OMG What should I do now!!!
#111176 - 10/07/04 01:49 PM
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heather7476
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 2996
Loc: South East Michigan
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Ok I am not going to name names. I am going to try real hard not give to much info on the other party either, BUT HOLLY SH*T A couple that me and my husband know have asked my DH if we would be interested in swaping partners for a night!!!!!!!!    My DH said no but I guess the orther husband keeps asking!!! I am not interested. If that is your way of life good on ya!! I am a one man women (like I need two to deal with), and I would KILL my husband if he touched another women  !!!
So how the heck do I act normal around these people again. How do we make them stop asking. I don't even want to see them anymore I turn beet red every time I do!!!
HELP!!
( by the way DH would kill me if he knew I was telling you this!!!!
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Heather7476
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How horrible!!! What a bunch of weirdos!!!! I would stay away form them too!!! What bugs me is your DH told them NO and they keep on asking!!! HEllO!!!! They sound so creepy!!! NOT to mention that being married means something....what about those vowes you take??? Don't those mean anything anymore?? What does this guys wife really think? Poor woman!!!! I'm totally grossed out by this!!!!
Good luck to you...steer clear of them!!!
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In the words of Janice from friends....OH....MY...GAWWWWWWD!
I have no idea how to deal with a situation like that Heather, I think I would be really uncomfortable around the people. Imagine your hubby having to go back to the guy and look him in the face too. All you can do is try to act normal.
You *could* feel flattered though....on second thoughts maybe not...eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!
Sinead
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S.
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I know!! I don't understand why they asked again!!!! My DH is getting pissed!!! I told him we should just avoid them as much as poss. YIKES!!!
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Heather7476
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When I was single I had a couple friend of mine proposition me to get "together" with them. After they made their intentions clear, I never saw them again. No thanks!
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Quote:
I know!! Ha! the words of Monica this time I don't understand why they asked again!!!! it gets more and more like an episode of Friends now My DH is getting pissed!!! I told him we should just avoid them as much as poss. YIKES!!! have fun with this one Heather!
Sinead
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S.
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I know at first I was like hey someone besides my husband wants me  then i was like OH crap someone besides my husband wants me YYYUUUUUKKKK!!!!!
I turned so red when my husband told me he burst out laughing!! I am just glad he was like hell no or i would be crying about my divorce right now. 
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Heather7476
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Yep NO Thanks!! we have known them for years to!!! I am just floored!!!!
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Heather7476
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Heather, LMBO! you are a scream!! Its that time of night again though where I HAVE to go to bed. Its like when you're a kid and all the good stuff comes on TV when you are so tired. Everyone seems to be online when I need to sleep. Damn timezones. What time is it where you are now? Its 11.30 pm here.
Sinead
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S.
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It it's 6:34PM. I am sorry you have to go to bed  But you need your sleep so go TO BED!!!! Good Night!!!
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Heather7476
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I have been thinking, if they have the neck to ask you then they are obviously not embarrassed so you should not be embarrassed either.. if only things worked like that though.
Goodnight,
Sinead
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S.
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Normaly things like that wouldn't bother me as long as I am NOT the ONE being asked. To each his own, but not my own THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
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Heather7476
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Ya, some people can't take hints.
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I'd be really uncomfortable, especially around the husband who can't take no for an answer...
I have been there.. a very old and dear friend- who introduced me to Bill, and was in our wedding... was breifly (2 years) married to a man who kept trying to get her to do stuff like that and tried to get us to join them at one point.. thankfully he did some other wacky stuff and she caught on and got out fo the marriage (hello- water on her his guitar was not a reason to pull a gun on her 12 year old!)
Anyway- she's struggling as a single mom again and learned her lesson- she's had 3 bad marriages and swears she won't get involved with another man.. and if she does ever remarry it will be after a very long relationship leading up to it.. she jokes- longer engagement then Bill and I (we had a 5 year engagement for a variety of reasons).
Amie
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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AHHH!
#111268 - 10/07/04 08:26 PM
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Sheri01
Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey
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that is so crazy heather! I missed this earlier... wow!
I would take it as a compliment, make sure they know that 'no' means 'no', and if they keep asking, I would avoid them. DO you think that DH made it obvious to them that it was a 'no'? Most guys I know are so nonconfrontational that they 'allude' to things and don't just come out and say 'no'. If they keep asking, maybe he is sending mixed signals, or they still think that there is a chance?
Unless you change your mind, but that is a whole OTHER story
You and your DH must be quite the hotties to get an offer like that!
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-Sheri
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OH Heather, I cannot imagine being propositioned by so called "friends". A second time no less too!
My H is a very strong minded man. He tells anybody and everybody exactly how he feels about things and he doesn't care if they like it or not. After 28 years together, some of it has rubbed off on me, though I do consider who and what I am saying before it comes out of my mouth.  That said...
A question if you don't mind, and please don't take offense. Where is your h seeing this guy, to be in a position where this guy has a chance to repeatedly dog him about it? If it is at work, then I could see how it would be hard to get away from him. IF it were me, and remember, this is no advice, this is just what I would do if it were me. I would make sure my h understood that if the question is asked again, under no uncertain terms is this guy to walk away from the conversation not KNOWING where the two of you as husband and wife stand on it. IF that didn't work I would def call up his wife and tell her, NO WAY!!! And, I would also make sure she understood that the so called "friendship" is over. Done. Caput. BYE-BYE!!!
Just think, if they are asking you and your H, then who else in the circle of friends you have did they ask? And, by chance, how many of them said YES!! THat is extremely disgusting to me. YUCK.
I have a friend whose ex in-laws are into this nasty stuff. THey will do it with anybody and everybody. Swapping partners is NOT the only thing these people are into either.
Ever noticed a video camera sitting around when you visit their home? IT could be turned on.......ok, I will stop now. Just putting in my two cents.
I would be very upset if this happened to us. Maybe it will just go away?? Ya figure??
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A few years back, I was having a lot of problems. Mostly mentally,had a break down, was taking medication (too much for sure). I started gaining weight at a rapid pace. I jumped from being a size 9 all the way up to a 22. It was horrible, embarassing, uncomfortable, there are no words to express how I felt about myself at that time.
We had gone out one night to a very public place (mostly families) I can't go into detail about the place, to protect others. Anyway, many many people were moving about. A man who had had differences with me and my husband over rules and regulations invovling children, at this place, walked over to my over 6"plus, COWBOY-MAN-HUSBAND. And asked him a question as to why I was so FAT? In a split second, he was on his feet and had this guy by the throat,?????, I know, I was shocked too!! OMGosh!!! It took 3 people to pull him off the guy. I did not happen to be in the area at the time, and thank goodness because it would have crushed me! A comment like that was the last thing I needed to endure at that time in my live. Everyone close to us never came to me and said one word about it. I consider that loving and kind. He told me about it several years later. I can't tell you how much my love for that man grew at that moment. HE said "Baby, I am not going to let anyone talk about you like that without taking him down". HEis not a violent person, but dang, don't be talkin about his woman!!!!! 
My point being, I would hate to see how he would react if some "friend" asked him if he wanted to swap? OMGosh!!!!
Oh, being on HEathers diet for several years has brought my weight back down to a size 14. Yayyyyyyyy. I feel much better about myself now. I hope I can continue to loose more weight, my dr. gave me a hard time last week to get out and exercise. I told him I would.....ahem, I will as soon as it quits raining.
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Re: AHHH!
#111309 - 10/08/04 05:59 AM
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heather7476
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 2996
Loc: South East Michigan
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That's just it we are just normal people!!! I am overweight to boot!!! husband and I talked last night and he said the first time he just laughed and say ya right no way!! The second time he said listen there is no way I am letting you touch Heather!!! ( i changed some words due to I can't post them on here ) He asked one more time my DH said it was more like the wanted to know why not!! My Dh told we not into that and told the guy if asked again they were going to have a big problem!!! So I hope this done now!!! I realy don't want to see these people again!!!
Thanks
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Heather7476
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Dh said he made it clear this last time that he asked again they were going to have a problem. I am asuming that he mean he is going to knock the guy out!! We had along talk about this last night!! We have agreeded to avoid them as much as possable!!! I am hoping this will all get pushed under a rug and things will go back to normal after awhile!! All though I will still the mental piture in my head for ever YIKES AND YUUUKKK!!!
Thanks
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Heather7476
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Hi Heather,
I'm on my way to work so I have to make this short.
The same thing happend to me and hubby.....long time ago....when we were in our 20's. We were on a bowling team and this one couple was acting kinda funny towards us and the guy was always flirting with me....I didn't like it. Finally the guy asked hubby if he was interested in wife swapping that they did it all the time. OMG.....hubby said NO WAY and that was that. Needless to say it was uncomfortable being around them but as soon as the league was over we were outta there!
I'm a one-man gal, too. Stay away from them.
Have a great day
Barbie
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A few years back I had to start taking some meds for female problems that made me gain about 70 pounds in 4 months. I was already overweight but I was ok in my body!! After gaining that weight I wasn't!! I can total understand how a comment like that would hurt!! I used to avoid places with people I didn't know because I always thought they were judgeing me about my weight!! I have also lost weight on Heather's diet. About 40 pounds!!! i am feeling much better about my body again!!
My usaband would have knocked that guy out to!! He loves me no matter whice shape I am in!!! We have Good guys Gigi!!! I wouldn't trade mine for anything!!! We have been together since I was 16. I am 28 now!! Why on earth would i want anyone else!!!!
Thanks
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Heather7476
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Move On
#111362 - 10/08/04 09:45 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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How close do you live to these people? Is it possible to avoid them?
Wife swapping was popular in the late '60's. (I'm amazed it's back in vogue!) When we were first married, I tried being cool about it when the next-door neighbor approached us, even though I was repulsed by the suggestion and even more so every time I saw them; it was damn difficult since they lived so close. I was glad to finally move away.
If this is something that repulses you, as it obviously sounds like it does, I'd avoid them -- hopefully hubby will do the same.
Good luck,
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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**NOTE: WRITTEN BEFORE READING ANYONE ELSES POST**
When you see them pretend it NEVER happened????
I can't COUNT how many times I've been asked. We know LOTS of couples that swing/swap/etc... really in this day and age it is NOT a big deal nor should you or ANY OF US be surprised if we are asked to join. Take it as a compliment, say thanks but no thanks that is just not my thing and move on. BUT, most important.... make if CLEAR to your hubby that you are NOT interested. Maybe him asking YOU ("on behalf of his friend") is really his way of letting you know he is interested. BUT MAYBE NOT EITHER... you just HAVE to be open with your hubby about it.
Ok... that is just my two cents... (maybe after Vegas I'll have more cents $$$$$ to give, since I'm gonna win the BIG jackpot) hehehe
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
Edited by Shell Marr (10/08/04 11:26 AM)
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Heather I asked my husband's opinion about this & he said if the guy was a true friend he would take no for an answer & if not SEE YA. Both my husband & I have been around the block a few times & are not saints (my third marriage 1st one we were too young, 2nd I had a labotomy & this is his second), we both realize how sacred marriage really truly is. Good luck to you. By the way this has a high ICK factor. 
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Daisy
"Sometimes you are the Windshield, sometimes you are the bug".
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