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... the amount of support I have received has been amazing. Thank you so much.
Thank you also to Beaglelover, Joy and Lana-marie for sharing your own experience. It's good to hear that others who have been there felt the same and so I know that what I am feeling is normal.
Beaglelover, I can't tell you of the enormous sense of relief I felt when you said you still think of your baby 19 years later. A burden lifted from my shoulders at those words because now I know it's Ok for me to rememeber my babies alsways too. I have had so many people telling telling me to stay positive and move on but I have come to realise that I can move on but I don't have to forget the babies I wanted so dearly while doing so. Thank you for giving me that peace.
And so I am continiung on this journey and it has gotten a little easier. I think part of my heart will be broken for some time but I know I'll be OK.
Kerrie
xx
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Isn't this the most amazing "place"? I know I don't post nearly as often as many others, but I am always touched by how much caring there is among people from literally all over the world who have never even met! I am glad things are feeling a bit better for you, Kerrie. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Andie
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It is so great to hear you sound more positive Kerrie.
I have friends who lost their baby at four months and they had a private funeral for him. My friends have a memoir box of him, which includes a blanket, photos and other items. They did this so their baby will always be part of their lives in memory.
My point is people probably mean well when they say move on, but you can not choose to forget the two babies who were part of you life for a short peroid of time.
If you haven't already, I encourage you to start journaling your infertility experience and your feeling towards your lost babies. You will always have the journals to read.
Barb
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I actually did use a journal when I was experiencing my miscarriages. I read them again this year when my husband and I were moving. It makes me realize how far I have come. I was really depressed as anyone would be. If you have not started a journal I would highly recommend doing so. It helps to get your feelings down on paper and off of your chest.
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lovejoy_22
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Re: Yes it is
#17929 - 08/20/03 11:46 PM
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KinOz
Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 909
Loc: Brisbane, Australia
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I have actually thought about trying to write a book all about infertility and IVF( and I guess I can add miscarriage to the list now too) and particularly infertility when you already have one child . That is sometimes hard because you come into contact with others who don't have any children and sometimes I almost feel guilty- like I'm being greedy or something. Also, people assume the experience is not as upsetting because you do already have a child.
Anyway, I'm getting off track. I don't know whether I could do a good enough job for it to be actually published but thought I might do it for myself anyway.
Kerrie
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Don't feel guilty about wanting more Children....you would be a wonderful mom and have a right to as many children as you want...I really hope you didn't get that idea from my post....I have just seen parents grieve and put so much energy into the children they lost and forget about the ones they do have....not saying that's what you have done!! NO Way!
I apologize if that's my post that made you think that.
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Gosh, don't think that.  It's just a general feeling I have encountered from time to time.
Kerrie 
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Kerrie, I've been thinking of you and praying for you since the attempted implantation of the babies. When you weren't on for so long I was afraid it was bad news, and it was. I'm so sorry. You have every right to grieve as long as you need--you lost two babies! They'll be in your heart the rest of your life. You are so brave to now go through the process again. We will all be thinking of you, rooting for you, and praying for you. God bless you.
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