Nelly
#125638 - 11/27/04 10:37 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi there.
You know what, our lease is up in May. I always had it in the back of my mind that if by then things were still awful that I wouldn't renew the lease. It's in both of our names.
The thing is, if we don't renew the lease, we have to give them 2 month's notice. So I would have to live with him for 2 months? No way!
I like your idea about showing him the info on the apartment to smarten him up. But, we go through these fights, make up and everything's swell for a week or two and then *bam!* back to the way it's always been. So he would just do that little routine again to keep me and I'd get sucked in like I always do.
I am starting to think it will have to be a mutual breakup and he'll have to agree to letting me leave. Or maybe he'd move out. He doesn't seem happy either. Maybe we'll have to say goodbye. Which is sad as I can't imagaine not having him around to talk to anymore.... Although when I do talk, he tells me to stop complaining all of the time. He can't handle my IBS very well.
I might be able to stay with my friend Barbara (a good work friend) as she wanted me to move in with her into her 2 bedroom apt. She knows the whole story and had a huge breakup herslef just a few months ago. Maybe I should take her up on her offer.
Thanks Nelly, for some good advice. 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi again,
He's never been abusibe physically to me but has hit my car steering well pretty darn hard in the middle of a fight. Oh ya, one time he was driving MY CAR and he got so mad at me. He stopped the car on the road, got out and walked away. I was left stunned to try and quickly get into the passenger seat and drive off. He has a bad temper. I cannot stand that at all!!!!!!
Oh, I'm getting mad remembering all the things I've tried to forget. 
I need a plan on how and when to leave. This much is becoming clear to me.
Thanks... and I'll keep you posted.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: SS
#125642 - 11/27/04 10:45 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, I know it will be hard. But I think a huge Visa balance is worth it if I'm happy.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Amie
#125644 - 11/27/04 10:47 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
The lease thing is tricky. Maybe I should look into what I should do with a local housing office or something.
I am SO GLAD that we're not married or have kids! Actually, he's always told me I'd be a terrible mom as I'm impatient. he's said that I'm not mom material. As it turns out, I don't want kids but now wonder if I would if I met a great guy?
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Apartment
#125646 - 11/27/04 10:49 AM
|
|
|
|
Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
|
|
|
Hey, if it's in both of your names, can't you just sign over the place to him? Let him have the apartment totally to himself. It would cost him GOBS of money to get a new place, and if he doesn't have cash saved up, this would be the best option for him. Otherwise if you both leave, he's stuck.
Don't put yourself through hell just cause of convienience. That's 6 months of you wasting your pretty face on this guy. Throw some money at it and it'll go away. Can you ask your parents or sell something?
~nelly~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Steph
#125647 - 11/27/04 10:56 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi there.  It's gone from bad to worse.
I have been wanting to leave him for years now. Why I haven't done so yet is beyond me. I guess it's such a scary prospect.
His rules make me feel like a kid. I also can't eat on the couch that he bought. I do anyway and he tells me that I have a terrible memory as he's told me not to do that. I remind him that I know he's said it but I don't agree with it at all. He gets mad and says I never listen to him and don't respect his property at all. He's also turned off his tv if I'm watching something that he doesn't like. He's even hidden the remote on me. And he disassembles his stereo when he's working all weekend so I can't have anyone over to watch movies ot listen to music with. Gosh, he sounds like a monster! I'm so used to this by now that I almost feel like it's normal. 
As you can tell, 95% of the things in our apartment are his things. So I'd need to buy myself a couch, tv, computer, and whatver else... $$$
My parents don't know how he is and will be shocked when we do break up. he's very nice in front of them to me. But my 2 nieces that have spent 2 weekends with us don't agree. They like him but always ask me why he yells at me and tells me he is mean to me.
Thanks Steph and I need to make a plan. Reading everyone's replies is making me feel like I can do it. 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I think he would stay too! He hates moving and 95% of the stuff in the apartment is his. So he wouldn't lose a penny. He'd just need a roommate but that would be HIS problem.
I think this suggestion is the best yet. Thanks.
So I'd need to find a place and maybe give him 2 weeks notice or something like that. Hmmm.... that's a bit more doable. If I could find a place with the first month free then I could leave even sooner. 
Thanks genius!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Apartment
#125651 - 11/27/04 11:07 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
|
|
|
It's great you don't have communal stuff. It makes it so much easier for you this way!! Save your cash and go as soon as you can afford it. You've already decided it was the best decision long ago!! That's the hardest part!!!
Girl power!!! I asked my BF and he sez, tell her just kill him, that's what I'd do. (!!!) OK, yikes! He assures me he's kidding. Now where did I hide my mad money...?
~nelly~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ha, ha that's funny. I know some guys can't stand to see other guys acting this way. If my BF's dad knew, he'd kill him. He adores me and honestly thinks of me as another daughter. My BF's sister knows some of what's been going on and it will really upset her a lot when we break up. She wants me as a sister in law and all that mushy stuff. But she's always told me to do what is right for me and she'll support me.
Oh ya, my parents have an old hideous loveseat that I could probably have, I'd just need a slipcover. Tv's are so cheap, I could get one for $200, I'm sure.
It's the rent that's a killer. In Ottawa, rental prices are crazy! A one bedroom place is between $600-900 and then you have to add heat and hydro. My share right now is only $550 plus cable and phone as extras. Yikes.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Amie
#125661 - 11/27/04 11:43 AM
|
|
|
|
khyricat
Reged: 08/05/04
Posts: 3612
Loc: Michigan
|
|
|
you probably would with the right guy... I'd talk to the local housing office, but start with the owner or landlord- if your name isn't on the lease at all its a non issue.. and another option for you $ wise- look for someone looking for a roomate or housemate.. if you can survive him for so long, you can survive being some womans housemate no matter what her idiosyncracies are... at least for a bit and save some more $$ for your own place.. also sit and write out a budget- you may be surprised if you cut out extra expenses what you can afford.
Amie
--------------------
Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
