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Thanks, Beth. You're absolutely right. If the tables were turned, I wouldn't feel one iota different for my husband. I would love him just the same, and would do anything to help him through it. As I know he is willing to do for me. Thank you for reminding me what's important. I'm so happy to hear from you. Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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It was the second hardest thing I've ever done (second to calling the crisis line leading to my admission to the hospital). Just try to write your feelings down. Especially when you're feeling overwhelmed. It will really help you put into perspective when those feelings are a product of bipolar, and when they are a reall feeling when you are stable. Just give it a try. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just write what you want to. No one has to see it but you. You don't have to share it unless you want to. Even a few sentences is a start. I'm no expert - God knows - I've even only tried it once, but lots of people have told me it's extremely beneficial. Love and hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I hope you plan to post a BILLION pictures of the wedding - we're sOOOOOOOOOOO excited for you!!!!!!!! I can't wait till your wedding day. Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Thank you so much. Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Stable. Will I ever know what that means?
Alicia...you sound SO GOOD! You sound like you can set limits and boundaries. Like you are getting to know yourself in ways you never did...and liking it!
*crying* Will I ever have that? I feel so bad right now...like I'll never "get well". I'm in such a low...
Maybe I WILL journal. I've been a writer all my life. You know, you've seen my poetry. Maybe I should just write down how I feel, is that the idea? I'm not exactly sure what to write...sorry if that sounds stupid...but I'm just not sure I get it...
One thing I DO know...this is NOT real. It is an overwhelming sense of deep, deep darkness, blues, down-in-the-dumps...and nothing casued it. Well, I WAS high for days...so I guess I crashed?
Sorry for rambling...I guess I need to know I'm doing it right...or it's no good...
Ugh! 
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Thanks, Tommy. You and Tina mean a lot to me and your support means so much. Keep your love real. With that you can conquer anything - did I tell you that my husband and I had a long distance relationship both while dating and while married? I understand how you both feel. I wish you both all the best. Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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My dearest Rachel, you will FEEL that balance. It will happen for you. It just takes time. Try the journal. There are no rules. Take it any way you want to. There is NOTHING wrong with what you write - nothing whatsoever. The beauty of it is that you don't have to share it with anyone - but it can immensely help you understand your own feelings.
I understand your darkness. You WILL feel better again. My answer was the meds, and a wonderful husband. I know how you feel about meds, but I would encourage you to consider it. If you feel they don't help, you can always discontinue them. I feel the meds are helping. Both my father and best friend said I've been better than I have been in months. It's all due to the meds. The meds can give you a FOUNDATION that you can use to heal. They're not the total answer. God knows - you can't pop a pill and solve everything. But they can help.
You WILL get better. I'm here for you - every SECOND of the way. I love you.
Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I'm on Lamictal. Since last Wednesday. I'm on 25mg and every other day (my psych. was out of town and he colleague was on call who didn' think muscle pain was a symptom and it says it IS on the pharmacy sheet as did the pahrmacist himself!), and he put me on every other day. I've been waiting about a week for her to return and I hope to hear from her tonight!
She wants to keep me at 25 mg for 6 weeks. Then we move me up to 50mg. It could be MONTHS before I see any results from this med. I am considerng asking for something "potent" to help in the meantime. I just don't think I should have to live this way!
I decided to take meds because of you, BL, Kate...and others here. I decided I deserve to feel OKAY! And natural remedies may be the answer one day...but for now they certainly aren't! I need meds so I can THRIVE and LIVE!!!
I love you so much...thank you for inspiring me! And for loving me...I would surely be in the hospital (or dead--that's honesty!) without all of you by now...
Love you SO MUCH!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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The high you speak of sounds typical of bipolar, as does the low you feel right now. I highly recommend the journal. There are no rules. Write what you want to. No one has to see it but you - there is no judgement. Whatever you feel is good, WRITE. Sometimes, writing can help you rid some of the feelings you feel by putting them on paper. Then, you're not so bottled up with all these emotions.
Love, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I've never heard or lactamil, so I have no advice. I've also been prescribed ATIVAN, which is a "downer" if you please. It's an anti-anxiety agent, and helps calm you down, whether down or up. It can help you sleep, as well, which is what I take it for. I would encourage you to ask your psychiatrist for a med that will help you sleep - I will help calm you down and allow you to get the rest that you need. I have been using ATIVAN on and off for the last few months. It has been a lifesaver. As your doctors will tell you, you must be careful with it because it can be addictive in higher doses. I'm on a very low dose, and am very careful with it - and it has been very helpful.
Love, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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