Arg! Women!
#188042 - 06/21/05 10:42 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi guys,
I just need to vent a little bit about these ridiculous girls.. I feel like I am stuck in high school sometimes with stuff like this, and even though it shouldn't bother me it totally does.
I don't know if anyone remembers, but a few months ago my best friend that I've known since I was like 8 and I "broke up" and it was really hard on me. The letter she sent me was pretty harsh, and when I think about it now it still makes me angry and upset.
Then the same girl screwed over my OTHER friend (the one I went to England with) by dating a guy that my friend was interested in, starting on the same night that she has given my friend the "go ahead" to pursue him.
Okay, so then my friend is mad at her but they end up making up and everything is peachy keen again.
So then this girl that I went to England with and I go out together on the weekend to a birthday party at the bar. She didn't know a ton of people there, so I stuck around her most of the night even though there were loads of people I could have talked to. She tells me that the weekend before, she went camping and SLEPT with my "ex friend's" ex-boyfriend. I won't go in to all the gory details but this relationship screwed up my "ex friend" for AGES (it's one of the reasons she was so messed up and bitter and awful) after he cheated on her over and over again. With dirty girls, no less.
So right, my friend sleeps with him. Without protection. Even though she KNEW he was dirty. So she has to come home, take the morning after pill AND go and get tested for STDs. WHAT AN IDIOT! So she says she isn't gonna tell my "ex friend" what happened.
At the end of the night my "ex friend" shows up, and I said something like, "Oh no, she's here" and my friend shrugs and goes, "Well, she's MY friend" and I was like "Right..." Some friendship!
So Adrian and I go outside when everyone is being kicked out and wait outside for my friend since we are supposed to go home together. We are freezing are butts off, waiting around forever and my friend comes strolling out with my "ex friend" and this other girl, walks right past me and doesn't even say goodbye. I called, "Bye?" after her and she was like, "Oh, bye" and doesn't even bother to explain that she is going out with these other girls instead!
I just don't understand!! I am so frustrated, I am losing my friends and I can't get why. I said to Adrian was I was really angry, "So she's <censored> her, and she's <censored> her and I haven't done anything to either of these b!tches and yet, _I_ am the one who is being ditched and stuff!"
Gah!! It just makes me so mad! I mean, after all the stuff they have done I am not exactly thrilled to have them as best friends but the places the loyalties lie just makes my head spin.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Stephie,
I am sorry that you have to go through this with your friends. They sound very childish to me and not worthy to be your friends. The few girlfriends that I have I would never think to do such things to them. It seems like it is time to move on and meet some new people who will be more mature and care more about friendships.
I know it is upsetting and hurtful that two people you care about and thought were best friends have acted this way without regard to your feelings. If you have the opportunity calmly tell the friend you sat with all night how much she hurt your feelings and that you won't put yourself in that position again to be hurt by her. If she is as immature as she sounds she will probably get angry but at least you have had a chance to express your feelings to her.
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Janey
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Honestly, Steph, girls can be so awful. They are not worth it. Its hurtful and they are being childish so try to rise above it and not let it get to you so much (I know how hard this is)
hang in there
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S.
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Steph, dont let them get to you...they are DEFINATELY NOT worth it....having spent 7 years in an ALL GIRLS school...I am a pro at dealing with girls like that. Its the main reason why I think I get on better with lads than girls....the girls Im friends with are never your 'ordinary bitchy' type of girls...theyre always the type of people who dont follow the crowd and Im lucky that FINALLY when I went to uni Im met the best friends ever. But I had a 'best' friend in school...who practically did everything but sleep with her other 'best' friends boyfriend....they hadnt really started going out properly bt she was totally besotted by him and still to this day knows nothing about it all and they are both still 'best' friends!! I dont know how she has the cheek to be friends with her after what she did...I hate anyone who is two faced...I cant stand it! Honestly dont let them get to you...get out there and meet some new people who wont treat you like these 'immature' excuses for a girl.....you deserve SO much more!!!!
((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
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 Natalie
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You hit the nail right on the head when you started this by saying that you felt like you were stuck in high school. It's obvious that you've reached a maturity level that neither of them have even remotely gotten to yet.
I know it sucks... my friendships "shift" every couple years, and I'm seriously only friends with 3 girls that I was friends with 5 years ago. And I really think those friendships are still intact because we all live so far away from each other and only see each other once every couple years!
But anyway, it's one of the unfortunate realities of getting "older". You outgrow friends. 
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In the past year, I have lost two "close" friends, one of whom was my maid of honor!!! She married a jerk she didn't really love, moved to CA with him, was miserable, complained about him all the time (he said/did awful things), said she was going to leave him, over and over, finally was coming home...and oh, look, he's coming with her and she realized how wonderful he really is. And I questioned her motives, and that was that. The other friend, I've known for quite a while, and was one of the last of my group to try to be friends becuase she distanced herself when she met her fiance. When I asked her one night why she wasn't coming to my birthday party she pretty much exploded on me all these things she's been holding against me I didn't know about. One stupid example: her fiance offered me nachos one night and I refused and gave him a dirty look. Yes, THIS is the kind of stuff she was holding against me!!
At first, I wondered what was wrong with me that I was losing friends, but my other very close friends told me just to think of it as "spring cleaning"!!! To be honest, I don't miss them (the "real" friendship had ended long before) and I'm glad to be rid of the drama!!! 
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Some people just SUCK! What can I say? It happened to me recently too.
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Some peoples children..I tell ya!! 
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Quote:
Some peoples children..I tell ya!!
Ditto! This is probably the reason I have way more guy friends than girl friends. And when you reach that stage when you're more mature than most of your friends - well, it plain sucks sometimes.
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- Jennifer
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People always wondered why I had so few friends my age (most were much older). Well, duh.
Although I have to say it gets easier as you get out of your 20s and a lot of those girls catch up in the maturity department. I probably have more friends close to my age now than I ever have in my entire life so far.
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Quote:
Quote:
Some peoples children..I tell ya!!
Ditto! This is probably the reason I have way more guy friends than girl friends. And when you reach that stage when you're more mature than most of your friends - well, it plain sucks sometimes.
I've always been that way too....girls can be evil!!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Hiya,
It sounds like you and I have gone through something really similar. My "ex friend" did a lot of the same thing, holding all this insane stuff against me when the irony was that over the years, she has continuously been an AWFUL friend and yet she was holding really weird thing (some of which never even happened) against me. It's funny how people can do all these horrible things and then convince themselves they are justified in playing the victim.
I am also the same in that I don't miss her. In fact, as soon as she and I stopped hanging out and I didn't have to worry about her getting mad at me all the time, etc etc I felt a lot better, like a big weight had been lifted. The thing that bothers me is that it is making life with my _other_ friends awkward. Until this business of sleeping with her ex boyfriend, my other friend isn't usually like that.. so I was pretty p!ssed that I was losing her too just because of this other girl.
Anyway, sorry to ramble again. Thanks for the reply, glad to hear I am not alone in this but sorry to hear tht it had to happen to you too!!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Quote:
Quote:
Some peoples children..I tell ya!!
Ditto! This is probably the reason I have way more guy friends than girl friends. And when you reach that stage when you're more mature than most of your friends - well, it plain sucks sometimes.
Yeah, I used to always be the same! I was always hanging out with guys either more than or as much as girls, and I did enjoy it more. When I went away to England, though, the guys didn't really keep in contact as much so most of my Canadian guy friends and I aren't close at all anymore. Plus, a lot of those friendships were kinda "flirtyflirty" so I felt awkward about hanging out with them now that I am with Adrian.
I should invest in some new guy friends, though. Much less drama!
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Some peoples children..I tell ya!!
Ditto! This is probably the reason I have way more guy friends than girl friends. And when you reach that stage when you're more mature than most of your friends - well, it plain sucks sometimes.
Yeah, I used to always be the same! I was always hanging out with guys either more than or as much as girls, and I did enjoy it more. When I went away to England, though, the guys didn't really keep in contact as much so most of my Canadian guy friends and I aren't close at all anymore. Plus, a lot of those friendships were kinda "flirtyflirty" so I felt awkward about hanging out with them now that I am with Adrian.
I should invest in some new guy friends, though. Much less drama! Find some gay guy friends...they are the BEST... trust me!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Yeah, I fully believe my one friend (We call her "Crazy Amy" now among us) has convinced herself that she's been victimized all these years, by her awful friends. It's almost funny! And she totally invented things too, like all these "parties" I had that she wasn't invited to!! On our last phone conversation I kept saying "Amy, that didn't happen" or "Amy, you're remembering wrong", and she'd just say "I see...". The weird thing is, she and her fiance (although they postponed the wedding) live in the same town as me and take the same train so I see them in the morning sometimes. I have to just pretend i don't see them.
We don't need crappy friends, right?!?!
Oh and sleeping with someone's ex, even if it's an ex-friend's ex, is pretty sleazy, and I'd have a hard time if my friends did that.
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Some peoples children..I tell ya!!
Ditto! This is probably the reason I have way more guy friends than girl friends. And when you reach that stage when you're more mature than most of your friends - well, it plain sucks sometimes.
I've always been that way too....girls can be evil!!
Yeeesss... I can be very evil.. er.. I mean, yes! They can be. LOL
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- Jennifer
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You'll find new friends, hon, let them go. So petty - who needs it??? Life is too short. Hang in there!!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Some peoples children..I tell ya!!
Ditto! This is probably the reason I have way more guy friends than girl friends. And when you reach that stage when you're more mature than most of your friends - well, it plain sucks sometimes.
I've always been that way too....girls can be evil!!
Yeeesss... I can be very evil.. er.. I mean, yes! They can be. LOL
LOL you know I was not talkin about YOU!!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Steph some people just don't grow up. There are group of moms at my kid's school who still haven't grown up. They run the PTA, decide who their kids can play with. This group of moms have nothing to do with me, and quite frankly I don't know what I did to offend them.
Their boys are the same boys who have been bulling my 10 year old for two years.
You need to hang out with the people who enjoy being around you and focus on those friendships. Cattie girls are not worth hanging around with.
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Stephie!! I can't believe how awful those girls are! I hope that you won't take it personally - people that can't seem to grow up have a really hard time being around people that have. They resent that you can't be as vain and back-stabbing as they are. I mean, how dare you be mature and gracious? It's total garbage 
I think that you're awesome - I wish that you lived in this area, 'cause I bet we'd have a blast. No snobbery here, no way! You've got the kind of personality that can attract good, fun-loving people. Don't despair over the old friends; get out and find some who know how to act their age! Best of luck to you sweetie - I hope that you feel better!
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~*Amber*~
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