Terri
#150403 - 02/15/05 12:37 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Gosh, your husband sounds like an amazing person! I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. I have been in worse pain today. I went shopping---and I'm ok as long as I'm walking, but as soon as I got in the car, it started back up. I drove home, hugging the steering wheel, trying to get the pressure off the nerve, and feeling like I was going to pass out. I get this feeling of "I'm going to either throw up or pass out---whichever, but something has to make me feel better."
The pain med the doctor gave me is the Lortab, the 7.5 mg. like your husband takes. I took one last night, and still woke up with this hot, piercing pain in my back! I'm also taking the bipolar med which normally makes me sleep well, but not with this pain. I have heard that the amitriptyline is good for sleeping and pain. I will have to ask the doctor about that. I think it's an anti-depressant and I can't take those because of my bipolar disorder.
I'm embarrassed to say this but I'm driving down the road, talking myself into wanting to be here. I'm have to keep telling myself that I do want to be here to see my son graduate in June. I am panicking because I am having feelings of wanting to "check out."
The physical therapy made the pain worse, the pain medication doesn't help and the doctor says he can't do anything to help me. What do you do then? A friend suggested I see a neurologist or a neurosurgeon since they specialize in nerve problems. Has your husband had any experience with this? Or is his pain not nerve-related?
Thank you for your input. I really really appreciate it. I feel like I'm drowning. Everyone keeps telling me I need to deal with this, but I'm not doing a very good job of this.
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Yes, my husband has been to a neurologist. That's who gave him the Gabapentin to try. That is really great stuff for the pain. Better than anything.
But, like I said, the side effects were too much for my husband. He has neurogenic claudication from nerve damage due to diabetes and his spinal problems. Your friend is right. If you're not pleased with your treatment thus far, then by all means, see a neurologist. Evenutally, someone will find the right combination that will work for you. Just don't give up; no matter what.
My husband also goes to a pain management clinic. That's who gave him the lortab/amitrip combination.
Oh my gosh, I know how hard this is for you. I watched my husband suffer for a long time before he finally got some relief. He still lives with pain, but at least he can sleep now. I didn't realize that you might have troubles taking Amitriptyline with your other meds. But, still, DON'T GIVE UP! There's something, somewhere that will help you!
Have you tried a chiropractor? I see one for my own back troubles. Also, you haven't tried the cortisone shots yet and lots of people find relief with them. My husband had one round of them, and they didn't help him much. But, it's still something you might want to consider.
Just don't quit trying. There is an answer and God will lead you to it. I feel for you so much!
Terri
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I'm feeling better right now. Sorry. I know you ladies think I'm crazy. One minute I'm fine, and the next, I'm sobbing and hysterical---and this is without PMS. My moods are swinging back and forth.
I've been waiting on a call all day from the psychiatrist that treats me for bipolar disorder. I wanted to ask him if the cortisone shot would be ok for me. They can induce mania in a bipolar person.
I left both my home phone # and my cell phone # with their office. Would you believe I was upstairs at home and heard my cell phone ringing in my purse downstairs? I ran downstairs but didn't get to it in time (it was buried in my purse!) ---and it was the doctor's office calling. Why in the heck didn't they call my home number too? I just called and left another message on their voice mail.
Also, my sister had a serious reaction to a cortisone shot last year. So I am very nervous about getting one.
I will wait to see what he suggests.
Hopefully, tonight will be a better night for me. I just went to Target and bought me a small down throw. I have been so buried in blankets at night that if I get up out of the recliner, I trip all over them. Hopefully, this will be warm and cozy---and safer!!!! It was only $17 on sale.
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Hi, bl!
#150499 - 02/15/05 04:25 PM
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MissS
Reged: 02/11/04
Posts: 837
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Oh, that's right. I forgot you said that cortisone shots might not be good for you.
Isn't that just the pits when you miss a call like that? I hate when that happens!
I don't think you're crazy at all. No way!!!! I'm just glad you're having some good moments.
No matter what mood you're in, or what kind of pain you're having; I am here to support you. That's what these boards are all about. I'm hoping so much that you have a great night tonight.
You're in my prayers and thoughts,
Terri
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Terri,
You are too sweet! You have been so nice---and so supportive of me and I really appreciate it. You don't know how much it means to me. I have a group of ladies in my neighborhood that meets every Tuesday for coffee, and although I enjoy getting together with them, they have not been very supportive of me lately.
One of the other ladies pulled a muscle in her back recently and she went to physical therapy for 2 weeks---and yep, she was all better! So when they ask how I am, and I tell them it's not getting any better and in fact, has gotten worse, I
get these looks from them like "Geez, get over it!" I think they think I enjoy whining about it. They can't even begin to imagine how much pain I am in.
Today, one of them said "Just call the doctor and have him prescribe a muscle relaxant." I tried to explain that 2 muscle relaxants and 4 Advil (in one gulp!) didn't do the trick---but they don't understand. I've given up trying to explain.
Ahhh, an invisible handicap, as I call it. This afternoon, I went to Marshall's to get another one of these bras I had bought there the other day. I accidentally dropped it on the floor, and I was in too much pain to bend over and get it. I finally asked this teenage girl if she would pick it up for me. (I tried to explain that I had something wrong with my back.) She looked at me like I was such a nerd! Oh well, one day she will be old and falling apart too!
Ahhh, to be young and healthy again ....
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to bl
#150595 - 02/15/05 08:38 PM
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MissS
Reged: 02/11/04
Posts: 837
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That's sad about what happened to you in Marshall's. We face that kind of thing ALL the time. My hubby can't even put his own socks on anymore. It's very hard to cope with chronic conditions. This all just hit us out of the blue; very unexpectedly.
Our friends have not been supportive at all of my hubby. They just have a very hard time with it. His best friend of 30 years, still hasn't accepted the fact that my husband can't walk very far at all. He STILL calls to invite him to go places like car shows and things like that. He just doesn't understand that Rick is disabled now. We've lost our friends, really, because of this. That makes it even harder for Rick, but he has a good attitude about things. He just tries everyday to make it as good a day as possible. (Today, we had a bad day pain wise!)
Well, at least you are not alone. Believe me, there's somebody here in Kansas who knows you're not crazy, you're not faking it, and it can be VERY painful!
And I know this is a very hard time for you.
You're going to make it through this. You really are!
Terri
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Terri
#150660 - 02/16/05 06:31 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Ahh, putting socks on! That is so painful for me now so I can relate to that. My feet were freezing this morning (in the recliner) and I almost asked my husband if he would put my socks on my feet, but I was afraid he'd think I was crazy! I can do it, but it would really hurt.
I feel for your husband ----with his friends. It really is an invisible handicap. If he were wearing a cast on his leg, people would be more sympathetic, but when you have back problems, no one can see it so they don't understand. When you turn down an offer to do something with your friends, they keep asking you, like they think it's only a temporary thing, and not something you deal with on a daily basis. It's very frustrating because you want to do things with your friends, but you are very limited to what you can do. That makes it so hard!
I have gotten frustrated lately because my husband still expects me to do what I've always done. Over the weekend, he wanted me to go out of town to watch our son play in a golf tournament (meaning walk 18 holes on the golf course.) I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
Ever since he went to the doctor with me Monday and saw the MRI films, he has been muh more understanding. When he saw in black and white what my discs looked like and how one was touching the nerve, well .... let's just say that changed his attitude.
Your husband is very fortunate to have you. Not every spouse would be so loving and supportive. My husband and one son are very active. They golf, play basketball, etc. I'm very afraid of our future together because I don't want to stifle what they can do. I feel like I'm going to be sitting at home a lot while they are involved in some activity. How do you and your husband manage? Is he confined to the house all of the time?
Our youngest son is going off to college in the fall, and my husband and I will finally have some time just to ourselves. I was hoping we could travel, but right now, I can't even sleep in my own bed or walk down my own street. So I don't see us taking many trips together. Even riding in the car hurts!
I don't mean to sound like I'm whining. I just need to work through this. This is therapy for me to put what I'm feeling down in writing.
Thanks for listening! It is so nice to know someone who understands.
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I've taken Mobic, this anti-inflammatory medicine, the past two nights for my back. Last night, I could tell it had really made a difference. I slept so much better.
But I woke up in the middle of the night with very sharp pains in my stomach!!! One of the side effects of this medicine is gastro-intestinal bleeding, so I was scared to death.
I've put in a call to the doctor's office to see what they suggest. I'm afraid to take it again. It wasn't nausea or diarrhea like you have many times starting a new medicine, this was sharp pains shooting through my abdomen.
If it's not one problem, it's another....
Anyone ever taken this med?
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Re:BL honey,,,
#150745 - 02/16/05 09:53 AM
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gigi
Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas
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I know from what you have said that I do not have the same type of pain that you do. OH, I am so sorry that you are suffering so much. I wish I had the magic answer to clear it all up and send it away. I do have back pain, and the depth of mine comes and goes depending on my level of activity and STRESS. I do not have the same syptoms that you do. but, I have gone without sleep for other reasons, and after a certain point, your mind starts to take over in a very wierd way. You think about things that you wouldnt on a regular day, your breathing is different. Your skin is different, everything is effected. I take ativan for sleep, it helps me tremendously, it doesnt matter what kind of pain I am in, it always does the trick. I cannot imagine any doctor having a problem giving you some, your BP doc should be the one. IT is kind of like xanax, but it works so much better for me, it just relaxes me all over, and shuts my brain down so I can get some rest. It also works great when my nerves have had alittle too much going on. Like you have lately.
Let me know honey, I am praying for you, I know how badly you need your rest, for many reasons. love to you !!!
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My husband cannot do everything we used to do. But, he has a wheelchair now, so we use that when we want to go to a movie or the zoo or any place that would require walking. There are times when just sitting will hurt him, but we try to adjust to his needs, where ever we're at. Ask your doctor for a handicap parking deal. It really does help a lot.
This whole thing has been a transition in process for us. Rick slowly gave in to using a cane, and then he eventually went to a wheelchair, with the cane as a supplement. It takes time to have everything happen and learn what you'll need. Be patient, and keep going. It will all fall into place.
We aren't confined to the house, but we won't go to places that might be hard to get around in with a wheelchair. We can't go for walks together anymore and there's a lot of things he just can't do. When we go shopping at Wal-Mart, he uses their electric chairs to get around. When we go to the store together, he sits up in the front, while I do the shopping. We've had to change how we do things. It's harder now to do anything, but I'd rather have it like this; than not have my husband at all. So, the answer to your question. Yes, we stay home more. But, we don't miss out on what we really want to do and we still try to have fun.
Eventually, this will all work out for you. I'm glad your husband went with you to the doctor. I agree that helps. It helped me to see what my husband was really going through. I had a hard time accepting it at first and just didn't want to believe it. I remember expecting him to keep doing what he'd always done. Oh, yes, I just refused to believe he couldn't do it. Just don't push yourself beyond what you feel comfortable with and eventually your husband will learn to accept your chronic condition and help you. Going to the doctor with you is a good idea!
I don't always do things I want to do, because I won't risk hurting my husband just so I can satisfy myself. In other words, if it were to hurt his feelings for me to go play a round of golf, then I won't do it. I know that's not a popular attitude these days, but I can't help it. That's how close we are to each other now. He's the same way with me!
We have found that each day for Rick is a new day. He has good and bad days. Some are almost pain free, and others are tough. But, since getting past the initial shock of it all we have now eased into our new life.
Please don't apologize for "whining". Believe me, bl, I KNOW you're not whining at all. You're scared, in shock, and trying to sort all of this out. Talking is wonderful therapy and I will be here to help you any way I can. You know what? It helps me, too.
I haven't found anybody else who really understands what this can do to your life. Those closest to us often seem to think it's not as bad as it is. Afterall, a backache doesn't sound so bad, does it? Ha!!! It can be so debilitating and excruciating for the one suffering.
So, you just keep talking all you want. I've got time to listen to you everyday and I want to. Been there, doing that!
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