Feeling helpless........sory I'm so needy these days...
#113115 - 10/14/04 11:02 PM
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sorry to complain some more...but i have to share this someone...
I'm really depressed. The Rheumy told me what he wanted me to take and NEVER CALLED IT IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband has no time to learn Torah (the most important thing to us in the world), he's feeling down, he works all day abnd comes home to make himself dinner sometimes, I just plain feel HOPELESS!
I'm crying and I can't stop. I am so all alone.
We have no money.
I have doc appointment severy day it seems.
My fam is coming and the house is a mess (spiders and bugs and all).
It's SO HARD!
I need hubby right now...but he dosn't have much t give...time mostly. It's not like I have close friends nearby.
Ok, hubby just came in and talked to me cause he cauht me crying. He said if G-d wanted him to learn Toraah...I wouldnt be sick, or something like that. If G-d wanted him to learn right now...He would not have made me sick OR He wuold have given my husband a higher paying job with less hours...you know?
I'm in a lot of pain...physically and emotionally at the moment, Crying helped...writing this out helps.....but what about the next time? I'm pretty upset with this doc (the Rheumy) and I plan to find a new one ASAP if possibl. It's so frustrating! Being in pain is hard on anyone...don't the docs know that?!
Ok...I'm goping in the other room and I'm gonna color (bought myself a Care Bear coloring book), drink some tea, try to relax, and take the med the GP presribed (GP told me not to take it tho and to take what Rheumy presribed...well, i'd love to, f the script ever showws up at my pharmacy!) GRRRR!
I need to calm doen...and I need some sleep. I overdid it today.
Thanks for listening.
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh honey!
I have to agree with your hubbie I'm afraid. Your hubby doing his job so he can look after the both of you is more important to God than learning lessons. I don't go to church as I have a lot of problems with the attitudes alot of Christians take, but that doesn't mean I don't believe. I believe God knows anyway!
Darn Rheumy. Can you call his office to check on the script? Do you not like the Rheumy?
Money sucks. Or, at least, no money sucks! Why do you think I'm working?! I feel like poo today, but I'm gonna go to work cos we NEED the money. It's a crappy stuation all round. Did you think about whether you have something like the Citizens Advice Bureau? You need to talk to someone who can help you apply for disability.
Sod the mess! You're ill, your husband's really busy...your family will just have to put up with it! Or help you out. REALLY not important atm sweetie.
Going to the doc alot is boring, but at least it's positive!
Hang in there.
Love Linz
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*HUG* how I wish I was local.. your health has to come first and screw your family! if they can't understand that and cope... then they need to wake up and be better family to you! hey- if it was my mom and her health issues were under control and mine weren't- she'd come and clean while visiting- my grandmother used to do it to her.. but right now I'm in better health then she is.. which isn't saying much so we aren't working on the house, but my new housekeeper started yesterday and we made amazing strides working together... though I'm having some breathing issues from a few of the chemicals we used- will have to replace them.
Amie
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Ruchie <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<BIG HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>
Screw the house. Your family can either deal or help ya clean it!!! You come frist!!!!! Hubby is right and sounds like you have a great man there Ruchie!!!!! I wish we were closer. I would help ya out!!! I am going to e mail ya today!! Call your Rheumy and find out what the heck is taking so long!! There may have been some mix up!!! (two people thinking the other one called it in type thing)
I hope you are felling better today!!! Money SUCKS!! I can relate right now hon trust me!!!
Good Luck!!!
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Heather7476
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Hey Ruchie, sorry you are feeling down. Remember when you told me I should get an award for handling the house,job, and kids. And I told you the house work comes last and it is a real mess usually. You told me that is okay b/c it is more important to take care of myself and kids first. Well girlfriend that was good advice. So listen to yourself!  You are pretty wise. Your health comes first and your hubby sounds like a great man who isn't suffering more than he can handle. So cheer up things will get better once you get the meds all sorted out. I was miserable until the meds and although I am not a 100% things are manageable now.
{{{{{{{{Gentle HUGS}}}}}}}}
Christie
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Christie
~Hoping and Praying for Sleep!~
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Oh sweetie, big hugs, you know we all love you!! Is there some sort of support group in your area where you could meet others with similar health problems? Call your local hospital and ask for a list of support groups in your area!
It sucks being in a new town and not knowing anyone and needing help! I wish there was something more we could do to help you. I know how the pain can wear you down and make you depressed. I agree, screw the house! Your family can either look the other way or help you clean it up! Don't be so hard on yourself. I can't remember, are you already on an anti-depressant? If not, I think it may be something to talk to your dr about. Even for a short while until you get things under control a little better. Check with your local health department, a lot of times they will offer free counsling to people who can't afford to pay a shrink! It helps you to vent here to us, it will probably help you to talk with a counsler! More hugs for you!!!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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*HUGS*
#113195 - 10/15/04 07:29 AM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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I wish I was closer, I would so come over and give you real hugs and help you out. You're an incredibly strong lady for dealing with all you do. Go ahead and take care of yourself, you need to, care bears are fun! Your hubby sounds like he's trying the best he can and so are you, so there's nothing else that can be done. Just remember how wonderful and strong you are!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Ruchie,
I hope you are feeling better sweetie. Prayers & hugs your way.
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Daisy
"Sometimes you are the Windshield, sometimes you are the bug".
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Ruchie!
#113242 - 10/15/04 10:22 AM
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Sheri01
Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey
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# 1 rule of a support board- do not feel insecure or bad about being needy! It's what we are here for!
I hope everything works out for you, atleast your husband seems very caring and understandoing, be thankful for the time you get to spend together.
If there has been one thing I have found out in my young life, it is that everything always works itself out.
If you let the bad affect you, it will get the better of you. keep thinking happy and to the future (don't necesarily have to be optimistic) and things will get better. This isn't just encouragement, but the truth.
Good luck,
and the rarely seen from Sheri....
*hugs* ok, I will try again.... *HUGGGGS!*
never feel comfortable giving hugs, even in cyberspace! 
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-Sheri
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Ok...I slept for only 5.5 hours last night (at most) on TWO sleeping meds.
So i wen to the 6 am OA meeting this morning. And you won't believe what I wtore to my sponsor afterward:
"my fam is coming and they don't know about OA. but if i need to tell them...if it comes up...who cares? if they don't like it, which i would love it if they're supportive...that's ok with me. i feel calm. they don't have to like the choices i make (is this coming out of MY muth?!?!) but it is the right one/best one for me.
wow! this is new. assertive, calm?"
he-LLO! i still ccan't believe I wrote that?!?!
Then last night at Walgreens to pick up my script I bought mysef a loofa scrub. Hubby and I just dont' spend mony on things like that! but my shower this morning was just GLORIOUS!
i need new clothes i've gained about 30 lbs since hubby and I got marries (more like 35), and I bought a jacket that would cover my hips (religious reasons) for $25 at WalMart and hubby's like "take it back and you can get the blankie you want". we have like no money to spend! i don't know whjat to do. i want a comfy blankie to curl up and snugfle with...but I NEED clothes! i wish there was some easy way to figurew this all out....
ok, ok...i'll try and let the dishes go. it's gonna be REAL HARD though! i did vacuum this am but it wasn't the best of ideas.....no more heavy objects or this gal!
my b-day in in Nov...so I think i may keeo the jacket as a b-day present.
i'm wokring on a routine to relax. showres, candles, music, warm booties on my footsies, warm/soft blankie, coloribng book, and thats it for now. i see that i really need to be relaxed to help with the pain!
i'm on low dose ad's...i think i need something for anxiety perosnally...
okie dokie...i DO have to go to the storew today...and get food...and i think while i'm out i'll get that blankie (it ain't cheap...$33...but it' not over the top either, is it?)
thanks for being hee for me...this is a touhg time for my hubby and I! it helps to have all of you here! *hug*
p.s. i do have a therapist......and she helps...but an hour a week ain't enough for now...i know one day it will be tho and I SO look foeward to that day!
Love and *hugs*
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Re: Ruchie
#113261 - 10/15/04 12:46 PM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Edited by michele. I'll send you an e-mail ruchie!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
Edited by michele (10/15/04 12:50 PM)
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