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A nice thing happened today.
      #124890 - 11/23/04 11:26 AM
ecmmbm

Reged: 02/23/03
Posts: 1622
Loc: North Carolina

I have 3 kids, if you didn't know - 6, 4, and 2. I homeschool Luke because the school system was absolutely horrid especially given that he is a different kind of learner - he has Asperger's which bascially means he's a lot like you'd think ADHD and also very bright but has delays in language and socialization and needs things to follow a predictable routine, can't take chaotic unexpected situations or a lot of conflict, he's very sensitive too. It's actually considered on the high funtioning end of the austism spectrum. ANYWAY... why I went into all that I don't know. But I took the kids to Chic Fil A for lunch and to play today. It's always an adventure. Went soemthing like this:

First, all to the potty. NO, not in the boys, in the girls. I know you're a boy but I'm a girl. Go potty. Wash hands. Close the door, we're not done yet - wait for us all. To the playroom - shoes off, socks stay on. Shoes in the cubbies. Come back, shoes in the cubbies. Good. No, socks stay on. On your feet. Come down and put your socks back on. Good. Are you going to take your socks off? (No) Good. I go get food. Aaron (4) decides to come help me. I turn around and see that he's climbed on top the thing to reach the napkins and straws. I get him down. He carries them to the table for me. He has about 10 million napkins! We'll probably need them. We all get seated. Aaron gets his water. Tries to put the straw in by himself. He spills the entire water everywhere. I don't get mad. I send him over to tell someone to bring a mop, so he does. We clean the table - Aaron's chair is still wet so he sits in the booth with Luke and Sarah, they look cute all 3 sitting there together. Luke gets plain chicken, Sarah gets plain bread, Aaron gets a sandwich. Everybody gets a banana brought from home. We thank God for the food. Oh no it's hot! Wait for it to cool. Eat your banana first. No that's Sarah's water, this is yours. They eat most of it. Yes you can go play. Luke you cannot swing from the bar, I know it's easy but it's not safe. Sarah (2), come back, in the playroom or in your seat. Aaron do not hang on the door. Boys, you can both be the Hare, don't fight over who is Tortoise and who is the Hare. Boys come down quick Sarah has to go potty again. No not in the boys, in the girls....

I'm replaying all that because it's funny, but also because there was this family sitting on the other side of the wall from us that I noticed but didn't pay much attention to. Apparently THEY were paying attention to US. They were there when we got there. As they were leaving (after all the above happened and who knows what else) the mother came over to me. She said the funniest thing, after all our chaos she says, "I just want to tell you that you're doing a great job, I remember when mine were that age". First off, I have to pick my jaw up off the floor, look around wondering who she has me mixed up with from that morning!! My kids always seem so out of control compared to others with 1 or 2 to keep up with. Then she says, "Keep enjoying it, my oldest is 17 now and he still talks to me about everything". I'm wondering if she is a homeschool mom and can tell I am too? I don't know, but it was neat to hear, especially when stuff was so crazy. I told her that was sure what I was hoping for but at this point I was just trying to keep them all alive that long!!! Anyway, that was pretty out of nowhere but told her it made my day, so thanks.

I don't know why I'm sharing this - it was a big deal to me, I usually feel like when we go places people are mumbling to themselves that I "sure have my hands full" and count down the minutes till we LEAVE!

Hope everyone has a great thanksgiving - I'm thankful for our "crazy life", as the country song says, "Just another day in paradise" and I'm glad for it.



--------------------
Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)


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Michelle new
      #124903 - 11/23/04 11:55 AM
Sheri01

Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey

That is so great ! Is is always nice when someone(especially a stranger) notices something positive and goes the extra step to COMPLIMENT the person. That woman is so nice! And you deserved it, you must be some mom to have someone come up and say that to you!
My brother has Aspergers, too. He is 16 years old, but only recently diagnosed, because like you said, it is high functioning, and alot of times teachers/parents just think their kid has behavioral problems. My bro was always just pushed away as being ADHD, before it was 'the big craze" to diagnose all kids as such.
I know before you mentioned before that one of your kids has to be on a special diet, is it Luke? Is there away to treat Aspergers by diet? I think I ran across something in a nutrition book I was skimming through last night... sorry if I am rambling.
I am afraid for my brother at times, because since he is high-functioning and VERY intelligient he has a chance at "the normal lfe", but I am afraid he will not get it, he is getting increasingly obese due to his laziness and lack of coordination, and more importantly, the way he eats! My parents (mom especially) lets him do WHATEVER he wants. My parents dont seem too bothered and don't do much about it, they even go as far as to buy him the junk food. It is like they use it as an excuse to give up on parenting, even though he probably needs the discipline or guidance more than ever. My mom also doesn't make him go to his school (a special one for kids with minor disabilities) we are lucky if he goes half day three dyas a week. Eve nhaving friends there is not enough to keep him going.
it is alot on a twenty-something year old (me) to have all of these worries! It is also hard because I don't live with them, and I spend alot of time at work and school, so I can not really be a good influence on him. Has anything in particular helped you with your son, maybe I could give my mom advice? Problem is that she has a lot of *problems* and can barely help herself. I still do not even know much about the syndrome, but I do care about my bro a whole lot. Any good books that you have found on the subject? A guy at school told me about a fiction book written in the eyes of an Asperger, but I have not gotten ahold of it yet.

Argh, sorry for rambling on and on, didn't really mean to, but it is so rare I even hear that some one has heard of Aspergers, even though it is getting more wellknown.
Seems like my family is on the cutting edge of all disorders, right before they become the "big national concern'.

--------------------
-Sheri

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Re: A nice thing happened today new
      #124908 - 11/23/04 12:04 PM
BL

Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522


Michelle,

Gosh, how wonderful for someone to make a positive comment on your parenting skills! I know that meant a lot to you. You are right that mothers usually only get negative feedback from others.

I still remember the comments I used to get from strangers when I took my 2 very rambunctous boys (only 13 months apart) in a store. You know those bars that separate the cash register lines? Well, my boys were usually hanging and swinging on them like monkeys---and no matter how much disciplining or bribing I did, it didn't make any difference.

This has been years ago, but I still remember this older woman sticking her nose up in the air and saying to me, "I'd never let mine act like that!" And it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Didn't she realize I was at my wit's end and had tried everything to get them to stand in line politely? People can be so cruel!!!

Thanks for the reminder that we all need to be encouraging and uplifting to moms of little ones! In 19 years of parenting, I remember getting one positive comment from a friend who said, "You know you are a really good Mother." I can't remember ever hearing anyone else say that to me, which is kind of sad. I don't think I was that bad of a mom!!!! People just don't think to praise Mothers---they take them so for granted.

Now when I'm shopping and I see a mom with little ones (especially 2 little boys close in age like mine are) my heart goes pitter patter. When your "children" are 18 and 19 years old, seeing them interact is like looking in a mirror. Your life flashes in front of your eyes. You don't remember how exhausted you were. You just remember the precious times you had together! It just seems like yesterday that I was in that stage of my life. How I got to be so OLD and my boys all grown up, I don't know!

These moments with your children are so precious. Pretty soon, they will be in junior high and you will embarrass them with every little thing you do. Enjoy every single moment!!!









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Michelle- SUPER MOM! new
      #124916 - 11/23/04 12:38 PM
cailin

Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

Michelle-
GOod work supermom- its great when strangers recognise your efforts. I often enjoy watching the interaction in young families in public places. I think you can always tell so much by the way Mom looks at the kids and the way the kids look at Mom...a look says it all.

So congratulations!

Sinead

--------------------
S.

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Sheri01- Name of book new
      #124917 - 11/23/04 12:40 PM
cailin

Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

Hi Sheri
The name of the book written through the eyes of a child with Aspergers is "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" by Mark Haddon. Its an excellent read.

Sinead

--------------------
S.

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Re: Sheri01- Name of book new
      #124920 - 11/23/04 12:50 PM
Sheri01

Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey

Yeah that is the one! Now I am anxious to go get it ... have to get my papers written for school first, though...

Thanx

--------------------
-Sheri

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more asbergers stories... new
      #124923 - 11/23/04 12:52 PM
khyricat

Reged: 08/05/04
Posts: 3612
Loc: Michigan

interesting to hear... I hope home schooling works out for you. I know 2 kids with asbergers- one has just been diagnosed at age 2 (I think he's almost 3 now- time flies), and the other was diagnosed at 13 and is now 16... he's doing amazingly, but is very skinny and not very social as to be expected.. thankfully his 2 younger brothers are great with him and do things to help him feel included by groups of kids... and he has a lot of help from a school system that has worked with his mother on whats best for him!

Amie

--------------------
Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant


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Cute little kid story... new
      #124933 - 11/23/04 01:07 PM
Sheri01

Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey

Sorry I just remembered this one!
This weekend I was at Trader Joes, and there was alittle kid in the kidseat of the shopping cart in line behind me with his mom. Every time the clerk scanned on of my products he went "beep!" at the same time sounding the same way. It was soooooo cute! It took me alittle to catch on, than I turned and smiled at him and his mom. It even warmed my BFs heart, and he is a self proclaimed kid hater.

--------------------
-Sheri

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Awww! new
      #124940 - 11/23/04 01:16 PM
Linz

Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England

You sound like a great mom. So many parents seem to just scream at their kids when they have accidents like spill their drink - they didn't MEAN to! Good on you for not getting mad.

And you're a great mum for home-schooling Luke. That is so the best thing for so many kids that don't get it - your kids are lucky to have such a wonderful mother!

It's funny reading all these aspbergers stories as my MIL and I are convinced the friend that lives with us (me and Si, that is) has Aspbergers. He's not social and has serious difficulties understanding the emotions of others, but very bright, etc.

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Ooo! new
      #124943 - 11/23/04 01:18 PM
Linz

Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England

My MIL recommended I read that, she said it's fascinating.

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