posts or anything yet, I've been out at the doctor's all day and am really upset and could really use some support.
I got a copy of the psychaistrists evaluation of me, which was mostly nothing surprising and was helpful to have. HOwever, there was a page where he just makes observations regarding dress, make-up, stature, physical movements etc., and for weight he checked "overweight".
For those of you who know, I've been suffering from major problems with regards to my weight to the point where I believe I likely have an eating disorder. I'm not super skinny but I didn't think I was overweight. I lost all that weight last summer and am within the normal weight range for my size...in fact, my regular doctor was concerned I had become too small.
So, now I'm freaking out and I feel so stupid and guilty for freaking out over such a small thing. I just keep hoping it's a mistake or something, which I know is pathetic. I even called his office to find out why he put that...but then I'm afraid he'd be angry.
So I really don't know what to do, I'm all alone again tonight (bf works till midnight) and I can't stop crying and I'm afraid I won't be able to bring myself to eat or anything. I don't know why I have to take these things so seriously, but what other people think of me and see me as is just such a big deal to me and I just want to be "average"
Thanks for listening,
Kelly
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Oh, sweetie! Don't be so hard on yourself!
*hugs*
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Men
#202913 - 08/05/05 02:18 PM
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Only a man (and a dumb one) would put that where a woman could see it! j/k
Well, first of all, if you know you're not overweight, I wouldn't worry about it. My best guess would be that either you have a chubby face or that you were wearing something that made you look heavier. Have you ever seen pictures of Kelly Ripa when she was younger? I was so shocked the first time I saw her in a bikini on her soap, because I was sure she was a little chunky, because she had chubby cheeks! Turns out just the cheeks were like that. (Your cheeks don't look chubby to me in your picture, but you never know.) As for clothes, whenever I see people from high school, they go on about how thin I am now. Okay, at my heaviest, I was maybe 15 pounds heavier than I am now, and I'm 5'9", so that's not all that impressive. However, in high school I tended to wear really baggy clothes, complete with HUGE t-shirts, so I think people thought I was bigger than I was.
Could either of those factors be contributing to his mean ol' check mark? If not, and you know you aren't overweight, then just try to see some humor in his insensitivity.
Big hugs, skinny lady--
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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That is awful! If you are anything like your picture you are not close to overweight. I am overweight. I could loose 100 lbs. and still be over weight. Do you think it was a typo and he meant underweight? Don't sweat it. Not eating will only make you sick. Go have something decadent and screw the Dr.(not literally)
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Kelly
#202923 - 08/05/05 02:31 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Surely that was a typo---and he meant underweight!!! You are not overweight, by anyone's standards. Please don't let this upset you or affect your eating habits.
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Update
#202960 - 08/05/05 04:50 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Thank you all so much for your replies. You guys truly are a great family  I was bawling while I typed that, and your kind replies helped me get myself together enough to go out and exercise and now I'm feeling a little better about things. Plus, I continued reading his evaluation, and there were some positives...he said I was "above average intelligence" so that's always nice right?
Anyways, I think maybe the chubby face might have had something to do with it, plus, I was just at a doctor's so I was in sweats...not the most flattering clothes. Still, I've been struggling so much to not starve myself (I was starving myself before) that I just don't need anything like that. I've got a couple of pictures of me before and after the initial starvation period...I'm going to post them...hopefully it'll be therapeutic for me. I'm not looking for people to comment on how I look, just maybe admitting to myself that I have slimmed down might help I guess. In the meantime, I just have to find a way to convince myself it's ok to eat dinner 
Here's me before: 
And me after: 
And me just recently at a friend's wedding (I cropped out the bride just in case she didn't want her photo on the internet)..this one kinda shows how my face can be chubby: 
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Here's my belief:
Why would you ever listen to someone ELSE's opinion about YOUR body unless they were YOUR doctor and knew all your problems?
Honey, that moron doesn't have your medical file, does not talk to your doctor and really, only looks into your habits and into your head!
Don't worry about him!
You are beautiful, and you should not be worried about it. Ever.
You were chosen for the body you are now currently residing in, so why not learn to love it?
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You are NOT overweight. Please don't let that stupid doctor's comments make you think you are. You have certainly slimmed down a lot! I'm also one of those people with a round face which makes me look bigger than I am and I find too that I have big bones which makes me look bigger than I am too. I am currently classed as underweight according to the scales however if you look at me I don't look super skinny or anything. I'm also one of those people who are wider front on than sideways. If you look at me from the front there's a LOT more of me than if you look from the side. Hang in there and try to ignore him. Eating properly is so important ((((HUGS))))
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Amy
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I saw a big change. He is obviously out of his mind. Yikes.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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...and he is crazy. Don't sweat it!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Oh the idiot! I think that either it was the cute pinchable cheeks plus sweats or that he perceived that you thought of yourself as overweight. Either way, it's not actually true, so don't sweat it toooo much, but IMHO I'd ask about it at your next apt.
{{{HUGS}}}
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Kelly,
#203109 - 08/06/05 07:49 AM
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barbie
Reged: 04/22/04
Posts: 2435
Loc: Texas
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I just looked at your pictures and you are adorable. I can tell in the before and after that you did lose weight. Don't let anyone make you think you are fat, OK! BTW, you should post that pic from the wedding as your profile pic.
Barbie
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Sweetie, you have GOT to stop dwelling on what others think of you and start concentrating on what YOU think of you. That's all that matters. Let me tell you a little story. I'll try to make it short and sweet (yeah, right.)
I used to be a pretty little girl who grew up into a very pretty child and ultimately a pretty adult. However, because of all mother's mental abuse, constantly putting me down, I never appreciated what a sweet person I was. I went through life thinking I was unattractive and had nothing to offer, that my brothers were so much better than I, and that I'd end up with nothing.
Now, as I look back at all my old pictures, I see a very pretty young lady who never knew who or what she was, full of self-doubt and yes, even loathing. What a waste!
Kelly, look in the mirror. You're a beautiful young lady with a sincere heart. You need to not waste your youth like I did. Don't listen to mean and inconsiderate comments by family members who have to put others down to feel good about themselves. Stop focusing on what some idiotic doctor puts down in his records and start concentrating on the things you KNOW about yourself to be true. What one person sees as overweight another person sees as the perfect body. And it doesn't matter what either see, but what YOU see. We have GOT to stop this insanity over body weight! It is just SOOOO not important. Aren't you more than a number on a scale? If you don't think so, I can guarantee you others do. None of us here know what you weigh, and NONE OF US CARE! Did you hear me? NONE OF US CARE! We all like you for YOU, the REAL you. Please learn to do the same for yourself.
Your friend,
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Re: Kelly,
#203521 - 08/08/05 09:22 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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You look Great!! That picture from the wedding is fabulous! I can most definitely tell you've lost weight and you are NOT fat! You really do look very good!! Please don't be upset by that comment the dr has in your chart!! I hope you are feeling better today! Big hugs!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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