Feeling hopeless/depressed - Hypnosis?
#129132 - 12/09/04 08:54 AM
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Brian_NY
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 24
Loc: Upstate NY
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I woke up this morning feeling so depressed that I decided it was time to take some drastic measures.
A brief history: I have been struggling with chronic, painful constipation for about 7 years now and I am absolutely miserable. I recently had another upper GI (due to bad acid reflux) and my first colonoscopy all in the same day. No problems other than internal hemorrhoids were found.
Anyway, I've been reading/searching through posts on here looking for solutions to my deep depression. I read the recent post by Stephie describing her battle with this and her post almost described me to a T. My relationship with my girlfriend is suffering because she is constantly trying to "cheer me up". I have difficulty seeing good in anything. I like my job but I don't feel like being here (especially when I'm in pain which is most of the time) I'm always tired even though I try not to stay up late, I have difficulty getting up in the morning and normally the 30 minute drive to work is my worst, lowest point of the day. I have very little faith in any of my doctors, I feel like I am talking to myself.
HOWEVER if I have a normal bowel movement (which rarely occurs) my mood lifts immediately, but it doesn't last. I am caught in this cycle where I feel like if I wasn't in pain I wouldn't be depressed, but I've honestly forgotten what it feels like to be happy (and pain free). If I try to discuss this with my girlfriend she is sympathetic but she doesn't relate either because she is naturally an upbeat, happy person. I love her very much but I feel our relationship is going downhill and I feel like a failure. I am only 31 years old but I feel like an old man.
I bought Heather's book a while back and have tried at different times to change my diet, increase my fiber etc etc...but I never stick with it because I get feeling very low and turn to eating foods that give me comfort after I don't see any improvement.
So...I was reading about the Hypnosis program, sounds good in theory but I'm skeptical. I'm thinking maybe if I try this and start feeling at least a little better then it would be easier to work on adjusting my diet and lifestyle.
Anyway, I didn't intend to write this much but it feels good to get it out. I don't think this kind of stuff is that uncommon but I feel absolutely lost.
I could really use some friends right now that can relate. Thanks for your time and take care.
Brian
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First off...welcome Brian.... you just sound like a doll...  {{hugs}}
Quote:
I woke up this morning feeling so depressed that I decided it was time to take some drastic measures.
A brief history: I have been struggling with chronic, painful constipation for about 7 years now and I am absolutely miserable. I recently had another upper GI (due to bad acid reflux) and my first colonoscopy all in the same day. No problems other than internal hemorrhoids were found.
Anyway, I've been reading/searching through posts on here looking for solutions to my deep depression. I read the recent post by Stephie describing her battle with this and her post almost described me to a T. My relationship with my girlfriend is suffering because she is constantly trying to "cheer me up". I have difficulty seeing good in anything. I like my job but I don't feel like being here (especially when I'm in pain which is most of the time) I'm always tired even though I try not to stay up late, I have difficulty getting up in the morning and normally the 30 minute drive to work is my worst, lowest point of the day. I have very little faith in any of my doctors, I feel like I am talking to myself. We have all been there.... Dr are slowly learning more and more about IBS. Have you been diagnosed with IBS?
HOWEVER if I have a normal bowel movement (which rarely occurs) my mood lifts immediately, but it doesn't last. I am caught in this cycle where I feel like if I wasn't in pain I wouldn't be depressed, but I've honestly forgotten what it feels like to be happy (and pain free). If I try to discuss this with my girlfriend she is sympathetic but she doesn't relate either because she is naturally an upbeat, happy person. I love her very much but I feel our relationship is going downhill and I feel like a failure. I am only 31 years old but I feel like an old man. I'm sure she loves you and will do whatever it takes to help you.... have you shared Heather's books with her? Does she do the cooking or do you?
I bought Heather's book a while back and have tried at different times to change my diet, increase my fiber etc etc...but I never stick with it because I get feeling very low and turn to eating foods that give me comfort after I don't see any improvement. I know it can be frustrating... but you need to hang in there.... give it a few months...I know it is a lot to learn and change but really it will just become second nature after a while.... you can still have comfort foods (just make them with IBS safe foods...it CAN be done!) 
So...I was reading about the Hypnosis program, sounds good in theory but I'm skeptical. I'm thinking maybe if I try this and start feeling at least a little better then it would be easier to work on adjusting my diet and lifestyle. I personally have not tried the Hypnosis tapes but have heard WONDERFUL things about them, be sure to check out the Hypnotherapy for IBS board Are you getting enough exercise?
Anyway, I didn't intend to write this much but it feels good to get it out. I don't think this kind of stuff is that uncommon but I feel absolutely lost. We are here for you.... make yourself known...jump into other threads....
I could really use some friends right now that can relate. Thanks for your time and take care.
Brian
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Brian,
BIG HUGS to you right now. I'm so sorry you are going through this! I do know how you feel, and it's a viscious cycle.
One really good thing is that you REALIZE what is going on, that is the first step!
I tried the hypno tapes, and they did work well for relaxation for me...I never completely finished the tapes though. I know that a lot of people on here have had great success with the tapes! Maybe they can help you more with that...
I would definately have to suggest that you look up some therapists in your area! I know a lot of people are very skeptical of therapists, but they really can help you to think different ways, and to get you back on your feet. I saw a therapist for depression and anxiety this year for awhile, and he really did help me. Just being able to talk to someone that really wants to know about YOU, and what you're feeling, makes you feel better.
You sound like a wonderful person, and I truly wish you the best. Everything will be ok, you just need a little help right now. I'm really glad you got Heather's books, and I hope you try and stick to this diet for awhile. It WILL make you feel better.
When you start thinking negative thoughts in your head, scream 'NO' over and over again until they go away. (Not out loud, just in your head). FORCE yourself to think of happy things. Turn on your favorite music in the car...do anything to keep your mind off of negative things.
I hope you have a wonderful day!!
~Cara
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~Cara~
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Thank you Shell...I don't think I have been "officially" diagnosed with IBS but I have had just about every test known to man (at least it feels that way). Upper endoscopy, PH probes, bowel emptying study, colonoscopy and the list goes on. Some tests for my reflux...some not. Nothing serious ever found. My doctors tell me I have IBS, thats all I know.
My exercise is limited although I did buy an eliptical machine and have used it with about as much success as changing my diet. I'm a tall person with a medium to thin build so excercise has never been a top priority for me...twisted logic I know. As you can probably tell, my confidence and self-esteem isn't that great right now. I also have a desk job which is another contributing factor.
My girlfriend and I don't live together but she does cook when I visit. I'm not even sure how to approach that subject...cook 2 different meals?
Anyway, it's nice to meet you and I look forward to making new friends on the board.
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I'm so sorry you are struggling so much right now. I too, have IBS with constipation (also know as IBS C) I take miralax everyday which keeps me from getting constaipated much anymore. I still struggle with the bloating and pain. It can really get you down sometimes. The other girls gave some good advice. You realize something has to change and that is the first step. I believe that you may benefit from an anti-depressant. If only short term to get you out of this cycle. Look through the library and you will find lots of articles on why and how the anti-depressants help combat the IBS. Many of us here take them. You may also want to talk to your dr about the anti-spasm drugs, like donnatal, bemtyl and Levsin. If you can't get the C under control, the ask about the Miralax. Your body can become dependant on it so I recommend it as a last resort but I've been on it for years and it really has imrpoved the quality of my life! when I get in a bad cycle with the pain, I find that narcotic drugs are needed to help break the pain cycle.
A few things to make you more comfortable in the meantime are the heating pad on your tummy, some teas and possible some gas-x! Your not alone in this problem. I think its important that you make your girlfriend understand how difficult and pianful it can be sometimes. Show her this site and let her read for herself! I hope you feel better soon!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Thank you Cara, the initial hurdles when facing IBS seem huge but maybe they aren't that bad. There seem to be many happy, self-confident couragous people here and it gives me hope. 
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I LOVE my ellipitcal trainer!!! I injured my ankle a couple of months back and haven't been able to use it and my tummy has suffered!! Exercise does help! Even if its just 20 minutes a few times a week! It WILL help your tummy! Also, its crucial that you drink a lot of water and stay away from carbonated drinks, like pop! I too, tend to binge on the comfort foods, my weakness is M&M's! We all fall off the wagon now and then, we just ned to help pull eachother back up and get on track again!
You do NOT (nor does your girlfriend) have to cook 2 meals! Check out the recipe boards here! There are tons of great recipes here. You really need to explain to her what your going through. I know it can be hard but if she really likes you, she will understand! IBS is nothing to be embarrassed about. Just because the dr's can't find anything technically wrong with us doesn't make it less of an illness!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Hi Michelle,
I have tried Bentyl with no improvment, my doctor currently has perscribed Zelnorm which I haven't filled yet, still undecided.
Thank you for your suggestions, I am listening.
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I know that the Zelnorm hasn't technically been proven in men but I guess it couldn't hurt to try. I have heard of other men taking it. I have taken it as well but it always stops working for me after a couple of weeks. This seems to be the case for most people. I "save it" for when I get a bad attack as it does help with the cramps for a little while. The bentyl didn't help me either. The Donnatal seems to help a bit but its still not a mircle pill or anything! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Quote:
I know that the Zelnorm hasn't technically been proven in men but I guess it couldn't hurt to try. I have heard of other men taking it. I have taken it as well but it always stops working for me after a couple of weeks. This seems to be the case for most people. I "save it" for when I get a bad attack as it does help with the cramps for a little while. The bentyl didn't help me either. The Donnatal seems to help a bit but its still not a mircle pill or anything!
I agree Michelle, if there was a miracle pill I would be taking it. However, I don't like taking medication (I take enough allready for my reflux) and I feel that these medications really just cover the problem rather than solve the problem. I'm willing to take medication for a while if needed but my constipation is very constant, I don't have IBS "attacks", just constant pain. But as you know, you can get used to anything if you have to.
I've read much of what Heather has written on this site and she makes a lot of sense to me. Time to put my faith in people who have been down this road before me.
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Welcome to the board Brian! I think you'll find the answers you are seeking here. I too am IBS-C and I can totally relate to how you feel about being happy one minute because you have a bowl movement and then worrying or depressed the next because you can't. Today is a good example of that for me. I have been so happy being stable and now I had a setback and it has left me feeling very down. But chatting with people here and getting some good advice has helped alot! I am glad you found us and I really hope that you start to feel better soon. Just know that you have a whole board of supporters right at your fingertips!
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Hey Brian,
I was in the same boat you were diet wise two years ago. I read Heather's book and read the messageboards - but didn't follow the diet. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
So I slowly started eliminating stuff from my diet. First I decided to see if I could do dairy. In order to do this, I made a trip to my local health food store and found a ton of non-dairy products that I could eat. Sure, they tasted funny at first.. but now regular dairy tastes funny!
Then I started moving on to alcohol, whole wheat, vegetables, etc. I'm still not perfect - soda and chocolates are my weakness and I haven't been able to give them up. 
As for the exercise, I'm STILL in the same boat as I can't seem to get the will power to do it. I'm "storing" my dad's Gazelle (like your elliptical trainer) and have only used it once! Maybe we can be each other's cheerleader in this department?
Hope you stick around on the boards! There is tons of information and advice that floats around, and even though I've been following the diet (80% strictly) for 2 years now, I still find that I'm learning new things.
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- Jennifer
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Brian
#129183 - 12/09/04 10:21 AM
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Someone gave me this link once on here....send it to your girlfriend!
IBS Explained for People w/o It
I'm sure your girlfriend will understand when you tell her you're changing your diet! It seems really overwhelming I know...but it DOES get easier. Like Michele said, there are lots of great recipes on the boards here. Do you cook at all? Have you tried anything soy? I love soy now, and I eat/drink it everyday.
A lot of times when I cook, I'll do half of the recipe with regular cheese, half with soy...of course that only works for a few recipes, but you know what I mean. And that would only be if your girlfriend doesn't like soy!
I forgot to mention anti-depressants like Michele did - they really help you get over that 'hump'. If you are too low down and depressed, you need help to get started back up. I take Zoloft.
Anyways, I really gotta run now, lots to do today!
~Cara
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~Cara~
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Nice to meet you Jennifer...I need to pull out Heather's book tonight and get a refresher course. I'll have questions later I'm sure. I'm feeling a lot better than I was this morning, thanks.
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Re: Brian
#129186 - 12/09/04 10:32 AM
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Brian_NY
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 24
Loc: Upstate NY
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Good link, I'll print it out. Thanks.
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Question Angela, it appears that mostly women are affected by IBS-C? Is that correct?
Figures
Seems there is little rhyme or reason to IBS....
Edited by Brian_NY (12/09/04 10:48 AM)
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I'm not Angela but I'll respond!! I think the ratio is like 80% are women versus 20% men!! We do have a couple of other guys on the boards, so stick around!!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Quote:
Someone gave me this link once on here....send it to your girlfriend!
IBS Explained for People w/o It
I'm sure your girlfriend will understand when you tell her you're changing your diet! It seems really overwhelming I know...but it DOES get easier. Like Michele said, there are lots of great recipes on the boards here. Do you cook at all? Have you tried anything soy? I love soy now, and I eat/drink it everyday.
A lot of times when I cook, I'll do half of the recipe with regular cheese, half with soy...of course that only works for a few recipes, but you know what I mean. And that would only be if your girlfriend doesn't like soy!
I forgot to mention anti-depressants like Michele did - they really help you get over that 'hump'. If you are too low down and depressed, you need help to get started back up. I take Zoloft.
Anyways, I really gotta run now, lots to do today!
~Cara
Yes, I sent this to all my co-workers, friends, & family via email last year.... I think it REALLY helped!! Great link!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Yea, the more I read the less it makes sense... 
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Brian
First off WELCOME!!! I can't realy add anything to what everbody else has said,Just wanted to say We are here for you and hope your feeling better soon!! I also know just how you feel and it can get better!!!
Good Luck !!!!! Big Hugs!!!!!
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Heather7476
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I agree with Michele. Alot of woman have IBS-C. I think it must be all of our stress!!!
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Brian
#129265 - 12/09/04 02:11 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I just wanted to say welcome to the boards and that I know all too well how you feel. I also have IBS-C and I have bipolar disorder (highs and lows). When every day you are constantly wondering about your bowel movements, it would get anyone down!!! Please don't get discouraged because there are plenty of nice people here that can give you advice and help you through this difficult time in your life. I know it's hard when your girlfriend doesn't understand. My husband doesn't either. He's never had constipation----never, not even when travelling, so he has no clue what it's like to suffer with this.
You are doing the right thing in searching for answers. Just keep asking your questions, and hopefully, someone can lead you in the right direction. You have been given some excellent advice already so I won't repeat what they've told you. Welcome again! It's nice to have new people on board, especially men.
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Re: Brian
#129267 - 12/09/04 02:13 PM
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Brian_NY
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 24
Loc: Upstate NY
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Thank you, I'm going to go home and reread these posts tonight to start with a plan for tomorrow. Have a good night
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Hi Brian! I suffer from IBS A so I can only partly relate to c'ers. I don't suffer from c that badly, mostly d and a whole lot of pain, so I can certainly sympathise on the pain front. Relationships can be hard when one of you is in pain all the time and the other person just doesn't understand. I have days where I feel unbelievably depressed by it all too but now thanks to Heather's diet I have some great days where I feel good and am happy (I've only just started). I won't give you any advice as I think it's pretty much all been covered but just wanted to say I understand and hope you are feeling a little better soon.
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Amy
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Re: Hey Brian
#129388 - 12/09/04 10:30 PM
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gigi
Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas
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HI Brian! Honey, I certainly understand your depression and pain. The exercise is a great help, and drinking lots of water. I also have a terrible weakness, ICECREAM!! I love it , love it, love it. If things are going good for me, I just can't seem to stand it, and have to reward myself, which in turn causes me to go right back to where I started.
There are so many great recipes here, I tried one last week that my husband loved, Brown Sugar Garlic Chicken, I am not good at setting up links, but it is in the recipe index and it is very good!
Something that has really helped me is Smoothies for breakfast and sometimes in the evening. I start with frozen mashed bananas (makes a great creamy base), that I have mashed in ziploc bags and put in the freezer. I then add about 1/2 cup of Silk, and any kind of fruit you like, fresh is best, but if it is not handy for you, use the frozen, the berry blends are great, they are full of fiber.
These things are addicting.
Hope things get better for you, the next day that offers a bright blue sky, try and get out for a walk, it will brighten your spirit too!!!
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Welcome!
#129408 - 12/10/04 02:03 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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Well, you've taken the hardest step in admitting you need to do something about your IBS and the best step in coming here! So pat on the back for you.
Ask your girlfriend to read "IBS:The First Year". It explains everything so well. She sounds like she wants to help so enlist her! Support from partners, friends or family can make a big difference. My hubby always checks me if I'm gonna eat something bad and he's great at getting the hot water bottle and painkillers for attacks!
Cooking for two is no problem whatsoever. Si (DH) and I eat together all the time IBS-safely. Sometimes he'll have steak and I'll have something different with the same side dishes, but most of the time we eat the same. There's pasta, risottos, fish, chicken...loads and loads of yummy stuff. And I bet your girlfriend won't object to eating yummy low-fat food! Have a look through "Eating for IBS" and the recipe INdex/exchange. There are so many recipes. How about you give your girlfriend her own copy of "Eating For IBS"? Then she can think of stuff to cook at home.
I would really recommend antidepressants and/or therapy. IBS is depressing and depression/anxiety can make IBS worse. So break that cycle and get some help. You're unlikely to need to take a-d's for very long, so don't worry about the meds thing. Th hypno CDs have a proven track record, so if you feel you'd benefit, then go for it!
Oh...another thing. This diet is very helpful for reflux! Just watch you don't eat too much tomatoes and citrus fruits or too spicy foods. But no coffee, caffeine, carbonated drinks, etc is GREAT for dealing with reflux. I haven't had to take any meds for reflux for months now and I was really bad.
Good luck. IBS is manageable. It can just take time. But there is hope.
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Good Morning!
The overwhelming response by everyone on this board to a newcomer is amazing. It's funny how isolated and alone I have felt because of my IBS. I mean, it's been a struggle just to learn how to talk about it without being extremely embarrassed.
My girlfriend and I had a really good talk last night and she is 100% supportive. She has been watching me struggle for a long time and is overjoyed that I am finally stepping up and taking charge. It's difficult to stand by and watch someone suffer while feeling helpless. We have all been in that position and it was gratifying to be able to give her some hope even if I don't know how I am going to do this yet.
Well I just wanted to say thank you. You are all a wonderful, caring group and I am feeling right at home. I will be reading some other posts throughout the day today as I drink 2 quarts of water with some Benefiber. Problem is that I am at work so I have to get SOMETHING done today
Take care,
Brian
PS - I find it a little difficult to figure out which posts I have read and which posts are new. Any suggestions? I'm going to print this post out later today and review some of the great suggestions that have been given.
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