ibs and sex
#115106 - 10/22/04 08:38 PM
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ok i have been reading and reading and reading..... i still have one unanswered question..... can or does ibs affect any else's sex life? i hope this question isn't wrong to ask. it has seriously affected mine. sorry if i offended anyone.
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first things first....the whole point of this forum is so you can enjoy talking openly and freely about the real story with ibs...not the one with flowers that we have to give at dinner parties i.e the difference between telling your parents in law that you have a 'sensitive tummy'...when what you really want to say is 'if i eat your cabbage and broccoli dish covered in cream, not only will i get cramps so bad i want to kill myself, brown water will explode from my bum with undigested particles OR i won't be able to poo for weeks and when it comes out i will feel like i am a rabbit doing rabbit plops...i may be lucky enough to be so nauseaous i have to live with my head between my knees!'. Ok, so sorry if I went on...but BE comfortable!!
I wrote a post about ibs and sex a few weeks ago. I got married four months ago and my ibs has been terrible lately because I caught a tummy bug two weeks before my wedding and it ruined me! anyway, i was feeling so bad and I just had NO interest in sex whatsoever. None. and it just wasn't me. Its normal. When that area of your body is so close to the hole that causes so much trauma, you aren't feeling too open to being sexual. Plus, feeling bloated, nauseaous, whatever.....makes you feel very unsexy in everyway. and physically, sex can actually be painful when the bowels are bad.
But we all have good moments...those are the moments to jump on your partner and make the most of it.
My problem was, that even in the good moments I had no sex drive (I have always had a good one)...and I was also getting a lot of vaginal infections...I went off the pill 3 weeks ago (been on it for five years) and my sex drive has soared. So it was very hormonally related.
So thats me....is your partner understanding?
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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I'd be offended if I actually had a sex life!
Depression is a cruel mistress...
Bob the Monk. 
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Life is transitory, love is not!
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...wih no time limits. There have been LOADS of posts on this in the past.
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I miss sex. I still have it, but my body isn't ready for it nearly as often as my brain would like it to be.  IBS - and ANY health condition, chronic or not - is going to affect your sex life. It's only natural to not want to do it when you're feeling like crap, or completely unsexy from being sick all the time, right?
I hope your partner is understanding and supportive. In a twisted sort of way, I "lucked out" - my boyfriend has some health issues of his own, so he's *beyond* understanding during dry spells.
By the way, don't worry about offending us... you'll find out pretty quickly, especially over on the diet board, we talk about everything and anything and spare very few squicky details.  That's the beauty of this place. It's a safe place where we can be totally open about things we "can't" talk about in normal everyday life.
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Well Put Casey and IBS isn't the issue in our relationship as much as Bill's health issues.. he has very severe asthma.. and there are periods when its dangerous for us to have sex when that isn't under control- like season changes, etc.. and only rarely has my IBS caused makjor problems at other times and even then he's normally more then understanding..
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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I agree with what every one else said. You can ask ANYTHING here!!
IBS did effect my sex life at first but now that I have a pretty good handel on it things have gotten much better!! It will get better!!!
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Heather7476
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I had to respond to this post- first off Dalia- Can I just copy that first paragraph and send it to my family ALL my family(inlaws too)?
And yes it must affect your intimate life- at least I sure hope that is what is doing it. I am surprised that I haven't come home to a note telling me he's out on the prowl, since he gets none of that here!
All I can say is....at some point things have got to get better.
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LOL
#115284 - 10/23/04 09:03 PM
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daliatree
Reged: 07/10/04
Posts: 1176
Loc: Manhattan, New York
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Of course you can copy it....send it to everyone!!! that will shut them up.
often when people have speculated about me being anorexic (I have a petite frame anyway) I have wished to throw that at them. You know what? Why don't I? People can be so rude. I hereby promise that if people are rude about me again I will whip that one out....their faces will be a picture!!!
Love, Dalia XXXX
P.S. Your sex life WILL get better...the only way is up eh? hhahahahaha
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Re: LOL
#115287 - 10/23/04 09:07 PM
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UrbanRain
Reged: 10/15/04
Posts: 129
Loc: Los Angeles (San Fernando Valley), Calif.
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Every night I pray that things will take an upward swing...
Uh, did I just say that?
DevilDog Bob.
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Life is transitory, love is not!
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Oh boy to funny!!!
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Heather7476
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hahahahhaha..you are a funny one!!!
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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My husband is gone alot during the week working out of town,so when i know he is coming home i am really careful about what i eat,so as not to spoil the "mood".I seem to have a bigger sex drive then him lately,so most of the time im ready to slip some Viagra into his supper!!!!
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first off.... thank you to all who have responded to my question. and thank you for your understanding and the advise about being open. i wasnt quite sure how to ask that question and now i am glad that i did. it is very hard to understand this thing that has taken over my body. my problem is that i dont go for 2 or 3 weeks at a time and when i do it's like grab a towel bite down hard and hold on. i cry myself to sleep, i am miserable all the time and my husband doesnt understand the kind of pain i am in. i have tried to explain it to him and sometimes he listens and sometimes he doesn't. he bugs me all the time about sex and that is the farthest thing from my mind. i would like to and i have just to please him even though it was very painful and uncomfortable for me. i just cant do it anymore. i have been to the doc and he has me on a ton of medications but none of them seem to be working. i have an appointment to see the GI doc in Jan and to me it seems like lightyears away. I hate the pain, I hate the cramps, I hate the way my body looks, and sometimes I just dont want to get out of bed in the morning. I have a lot of research to do about the meals and the things that I have been reading on this site. Maybe soon I will find something that will give me some relief. Again, thanks to all of you who replied to my post. :smirk:
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