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heartache is about the worst thing ever. I really, really hope it works out for you. But in any case, I think you are doing a brave thing, and really keeping a clear head about all this. You have to look out for yourself too, and I think you're doing that.
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Urgh!!!!
#194280 - 07/11/05 02:25 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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MEN!  They always want to have their cake, eat that, get YOUR cake and eat that too!
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} honey! 
Follow up on that thought...make a personal deadline for him - whether it's 2 days, a week, a month or what - and if he hasn't made a decision by then, move on. Prepare yourself as much as you can...finding a possible place to live, etc so that if he's still being a jerk and won't commit to you, you can cut the cord rightaway and move on.
In my experience, when you know, you know...for both sides. You will find a person who wants to commit to you as much as you want to commit to him and it will be fab. You don't want to be tied to someone who's with you only in case he regrets not commiting to you!
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Oh Kimm...I'm having total flash backs.... this is so sad and frustrating.
It is obvious that he has no interest in marriage, you can't even get him to commit that you will still be dating. If marriage is a BIG thing to you... then you HAVE to end it sweetie.
Twenty-four is really young for a guy. I met my ex when I was 20 and he was 17...we were together for 8 years (about year 7 he got the itch) and decided this was not what he wanted anymore.... I was crushed... but we went our separate ways and he was married to another lady within a year and had a daughter before Shane & I were even married (4 years).
People grow and change.....and not always together.... he and Shane are total opposites just as I am completely different from both my ex's wife AND Shane's ex-wife. Breaking up was the best thing for US.....
Best of luck to you sweetie.... TRUST YOUR HEART! {{hugs}}
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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I'm sorry about all of this. I'm sure that it will end up for the best, whatever happens. It's too bad you have no idea what that is right now.
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well I got home from work today and he called me as soon as I walked in the door and he said that he was sure that he wanted to be with me.
He said that he just thinks he's experiencing a 20something crisis right now and the thought of "the rest of his life" just really freaks him out. He said he is 100% positive he wants to be with me and that he can see me in his future but he's not ready to set anything in stone yet. Which is fine with me....I never wanted to set anything in stone....I'm not ready for marriage either!!! It is just important to me that he can at least see us together in the future.
I'm still a little unsure about the whole thing. I feel like I shouldn't let myself trust him just yet.
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Seriously, it's bringing flashbacks to me and my husband when we were dating (not sure if you read my post farther down)....I truly do think men in general have a harder time imagining their future with any kind of committment for some reason...it's more confining to them, whereas to women it's comforting.
But, like you said, you're having a hard time trusting. I think you just need to make it clear that the emotional roller coaster needs to stop, for both of your sakes. Only you can know if it's worth the risk, but don't forget---nothing risked, nothing gained. Good luck dear.
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and it totally sucks! I dated (my now husband)9 years before we married. At age 20 and he was 21, he pulled the same crap on me. We were looking at moving out and getting an apartment (yes, living in sin)and he all of the sudden tells me, he's just not sure how he feels about me anymore. Now mind you we dated 6 years and he's telling me this. I WAS DEVISTATED> Now, as far as the signs...I kind got them from him but I ignored them. I was going through major anxiety issues, hormonal issues and stuff and it majorly scared him away. He told me that he was my only best friend and that I should break away from him and have other friends and blah blah blah. I was sick for weeks until I finally came to the realization that I needed to move on and I did. I started dating an old childhood neighbor and the minute he found out, he was back a knocking at my door. He I guess realized he did love me and needed some space to sew his wild oats I guess. He was free from me for maybe 3 months. Did what he wanted, didn't have to listen to anyone nag him and he finally realized it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I seriously know it helped me in the end. I became more independent and understanding of his time with his friends. I had made a bunch of new and old friends during that time off and I became a much better person in the end.
I'm not sure if that's what you guys need at this point. I don't blame you for not totally trusting him. It could be that he is really afraid that you will do as you say and move on and he will regret it. It sounds to me that he does love you and doesn't want to lose you. In my situtation I think my hubby never in a million years would have thought I'd move on and when I did, that's what brought him back. I feel for you so much. More than you can imagine. I don't want to sound like an ol folk but it's all about growing up. It seems as everyone goes through this traumatizing thing once in a lifetime. You will get through it, trust me. I'm living proof. We are now married 14 years and dated 9 so technically it's 23 years we've been together and I'm only 38! Sorry for the cliche' but if it is meant to be then you two will get past this hump and end up together in the end.
Good luck with the next few weeks. It's gonna be a ride!!! Take care!!! BIG<BIG<HUGE HUGS
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~~~Lisa~~~
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I appreciate all of your advice and support more than I can say. You've all given me different perspectives on the situation and I thank you so much for this.
He called me AGAIN about an hour ago to say that he was thinking about me. Maybe the fact that I told him I was going to move on hit home with him.
We're going to get together wednesday to talk some more and he suggested going for "ice cream" (sorbet) ....I'll let you guys know if anything else develops.
*HUGS TO ALL* thanks again.
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but wanted to give my support anyhow. I hope you both work this out and that he realizes what he has before he loses you. Men!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Quote:
They always want to have their cake, eat that, get YOUR cake and eat that too!
OK, sorry but this totally cracked me up - never seen a truer statement LMAO
As for everything else Kim! I have been there - DH and I dated for 9 months when he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore and busted up with me at Christmas no less. I was completely devasted, but I did move on. Atleast 10 months later we got back together and have been going strong ever since.
My aunt always says "If you love something, let it go - If it comes back it's yours forever. If it doesn't return it was never yours in the first place." Just a little quote for you to chew on LOL
Good luck in your decision honey! This is so tough - but by the sounds of it alot of us have been there and have lived to tell about it. We are all here for you!!
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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