Christmas Present Return?
#133030 - 12/26/04 07:56 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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I need advice please. I received a Christmas gift from my mom which I don't really want to keep. But my mom puts so much energy in selecting her gifts, that I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that I really would rather return this gift for something else.
She didn't include a gift receipt, so I can't return it without telling her and asking for the receipt.
Should I just be a "grown up" and keep the gift? I think she bought the item because she thought I wanted it because I mentioned it about a year ago! I don't really want the item though. I know this item wasn't cheap so it makes it more difficult to keep it. If it were cheaper it wouldn't be such a big deal to keep it even though I didn't want it.
I don't know how to handle this. Any advice?
Oh, I would have to invest money to buy a stand for the gift too. So I would be spending additional money on a gift I really didn't want. But I don't want to hurt my mom. She really works hard to make Christmas special. I don't want to be an ungrateful brat. I don't know what to do?
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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I don't know what your relationship with your mom is like, but my mom would want me to return it and get soemthing that I really wanted. I usually am able to tell my mom what I like and what I don't like. Our family is very open that way. We even always say, I have the receipt saved if you want to return or exchange it for something else. I think the best thing is for you to tell your mom how much you appreciate her gift, but would she mind if you exchanged it for something else? I would even tell her what you have in mind that you want to get. I would not keep something that is quite expensive if you aren't going to enjoy it. Or you can just exchange it without the receipt and not tell her, unless she asks. You only need the receipt if you are returning it. Actually, they will only give you the lowest price that that product was ever sold at without the receipt, so I guess you do need the receipt. Sorry, I can't be more help, I would just be honest with your mom.
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If it cost her alot of money, you should be honest and ask for the receipt, if it is something that you would not use. It would not be fair for her to spend alot of money on a gift that would sit in a closet forever. If it is something that would be visible in your home if you used it or not, she would find out sooner or later that you do not use it , also.
I do not have this problem with my family, we are pretty open about this stuff, becuase we would rather not waste.
Good luck, this situation is never easy!
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-Sheri
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Thanks for your prospective. My mom usually does put the gift receipt with the gift, but the last year or 2 she has stopped doing this! I thought about just returning it for store credit, but like you said, you only get the lowest price plus you only get store credit. But the bigger problem would be when my mom came over and didn't see the present sitting in my living room! But I don't want to have to invest more of my own money into a gift I really didn't even want.
My mom is so sensitive and so am I. So I'm trying to think of how I would react if she asked me for a receipt for a gift I gave her. I might be hurt. Oh, I'll have to think about this overnight!
I might take the easy way out and try and leave a message on her answering machine instead of telling her directly! But then I couldn't really explain and make her try and feel okay and get all excited about all the things I would use the exchange to get.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Thanks Shari, that's two votes for telling her! But I am such a chicken when it comes to maybe hurting my mom's feelingss at all. I just don't want to hurt her. But maybe I'm making this into a bigger deal than it really is.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Quote:
My mom is so sensitive and so am I. So I'm trying to think of how I would react if she asked me for a receipt for a gift I gave her. I might be hurt.
Well, this sounds like a good time to use the Golden Rule. I have found it to be the best tool in decision making of this kind. I think that thinking it over first is a very good idea.
Terri
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how about an email? say, mom, I really liked your gift, but I need a blank really bad and could get it if I exchanged your gift. Would you be mad if I exchanged your gift? I really need the blank and it would be lk9ke it was coming from you. I would need the receipt to be able to exchange it. Again, thanks so much for all the great Christmas gifts! And tell her you love her!
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Golden Rule?
#133040 - 12/26/04 08:36 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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Do you mean "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" Are you saying you wouldn't say anything?
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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That's the Golden Rule and I'd sure use it in a situation like this. What would I do? Well, I'm like you; I'm a big chicken when it comes to hurting my Mom's feelings. I'm almost 50 and my mom is in her 70's, but I still go out of my way to NOT hurt her feelings at all and I've always been this way with her. I have no regrets about that whatsoever, by the way. Me? I'd keep the present and display it, but I can't say that's the right decision, honey. It's up to you.
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But thanks for the suggestion! Emails make being honest so much easier. I mean, can you even imagine talking about some of the stuff we talk about without the computer: BMs, pooping, constipation, diarrhea... I just don't know if I could be so blunt if I were actually saying these things out loud!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Christmas presents are meant to be returned or exchanged! Why do you think the malls will be packed for the next two weeks!! lol
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oh Beth, don't stress yourself out over this, or you are gonna end up pooping!!! lol
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I'm just saying that I personally wouldn't hurt my mom's feelings for a material thing. To me, it wouldn't be worth it. But, to each his own.
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Okay, now I'm back to square one! 
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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I don't want you to think I'm an awful person for even considering talking to my mom. This is why I am so torn about this, TeeCee.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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I've never returned a present. It's not in my nature. It's a gift. That's why it's called a "gift," and not a "gift certificate." 
As for your mom's feelings, I find the last thing I want after personally selecting, buying, wrapping, and giving a gift is to be offended by someone who wants to exchange it for money. I mean, it's a gift. If you don't want it, give it back to her. Or just tell her next year that you just want gift cards or certificates so you can pick out your own stuff.
I say if you need something else from your mom then ask her for what you need. Like, "Mom I need a base for this to display it properly, but I can't afford it." Or "Mom I love this present you gave me. You have such terrific taste. Can you help me pick out a washer/dryer for me for a new years gift?" 
~nelly~
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Thanks for the suggestions Nelly. But I can't ask her for any more money or to buy the extra piece for the gift. She already works 70 hours a week (at 65 years of age) just to get by. My dad really shafted her in the divorce.
And I can't really afford the extra piece either. Lack of money runs in the family!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Yikes! Well, she'll just have to realize why it's lying on its side against the wall when she comes to visit. I hear you about being shafted in a divorce! My dad took e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g when he left. I'm talking one pair of jeans and government cheese growing up, here. It's a wonder my mom kept it together! Hats off to your mom.
~nelly~
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Beth
#133257 - 12/27/04 08:03 PM
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MissS
Reged: 02/11/04
Posts: 837
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Oh, Beth, I sure wouldn't think you're an awful person for talking with your mom about a present. I was just saying what I'd do, but that doesn't mean it's right or wrong. I don't think there is a right or wrong in this situation. It's whatever you feel right about doing, but in no way would I judge your decision. Lots of people return gifts. I always tell my children they can return them if they want to. But, my own mom doesn't do that. She really cares about what she buys and I know it would hurt her if I didn't act like I like it.
I agree with Nelly. If you can't afford the stand, then Mom will have to understand why it's in the box; leaning against the wall.
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This Is Do-Able!
#133400 - 12/28/04 01:57 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Hi Beth,
First off, I apologize if I'm repeating what someone else has already said in this thread. (I never read others' replies to the initial post.)
It's hard to answer your question without knowing what kind of relationship you have with your mother. Assuming it's a good one, I'd talk it out with her just like you did in this post, telling her how much you sincerely appreciate all the effort she puts into choosing your present, etc. Then I'd ask for her HELP in picking out something else you'd rather have -- that way, she'll know you still respect her tastes and want her advice and opinion in choosing something else (even though you've no doubt already decided what you want). Above all, I wouldn't wait on doing this -- because pretty soon she's gonna throw out that receipt...
Good luck!
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Bevrs
#133401 - 12/28/04 02:13 PM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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Thank you for the advice Bev. At least now I don't feel like a total spoiled ungrateful brat for even thinking about saying something since you and some of the other responders thought it would be okay! My mom is so sensitive and I love her so much, I would just hate to be the cause of any stress to her. Mom gets so worked up before Christmas, trying to make the Ideal Christmas Dinner and picking out the perfect gifts for everyone. This is really a tough one for me.
BTW, just wanted to say, I used to visit this website for about a year or so before finally having the nerve to register and join "the gang". But I wanted to tell you that your posts always made me laugh! You help put a wonderful sense of humor into this hiddeous IBS, and for that I was and am grateful to you.  I loved reading your posts and was so disappointed when I first registered because you had disappeared. So glad you are back and sharing your wonderful humor and knowledge with us again.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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I have kind of been MIA lately too but I have been reading up here lately and was wondering where you went! I haven't noticed jenx either. Have you heard from her lately? Where are you jenx? 
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~Wookie
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