Just got MAJORLY stabbed in the back by a ..."FRIEND"
#186979 - 06/17/05 01:08 PM
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This is the email she sent me...
Dear Tina:
Deep inside, I think you know what you did and why everything is unravelling.
I felt [EX-BF] and his sister needed to know the truth about Tommy. If they really meant as much to you as you said, you would've been the one to tell them, especially [EX-BF].
As soon as you told me the truth, I should've told you that [EX-BF] deserved that same honesty. Then tell you to tell him or I would.
You didn't, so I told Derek (her husband and EX's best friend) and out of loyalty he told [EX-BF].
Ann
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I am SOOOOOOOOO mad. I NEVER cheated on the EX with Tommy. Aaagghh!!!! 
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Oh my Lord, who is this person? is she a close friend? I cannot bear it when people take it upon themselves to tell the 'truth' !!! I for one can vouch that nothing happened with you both tell you had left your ex...
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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how did you respond?
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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She is soemone who always called me her "forever friend" and I knew her for 8 years!
I am soooo mad, Dalia. I am in such shock!!! I never would have imagined her to do this in a million years. I trusted her!!  
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My first email back was:
"What? Ann, I am SHOCKED!!! I'm sorry but I don't think we can remain friends. I trusted you."
My 2nd:
"You are no longer invited to my movie night or birthday. Please do not ever contact me again. I am EXTREMELY disappointed in you Ann. It was NOT your place to get into my PERSONAL business.
I can't even believe YOU of all people did this to me Ann. You should be ashamed of yourself."
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did this all unfold today? who is derek? is he a friend of your ex and her man?
its awful what she did. where is she getting the thought that you cheated on your ex with tommy? why is she so self righteous?
you must have smoke coming out of your ears. has the ex contacted you?
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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I do have smoke coming out of my ears!!!
Derek is her hubbie and my ex's best friend. but she PROMISED me she would never share anything with him. She even continued to be friends with me until today. What a @#$%!!!!
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what a cow. sounds like she has her priorities wrong. her loss, not yours. but still painful. so sorry tina. thats yucky.
how are you other then that? oh my lord, I never emailed you back. I am evil!
San Fran was amazing, what a beautiful city. I would move there in a second if it wasn't so far from my loved ones (London and Israel). The natural beauty is gorgeous as is the architecture and all the hills! The restaurants are better in NY though!
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Yes, her loss and now I know what her true colours are...
I LOVED San Fran. It's gorgeous!!! Lucky you! 
I am ok. Looking forward to going out for dinner with a friend in 6 minutes and having a relaxing weekend. I hope!
Thanks for your support in this Dalia, it's so nice to vent. I hope you're doing well!
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Sara-Sage:
Where does she get off? What a ---ch. I just don't get it. What's her motivation? What's in it for her. If "cruelty had a human hear and jealousy a human face..." I think that face and that heart would be hers. Bravo for eliminating her from your sphere of socialization. She must be twisted.
I hope you recover.
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To Wind
#186991 - 06/17/05 01:29 PM
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I don't know??? Why hurt the EX to rub his face in my new happiness??? Like he'd want to know all about my new BF? That's kinda MEAN!!!
I think she is jealous or something??? I don't know....
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He woulda deserved it if you HAD cheated on him the way he treated you. I have smoke coming out of MY ears too!!!!!!
Anyone who knows you knows you wouldn't cheat! She obviously doesn't know you very well...
i'm sorry you are hurting! We ALL love you Tina....
I gotta get back to Shabbos prep...but I HAD to respond!
Love ya *hugs*
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
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That's literally treating someone like a dog, to rub someone's nose in something, to deliberately attempt to inflict emotional pain or response or action. Is she fishing for something? Does she want your EX? It's just inexplicabley cruel. It sounds like there's more to the story that she'll make sure you'll find out about later in some way, shape, place or form.
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We all know you didn't cheat with Tommy!! You know what? Screw her. You so don't need the drama, and if she feels she needs to write you a 'note' and won't accept the truth, she doesn't deserve a great friend like you. She doesn't know what she's missing. When people break up, friends choose sides. Sometimes it sucks, but it's easier to make a CLEAN break than deal with a soul sucking hanger-on ad infinitum.
We'll back you up any day. Don't get upset with that slag. You got the grand prize which was TOMMY anyway!
~nelly~
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We know you didn't cheat and never would. We're behind you 100%. You don't need a friend like that. Screw her.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Hey Tina, I've learned some great moves in kickboxing.... should I get some use out of them on Ann for ya!?!?!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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SS...
#187004 - 06/17/05 01:59 PM
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Sheri01
Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey
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you are right, the only reason there would have been to tell your ex about tommy was if you wanted to brag and make him feel jealous. YOU were being more responsible! The only way it would have been relevant was if you cheated on him with Tommy, or broke up with him for Tommy, neither are true.
I don't know the whole story, but I assume that meeting Tommy put more of your unsatisfying relationship into perspective for you... you were talking bout being unhappy with your Ex A LONG time before I even remembering you and Tommy talking on the boards.
With friends like that, right? Maybe she was just looking for attention and needed to deliver the juicy gossip.
What a b@#$&.
Forget about her! She will be lucky if you ever forgive her, her first responsibility was to be a good friend to you.
((HUGS))
have a nice weekend sweetie. getting stabbed sucks. What a way to start off a friday after noon, right?
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-Sheri
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I agree...
#187012 - 06/17/05 02:13 PM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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That's just cruel, and whatever motivations she's hiding behind her high-and-mighty attitude are just plain f'd up.
Not to mention she's full of 'it. Her timeline is all wrong.
What a twit.  I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that!
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ewww puke ewwww
I like how she says.. "when YOU told her you cheated"
how did she get that idea!?!?!?
did she email you back?
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I have had a rough two weeks (don't want to get into details just yet) but then to hear what this individual said about Tina just put me over the edge. I am just as upset as Tina. Our relationship DID NOT start until AFTER she and her ex broke up. FOr this woman, and I use that term lightly to say this stuff about us is reprehensible. I am glad I am not in Ottawa this weekend otherwise might tell her off in person. But, luckily I will be in Ottawa in 20 days for Tina's birthday. THings will have cooled off by then.
THank you all for your words of support for Tina. She is really upset and it is killingme that I can't be there for her. Thanks all again for being so supportive of her!
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What an awful, awful thing to do. Just infuriating. I totally feel for you 'cause I've been through the exact same thing, and I agree with what everyone else has said. I think you were totally right to tell her to take hike, there is no need to keep high-on-their-horse people like that around in your like.
How completely insulting to both you, Tommy and your relationship. It is really disrespectful and you're right, she should be totally ashamed of herself.
I hope you can get over the way she has hurt you, but not take anything to heart because you know what really happened, we know what really happened AND she has obviously proved how much of a "friend" she really is.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and to Tommy as well as he is obviously upset by this as well. You guys are great people as individuals, and such a lovely couple.. you'll pull through this and bid farewell to people who don't want the very best for you.
**hugs**
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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I'm so sorry....
#187063 - 06/17/05 07:36 PM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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That there are people in this world that do things like this to people they supposedly care for. *SENDS MAJOR HUGS* Unfortunately, I've been caught in similar situations before, and the thing to remember is people like this are not worth it. Not worth your time, not worth your energy, not worth the stress. Forget about her.
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Just wanted to pipe in for a sec and be the voice of reason here-- It is MUCH better that you know she is not a true friend. The best way to get even is to spend not one more iota of your time thinking about her.
This can be achieved between the 6th and 7th alcoholic drink...
OK, just kidding. Let's slam her some more in hopes that ex-bf will read this and get back to her! HA HA HA HAHAAH HAH!!
~nelly~ Talkin' smack
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Tina,
I think everythings pretty much been said, but I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. You really don't need friends like her (not that it makes it hurt any less). (((((((hugs))))) to both you and Tommy. We all know you didn't cheat and that's the main thing
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Amy
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Tina,
I am sorry that you have to deal with all of this. Unfortunately this is an experience that many of us have had. It is very hurtful and hard to understand why someone who is supposed to care about you would do such a thing. Life is too short to have to deal with people like this.
I think you made a good decision to no longer be friends with her. She doesn't deserve to have you for a friend.
She didn't live with you and your ex so she really has no idea what life was like for you. She has no right to say anything to your ex about your life now. Did she honestly think that you would not move on and find someone else?
Try not to worry about her and stress over her. I know that is difficult to do right now but it will get easier. Your life is moving forward in a positive way. Maybe she is jealous.
Hugs
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Janey
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Ahh, Tina. Some people just like to cause problems. I know this hurts, but just try to forget about it ---and her. It's not worth your time and effort worrying about.
You will be much better off getting ---and keeping---her out of your life!
I hate to see you so upset about this. It's not doing you (and your tummy) any good. Try to think about pleasant things today and put this behind you! You have Tommy and a great future ahead of you!
Women like this are usually very jealous!!!
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Oh, Tina! That's an awful thing to have happen to you and Tommy. It can only make you two stronger though!
I'm glad you cut your "friend" off. Sometimes people are just better out of your life, if they can't behave like adults, they don't deserve adult company.
We all know here that you and Tommy are two straight-up, honest, faithful good people. I hope this unpleasantness fades quickly for you so you can get on with having a great time together. 
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*Emma*
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{{{Hugs}}}
#187212 - 06/18/05 10:54 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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What a green bitch cow. [Hey I like that...bitch-cow...my new insult! ]
I'm afraid she does NOT deserve to be a friend...to either you or ex-BF. Jeez. I so hate [censored]-stirrers who say/think they are doing it in the name of doing "the right thing". Nope, it's just [censored]-stirring and hurting other people's feelings just for the power kick.
Honey, you're a sweetheart, your ex got a bit OTT towards the end, you split, you found someone new and fantastic. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF THAT!
Get mad and then move on. PS. I find thinking about getting a voodoo doll very satisfying!
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we'll call to her house and sort her out.
I'll talk straight- she has chosen between your ex and you and she has made the wrong decision.
You have moved on now too, and are happy with our Tommy. Forget about her. I "broke up" with a one of my closest friends in February, its horrid but worth it.
hugs
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S.
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Tina,
I feel so bad for you having to go through this. I know it takes time to get over a friendship ending, but I hope that it goes quickly for you.
Additionally Tommy you should be leading classes on how to be an excellent boyfriend! I wish you both the best.
-Michelle
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What a horrible thing to do!!! I can't believe she did that!!
You have every right to be upset and majorly pissed!!
Say whatever you have to say to her and get it off your chest and then move on....she's obviously not a friend and not worth wasting your time on.
And feel good about the fact that you've made great decisions for yourself and now have a great boyfriend and an awesome apartment!! You've done nothing wrong so screw her!!
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Hey guys, Tina wanted me to thank you all for all the kind words. She doesn't have internet access over the weekends but I read to her what everyone wrote and she was touched.
She is not at work today because she has a nasty stomach bug. This is what s*cks about doing the LD thing. I can't be there to check up on her and take care of her. Oh well, soon enough I can take care of her whenever she is sick. But thanks again everyone, Tina and I really appreciate it!
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hmm what do you mean soon enough you'll take care of her whenever she's sick..
is there something we don't know!!???? haha
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Uh oh... Nope, no new announcements of that caliber coming anytime soon. I should have said that I can't wait for the day to take care care of her.
No stirring the pot there Ash! 
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haha oh ok! soooorrry!
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No problem. I know all you guys want the best for us. Tina is a great gal and I am lucky to have her. Just remember, we're not Katie Holmes and Tom Crusie. No engagements after 6 weeks or whatever they are together. And plus, I still think Katie and Tom are a sham although Tina disagrees!
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People feel powerful and important when they have news to spread, even if it's false. This woman is obviously insecure and she's using private information about your personal life to boost her social status. You're better off not socializing with friends of your ex's anyway, and her disloyalty makes that step much easier. You know the old saying: with friends like that, who needs enemies ...
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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All of your support means the world to me. Tommy read me all your responses on the weekend since I don't have computer access at home. I was very touched!
I am going to forget about this person and concentrate on the GREAT people and things in my life.
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Ashley
#187709 - 06/21/05 07:30 AM
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Nope, I haven't heard back from her. Which is fine by me. She isn't a friend and I won't waste any tiem on her.
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Tommy
#187711 - 06/21/05 07:32 AM
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I know Tommy. It all boils down to being none of her business! I never cheated as I have my own personal ethics that I live by.
Hey, I've got you and you're WAAAAAAAY better than any of them!
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