Not leaving the house....HELP!
#122424 - 11/16/04 12:40 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
I don't go out by myself anymore.
Things that used to make me happy don't.
I think I'm in a bad depression.
I'm on Lexapro and you have to give it 6 weeks to work (I started week 2 today).
I'm always fatigued and in pain. I don't sleep properyl the meds don't work. I'm on even on Ambien and it's not doing anything. I am in and out of sleep day and night.
Everything I do hurts.
I used to cry that I couldn't clean our home...now I just lounge around all day.
What is wrong with tme? And how do I get out of this FUNK?
Thanks for you suggestions!
Love,
Ruch
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Oh Ruchie!
#122425 - 11/16/04 12:46 PM
|
|
|
|
|
RachelT
Reged: 07/01/04
Posts: 2350
Loc: Minnesota
|
|
|
I don't know what to say except that I hope you start feeling better soon. I'm so sorry you're down in the dumps! 
--------------------
~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Ruchie
#122429 - 11/16/04 12:55 PM
|
|
|
|
|
BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
|
|
|
Ruchie, sweetheart, when you say things that used to make you happy, don't now----that is DEPRESSION. And it is a chemical imbalance that you cannot control. Don't let people tell you "Oh, you just need to get out of the house more!" When you are seriously depressed like it sounds like you are, that will not help. You don't feel like shopping, socializing with others, and eating---and you can't sleep.
These are all the symptoms of depression. I hope to God that you have a good doctor (and/or therapist) you can trust. If I were you, I'd call the doctor's office and tell them you are worse than you've ever felt----and demand to talk to the doctor or nurse ASAP. They need to know how you feel. It may just take time for the antidepressant to work, or they may need to up the dosage or change the medicine. Sometimes if it's not the right medicine, it can make you feel worse. But if the doctor thinks it will just take time, maybe there's something else he could prescribe in the interim to make you feel better. You should not have to suffer like this!
My heart goes out to you because I have been where you are now, and it was the scariest and most difficult time in my life. I wish I were there to help you. Do you have a friend that you could call that could come stay with you during the day? If you don't even have the energy to call the doctor's office, please ask a friend to call for you. In my case, if it hadn't been for a sweet neighbor who realized just how bad off I was, I don't know if I'd be here today.
(((((BIG HUGS TO YOU))))). Please check in with us and let us know how you are doing. IT WILL GET BETTER, I promise!!!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Every time I leave the house or do anything I get physically sick from the fibro. This has been going on for years unbeknownst to me....but I'm in a HORRID flare right now and everything makes me hurt. I want out of the house...I want to go out...but I'm scared! It's a catch 22....get out and hurt for it later or stay home and be depressed.
I don't know what to do!
It's a new town and I don' have any clsoe frineds.
My therpaist isn't helping right now...she shtinks it's great I have fibro (from a religious perspective).
I just want to make myself feel better...but I don't know where to start! It's like having mono and being in the house for weeks...how do you pass the time (remember...hubby and I don;'t watch television for religious reasons...so that's out).
Thanks in advacne for any help/suggestions!
And BL...thanks for being here for me. I know tihs isn'tnormal...but I guess having fibro isn't either? I DO know it can bring on depression...which is why doc put me on these meds.
Thanks again *hugs*
Love,
Ruchie
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh Ruchie!
BIG BIG HUGS TO YOU.
Talk to Casey about Lexapro, I remember she had trouble when she started it first too but she loves it now.
It does sound like you are in the depths of depression- is there a therapist you could see to help you through this?
Take care and remember that we have all been there at some time and we are all rooting for you and here to support you and to let you vent or cry or whatever it is you need to do.
Time passing wise- do you do any crafts, scrapbooking, knitting etc? Have you photos you need to sort out?
Take care Ruchie,
Sinead
--------------------
S.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I feel so badly for you. I wish there was a way I could help! <<<<<HUGS>>>>>
Could you look up more therapists if yours is not helping right now?? You really need someone to talk to IN PERSON!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Read my quote - you will get through this. And you will be so strong.
You're in my thoughts!
~Cara
--------------------
~Cara~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
And I will NOt go through this alone!
Hubby and I will discuss getting a puppy for me if that might help.
I am going to tyr to get outisde just to sit today in the sun.
If you have other ideas PLEASE share them!
I am scared to be out alone and in pain and driving. I've almost gotten into a wreck a couple of times that way.
Being sick is depressing me. This is SO NOT LIKE ME! This is so foreign to my nature.
Thanks for beimng here!
Love,
Ruchie
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Re: Oh Ruchie!
#122475 - 11/16/04 01:41 PM
|
|
|
|
michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
|
|
|
Oh Sweetie, what a rough time you have been having lately!! I wish there was something more I could do to help. Hang in there. We all love you!
--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
RUCHIE
#122513 - 11/16/04 03:34 PM
|
|
|
|
jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
|
|
|
OK.... here's what i have to say....
you may not like it. or you may. who knows?!
ready?
if you're going to hurt at home anyway, then go out.
i know what beaglelover said (don't let anyone tell you to get out...) and i understand why she said that and i somewhat agree in plain ole depression that's the case, but i'm here to officially disagree with that right here and now for you. (sorry BL! smooches!) Ruchie, you have fibro. and depression. and wonky sinuses.  trust your sister-friend jen on this, ok? remember our pact: we'll get each other through this. ok? ok. moving on...
get up. GET UP RUCHIE. i love you. it sucks to get up and move and hurt, but do it anyway. i don't care where you go but get up out of bed and out of the house.
go sit in the bookstore and silently hate everyone for 1/2 hour then go home, but at least you got up.
go to the dogpark and kick a bench and then go home, mad that you couldn't stay there for a whole hour like you want. at least you got up.
i told you a few months ago: if you sit at home you're going to hurt more. i don't want you to hurt, Ruchie! you're going to feel better but you have to get up!
and i hope this makes sense, but you're just getting into a terrible spiral here. your Lexapro will start working soon (yes, 6 weeks for the full impact, but i bet you start getting some benefits soon). HOWEVER: sitting at home all day and being REACTIVE instead of PROACTIVE is going to slow the progress down, Ruchie.
get a puppy. you'll have to at least get up and take it to the potty (do not papertrain--- take her outside every 2 hours to pee!). you'll have something to distract you a bit when hubby is at work. name her something happy and get a few toys. get a breed that likes to fetch or retreive so you know you'll have a dog that likes to play frisbee and catch when she gets a little older. these things will keep you moving.
get up, Ruchie! trust me, please: it's going to be ok. your flare will tone down (you KNOW it will... mine did and i never thought it would. LS's did, even though it took a long time. Linzy's did.). yours will tone down one day. you HAVE TO HELP IT though. get up!
start writing your holiday cards and drive/walk one to the post office each day. that will get you out of the house.
go to the grocery store and hang onto the cart and buy some apples, then go home and nap for as long as it takes.
get up!
please just make yourself move. like i said at the beginning of this email: if you're going to hurt sitting at home and you're going to hurt getting up, then get up. what do you have to lose? in the long run, your mood will be better by being proactive. your pain will be less if you have some exercise. trust me. i have been there. recently.
get up! get a puppy!
get up!
SMOOOOOOCHES AND SMOOCHES AND MORE AND MORE SMOOOOOOCHES!
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi Ruchie,
Yes, I think you're depressed too. it's not surprising considering you've had some tricky health problems lately.
Give the anti-depressant time to work. Mine didn't fully kik in until about 4-5 weeks mood-wise. It has helped me a lot. I'm hoping it will help you get to be more like your old self.
It sounds to me like your pain, insomnia and fatigue are from your fibro? can you meet with your doc to go over the meds and see if there's anything better out there?
As for cleaning your house. That can always wait. if it's that bad, hire a maid service for a couple of hours. Lots of people do that.
Take good care of yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself either. That's an order!  
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
JenX
#122516 - 11/16/04 03:47 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
I just want to say that I think you gave Ruchie some EXCELLENT advice and it means so much coming from you since you also have fibro and know how hard it can be.
I have a co-worker with fibro and I make her take an afternoon walk with me to get her away from her desk. It seems to me that not moving gets things all tight and stiff. She always feels much better after our little walk even though the first few minutes hurt her a bit. (We just walk to get some tea which is not very far).
Anyhow, just had to tell you that your advice was great. Tough love but that's what might be needed!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I didn't read all the responses so I hope I don't repeat everything everyone else said....But (((HUGS))) first! I am just getting over PPD...it is so tough! I missed work so much and hated being home...I was getting into a FUNK.
The only advice I can offer is to find something you enjoy and make yourself do it. For me it was scrapbooking, I loved it and would plan to go to classes etc whenever I could. That way I had a way to get out and really enjoyed it. I also went to work half days and that has helped me so much.
It is so tough to deal with though. Hopefully the meds start to work soon and then you will find the energy to get out there. Good luck, hon! I feel for you!
Take care.
--------------------
Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I don't even know what to say to help you, but I think other people have had some pretty good advice for you - namely the puppy one. We just got a dog a few months ago and they just bring so much joy into your life and it would help you get out and keep you company at home. I wish I could do more to help you. Depression sucks and I've been there before too and just telling people how you feel and knowing that while you feel so hopeless and alone that there are really people rooting for you and you are definitely on our all of our minds every day. I pray for you and I hope you get through all of this as soon as possible! REALLY big hugs to you!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Very powerful very positive advice. Well done.
I would also add (and someone may have already mentioned this) that there are bridging medicines. The job of these types of meds is to enter your bloodstream quickly for quick relief while you wait for the Lexapro to build up in your bloodstream for the long-term.
Maybe this would be an option for you?
Take care,
Lefty
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
JenX
#122553 - 11/16/04 04:51 PM
|
|
|
|
|
cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
|
|
|
JenX just had to say that your advice to Ruchie was wonderful, you said it all so well, using your own experience and us non-fibromites could hear that it came from the heart. The world is better for having people like you in it.
Sinead
--------------------
S.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
BIG HUGE MASSIVE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! AND LOTS AND LOT AND LOTS OF LOVE!!!!!!!!!
Listen to Jen X she knows what she is saying about the fibro!!!! I think it is great that you two made that pack!!!
We all love you and want you to get better!!!
--------------------
Heather7476
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I can't stand to think of you this way. I don't know what to tell you, though off the top of my head all those meds (which I know nothing about, admittedly) worry me for your sake. I'm going to be praying very specifically for you!!! Someone needs to get on the ball and see that you get some REAL, PRACTICAL HELP.
Many many hugs and I know I'm not on the board all that often but you can email me anytime you ever want to: ecmmbm@carolina.rr.com
Love,
--------------------
Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Sweetie pie!
#122679 - 11/17/04 02:31 AM
|
|
|
|
Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
|
|
|
Email me when you're feeling bad, honey?!? Have I been too tough on you? But you've gotta fight this! Jen's right. If you're gonna hurt inside - get outside! I know doing anything seems to make it worse right now, but that's because you have no idea of your limits yet. You'll learn, but it's like with IBS and how far you can push it - the ONLY way you can learn is to make mistakes and learn from them. DON'T think..."that walk hurt so I'm not doing that again", think "that walk hurt so next time I go out for half as long". The Fibro depression sucks. I think everyone goes through it. You feel like this is never going to end and you'll never feel better, but you WILL. The first major flare is always the worst as you don't have a clue how to cope with it. It WILL subside and you WILL be able to do more stuff.
Doing nothing is NOT GOOD FOR FIBRO! Remember this. So if you go out and it's hurts - think of it as taking your horrible medicine. I'm not saying overdo it, but I know what it's like when you're in flare. Going for a walk can be agony, ESPECIALLY in the first few minutes. But it will help in the medium and long term.
Come on sweetie! You can do it! Remember what I said about having one mission a day? When I'm bad, I write down this week's missions on a list, then I tick them off one by one. Walk Shana round the block. Write a Christmas card and post it. Do the washing up. Anything you can think of that can be done in one go. And reward yourself with a nap and painkillers afterwards if you need to, but it will really help both the depression and the physical Fibro to have done SOMETHING. Can you try walking Shana everyday, even if it's only a 5 minute outing? Or try and play with her in the garden. Sit down for this, don't overdo it, but it can still be great fun for both of you. Does she like playing tug-of-war with a favourite toy? Or fetch? Or just roll around on the floor with her.
Have you stopped the Elavil? I take that at bedtime now to help me sleep properly and it really seems to be helping. Anything that'll help, right? You need to talk to your doc about this. And get a new therapist - I'd have strangled that one by now! Grrrr! This is a shitty thing to have. Okay, it can make you a more caring and thoughtful person in the end, but at the moment it just HURTS, right? The Lexapro should help - you've just gotta survive the next 4 weeks without seizing up!
Good luck sweetie. Email me whenever you want.
Lots of love and gentle hugs!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ruchie
Jenx has some very good advice I would listen to her however hard that may be for you. I think I have fibro. too but Dr. hasn't said so so far just arthritis.
Anyway Jenx is only trying to help you.. Get up Get up Get up. Did I mention get up!!!!!
It's a happy time of year find something you like to do and do it if only for a few minutes. Put some music on (calming music) I love Enrique and Richard Marx Tim Mcgraw. Find some you like listen.. It will help..
Hugs
Terry
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Oh Honey!
#122706 - 11/17/04 07:06 AM
|
|
|
|
Tissy
Reged: 07/15/04
Posts: 773
Loc: Baltimore, MD
|
|
|
I know how you feel Ruchie, but you've got to fight it! Remember my post way back when I was so tired of being sick and tired and I didn't know what was wrong with me and I felt depressed. That is when my Fibro was in flare and I didn't even realize I had Fibro yet until Linz suggested I talk to my doc. I thought I was in a major depression b/c I wanted to do stuff but my body was just so tired. It is the Fibro, which does cause some depression, wearing on your body. Once I was diagnosed and my doc told me I had to get a little exercise everyday and not just lay around, I forced myself to do something. He said that is how some Fibro patients end up sicker than others, they don't take care of themselves and exercise. I know it is hard but like Jen said you have to move!! Did you see my other post where I said to try to just get up in the morning and get showered/bathed and dressed? You will feel better if you are not laying around in pajamas. Then have breakfest and sit outside for a little bit. You don't have to drive anywhere stay within close range of your house on foot but get outside. It will help! I thought I would never feel better but lately minus the morning groginess I do feel better. I have good days and bad days but recently the good outweigh the bad. The bad used to outweigh the good and it seemed there was no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. I promise! If I can feel better so can you b/c I am such a weakling, but you are strong I can feel that just from your posts. Now come on girlfriend get dressed and go outside!!
I bet that dog of yours would love to get some fresh air along w/ you!
As always you are in my thoughts and prayers,
Christie
--------------------
Christie
~Hoping and Praying for Sleep!~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Jenx
#122796 - 11/17/04 10:44 AM
|
|
|
|
|
BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
|
|
|
Hey, Jenx, I feel like I need to clarify what I said to Ruchie. I don't have any experience with fibro so I can't speak for that, but I can speak from my experiences with major depression.
If it's DEPRESSION Ruchie is experiencing, getting out of the house will not make her feel better. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance---- so getting out of the house will not "make it go away." And in fact, encouraging her to do things that she might not have the physical or mental strength to do right now, may, in fact, make matters worse.
When I was going through a serious depression, my family and friends telling me "you just need to snap out of it" made me feel worse. I felt like a failure for not being able to move on with my life. The guilt was tremendous---I kept thinking "why am I not enjoying the things I used to enjoy?" But that's what depression does to you. It zaps you of your joy for life.
Although it's great that we are all here to lend her an ear and lots of support, if it's clinical depression and it goes on too long without the help of a professional, it can be very serious. I have fallen into that deep, dark hole and not been able to climb out of it .....and I kept wondering why my family and friends were encouraging me to "just get up and get moving."
If you can imagine yourself in the middle of an ocean with no lifejacket and someone yelling to you, "Just swim a little! It's not that far! You'll make it!" You can't. You don't have the strength. You're drowning ....and it's all you can do to keep your head above water.
If this is how Ruchie is feeling, she needs a professional to help her through it. I hope I'm wrong---maybe she's not feeling anything like I was. But if she is, I can't not encourage her to see a doctor because the consequences could be serious.
And Ruchie, if you're feeling better today and if I'm way off base, I'm sorry, I apologize. But we all care about you and love you---- and just want you to be better.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Beaglelover
#123021 - 11/18/04 03:21 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
|
|
|
I think we all agree that darling Ruchie needs help to get her through this!
The problem with Fibro and clinical depression is that it's even more of a vicious cycle than straight depression. If you do nothing and stay indoors, the physical Fibro can actually get worse, which then makes the depression worse, lowering levels of serotonin, which makes the Fibro worse. There's also a lot of fear and anxiety when you've just been diagnosed with Fibro and hiding away doing nothing can reinforce those fears.
I've had clinical depression myself, so I understand where you're coming from. Ruchie def. needs professional help to get her through the depression, but there is also stuff she can do to make sure the Fibro doesn't get worse in the meantime. Fibro is possibly caused by neurotransmitter imbalances, so chemically it has a lot in common with clinical depression. If the Fibro gets worse, the depression is likely to as well.
I'm on a-d's to control both the depression AND the Fibro symptoms.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
