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Kate new
      #184948 - 06/08/05 10:41 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

I don't know what to say. You have been such a source of light in my darkness. Reminding me to breathe...so crucial!

Thank you for having faith in me...when I do not have faith in myself.

I must go to bed now...but I sent you an e-mail. Please keep in touch, my kindred spirit!

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Formerly known as Ruchie

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You have made my day! new
      #184970 - 06/09/05 05:49 AM
bamagirl

Reged: 04/02/04
Posts: 1407
Loc: Alabama

What a blessing and a testimony to the healing power of Christ's love! AMEN! Ruchie: Check out Psalms 103 and see what awesome forgiveness God provides no matter how dark our circumstance! Thanks for this wonderful testimony!!

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God is Faithful!

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Sweetheart! new
      #184972 - 06/09/05 06:08 AM
Linz

Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England

I'd be getting cross with you right now if it wan't for how I know it is so not your fault that your brain's a bit lost! God, or whatever you want to call him/her/it, will love you no matter what you do!!!!!! It is not a test. It is not your fault, You cannot fail. Even Catholics (who have such a guilt thing going on) believe that you can repent and God will forgive you no matter what you've done.

The Christian (and Jewish?) perspective is that God gave humans free will...and like all young, humans make mistakes. The people who abused you made big mistakes in taking such liberties with their free will and one day they will have to reconcile that with their conscious' in front of God (I believe that when you die, God gives even soulless people a conscious so they can know just what they've done and see it with no barriers). You did nothing wrong, you are not being punished, you were just damn unlucky.

God gave humans this free will and it's all a bit messed up, but he puts beauty and love into the lives of those who deserve it so that they can have some good in their life no matter what happens to them. You have a loving husband, you have a gorgeous dog, you have us lot, you have your poems and your painting and your singing. Try to hang on to the beauty in your life and see God in that. Everything he created is beautiful. He loves you and he's trying to show that.

Think about how little kids can sometimes push their parents away and scream "I hate you". Their parents still love them and will do no matter what they do, no matter how much they ignore the signs of their love. That's how I see God and humans...he made us, we are his children.

Oh hon, I hope you can find some peace.

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Augie new
      #184985 - 06/09/05 06:38 AM
poochibelly

Reged: 04/27/05
Posts: 1614


God wants you to totally rely on Him and when you conquer what ails you, give Him the glory. Trust me, I have been abused, nearly raped, suffered marital problems, infertility just to name a few.

Because of my faith in God and knowing that He will see me through even the darkest times, I am now at peace in my life. I remember the abuse but use my experiece to counsel others, I have forgiven the geek that would have raped me had I not had a roomate in the apt., my marriage has been restored and I have adopted two beautiful children.

I had to give God full control of my life and lay my burdens at His feet only to never take them back.

Was this healing in my life instant? No...it is all a process. Little by little...baby steps. Stay faithful Augie, you can do it.

I am nowhere near as eloquent as Michelle...but the peace in my heart is pure poetry and I do give God the glory because no human being could have brought me from my past to my present...it was only God.

Hugs to you,

--------------------
Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!


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Ruchie- new
      #184992 - 06/09/05 07:10 AM
khyricat

Reged: 08/05/04
Posts: 3612
Loc: Michigan

lots of hugs and strength if you can take it from me.. I wish I could give it.. at least your DH is being there for you... I am very impressed with him.. and wish I could offer more up close support..

*HUG*

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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant


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Prayers for you Ruchie - and encouragement.... new
      #184998 - 06/09/05 07:23 AM
mindyj

Reged: 05/14/04
Posts: 494
Loc: Northern Virginia

Ruchie...
I've taken refuge in these verses many times!!! In fact, I have two of these passages taped on my office wall! I hope they will encourage you and remind you that you are LOVED, you are PROTECTED, you are CHERISHED! G-d delights in YOU Ruchie!!!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
Jeremiah 29:11-14

The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot arrows and scattered the enemies , bolts of lightning and routed them. The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at the rebuke of the LORD, at the blast of breath from his nostrils. "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. II Samuel 22:14-20

You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my G-d turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my G-d I can scale a wall. As for G-d, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is G-d besides the LORD ? And who is the Rock except our G-d? It is G-d who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. Psalm 18:28-35

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
Psalm 32:7-8

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my G-d, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation." Psalm 91:1-16



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My dream...am I looking at it correctly? new
      #185013 - 06/09/05 07:47 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

My Rabbi left a message on my answering machine that I should pray to G-d to help me accept my circumstances and to accept my lot in life (he did say over and over again that it was/is NOT my fault and that I didn't do ANYTHING to deserve it...still grappling with that though), and I've been learning Torah a lot to try to get through this. I had a dream last night after I prayed for the 1st time in a LONG time by the Book (Siddur)! I put a LOT of stock in my dreams. They have been so vivid all my life...I've even had dreams of people dying and they died WHILE I was dreaming (scary, I know!)

The dream: We were going to be attacked by terrorism (the world at large), and the world was going to end. I read it on a calendar. BUT then someone showed it to me again...and it said that WE were going to attack THEM (the terrorists) on that day. I had read it wrong! The significance for me is that in this world what happened to me was awful and horrible. But in the next world (we believe in a next world...kinda like heaven), we will learn of G-d's ways and I will see the good in what happened to me. I'm glad for the dream and I feel like G-d is with me--finally!

Is this a realistic interp. of the dream? What do you all think?


--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

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Re: My dream...am I looking at it correctly? new
      #185018 - 06/09/05 07:52 AM
Linz

Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England

Maybe it's me saying so much that the world will not end if you make a little mistake (like kill your plants)!

Also, maybe it's b/c your subconscious is realising that often see bad in a situation that's not there but with other people's help you can see the good that's there too???

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Re: My dream...am I looking at it correctly? new
      #185290 - 06/09/05 06:06 PM
Wind

Reged: 04/02/05
Posts: 3178


I think the dream shows you reclaiming your power re: your life, especially your past. It shows you transforming your energy of fear and anxiety into a vehcile for positive transformation so that you may own your future and a more enlightened, reconciled view re: your past experiences. It is called hopefully what therapy will assist you with. You will take back control of your life, of the present and steer yourself with G-d to a WONDERFUL future, stronger because of the suffering you endured. Indeed, a very positive dream. Your supra-consciousness is trying to encourage your subconscious mind, to show you that you can be strong and that the power to change is in you. It's telling you/showing you that you can win.

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Re: Please pray new
      #185292 - 06/09/05 06:40 PM
Stephany

Reged: 06/07/05
Posts: 35


I'm so sorry, Ruchie. I've been so wrapped up in my own, ridiculous fears today that I didn't realize you were in so much pain. I'm not sure what happened to you, but I will keep you in my prayers. I do wish you the best of luck and hope that things get better for you soon.

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