Anyone remember my gay guy drama from WAY back?
#131921 - 12/20/04 02:59 PM
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Well, this is his last week and he has ignored me for the past 2 months. I finally got him to email me back. After a million emails, and him probably thinking I was "stalking" him.  
Here's the scoop. While I had it in my head that we were becoming good friends, and a little thing like a crush shouldn't ruin a developing friendship, he had WAY different ideas.
I FINALLY got it out of him that once I confessed my crush, he was indeed freaked out. No surprise there. And in his head, we were NOT YET EVEN FRIENDS so he decided to just end it there and not start a friendship with me.
I disagree because to me we were friends but whatever. You don't invite someone from work out for your birthday, plan on seeing a movie and going dancing if you're not into starting a friendship. I still wonder why he sent me a zillion emails a day and told me that I "made his day" when I went to see him????
And I don't know why he couldn't have told me that 2 months ago.
Just venting...........It feels good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Men! 
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SS that is strange! I think you summed it up great..MEN! What is he like having these rules about when someone is a friend, think he sounds the teeniest bit odd...
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S.
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I know that I'm better off without him. Still a frustrating experience though!
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UPDATE
#132604 - 12/23/04 08:43 AM
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Yay! Today is his last day. This week got very UGLY between us too.
Since it was his last week I sent him several emails asking him to please talk with me before he leaves for good. Instead of him giving me 5 minutes of his time, he eiher ignored me or flat out said no. I told him that I needed closure with this and it meant a lot to me.
he refused and then sent me an email saying that I was getting him VERY mad and that we weren't even friends to start with. Then his coworker told me that she heard him and his boss talking and he was considering making a complaint about my emails to MY BOSS! that was the alst straw. What a jerk!
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Re: UPDATE
#132627 - 12/23/04 10:02 AM
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Sheri01
Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey
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Yeah, he is a jerk. Don't ever ever ever again give him the time of day. I know you want to talk to let him know what you wre really feeling, to save face and everything, since the way you feel is alittle different than the way you came across to him. But, it is just giving more power to him since he is still just ignoring you or being rude. That is right, why couldn't he tell you two months ago? You made it clear that it was ok to be open, the only thing he had to lose was to hurt your feelings, and he was already doing that by not talking to you.
Talking to the boss about it is entirely unprofessional, especially because he gets to leave the situation, but you still have to work there atleast until you find a new job.
This guy is a crazy, or maybe it comes down to most guys not being able to communicate. You would think that gay guys would be better at it than straight guys, but I am finding that that is not necessarily true. 
Atleast he will be gone out of your life for good, you may still feel stupid over the situation, but everyone makes embarassing mistakes, you just gotta suck it up and move on!
One last thing... if he didn't even think that you were at the devloping a relationship phase, then think how crazy he is for telling a coworker that he is into voyeurism (sp?) !!!
have a great holiday if I don't get to talk to you!
*huggs*
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-Sheri
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Ya, I'm so glad he's almost gone.
He was developing a friendship with me. Why else would he tell me so much personal information about himself, family, etc? That's SCARY if he's that open with people he considers strangers. I always wondered why he told me all his secrets?
Oh well. He is gone. He won't get his boss involved as I sent his boss (who is his ex-boyfriend) an email stating that I won't talk to him ever again and I'm sorry if he thought I was "harassing" him.
If it got down to it, I could tell this ex A LOT of personal stuff that HE doesn't even know and he'd find out very quickly just how much Scott told me!
Men..................
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I am sorry SS< but that place you work at is soooo out of whack! his boss was his BF? And THAT doesn't violate company policy? And they get on you for little stuff?
That place seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen, really.
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-Sheri
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Ya, it's actually another company that works in my building. But as soon as Scott started we knew that he was also gay. It didn't take more than 5 min to see how they interacted to see that they used to date.
They were very bizarre. They spent every single lunch time together, drove to and from work together and spent their weekends together too.
I'm sure it's not legal to hire an ex-lover just to ahve someone to hang out with!
Santa....bring me a new job please!
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If this guy keeps yanking the cord of the relationship around...it's gunna break. And, he'll probably be sorry when he thinks about what a great friendship he could have had.
All I can say is to not let this guy play with your emotions...and if you feel it has happened and is continuing...tell him to take a hike.
It is my belief that email relationships can be defined in regards to friends, family, coworkers, etc. So this guy doesn't know what he wants...is that what you want?
-just a few vents of my own.
Dumas.
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Don't waste your time with people who don't even know your role in their life. If you've invested a lot of time in a lose-lose relationship, perhaps it's time to move on. I say this with spiritual fortitude as it applies to members of MY "family."
If this dude just wants to be an acquaintence, set that boundary, first.
-just some more thoughts.
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Yes, communicating with males (and I say this as a man) can be very difficult. Even straight and gay men have difficulties communicating. And, any man with a woman!?!
-hopeless!
The point I'm making is that if we cannot communicate simply as people, how can we break down the gender barrier?
-just a though from a latent heterosexual hoping to one day give up this life as a monk(!)
Dumas.
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It's sad that some people need to take it in the...well you know what, to keep a job. This guy doesn't sound like that special a person to be involved with...
This dude's a loser and an AIDS case waiting to happen.
Egads, Sara dump the unethical creep first from you life, and then from your mind!!!
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Yeah, idiots who don't have good people skills...
There's this guy who works for my father... He says things towards me that are very personal at times about my life and my family. Yet, when I try to communicate with him, it is like I'm inappropriate and should be "professional" with him. Egads! -been puttin' up with his crap for about two or three years, now.
Well, I've left the family business for good, now. It's been twenty years helping Dad earn income. It really helped out the family and my relationship with my father. I see the big picture of the situation.
This little creep is gettin' to be such a drag. And, I believe it is best to practice what I preach in this thread and just let the friendship/labor relations/confidante crap go!!! He, like this asswipe Scott, just isn't worth it, anymore.
Thank you for providing this thread, Sara. It helped in that I could apply it to another worker/wh*re out there. And, the beauty of it all is that these type of people are so dense and confused that WE DON'T HAVE TO CONFRONT FOR DISCLOSURE! Walk away and let them stand where they fall!
Sooner or later this creep will be out of my life. And, then, I'll dance that final happy dance!
Dumas.
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It seems that from time to time we all need to cleanse our bodies of these toxic relationships, wipe our "bums" clean, and flush those associates down the loo so they can go where they belong!!!
Happy dancing in his mind, Dumas. 
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Ya, life is too short to put up with people who drag us down!
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He is officially gone as of yesterday!
I won't ever see him again and I heard that he was thinking of moving out of town too.
Good riddance, I say!
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