What to do about my mother's big mouth?
#200482 - 07/28/05 12:22 PM
|
|
|
|
momof2
Reged: 07/27/04
Posts: 68
Loc: Belgium, but soon to be Maryland
|
|
|
Oh, I can't believe this...I finally told my parents that I had been diagnosed with IBS and would get D sometimes 10 times a day (I am almost symptom free right now). Anyway, my mother feels it is her place to talk to EVERYONE she knows about it. Then, she calls me with all the different ideas her clients and friends have given her. Let me tell you, they come up with some humdingers too (get a colonic, eat more fiber, and take chinese herbs)She also cannot have a conversation with me without bringing up the subject either. I tend to be very closed-mouthed about these sorts of things, even to my husband and kids. So, everytime I get on the phone with her, my family has to hear the words D and C about 20 times. UHG! I almost wish I hadn't said anything to her in the first place. I was just so mad at her for griping at me about not being communicative enough with her that I spilled the beans on my IBS. GRRR Does anyone have this problem? Unfortunately, I can't just ask her to stop because she is also very passive-aggressive and she would end up get really nasty with me, and then she would become even more difficult. *sigh*
--------------------
*Karyn* IBS D
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ah yes. My mother has a HUGE mouth. She also tends to get things slightly wrong and repeat them to other's wrong. So, rather than tell everyone about my IBS, she'd forget what it really was and tell them I have worms or something. It's hilarious to hear what comes out of her mouth, though when I was younger it really bothered me.
I can't offer advice, but if you find a solution, please share! 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
My mom does similar stuff. She is really close with her sisters and cousins, and they all talk about what their children are going through. I got several books when I got diagnosed, from random aunts and cousins. People are constantly cutting out articles for me. I don't love that everyone knows about my D, but I have to say that I know my mom is just investigating every possible avenue and remedy so that I can get better soon. Is it possible that your mom is up to the same thing? Even if she's not, can you just delude yourself into believing that she has good intentions? It's easier than being angry.
--------------------
Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Laugh!
#200502 - 07/28/05 12:43 PM
|
|
|
|
Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
|
|
|
It's the only way I've found. You could tell her it embarrases you, but then she's probably just say it all in a stage whisper instead! Ah, Moms. Gotta love em...or you'd kill them! 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
--------------------
Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Yep! Moms!
I had some people over for diner, and I cooked out of the "Cooking for IBS". My mom started showing everyone this "great cookbook" that I'm using now, and I was so embarased! I mean, it is a great book, but I'm not really at the point where I want to tell everyone what I'm going through, yet.
So I totally understand how you feel!
--Myra
--------------------
IBS-D
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
--------------------
IBS-D
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
If that was me, I'd be all like "MUM! I don't want to talk about POO in front of everyone!"
It's nice that she's doing research on it.... even if it's the "ask the co-worker or friend" kind of research (that's how I found out in at primaty school that you get pregnant through your belly button if a boy kisses you ).
Maybe you shoudl tell her how much you appreciate her finding out all she can about your illness, and then say "I just wish it wasn't such an EMBARRASSING problem, I mean... having to tell people I have trouble with pooing!"
Hopefully keeping it subtle will work, and you won't have to straight-out ask her to stop?
--------------------
*Emma*
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
She will not allow me to talk about any health matters. I am "not allowed" to discuss my pain, or anything related to my GI problems.
It is sad that I can't cry on her shoulder when I am hurting so badly...or so frustrated over not being able to get a grasp on thing.
And she never cooks me safe foods at holiday...and she won't talk to me if I have the guts to bring my own food. Suppose she thinks it's just my way of staying "eating disordered". I have lost her trust.
Okay, digressed a litte. Just so happy I have you all to be my support system...although it would be nice to get an actual real hug, or to "hear" the words "I'm sorry you feel so bad". I guess I should stop hoping for the impossible.
Sorry this post is so negative. Guess I'm just venting. And again, makes me all the more appreciative of how patient people on the boards have been with me...and how accepted I have been. At least you guys haven't given up on me yet...I hope!
--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ask her how she would like it if you discussed her private matters with your friends.
--------------------
Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
