Haha....
#125986 - 11/29/04 05:31 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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Yeah, I know how that goes. It's easy enough to say "leave", but it's hard when you've put so much time and energy into the relationship. From our point of view... well, we don't know him, we only know you, and we all want to protect you!  Ultimately, you have to do what's right for you, in the WAY that's right for you, and everyone else will understand. (Or they won't, and they'll just have to deal - haha.)
Anyway, I won't make you talk about it any more.  Everything will work out how it should - it always does.
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Sara...this has to be short as I am running out on errands but I HAD to reply. I am so so so sorry that you are going through all of this right now, BUT, leave him now. Leave him. You deserve SO much better then that. So much better. there are many many lovely men out there that know how to love and appreciate their women..I promise. Life is TOO short...you need to find your true soulmate as soon as possible and unfortunately that means leaving others behind that didn't turn out to be. Please always give yourself the best...you deserve it. I am appalled at his little house rules..you should not have to live that way . Liberate yourself. I have never left a shared house so can't offer you advice there, but always remember (women feel too bad too often - we are naturally full of putting others before ourselves) - take are of number one! lots of love....
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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I'm back. Can't stay away from you guys!
I will have to decide and I know you all want me safe and sound.
It's hard because we've been getting along very well these past days. But as soon as things get poopy again (be it next week or next month) I will start to talk to him seriously about some MAJOR changes and warn him that if they don't change, my address will. HA!
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Dalia
#126389 - 11/30/04 12:55 PM
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Thanks Dalia.
I know I would give the exact same advice to all of you on this board.
I know that all his rules are ridiculous and that he should never talk down to me. But after 10 years of being with him, it's like leaving a marriage. We are common-law afterall.
I was just writing to Casey that I am waiting for the next bad time (as we're in a very good spot these days) to fully decide on things.
I went and looked at a bachelor apt. last Sunday. I didn't go in because the neighbourhood was a bit scary and the house itself was yucky. It just made me think "What am I getting myself into"? I will keep on the lookout for a snazzy place though and that could very well be the kick in my pants to show me that it won't be so bad. Plus, a friend from work offered to let me move in with her if need be. I've never seen her place but know it's in a trendy part of town and that says it all!
Take care too!
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Sara
#126436 - 11/30/04 04:03 PM
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daliatree
Reged: 07/10/04
Posts: 1176
Loc: Manhattan, New York
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Its my pleasure...I totally understand how it is like getting the divorce and understand how daunting it is BUT I really do not like what I hear about the way he treats you...and I do not think leapords change their spots....has he always been like that (anal, ridiculous rules, being really insensitive etc)? Or is it recent?
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Hi there. Yes, he has always been like this. But what is encouraging is he has recently given up alcohol and coffee. he is exercising again and seems to be genuinely trying to become a better person. The alcohol and coffee made him even more uptight and anal. he tells me that he thinks he had a small alcohol problem and that it's so nice to wake up on weekends without an hangover. I don't drink AT ALL anymore so maybe I'm rubbing off on him? He is trying to become more laid back.
As of late, he is encouraging me with my veganism and has even cooked some of the meals for me (and to my strict IBS standards).
I agree though that IF he's a loser, I should leave him. I am still jusding that.
I do appreciate your concern. 
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