No baby this month
#108362 - 09/25/04 10:20 AM
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heather7476
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 2996
Loc: South East Michigan
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I started my period today. No baby this month. I am not sure what I am going to do now. I have to decide by tommrow if I am going to start the pill this month. I am so depressed and confused. I just don't know what to do. I am pretty sure my hormones S/P? all messed up because I have started getting black hair on my chin and breasts  My doctor said that she will test my hormones on Oct 13 when I see her next. I just want to crawl in bed and forget anything else in the world excists. I have to play the happy Aunt tonight to. All my nieces and nephews are spending the night. I want to cry but I can't. I am just so depressed again. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to quit trying but feel selfess for it. I feel like I should just suck it up and deal till I get pregnant. Then try to manage the IBS. I just needed to get this out. I feel like there is something wrong with me as a person. Like I don't feel like other people do. I don't know, it is hard to explain. In my head I feel like I am going nuts. I can pitcure my self rocking back in forth in the floor pulling my hair and I have fight real hard some times not to let myself do it. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want ot go anywhere. What the hell is the matter with me. I am taking my Zoloft. I just don't get it. I just want it to end.
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Heather7476
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Heather
#108365 - 09/25/04 11:10 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Heather, honey, don't give up! Believe me, I have walked in your shoes and I know how it feels. I spent years trying to get pregnant, and couldn't---and then when I did, I had a miscarriage. (I finally had 2 babies, 13 months apart!)
And I've dealt with depression. From what you're saying, it sounds like you are experiencing depression. When you don't want to get out of bed or talk to anyone, that's depression, sweetie! That's how it makes you feel.
I know you said you're taking Zoloft, but maybe the dosage is not right---or maybe it hasn't kicked in yet. Was it prescribed by a psychiatrist or your regular doctor? Whoever it was, you need to call them and let them know how you are feeling. If you feel like you can't wait until Monday, call the answering service of the doctor and leave a message for him to call you. That's what they are there for. Do not make the mistake I did---I just kept falling deeper and deeper into this hole, and then I could not dig myself out. If you are feeling this bad, you need professional help to get your life back on track.
I wish I were there to give you a hug---and tell you how much you are valued and loved. And I know it will be hard for you playing Auntie with your nieces and nephews. Is it too late for you to back out of this? Is your husband there to help you with them? Maybe when they get there, they will brighten your day and make you feel better.
Hang in there! You know we are always here to listen to your concerns. Let us hear from you again.
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I know what it feels like to hope your pregnant and not be. I feel I should share a little bit about what I have gone through. Maybe it will help your decision. When I first started with my IBS symptoms it was after my last daughter was born, 4.5 years ago. I was so afraid of getting pregnant at the time that I went on the pill. It actually threw me into ppd and I felt worse. I was only on it for 6 months and since I was having headaches all the time my dr. told me to stop. I felt so much better not being on it. It didn't stop my IBS but I felt better and more like myself. I know you can try the pill and see how you feel for a few months but you might find that it won't help.
I would go through the tests if I were you. I actually was starting the tests the month I got pregnant. For some reason it took us 7 months to get pregnant and I believe it was God. There are so many things that happened during that month but I can tell you that I ended up getting my progesterone checked to see if I was ovulating but I was already pregnant. I found out I was pregnant 5 days later and it was such a wonderful shock.
Just to help you too. I became more and more depressed every month I found out I wasn't. I hated being around people and it was really hard since my sister and 3 of my really close friends were pregnant. I would see them a couple times a week and I just did not want to. I started feeling like maybe I didn't deserve to have another baby. I didn't feel well very often as it was, so how could I take care of my girls and a baby? I felt like the worst mom and wife. I still have some fears but I can't live with the fears. It might be a good thing you aren't pregnant this month with being sick and being on the antibiotics. Good luck with your decision.
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Heather, Hang in there. I've met so many women that thought well I've spent SO many years trying NOT to get pregnant that when I want to it will happen right away. The women that get pregnant on the first shot, are NOT the norm. I believe that God has a plan and that right now, maybe you aren't ready to deal with pregnancy. Being sick, being stressed and depressed all have dramatic affects on our bodies. I had a friend that couldn't be around me when I was pregnant because she was not and was trying so hard. She finally did get pregnant a year and a half later but while her and her husband were on vacation having a good time and relaxing. Have a good time trying, enjoy your husband and get yourself healthy. As for the black hair on your chin and chest...welcome to getting older!!! I don't know when mine appeared but I'm 31 and have been plucking those stray whiskers off my chin for a while. Just promise you won't tell my husband about the ones on my chest, I think he thinks those belong to him!!!
Big hugs,
Rena
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I also know what you are going through. I had a son unexpectantly and 2 years later tried again for a year and had trouble. I finally got pregnant. I went for my first sonogram a 10 wks and found out I had a missed miscarriage. I had never heard of that the baby's heart stopped at 8wks and my body just kept on with the pregnancy. For 3 months after that I had to take my temp. in the morning before I got out of bed. The docter read my temp. chart and found out my progesterone was off and told me I would not be able to have children with out medication. They put me on Clomid and the first month of trying we were blessed with a pregnancy. I went for my six week sonogram and found I was blessed with 2 babies. Your body works in weird ways. There is no way to not think about it. I know it just is in your mind all the time. You won't really know what is going on till you have your tests done so it is a matter of taking care of yourself for know. Just remember God gives us what we can handle. He must think you are a strong person!
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Thank You
Last night went ok. The kids had alot of fun. I am still feeling depressed. I am on 100mg of zoloft 6 weeks (2 1/2 weeks at 100mg). I just can't get this pain under control. It is realy driving crazy trying to figure this all out. Why am I not getting pregnant, why have suddleny devloped IBS and all this pain. I hate this. My life was going so well. I was realy happy and now it is gone I feel like. i don't know what to do. I went on the zoloft because it safe while pregnant and because a friend of mine with IBS swears by it. I hate this. I was feeling better on the Zoloft for awhile then it seemed to stop working. I don't get it.
Thanks for your words of encouragement and support.
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Heather7476
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Thank You all for your support and compassion. I am still having a hard time dealing with all this. The IBS, and the pregnancy thing. There are so many things to try to get the IBS under control, that it is overwhelming and most I can't do while trying to get pregnant. I was realy hoping the zoloft was going to stop the pain. I am pretty sure elivil S/P? would help the pain ( I had to take in the past for vulvadoynia S/P? it worked wonderfull for the pain) but you can not get preganant on it and the side effects kinda suck. I gained 50 pounds and slept alot. I just keep telling myself it will be ok, I will be ok. It is just hard to belive it right now. I am sorry guys it seems like all I do is whine on here. I used to be a realy happy person and fun to be around. I wish guys got to see more of that instead of this crying whimp.
Thank You all so much
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Heather7476
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Re: FEMBETH
#108589 - 09/27/04 10:37 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Hi, I was curious as to what was off about your progesterone?? I have been TTC since February. I had a miscarriage in May at 5.5 weeks. I got pregnant right away but also had a missed miscarriage, I should have been 8 weeks but baby died at 6.3 weeks. I had a D & C July 7th.
The drs have done testing and everything seems fine except for my preogesterone. The fetal tissue taken at the D & C showed a healthy baby. I discovered that at my first mc my progesterone was only 3! Thats not viable. It should be 15-20 the first couple of weeks. With the second pregnancy, they tested it when I was just abou 4-5 days late for my period and my progesterone level was 10.1. I started on progesterone vaginal suppositoires right away but the dr thinks it was too little too late.
So, for the last 2 months I have been using ovulation tests and starting progesterone right after ovulation. If I'm not pregnant 2 weeks later, I stop it and get my period. Well, I did a pregnancy test this morning and it was negative. I am heartbroken. I have read the chlomed can help raise progesterone levels by producing larger egg follicles. I am thinking of calling my dr and asking him to prescribe it for me. I am 34 and don't have any childern and desperately want one. Any advice you can give me on the chlomed was be appriciated!!
Thanks!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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michele
#108710 - 09/27/04 08:15 PM
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Hi michele! I wish I could give you more information on this. The docter never really gave me any numbers on my progesterone. When I became pregnant with my twins I had to get my progesterone checked early and they said wow it is really high there is no worry. I didn't know at that time i was having twins, so I assumed it was high because of having 2 babies. I also had a D@C. They told me everything was fine also and it was nothing I did. He automatically put me on chlomid. This was after 3 months of watching my temp. and finding the progesterone prob. There are people I know that could not even become pregnant and tried the chlomid and it didn't work for them. Your situation sounds real similar to mine and maybe the Cholmid would work for you like a little boost for you progesterone. I also tried the ovulation kit and could never figure out when I was ovulating and when I wasn't. My opinion it is worth a try. I am not sure if it depends on the OB or not. I used to live in Huntsville, Alabama and it seemed like they gave to everyone. If I am not mistaken they used to give it to older women that were trying to concieve. Not that your old because I am 30. We are still pretty young right? I am not sure on the spelling of Clomid, but I do know you chance of concieving multiples is higher. I wish you the best of luck! keep me posted and if you just want to talk or(write) I am here. Keep me posted. Beth
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Re: FEMBETH
#108794 - 09/28/04 09:25 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Thanks! I think I'm going to give it one more month than call the dr!! I seem to have ok luck with the opks (ovulation tests) I have managed to get pregnant twice using them but I haven't been able to carry my babies. I have only been trying 2 cycles since my D & C so I'll give it one moe try! Its just so hard to be patient!
I wouldn't mind twins at all! In fact, we have several sets of them throughout our family tree. I'm 34, so 2 kids with one pregnancy would be just peachy!! 
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