Feeling a bit sad today
#148901 - 02/11/05 07:03 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Well, I just need some happy vibes sent my way if you don't mind! Today is the due date of my second baby, it would have been a healthy baby girl had my body been able to carry her. All week I have been getting samples in the mail of diapers and formula, things I must have signed up for when I was pregnant. I was hoping to get by this without having a major meltdown. I did take a Xanax this morning as I have to be at work all day and we have patients schedule and my boss is in so I have to pretend nothing is the matter and I'm finding that harder to do than I thought.
I am positive about the future with all the testing I'm doing. I feel good about the chances of me having a baby with in the next year but thats not really comforting me much today. I'm trying to hold the tears back, at leat, until I get home tonight but its a struggle. So, if you could all send some happy thoughts my way to help me get thorugh this day, I would be forever greatful! Thanks for everyones continued. Lots of love to all!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you, Michele... hang in there, and I'm sending all the good thoughts I can possibly muster up!
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Of course we can send happy vibes your way! :-)
Lets see...where to begin
If you get a chance...maybe make a list of things you are greatful for (maybe if you get a break?) That seems to help me and I end up smiling the more I add to the list. I put things like flowers, tea, stuff like that (but part of the game is...no negativity allowed!) 
When I'm feeling sad (remember, I can't even try to have kids yet...), I close my eyes and picture the ocean or a tranquil setting and this calms me down and warms my heart.
Do a search on google for flowers (I'm really into flowers!) or scenery and just gaze for 2 minutes!
Can you put on some soothing classical music at your desk...or some uplifting jazz? That might make you feel like you're doing something special just for you (which I highly recommend and enjoy when I'm blue!)
If I think of anything else I'll elt you know...
Rememebr Michele that we all love you! *hugs* And we're here for you...so post as often as you like...we never tire of hearing form you *hugs*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Michele, you're in my thoughts. You'll get through it. I promise.
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God is Faithful!
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Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you're sad today. I understand why you feel the way you do and I think it's perfectly normal and okay to be somewhat mournful. I would let myself mourn for a little while, and then kick in some of the ideas from Ruchie or whatever you can think of to make yourself feel better. Think of some positive things in your life.
Hope you'll soon be seeing sunny skies again,
Terri
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Michele, it's OK to be sad. I should be the mother of a 20 year old right now. I teach a class at my church that helps people thorugh difficult times and though in the past 10 years or so I have been OK, I was teaching and it occured to me that the next day would have been my baby's 20th birthday and I broke down and cried in front of everyone.
I just know that he and the two others that I have not been able to carry to term are in heaven and one day I will see them. It sounds cheesy but my faith is such that I see beyond the "cheesiness" and look forward to loving on them then. Boy my lap will be full!
We have adopted children and love being adoptive parents. I don't know any other way of parenting but I sure am glad that I have my little munchkins..not so little really, both are preteens.
I do know how you feel and so I hope that when you read this you don't feel so alone. Hugs,
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"puffy"
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Oh, Michele
#148928 - 02/11/05 08:36 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I know this must be really hard for you. I'm so sorry! Those of us who have been through a miscarriage know what this is like. The baby I lost would have been born in March---and I think about that every spring, even though it's been 20 years.
Becoming a mother will happen for you. I know it will. And you will be a terrific mom! Hang in there, sweetie~
((((Big hugs)))))
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AWWE Honey BIG HUGE HUGS!!! I am here if ya if you need to talk !!!! I will be thinking of you today!!!
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Heather7476
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Oh honey that has to be so hard! I know the pain and it is not a good feeling. Try to do something for yourself today. Maybe rent a good comedy tonight and snuggle in with some kind of treat. Remember you have lots of things to look forward to with all the new treatment you are undergoing. *hugs* and I hope you have great rest of the day!
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Very sorry to hear you're feeling sad today, Michele!  You have every right to feel sad and just know that you are in everyone's thoughts.
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- Jennifer
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Just knowing that all of you care and understand really helps. WIll just doesn't really understand. He won't even be home tonight but I'm going to stop at the video store on my way home from my swim class and pick up some good chick flicks and maybe even some chocolate! I'm still trying to lose weight but I think a little chocolate tonight is deserved!
I'm trying to stay "even" at work. I feel very edgy and short and I'm really having to work at being nice to people. The Xanax has kicked in and helped a bit but also made me a little tired since I haven't taken any Xanax in a while my body isn't used to it. I just have to remember to take deep breaths and be patient. I know I will get through this day as I have many other hard days in my life. Lets just hope I can keep it together at work.
My boss came in a bit cranky this morning and I snapped at him. I apologized and told him why I was upset and he said he would "be good" today  . He really is good to work for but he has his moments, as we all do, and he is also a guy! No offense to the guys here but they just don't "get" certain things when it comes to a womens feelings!
Ok, I'm rambling now, sorry. Just trying to stay occupied. Thanks again for all the support!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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So sorry
#148953 - 02/11/05 09:54 AM
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StephS
Reged: 09/11/03
Posts: 2123
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This must be a hard day for you. I'm truly sorry for the pain you have gone through this past year.
Thankfuly you have a great Doc now that is going to figure out how to get you a baby!!
Big hugs. Go out after work and do something for yourself.
Take care girl!
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So sorry Michelle! Chick flicks sound like a good idea! I have been wanting to catch up on movies, but I do not know if I am ready for a sappy chick flick right now, sometimes they make me feel more lonely. If you know of any good ones be sure to post them! I rented Sharks Tale last night, but about half way through my friend from the army called and Ichatted with him instead of finishing it, after we hung up I lost interest, so I am just gonna return it. hard for me to get into those kiddie movies, I know alot of people like them though. I also liked seeing Angelina Jolie as a fish. 
have fun at swim class, and it is good to hear that even though you are sad that you are still carrying through with your life today, true sign of a strong woman!
((HUGS))
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-Sheri
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Re: MEN!!
#148996 - 02/11/05 12:39 PM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Wel,, I was doing ok until WIll called just to say "hi." He asked why I sounded sad and I told him our baby was due today and his response was "which one? I wish you wouldn't keep track of those things!"  The due date of your baby is not something you just forget!! I didn't say much to him, I just said I was busy and had to go.
Than, he called back an hour or so later to tell me he is going to be home tomight after all. I almost wish he wasn't, is that a terrible thing to say? I don't want to have to explain to him why I'm sad and have to worry about him being mad about it.
I think I have been doing very well despite everything that has happened lately and I think I have a right to be sad once in a while without have to have him make me feel bad or guilty about it!
I know he loves me, he just doesn't see these things the same way as I do. Aw well, I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day! Its been VERY slow at the office and the day is dragging. With the Xanax I took earlier, I can hardley stay awake! With the boss here, I have to at least attempt to look busy. He just took a patient back so I thought I'd sneak in some computer time real quick! I just can't wait for this day to be over.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Michele!
#149004 - 02/11/05 12:51 PM
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RachelT
Reged: 07/01/04
Posts: 2350
Loc: Minnesota
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I don't have any infinite words of wisdom for you... I just really want to tell you I'm sorry. Men can be so inconsiderate sometimes, even when they don't mean it. Big hugs honey! I hope your weekend goes better and I hope you and Will have a happy Valentine's day!
HUGS!!!
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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Ok, I will channel happy thoughts to you!
As I said before, my mother had three miscarriages before she finally had me. Your time will come! 
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Re: Rachel
#149008 - 02/11/05 12:56 PM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Thanks sweetie, I know WIll wasn't TRYING to be a jerk but he can be so insensative sometimes!! GRR
I think I remember you said you got AF just recently, are you guys going to try again this month? Will you use the opks? Its all you this month, so GOOD LUCK!!! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Hi Michelle,
Just wanted to write in quickly that I've been thinking about you today and praying that this time will not be so difficult for you - but it's completely understandable that you have these feelings! I do want to say that you inspire me sometimes when I've seen that you are going through so many very difficult things with trying to have a baby and with recovery from your foot injury and with dealing with all the tummy crap that plagues us all, and you still come to the boards, not only to update us on how you're doing, but also to contribute and encourage others who arn't having such a good day or having tummy troubles or whatever. Your consideration for others is a gift! I hope you feel better soon and have a nice weekend...hope Will has something extra special planned for Valentines!! Big, big hugs to you!
Min
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and be here if you need me... email me and I'll get you my cell # if you want to talk..
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Aw, thanks min. You are too sweet! The kind words do help!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Oh Michelle. Big hugs. When you get home have a good cry to let it out then have a lavender bath and relax and de-stress a little. I'm so sorry.
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Amy
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Happy thoughts coming your way! I hope that you're feeling better and you have a nice relaxing weekend I'm also glad to hear that you've got a good RE looking into things for you!
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