Body piercings, college students---and parents!!!
#110713 - 10/06/04 06:20 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Our son is coming home tomorrow for his first visit after going away to college. We got an email from him this morning that says, "Just wanted to let you know I got my lip pierced. So don't freak out!"
Ok, my husband and I are freaking out!
I figure he probably did it for shock value, so I figure it's best to act like it's no big deal.
If you knew him, you would not believe he had this done. He has a huge fear of needles (any medical procedure, in fact.) He used to faint every time he went to the doctor. To give him a shot, the nurses would have to hold him down because he was terrified.
Ok, so you ladies are going to have to help me. I'm not prepared for this.
No wonder he said he has been eating soup in his dorm room.
His lip? Sorry, but I can't imagine why anyone would want something in their lip. Wouldn't that be very uncomfortable? And unsanitary? How can you eat with something in your lip?
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hmmmm..
I am a student and I have my belly button pierced but that is not quite as extreme.
As long as he got it done somewhere sanitary he should be fine. I guess you can just hope that if he's anything like my ex boyfriend.. his email was sent to trick you into thinking he did something he didn't really do. He may be doing this just to scare you??!?!?
just a guess.. I really have no clue.. but it could be. i'm a kid and us kids like to make our parents mad sometimes. 
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Ashley
#110717 - 10/06/04 06:46 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thanks for your comments. I'm hoping he did it just to shock us, and if we don't make a big deal out of it, he'll remove it later and decide it's not too much fun wearing this thing in his lip.
I don't know what I expect. He's at a big art school!
I just hope he had it done at a sanitary place. Now I'm worried he'll get hepatitis or something else from this.
You know moms, we always worry.
He is the last person in the world I would've thought would have had this done----because he is so terrified of needles.
I just hope it's something small and not huge My tummy is in knots worrying about this. Now I'm kind of afraid of what other surprises may be around the corner. Gosh, I wasn't expecting this on the very first visit home.
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LOL!
#110720 - 10/06/04 06:55 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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That's funny. Never heard it from the parent's view before. Don't make a big deal about it. A well placed, sarcastic remark from a parent will go a long way! Like... "is that for oral sex?"
~nelly~
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Think of it this way....at least it can be removed!! If he'd gotten a tattoo then he's stuck with it for life.
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No problem.. he could potentially be joking..
let us know when he gets home!
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Nelly
#110727 - 10/06/04 07:41 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I was thinking of saying, "Now I know why you've been eating all that soup in your dorm room." (He told me he bought a hot plate and had been eating Ramen noodles. After we paid a fortune for the dining hall service!!!)
He probably hasn't been able to eat anything else for awhile. He asked me if I would fix some spaghetti for him while he's home. Maybe I should tell him I got him a big steak!
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Re: Ashley
#110728 - 10/06/04 07:44 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I don't think he's joking. I think he knew he had to tell me ahead of time so I could get used to the idea. He knew I would've had a heart attack if he just walked in the house like that!
Someone please tell me, is this a small thing between your lip and chin? Or actually on your lip? Tell me this is not going to be something huge.
I know----I'm glad it's not permanent. May leave a scar though.
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Lip Rings
#110729 - 10/06/04 07:50 AM
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Kimm
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 1171
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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the small one between your lip and your chin is called a labrette....then there's the regular lip ring which can be done anywhere on the lip (the middle, the side, etc.)
If it leaves a scar it'll be barely noticable...I wouldn't worry too much about that....
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 Hi BL.
You sound like my mom when I got a tatoo! Everyone is right - at least it's removable!
I'm sure it's a silver loop on his lip - it's just a phase he's going through....I went through that too - at one point I had 11 peircings....now I only have 6 - 5 in my ears and one in my belly button. That's still a lot I realize...but as soon as I get pregnant the belly button one will be gone...and I hardly ever wear that many earrings anyways!
Nelly cracked me up - if you said something about oral sex I bet he'd be SO embarrassed about it and want to take it out.
Let us know how it goes!
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~Cara~
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Cara
#110734 - 10/06/04 08:15 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thanks for your reply. I'm sure it's just a phase he's going through. But his lip? I just can't imagine why anyone would want one in their lip or nose! I can't stand it when I have an ulcer on the inside of my mouth---or a buger in my nose That drives me insane. Why something artificial in those places? Even labels on the inside of my clothes make me nuts!!!
And no, I don't think I'll be mentioning oral sex at the dinnertable!!!
And let's hope our other son (a year younger) won't get any ideas from this. Maybe it will gross him out. He's the conservative one of the family. He's going to die when he sees his brother.
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Not knowing is driving me nuts! The more information, the better. I don't like surprises.
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Haha...
#110737 - 10/06/04 08:20 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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You'll probably luck out with your younger son. I was always the crazy rebellious one, and my two younger brothers have done NOTHING that I've ever done... so don't worry about that. 
I had my lip pierced, once upon a time (not all that long ago!). Surprisingly, it's not unsanitary, and once it heals, it's not difficult to eat, either. I forgot I had it after the first week or so. And no, it doesn't hurt. But it's a phase, no doubt. Most people I know - myself included - haven't kept their lip piercings for more than a few years.
-- Casey, the many-times-over pierced and tattooed
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Hey BL,
I don't get it either. It's just SOOO beyond me. When my best friend (who's 15 years younger than I) came to visit me 2 years ago, she lifted up her shirt and displayed a belly-button ring. EWWWWWWW.
I tried being cool about it, but I'm infamous for "shooting from the hip," and it was all I could do to keep from screaming at her, "What the hell were you THINKING?!" Instead, what came out of me was, "Monica, sweetheart, why would you want to stick holes and dangly stuff in that beautiful body of yours?!" She didn't say anything in reply; she just kissed me on the cheek and walked away.
Me and my big mouth.
BL, trust me. DON'T SAY ANYTHING! It'll come back to haunt you. Try not to stare at it, and try to be cool. 30 years from now, he'll look back at pictures of himself with that thing on his lip and say to himself, "Self, what was I THINKING?!" Meanwhile, be grateful it's not on his tongue. I hear horror stories from my dentist about those things!
Good luck,
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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I needed to hear that. I'm sure it won't last long---he's just going through a phase. But he's always been such a nonconformist that this surprises me. This seems like following the crowd---which he's never done.
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Bevvy
#110752 - 10/06/04 08:52 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I know---this will be the hardest thing in the world for me to act like it doesn't bother me. Because, like you, I'm never one to hold back my feelings! But I know I have to ignore it because I'm sure he wants to make us mad and get a reaction out of us.
And yes, I'm glad it's not his tongue ---or a tattoo. Lord help me the day he comes home with one of those. I may kill him!
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I agree with the others, try your best to not make a huge deal out of it. My response when my 18 year old stepson got his tongue pierced was to call him by his full name & ask him WHAT THE HELL HAD HE DONE? He also swore to me that it didn't hurt. Yeah right!!! When I bite my tongue I whine like a baby. I digress. Most importantly, I want to share his fathers reaction. My husband was not happy & told him that the tongue ring did not make him happy, but he had better not get a tatoo. Well of course he had gotten a tattoo right above his ankle that he kept hidden from us for two years!!!! He kept it covered with bluejeans, socks etc. Our youngest son, who is eight years younger let the cat out of the bag. I felt like such a dumbass, but he was very good at keeping it hidden. I thought he just had a foot being covered thing. . He was scared of his Dad finding out, because of what he had said. His Dad wouldn't have done anything, he was just all bluster. I guess what I am trying to say, if you keep it somewhat calm, he probably won't go doing a bunch of weird things. My son, the younger one (18), so far hasn't gotten anything pierced or tattooed, he had wanted to & we told him when he turned 18 & was making his own money then go for it (we didn't really mean it), so far he hasn't. He has learned from his big brother. Hang tough, it will be ok.
--------------------
Daisy
"Sometimes you are the Windshield, sometimes you are the bug".
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Lip piercing's are not good. Placque (the white sticky stuff) can develop on the inside lip when it's pierced, just as easily, if not easier than on teeth. If it's not cleaned and taken care of properly, it can get infected. Also, the backing (or whatever it may be) that rests on the gum tissue on the inside lip, can cause the gum tissue to receed, or "wear away", exposing the sensitive roots of the teeth.
Having a pierced lip may be "cool", but in the long run, it's really not, especially when you think of the damage it can cause in the mouth.
Beaglelover, I'm not trying to freak you out or make it worse for you, I just really feel that you should be aware, and make him aware of this perspective. I hope I've helped. 
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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I was always the conservative one. never tried drugs, never drank, etc.
A few months before I turned 21 I wanted to do somehting fun and crazy. I wanted to get my belly pierced.
I called my mom and told her. LOL She wasn't happy aboit it...and asked me what I would do when I got pregnant. She cou;dnt' say much casue I was always so good LOL
Well, I got it done at a reputable, sanitary place...it didn't hurt...and went on my way. I got it removed about 2 years later...I didn't want to be married with a belly button ring! LOL
It was a phase for me for sure. And my mom letting me know she wasn't thrilled without freaking out was def. the way to go! If she had lost it that would've egged me on more I think.
The best advcie I can give is: Let him know you're not thrilled and DROP IT! Or for shock valuie...tell him you like it and think it's cool. Tell him you're thinking of geting one too. Then he won't have the "I wanna freak my fam out" motivating factor ogoing for him anymore!
In any case...you'll get through this just fine! I have confidence in you! dEf. let us know how it goes!
*hugs*
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Re: Nelly
#110785 - 10/06/04 10:40 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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LOL! YES! Steak sandwiches au jus, with french bread!!
Don't worry about the dining hall, though. It's just insurance that he won't starve. It fulfills your obligation to keep him fed. Plausible deniablity.
~nelly~
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Yes! Get one too! Then drag him around the mall. Offer to have them chained together. Take pictures.
~nelly~
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Re: BL
#110791 - 10/06/04 11:06 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Looks like I'm coming in a bit late on this one! Sorry, I have been busy at work! Personally, I don't have any piercings other than my ears. I thought I wanted a belly button ring but I figure my belly hurts enough as it is, why torture it??!!
Well, at least he DID forwarn you! Imagine the shock if he just showed up at home with it! At least now you have a little time to get used to the thought! I agree with everyone else though, don't make a big deal out of it! I would mention the possible dental problems it could cause though! Maybe call your dentist to get the story straight from them and see if there is anything preventative he can do to prevent some of the problems already mentioned with the teeth and gums?
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Ruchie
#110837 - 10/06/04 02:09 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thanks for your perspective. I was thinking of acting like it was cool (using reverse psychology on him.) What if I said, "Man, that is so cool! Are you gonna get another one somewhere else?" Maybe that will gross him out that his mother thinks it's neat.
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Thanks for your comments. I am going to try to play it cool. It will be so hard for me to keep my big mouth shut. And what you said about your son and the tattoo, I'm afraid that's next, if it hasn't happened already.
I don't know if I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm worried that he may be covered in tattoos. I'm sorry, but as a mother, I can't handle something like that---because it's permanent and I know he will regret it later.
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Becky ....
#110848 - 10/06/04 02:21 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Ahhhh, I know I asked for information, but that was more than I wanted to know. I need reassurance that this is going to be ok, not information that is going to make me panic. I am such a huge worrier. Now I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I will not sleep tonight ---for worrying about what this might do to his mouth.
If I try to pass this information on to him, he'll won't listen to me. (I'm his mother, I'm stupid and don't know anything!)
I had decided today that this piercing was harmless, but now you're telling me it's not. I can't handle this.
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Thank you for making me laugh! I need so much to laugh about this. I am panicking, I know, but I'm a huge worrier. I need someone to help me lighten up.
Yes, I think that's a great suggestion----hard, crusty French rolls! What else could I serve that would make him decide this "thing" is not a good idea?
And yes, I know we've wasted our money on the dining hall--- (and it was a TON of money). I could've redecorated my house with that wad of cash! But it was required for freshmen living in the dorm.
I like the way you put that---insurance to prevent him from starving! Ha!
Ok, make me laugh again. I need to laugh.
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Yes, maybe we could get a matching set! Wouldn't that be cute? Then we could have our picture made with Santa and send it to the grandparents for Christmas.
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Michele
#110859 - 10/06/04 02:32 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Yes, he knew better than to not warn me. I would've had a hissy fit---right in the driveway in front of his new friends that are bringing him home.
That's a good idea about calling the dentist. However, I don't know if I want to know. If the dentist tells me it's really bad for him, what in the heck can I do about it? He won't listen to me. Then I will just worry even more.
I just hope he had it done by a professional, and not one of his friends at school!
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BL....
#110873 - 10/06/04 03:13 PM
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Of COURSE you'll sleep tonight! That's an order Seriously...I doubt he has tatoos too...
You're gonna TOTALY play it cool! You can so thos! And we're here for ya every step of the way...just as you're always here helping all of us *hugs*
Don't be too hard on yourself...YOU"RE NORMAL for feeling and reacting the way you are.
And rememebr...we love you BL!!!! *hugs*
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I know it is tough, I will keep my fingers crossed. They are so wise and all knowing at this age:), but they do listen and can totally surprise you. It sounds like you have done a good job & he is just experimenting a smidgen. I am sure he will be just fine. Keep us posted.
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Daisy
"Sometimes you are the Windshield, sometimes you are the bug".
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Tee heee!
#110921 - 10/06/04 05:14 PM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Get a clip-on one. Answer the door with it. Pretend you're not wearing it.
Ooo-- better! Answer the door with PLIERS!
~nelly~
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--------------------
Heather7476
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How about some nice corn on the cob?? And some lovely apples for dessert. Then you can sit by the fire and whistle together, as a family. *Tffwheee! Tptheweeeee!*
Make sure to videotape it for posterity!
~nelly~
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I DID NOT mean for you to feel panicked about it. I am SO SO SO SO sorry!!!!! I should of just kept my mouth shut! I was only attempting to educate you, not make things worse. I agree with everyone else, that if this is a decision he's made, that you should be "easy going" about it. Afterall, he did feel comfortable enough to admit it to you before you saw it and freaked. He obviously trusts you. The "damage" does not happen over night!!! It does take time. If you can, try not to worry about it. (I know, easier said than done!) Approaching him in a calm manner and discussing the *possibilities* of damage in the future, as adults, I think would benefit both of you.
I REALLY, TRUELY am sorry for causing such a panic with you. I didn't realize it would have that effect on you. In the office, it's my job to educate parents and children about these types of things. I'm usually pretty good at coming across in a non-threatening manner, and I'm more often than not, successful at helping people out.
Again Beaglelover, I am, from the deepest part of my heart, sorry for making you feel worse. I really hope that you're able to work this out with your son, and come out of it with both of you feeling good. Please, please, don't worry so much about it that you put yourself into a full blown IBS attack.
Sorry! 
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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of it being funny anymore. We just told our other son, and he laughed his head off! We asked him not to go to school tomorrow and tell everyone---to at least let us get a chance to talk to his brother first. I walked upstairs and I could hear him on the phone. He had called his brother on his cell phone. (this surprised me because they are not very close). He asked him if it hurt (at first) and if he had gotten any tatoos (no, thank God!).
He wanted to know what I thought---and if I was mad.
I need to go to bed. I wish I didn't know about this. Too much to think about when I'm trying to sleep.
I know it's not that big of a deal. I'm just a worrier---wondering what he's going to do next!!!!
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Becky
#110950 - 10/06/04 08:00 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
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It's ok. I know you meant well. I'm just a worrier---and very emotional these days. This week I reduced the dosage on the medicine I take for bipolar disorder, and now I'm regretting that decision. (I didn't think I needed it. Ha!) My emotions are all over the place. I think I better up the dosage again tomorrow ----or I will be one raving, ranting Mom by the time he gets home!
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Re: Becky
#110951 - 10/06/04 08:02 PM
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RachelT
Reged: 07/01/04
Posts: 2350
Loc: Minnesota
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Well, I would like to wish you extra luck, if I may. I'll be thinking about you!!! I'm sure evrything will turn out fine! Please, keep us posted!
--------------------
~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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I had friends that had piercings back when they were first popular. They all ended taking them out after they got tired of them. I have a feeling his lip ring won't be in for more than a year. They tend to get in the way.
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RachelK
#111034 - 10/07/04 06:36 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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No---I wish! Our other son called him last night and they talked about it.
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