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Oh boy. Families, gotta love' em. 
I don't know what it's like to live with an alcoholic. It must be very tough on you and your mom. 
I don't even know how you can approach a discussion with him or your mom about this.
Hang in there and try to not let HIS problem get you down too much. It's not at all your fault. I hope someone is able to offer you some good advice.
Hugs.
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Thanks SS, Its a tough one that is true.
When I last lived at home my Dad had only started drinking so I really don't have the same experience of it as say my eleven year old brother who has never known a Dad that doesn't drink...
I am really so grateful to everyone for their support and hugs. This is a cyclical thing, the cycles will keep going until either my mother leaves him (highly unlikely) or he gets a serious wake up call. Sometimes I fantasise about him being really badly hurt or something so that the wake up call might come. I know that its awful but he has hurt the six of us and my Mum for so long now, and all he cares about is himself. Like I said earlier, I don't love him any more, I tolerate him. This situation is of his making, and its sad for him. I am 28 years old and have my own house, my own job (which he disapproves of!) and a fantastic boyfriend who understands completely as his Dad is a dry alcoholic (they can be just as difficult to handle as the "wet" ones!)
Thanks again for listening
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S.
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Hi! I've been close to a couple of people with alcohol problems (I was one of them when I was a teenager) and it's a very hard thing to deal with, especially when they don't think there is a problem. I hope that you guys can all work through this as a family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Amy
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towards people in my family. It seems the love was lost years ago through misunderstandings, ignorance, and spiritual degeneration. And, I don't think it's a sin to want to stop a toxic influence (even if it's from family) from poisoning one's life. Hopefully, a new kind of love will regenerate if he finds sobriety.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And, the wisdom to know the difference.
-learned this from Emotions Anonymous (a 12 step program) and (upon reflection) is perhaps the best words I can post for you.
Bob.
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Hi everyone, thanks so much for your support on this and all my venting yesterday, I was just so upset.
Phoned Mam this morning and Dad didn't drink at all yesterday. He even was slightly considerate once he finally got out of bed. He did tell Mam that I had phoned and that I had hung up on him! (I am surprised that he did, it must have had some effect, it wouldn't be something he would boast about!) My family who are at home completely ignored him yesterday, my sister even hoovered and dusted around him. It must have gotten to him that he wasn't the centre of attention.
He got up this morning and was pleasant to Mam and my sister. Mam says its like Jekyll and Hyde. She is in such better form now that he has been sober for 24hours as she hopes he will keep it that way. He even asked her to come to dinner tonight with him and his employees as a Christmas treat.
I know that things are not right by a long shot but we have to live for the moment and it just about looks like this moment might be OK, so fingers crossed that he stays sober til the far side of Christmas.
Thanks again for all your support and advice, its great to have so many friends to turn to at times like this.
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S.
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I feel for you. My dad is very difficult too, he drinks a lot. It will all be easier when you move out, as I recently have, thankfully. I hope you have a good holiday and if you can (and I know it is hard to do) try to brush it off for that day, so you can have a good time. Have a Merry Christmas!  -Hugs-
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Ibs-d and fructose sensitive.
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Thanks Dana, its great that people understand. I have moved out already, I haven't lived at home full time in 11 years, but its hard to avoid everything that is going on as I am in very close contact with my Mum and my brothers and sisters.
As I posted today, things are better now, thankfully!
Happy Christmas to you too
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S.
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Hopefully things stay well for you! Good luck!
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-Sheri
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Glad to hear that things are a little better - I guess you should take what you can get and if things are good today, then it's a good day.
It may take him time, but it sounds like maybe slowly he's beginning to see how others don't like how he is and they'll kind of live their lives with or our without him.
I think maybe that all made sense - but anyhow I hope everything works itself out and that you and your mom and your siblings and everyone can still have a great Christmas
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Sinéad,
Thanks. I am glad everything is getting better!(I didn't read all of the posts). I am also very close with my mom, she is my best friend, and you're right it is very hard to avoid things I know. But, I am glad to hear everything is going well! Best wishes to you and your family.
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Ibs-d and fructose sensitive.
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