I feel like such a loser...
#147406 - 02/07/05 07:50 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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Yesterday Adam was home sick with a migraine. He ended up sleeping all day. I was doubly worried - first about him, and then second because he calls in A LOT, and I have to worry about him losing his job because he's sick too often.
Then today he wakes up throwing up, and says he feels like he has the flu.  For those of you who don't know, I'm EXTREMELY emetophobic, so I'm holed up in my office, shaking like a leaf, completely freaking out because I think I'm going to get it... or that I'm already in the process of getting it, since I woke up this morning crampy and now I have D.
I'm only admitting this because I know there's other emetophobes on here who can sympathize... I otherwise feel like a real jerk for freaking out like this. I'm trying to reason with myself and calm myself down, but of course it really isn't working.
Sigh. 
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Casey-
First of all you are not a loser! So don't even think that for a second. You are one of the nicest kindest people I have ever met! As far as what you are going through I don't personally know from experience what it's like but as with anything I am sure it is hell. Try to calm down and breath!  You are already exposed so if you going to get sick you will no matter if you stress about it or not. I am big believer in the fact that you can make yourself catch something by obsessing about it. If I can make it in a classroom of 21 GERMY fifth graders then you can too! Take it easy today and rememeber YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!
*Hugs*
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When hubby gets sick I always want to sleep on the floor so I don't get what he has. I am always catching stuff. I had to quit teaching cause I caught what the kids had so much. And I wonder how much of this is psychological!? I always feel guilty when hubby gets sick for not wanting to kiss him or hug him... I don't think I have it as bad as you do...but I'm def. not normal about this stuff.
As far as worrying about Adam...is he ok? I would be worried too! Have you been able to talk to him about it?
Sorry, I'm fuzzy right now. This might not make much sense.
Anyway, Casey, you're a fantastic person! Please don't feel guilty for being YOU, ok? *hugs*
Love ya...
Keep us posted on how Adam...and you...are doing!
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Casey
#147432 - 02/07/05 08:48 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Please don't call yourself a loser! You are not a loser just because you have this phobia. I can relate, because I used to have a phobia about catching a cold. This happened after I had my nasal surgery and was having a hard time breathing. I would literally have a panic attack if I came in contact with someone who had a cold.
One of my neighbors brought me a pie she had just baked right after my surgery. Well, she made the mistake of telling me she had a cold---and I refused to take a bite of the pie! And a friend came by with her grandson who had a cold. The baby dropped his pacifer right by my foot. She asked me to pick it up---and I thought I was going to die. I refused to touch the thing! So I can understand your fear!!!
For some reason, this doesn't bother me anymore, but it did for several years.
You have got to get your mind off of this so that you don't make yourself sick thinking about it! Can you leave the house and get away from Adam for awhile? Get you some Lysol spray and wipes and wipe down the house!
You'll be just fine. Chances are, you won't get what he has. My son recently had a horrible stomach virus---and no one else in the family got it. So think positive!!!!
I'll say a prayer for you! ((((Hugs))))
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Don't feel like a loser!! I have exactly the same phobia. Whenever someone says they feel like throwing up or that they have thrown up recently I want to stay as far away as possible.
I also start to panic and start thinking I'm catching it. I start to feel symptoms that aren't even there!!
Unfortunately I have no solutions for this problem...but I can relate to what you're going through. *HUGS*
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Whenever I'm at a speaker and the person next to me starts coughing or sneezing I just want to get up and sit somewhere else. I never d cause I'm too afriad to hurt that person. But I always worry I will get what they have.
I'm glad you brought htis up Casey. I never knew there were other people like this too...
But I must say neither one of us is a loser. We just don't like being sick. Having IBS (and fibro for me), who can blame us?
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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That's what I take to ward off the leurgys...they make my Fibro so much worse.
I liked the anti-bac wipes and spray idea! Those things are great.
Good luck. And get better soon Adam! 
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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...the unseen ENEMY! Leurgys is one of my Mum's sayings from my childhood! 
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Oh, sweetie, I wish I could come be with you in your little office and hug you until you stop shaking! I'm so sorry you are so upset.
The D you are starting to have may be psychological. I believe we can make ourselves sick just by our minds reaction to our fear. Just consider the placebo effect of drugs and the powerful effect they have on our minds.
You may not get sick, but if you do, you will be okay and will deal with it and get over it. That's the worst that can happen, so please try and settle down and know that even if the worst does happen, you will get through it!
Please don't think you are a loser, sweetie! You are one of the most considerate, giving, heartfelt person I have ever met. We all have our phobias. I know that everytime I read anything on the boards about GI problems, I think I have that! Including Pelvic floor dyssingeria sp?, fibro, insulin sensitivity, etc. Remember how freaked out I was when I read about hiccups and I got so upset because I thought it was a sign of stomach cancer like the articles suggested? I am obsessed with figuring out my "problem" and treatments. Would you call me a loser? NO! Even though I feel like it. We need each other to get a reality check! You are human and this phobia is part of you, and we all love you, the whole package!
If this is an ongoing fear of yours, have you ever thought about going to the drugstore and buying those masks that you can put over your nose and mouth? The nurses wear them in the isolation rooms. You might feel silly, but it may help you to feel more protected and who the heck is going to see you besides Adam. Or, make Adam wear one! You could have these on hand for the future so you can get one on before you are even exposed.
How is poor Adam feeling? I hope his bosses are okay with his being sick. This is another fear of his jeapordizing his job that may be contributing to your emotional state and also to your tummy not feeling well. Poor thing. BTW, I don't think he would be jeapordizing his job. He can't help that he is sick. This time of year is the time for these bugs to be going around. So try not to jump to this conclusion. Try not to go to that place in your mind! I know, easier said than done.
Try to breath and no that no matter what, this will pass, it won't kill you, and that you have come through worse things before. You will get through this and things will return to normal again.
Keep us updated on both you and Adam.
Love and HUGS to you sweetie.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Casey, I'll have none of that talk here. You are NOT a loser. We all have our different issues. That is part of our makeup. It doesn't make us any less of a person at all. So anyway, I hope you are feeling ok and just remember we all know you're an awesome person!
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I so understand, honey! My roommate actually ends up throwing up a lot (randomly, I've been bugging her to go to the doc about it), and most times I'm also worried about her possibly having a stomach bug and me catching it! I'm an emetophobe too, I can't even stand hearing someone gag or throw up on TV or in a movie, it makes me gag or retch.
That said, you are so not a loser, I just hope Adam feels better too, and so do you! *HUGS*
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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No, no, no! YOu are most certainly NOT a loser! I do not have the emetophobia, but I know ALOT of people that do, and it is a problem just like anything else! WOuld you call yourself a loser for staying away from crowds if you had agoraphobia or claustrophobia? Then don't call yourself one now!
Hope Adam is feeling better, and I am sure that he understands.
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-Sheri
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Hi Casey,
You are not a loser! You don't want to be sick just like all of us. Very normal! I do that, too. Even when my sister calls me on the phone and says that she has a stomach bug I start to feel nauseated......like I could catch it over the phone. Ha! 
I know what you mean about Adam being sick a lot and worring about his job. Does he have short-term disability at work? That's what my son is on since his surgery. He is getting his full pay which is great. Another thing Adam might do is have a talk with his boss about his situation so that at least the boss will know what's going on. He may be very understanding. Do you think the throwing-up is part of the migraine? 
I hope you will be able to get out of your office soon....I bet you are getting lonely. Hopefully you won't get sick and everything will be OK. Keep us posted!
Sending bunches of hugs
Barbie
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Oh Casey, don't feel like a loser. He knows you love him.
Try to keep your distance so you don't get it. The vomiting part doesn't usually last too long either.
Poor Adam.
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I dont' react as badly as you do, but I get freaked out whenever I am around someone who comes to work sick or when DH gets sick because I don't need to be sick on top of my other problems and I HATE being sick.. I'm not the bear and bitch DH is... but I hate it with a passion because it normally means my IBS na dmy blood sugar issues all get screwed up as well as my energy levels!
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Beth
#147539 - 02/07/05 12:48 PM
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You are such a wonderful person and friend! Please take the advice you have so lovingly given to Casey for yourself! *hugs*
I'm so glad this board is full of such amazing and giving people always ready to be supportive of one another. I'm lucky to have you all...
Casey...we're worried about you and hope you're ok! And we all wish we could just throw you a super hug party right about now in that office of yours! ((((((((((((((((((((((CASEY)))))))))))))))))))
Take care everyone!
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I think I understand. I couldn't even take a cold wet facecloth in to my sister when she had a migraine because she throws up with them. It's the worst feeling in the world being unable to care for your loved ones because if this fear.
I know Adam understands though - he's been with you long enough to know about your phobia, and I'm sure he's not going anywhere because of it.
I've been sweating all last week because there was a stomach virus going round at work.... I've not been sleeping, and I've been literally shaking just thinking about it. Imagine my relief yesterday when someone told me it was a D bug, and not a vomiting one! I could have danced on a desk!
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*Emma*
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Ruchie, I just had a visual of all you guys cramming into my 8-by-10-foot CLUTTERED office to hug me and it totally cracked me up. Thank you.
Adam's feeling better... well, as far as I know. He was still feeling sick, but at least he's able to sleep now. Once he got feeling a *little* bit better, he said that he's thinking he took too many painkillers for his headache last night and this morning. That's when I found out that he took 2 800mg ibuprofen, 4 Vicodin on top of that, and then capped it off with Nyquil. Sheesh, I'd have been sick too.
Still, I'm not exactly done panicking, but I'm not holed up in my office, either, so I guess that's a plus. I feel lousy, though. I'm hoping it's just because my anxiety level's been so high the past few days.
You guys are wonderful. *big hugs all around* Thank you so much for the words of calm and understanding, and for all the well-wishes for Adam. I'll pass 'em along when he wakes back up.
PS - I guess there's one bright side to all of this. Adam actually knows about my phobia now. I had never told him, and I've kept it carefully hidden all this time. Not surprisingly, he was very understanding about the whole thing, which made me feel like even more of a jerk. Sigh!
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Glad you're both better now!
Silly you!
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I can totally sympathize with you on this one. I seriously get like mad at my family members when they get the flu or anything that involves throwing up. Everyone is allowed to have their "things" and Adam I'm sure can understand that this is something that you just can't handle. It's not like you don't care about him or are doing anything mean..you just cannot deal with that kind of situation. You should get walkie talkies or something and he can talk with you and you can see if he really needs anything and that you are there for him, otherwise I think keeping your distance will keep you both sane because otherwise I think you'd be freaking him out too.
So don't feel like a loser or a jerk or anything and I seriously hope from one emetephobe to another that you don't actually get what he has and it was just in your mind...though that's not always much better. Feel better soon anyways and give him a shout from the other side of the house just so he knows you care And of course I hope he feels better too 
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I don't know if this helps, but I too hate it when anyone in my family gets sick. I wash my hands sooo much because I'm afraid of the germs! (& avoid being in the same room with them too much.) I usually worry about getting the virus or whatever, but then after I get tired of worrying, I just say to "heck" with it. If I'm gonna get sick, I'm gonna get sick. (But I still wash my hands & play it as safe as possible.  ) It totally helps me to do that. Because the truth is that we just can't control everything.
You're not a loser! Just someone who doesn't want to be sick!
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I kind of get the same way when my husband gets sick. If one of us is really sick, the other one will sleep in the guest bedroom so that they won't get sick. My husband usually understands that I don't want to get what he has. i think it's a completely normal reaction!!!
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..hope everyone has you fully convinced that you are not a loser by now. I am not emetophobe, not really anyway. I remember once my Mum was out and I was babysitting at home and my brother got sick. I was about 12. I had to change the sheets and I thought I was going to get sick myself. I can still remember the pattern on the sheets.
I NEVER throw up myself, IN my entire life I have thrown up
- aged 6 in my sleep on my Pied Piper of Hamelin book
- aged 17 after a very heavy dessert and big meal
- aged 20 after taking ponstan when I broke my toe (it didn't agree with the beer in my system)
- Aged 21 after taking ponstan when totally sober (i don't take ponstan anymore!)
Is that weird ? When I feel queasy I just get D, not pukey.
Can anyone else relate?
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S.
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I don't actually have a fear of throwing up (I have a fear of D, the whole idea of it makes me feel ill and shaky and everything which is pretty funny actually cause I suffer the most from D) but whenever anyone comes home here with a gastro bug I walk round behind them spraying the antibacterial spray like it's going out of fashion, wash my hands every 3 seconds and even sleep on a camping bed in the loungeroom if it's DH! Totally paranoid, it drives him insane and I usually get it anyway. But you have my sympathy. I hope it bypasses you this time. I'll have my fingers crossed for you.
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Amy
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OMG yes. I think I've only thrown up a handfull of times too! Once when I was about 16 on our steps going up stairs. Again when I was 27 (me, my hubby and 18mth old at the time all had it together. I will never forget that!) Once after my colonoscopy age 33. The demerol made me do it. Of course I was so drugged that I didn't care. Then again at age 34. My neighbor and I had gotten it the same day. It was really weird. We had all been out at a club the night before. 6 of us and only Howard and I got it.... But yes, I completely hold it back until I can not anymore. I'm emetephobic big time.
Casey, I worry obsessiveley just like you when my kids get it. I worry for like 3 days straight til I feel I'm out of the woods. It's horrible. So I can TOTALLY relate to the shaking like a leaf in worry. You are not alone. Trust me!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Ruchie
#147634 - 02/07/05 08:07 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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It's so much easier to see how wonderful other people are than ourselves. Thank you for giving me some caring advice back . That really meant a lot to me.
Casey has been a great friend to me, and it just hurts to know that someone you care about is having a hard time and you can't physically be there for them.
Yes, we are lucky to have such a supportive group of people on this board. You are so much a part of that. Your replies to other people's posts always reflect the warmth and sincere concern that you have for others. Thank you for that. I'm so glad you came back to the boards. I really didn't know you before you left for a while, but just grateful that you are back. You have a lot of wisdom and humor to add to the website.
Lots of HUGE HUGS back to you!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Casey
#147636 - 02/07/05 08:15 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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Glad you are feeling a little better. Out of the frantic mode is a good thing!
Boy, Adam really did overdue the pain meds! 4 vicodin alone would kill me. Heck, one or two puts me out! No wonder he got sick to his stomach.
I hope you are feeling even better by now. As they say, "This too shall pass". Thank goodness!!!
Will keep the hugs and love coming your way!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Re: Casey
#147639 - 02/07/05 08:34 PM
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kel
Reged: 02/07/05
Posts: 1
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I am new to this site and I think it is great to talk about my problem. Everyone in my life knows about it. I had an episode today and I sometimes can;t figure out why. I ate prunes this am on an empty stomach and in reading about the soluable fibers it makes sense now. My question is if anyone ever experiences a kind of gurgling in their stomach after eating brown rice, fruit, supplements, egg whites and lobster wrecks me! why?! I was also wondering if acidophilus can help? I am on the constipation side of IBS and I was wondering too if the Acacia Tummy stuff will really help? Metamucil and citricil are horrible.
Kellie
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Beth,
Your words really touched me, thank you. I'm also glad I'm getting to know you as well...and that I came back on the boards. I really missed it while Iw as away. But I'm glad I took the time out I needed to take care of myself! I rode that bike for 20 mins today! Could NOT have done it though without all the support I get here.
Thanks again...and take care of you (((((beth)))))
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Casey - as you know I have OCD. It generally centers around germs and viruses. You think you're paranoid? I'm that to the 10th degree!!!! I am constantly terrified of catching bugs - especially ones that include throwing up. Now that I have kids it's even worse. I feel like this ALL THE TIME. So I know how you feel. You're not a loser. Cause if you were, I'd be a complete lost cause.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Casey,
You're not a loser. I'm the same way I don't want anyone sick around me. I'll ususally tell people if they are sick stay away from me, unless of course it's one of my kids I would not tell them that or my new grandbaby.
I hope Adam gets to feeling better and you don 't get sick.
If anyone does make it into our house sick as soon as they leave I drag out the lysol and spray everything..
Terry
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Don't feel like that. I'm just as bad, every since I was young I have always had a phobia about people throwing up.
It crucifys me when Tara is ill, because half of me wants to look after her, and the other half wants to hide away in a corner with my hands over my ears.
I always end end up in a worse state than her - and sleeping in the same bed is a nightmare.
Isn't it funny that those of us who hate getting sick are the ones who feel nausea all the time - it's like our bodies know exactly how to get to us.
I hope Adam gets well soon and that you have calmed down. You'll be fine and I'm sure he understands.
Wishing you all the best.
Take care,
Catherine
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LISTEN TO ME YOUARE NOT A LOSER!!!!!! You are a humane and we come with funky flaws!!! I hope everyone is feeling better today!!
BIG HUGS!!!
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Heather7476
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oh casey...I SO understand..you should have seen me in India with my husband when we got food poisoning...oh dear...I don't mind it if people are throwing up through alcohol because I know I can't catch it but bugs are sooooo scary to me...I SOOOO understand...
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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oh my God thats hysterical...when I shake for a week at work thinking I am going to catch something and then I hear its just D...oh the JOY!!!!
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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No way!
#147766 - 02/08/05 11:26 AM
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Kree
Reged: 10/08/03
Posts: 3748
Loc: Northern NY
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Casey, you are SO not a loser! You can't help the way you feel. I seriously think that when you're sick so often with IBS like most of us it makes you much more wary about being sick even more. I can't say I've ever gone through what you're going through, but I certainly take all precautions to avoid sick people, too. When my students come in coughing or sneezing, I'll be perfectly honest... I usually try to steer clear of them as much as possible! So just hang in there and try not to give yourself any more D by stressing yourself out. You're probably not catching it... and if you are you'll get through it. Just remember that we're here for you if you need to talk!
PS. I'm home sick today for the 2nd day in a row, so it's a good thing you don't have to worry about catching things over the computer!
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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No honey, you are not a looser, in fact I think I am one of those types of peole too, emetophobic. OMGOsh I had no idea there was a name for that too.
Its ok, don't be so hard on yourself, things could be much worse. I am dealing with a 9 year old who cried himself to sleep because he is missing his mom, long long story. I wish I could have made his pain go away, but, I let him cry it out until he went to sleep. I told him we would call mom first thing in the morning, he was satisfied with that. But, what do you do???? I don't know how to comfort the child, I dont want to make it worse.....anyway, this post is aboutyou, not me, me me me me em......sorry.
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