A bit overwhelmed
#202841 - 08/05/05 11:14 AM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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After my response to Stephie, I realized I should probably post about this, and maybe you guys can help me out.
As most of you know from some of my other posts the past few weeks, I was just formerly diagnosed with fibro. I went to a doc who specializes in fibro and CFS two weeks ago. She is running tons of blood tests and gave me some supplements to take until I see her later this month.
The supplements are kinda messing with my tummy, giving my some D, really smelly gas, and a grumbly, sometimes in pain GI tract. I only have a week's worth left of the one, so I figure I'll finish that one off and hopefully things will get better.
It's getting towards the end of the term for me and I have so much work to do, but it takes me longer now since I'm in pain and being at the computer too long gives me headaches and makes me feel all foggy/gross. And I have very little motivation to get things done since I feel icky. My bf Mac has been helping some, especially with things around the house, but he's going to be gone for the next week at a conference in Toronto, and then for a half week to visit his grandparents in Ohio. Did I mention I need to pack since I'm moving at the end of the month? And I realized yesterday that with my paycheck I'm currently getting, once I pay rent, utilities, my cell phone, and the minimum payment on my credit card (which has almost a grand on it b/c the fibro doc doesn't take insurance, hopefully going to get a little bit back from the insurance company once I file the claims form), I have $30/month left for groceries and any other necessities. Granted I have some money saved up, but it has to last me until I graduate in June and can get a job/get into grad school. I have an offer for another job on campus, but I don't want to work 2 jobs if I can help it, because it may just make me sicker!
I'm sorry for the rant, I'm just feeling overwhelmed right now, I feel like I should be doing more for my fibro, but I don't have the money right now or the time. I can't even afford to buy books to research/help with it, and none of the local libraries have any to help me. And I tried to get my boss to give me a raise or pay me for more hours, but they keep messing with his personnel budget so he can't.
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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yikes
#202845 - 08/05/05 11:20 AM
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Melissa,
STRESS! Oh my. Well, try to remember that things have a way of working themselves out. So, even if you have to draw on your savings a little right now, you will probably come into some unanticipated funds at a later point. I'm no fibro expert, but I am guessing that with fibro, worrying about it is like the worst thing you can do for yourself! Try to just trust that "there is a solution." 
I'm sorry about the pain and fibro yuckiness, too. That just sounds awful. Just hang in there!
Hugs,
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Doesn't it suck to be a poor starving student? Been there - done that - totally understand where you're coming from. My advice to you - use your savings. That's what they're there for. If you've only got till June to go, you can get some loans, or another job when you're feeling better. I don't know what there is in the US - but Canada has lots of student loans available. Ones with low interest rates that you can pay back once you are done school with a full time job. I know it sucks, but most people do it this way.
Might I suggest a luxury massage? I know it's definitely not a student thing, nor is it a budget thing, but it could really help with the fibro. See if you have insurance - a lot of insurance covers massages for therapeutic purposes. All you need is a Doctor's note. But that's Canada for you.
Do what you need now to get by. Worry about the cost later. I know how you feel - I was never one to spend money I didn't have. I hated using my savings, and getting a loan in my 5th year of university. But that's what I did to get through. You'll do what you must, too.
Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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massage
#202919 - 08/05/05 02:27 PM
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I think Alicia's right--that's a great idea. Try calling around to a couple of chiropractors' offices. They often give massages for a lot cheaper. You might miss a few frills, but you'll get the tension rubbed out!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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I know how you feel. And school makes everything harder. I too have all the inclination to get my fibro checked out, but not the funds. Stoopid lack of insurance!
The big thing to remember with fibro is getting as much sleep as you can. I agree with the massage idea-- is there a student health clinic on your campus? Normally they'll offer some kind of massage at a reduced rate, and you might be able to charge it to your school bill. I hear ya about stretching $30 for a month. I always attended every open party, fundraiser or social (even Black Student's Union!) just to find some free food I could munch on. Happy hours are great for that too-- don't even bother buying a drink, just slide up to the buffet and fill up a plate. How about a soup kitchen, or food line? Can you get your hands on some free chow anywhere? Don't laugh, I did that too, just showing up at a church and telling them I was homeless. Boy, those women gave so many loaves of bread and apples (ugh! apples!) I didn't know what to do with them. Can you hit up your family for a care package? Go to lunch at a friend's parents' house and raid the fridge? Have a byo everything party and invite everybody? (Hm, I STILL do this!  )
Deep breaths, Mel. I know it's bad now. Get your friends and family and circle the wagons. Don't let yourself get sick over this. You have to look after yourself. Best of luck to you--
~nelly~ Your fibro-friend 
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Thanks, guys
#202941 - 08/05/05 04:13 PM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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Thanks for the suggestions. Unfortunately, the chiropractors in my area don't deal with insurance unless you've been in a car accident (I tried to get into a chiropractor when my shoulders started bugging me, which I now know it's the fibro) and my student health center sucks at getting anything worthwhile done. Massages aren't medically necessary in their eyes. And free food at anything at my school means pizza, which would make me horribly sick. Damn being a realist.
Mac suggested tonight that I take out a bigger student loan than I was going to this year to pay my tuition and health insurance to pay off my credit card and help pay for my fibro appointments, which I don't particularly like, but is probably the best option. Actually, Mac just wants me to take out a huge loan and quit my job, but I think that's excessive.
Thanks again, guys. Being a college student with chronics is getting to me....
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Sorry that you're having a rough time  I hear you on the massage issue...it's hard to get people to say they're medically necessary!
Just wanted to make a quick suggestion...do you have any massage schools around? I had a friend who went through to be a massage therapist and they would hold weekly free clinics because they needed people to practice on. I don't know how comfortable you would be with that because obviously you don't want to make anything worse, but thought I'd put it out there.
And I hear you on the student loans...my bf often talks about me just taking out a giant loan so I can just go to school and not work, but I just can't do it...too stressful
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Don't you have family that can help you? I can't imagine not helping my boys if they were going through this while in college.
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Family
#202984 - 08/05/05 06:07 PM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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My mom is unemployed at the moment, because she also has IBS and fibro (and migraines and arthritis), so she needed to quit her old job working in a greenhouse (it was making her worse). She's having trouble finding a job, and money is tight on just my dad's salary, since I have two teenage brothers. My mom felt so bad that my youngest brother (he's 16) had to pay for part of his marching band camp at school this summer out of his money from working since my parents couldn't afford it. My parents don't help me pay for school other than co-signing on my student loans, because they don't have the money either. If they ever get the rest of the money from the settlement for the car accident my father was in almost 4 years ago, they MAY be able to help me out some. Both sets of my grandparents are retired, so I don't want to bother them. My parents and grandparents all live in Virginia, so they're a good 5-7 hours away, so they're not particularly geographical close enough to help either.
I think part of it is I'm so used to be able to support myself, I've been doing it for almost 5 years now.
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Re: Family
#203042 - 08/05/05 08:39 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Wow! I'm impressed that you are supporting yourself at such a young age. (Ok, so maybe you're older than I thought you were.) How old are you?
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Oh hon. Sooooo understand. BIG {{{gentle hugs}}}.
I can't do nearly enough for my Fibro b/c of money - it sucks big-time. To be honest, I like Mac's suggestion at least for saving you from doing 2 jobs. You don't want to mess up the final year of your studies b/c you're trying to work as well as study with the Fibro. Get your degree and then worry about work.
Have you seen if there are any support groups in your area at all? I borrowed books from my local one which saved wasteing loads of cash.
Also...You know your IBS and I'd keep that under control if I were you.
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Re: Family
#203105 - 08/06/05 07:12 AM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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I'm 22, and I'm entering my fifth year of college, since my program is a 5-year one. The only reason it's worked is that my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years of school I worked full-time for 6 months and went to school for 6 months (it's called a co-op program, all of the engineering majors at my school do this).
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Melissa, I too was pretty much on my own all throughout college. I had scholarships but still had to take out massive amounts of loans, which was scary. I hate going into debt like that. But, it was the only way to get my degree.
I say, take out the loans to get you through while still being able to take care of yourself and not working yourself to death...you'll only get sicker if you do that.
I'm so sorry you now have been diagnosed with Fibro. You'll make it though. I know you will. It will be rough, but you are a smart cookie with high goals and a good attitude!
I'm sorry Mac will be gone for a while. Why do you need to move? Maybe it would take some stress off of you if you could just stay put for a while. It's so hard moving.
Anyhow, I say take out loans! That's what I did, as I had no money from my family either. It's not the best situation, but if it comes to that to get your degree, pay the bills, and get a handle on all your health problems, it's well worth it, IMHO.
Let us know how you are doing.
Love,
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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I have to move because our lease is up on Sept 1, and we are currently over legal occupancy of our current apartment. Here's the long, convoluted story:
I moved in to my current place June 1 last year, taking over for someone who wanted to move in with his girlfriend. Two of the other three people moved out in August, my best friend and his girlfriend moved in Sept 1 last year. So it's me, my best friend, his girlfriend, and one of our (female) friends from our drama club at school who had been living here in our 4 bedroom plase. Mac was in Turkey for a year doing study abroad and got back around the same time. We all talked about it, and everyone said it was ok for Mac to move in with us this June when everyone he was living with graduated (he has one more year left like me). Then in November, our female friend's boyfriend moves in with us, without asking. Doesn't even start paying rent or bills until March/April. Mac moves in in June as talked about before, because he has nowhere else to go. Our female friend and her boyfriend are messy and rude, and now we have 6 people living in a place for 4 people. So Mac and I, and my best friend and his girlfriend are moving around the corner to get away from the other couple in our current apt. Oh, and our landlord won't come do any repairs. They're not critical, but it's things like the kitchen sink is screwy and you have to turn it off a certain way to shut it off completely, some of the lights don't work, the front door needs to be rehung (you have to slam it to get it to shut), stuff like that. So we decided to get out of here. Don't worry, we're paying lots of friends in beer and pizza to help us move, and I'm sure the boys won't let me overdo it. They have a tendancy to be overprotective of me.
And I have decided to take out a larger student loan to at least pay off my credit card and help pay for the fibro doc. I'll keep my current job, if nothing else, because I'll go crazy with absolutely no income, and I actually do like my job. And the way my school works, I can't get the money from the loans that overpays my account until after the second week of each term, so I don't want to get caught in a pinch.
Thanks so much for the suggestions and the love!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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I've actually gone to the hospital to get my back checked out and told them I'd been in a car accident the day before, where I was a passenger. I told them it didn't hurt yday but hurt today, sort of thing.
Unf you're right... they don't take you seriously unless they think you've had radical trauma. I have had car accidents where I just stayed in bed afterward!! But some fibro pains for me are so much worse. It's so hard being in need when people don't understand your pain.
~nelly~ I don't make the rules, I just learn to work around them...
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Sorry about you are going through. Do you get finacial aid to help cover tution and books?
You have to food to survive - are there any places to go where you can get free food?
My heart goes out to you, because I have been there. I'll keep you in my prayers and hang in there.
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