Getting depressed
#105539 - 09/13/04 11:08 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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Everything playing up recently - I'm mid Fibro flare with a grumbly tummy atm - and I was doing soooo good. The only thing is could be is stress.
Hubby and I are so broke atm. I'm not working and we just don't have enough money. Money just seems to run away from our bank account. We spent loads more than we meant to on honeymoon and blew all our savings on that and the wedding. We've got loads on the credit cards. EEEK!
Hubby is really stressed about it and is stressing at me. I'm looking for a part-time job atm, but I'm also supposed to be doing weather work for myself. I haven't done enough to push this and it isn't going very well. Si is really disappointed and p*ssed off with me about it. He doesn't understand how hard it is to get motivated when I'm all Fibroed out and I feel sick.
He just doesn't understand the Fibro full-stop. He could understand the IBS and if I have a really bad sudden Fibro attack, then he's wonderful, but he just doesn't get the aching all over everyday, feeling knackered all the time and having a head full of fog. It doesn't seem to penetrate his brain! 
He doesn't help much around the house, doesn't help much walking the dog (though he's taken him out now thank god), etc. So if I feel awful, then nothing gets done. 
I'm realy been thinking about this today because my new doctor was talking about seeing if I can come off my a-d's as the "stressful period" of moving house and getting married is over. I'm worse now than I ever was and that really isn't good. This is supposed to be a great time and Si and I are arguing so much.
Thanks for listening. You guys are my only support network atm. {{{HUGS}}}
Linz
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Hi Linz,
Sorry you are having a rough time. I definitely don't think you need to get off your anti-depressant now. You seem to still have a lot of stress in your life.
I understand what you are going through with the money situation. We used to be there, too. Thank goodness, that is all over now. I know how tough it can be and it does cause a lot of ruffled feathers in a marriage. Just hang in there and things will get better.
Have you thought about getting credit counseling to maybe consolidate your debts and see if that might help.
Hugs
Barbie
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OH LINZ!!!!!!!!! *hugs*
Husbands DO NOT GET IT! I have been waking up at 3am on these meds...the only time I really have energy, and I'll make my hubby lunch for work. He has NO IDEA how much this takes out of me. Men are just SO CLUELESS! HE-LLO! I may not have fibro...but I certainly am not normal with all these meds....or being sick for a year with sinusitis. But unless you've lived it...you don't know from it....
Talk to your doc about what you're tellin us. Right now doesn't sound like a time to go off a-d. But maybe your doc knows something we don't?
Can you write your hubby a letter? Write down exactly how you feel and what goes through your thoughts for a day from the timeyou wake up till you go to bed at night. then share it with him. Maybe this will give him a better taste of what you're going through. Ask him what you can do to help him out...and ask him to do somethings to help you out. Say you want to work as a team TOGETHER and that you can't do it without him (stroke his ego)  Let him know how important he is and how much it means to you he took the dog out....how that just made your life SO MUCH EASIER!
My husband has a hard time understanding what I go through. But I've been trying to exaplin it to him (I might try my own letter suggestion, LOL) and it does help when they understand where we're coming from. they just need a lot more direction and clear cut examples than a woman friend does. they just can't relate!
I'll keep you in my prayers that you find a job soon and that money finds it's way to your door! In the meatnime, make sure you take of yourself! That's most important! The woman is the center of the home and you're worth every cent, every minute, and everything!
Feel better Linz!
Love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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It always helps me to know that I'm not alone - one of the reasons I love these boards so much! I can totally relate to where you are coming from. I don't get any help around the house either, and it is so frustrating And money trouble is SOOOO stressful just by itself, not to mention if you combine it with health issues, relationship issues, etc, etc!! UGH! Just try to take each day at a time. I also should listen to my own advice 
Thoughts and prayers to you...
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Aww Linz!
#105566 - 09/13/04 12:28 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi,
**hugs** **hugs** ** hugs**
I am so sorry you are feeling so down. I know how stressful money stuff can be and London is so expensive - it sucks the money right out of you!
I don't know a lot about the Fibro, but I can't even imagine being able to function if I felt so poorly.. and then the IBS on top of that? Oy.. you poor thing. Have you sat down and tried to explain in really easy to understand terms about your fibro on a day-to-day thing with Si? Maybe he is just taking a while to wrap his mind about the IBS and the Fibro at the same time... I think men can be so self-involved about stuff like that. Like I can be sick as a dog and get no sympathy, but boyfriend can get a leg cramp and it's like the end of the bloody world! 
Stressing over it is probably the worst thing you can do, maybe try letting him know that so he knows he is just being counter productive by stressing you out.
What kind of part-time job are you looking for? In London?
I know the money thing is stressful now, but maybe try and focus on how happy you were around the wedding and what an awesome honeymoon you had.. at least the debt might seem a bit more easy to swallow. And you won't be in debt forever, it's just temporary glitch until you get back on your feet and the wedding gets paid off... at least you don't have to have another one!
*hugs again* Sorry again you are feeling low, you can always talk to us here or you have my eMail if you wanna chat!
Luv Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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BIG HUGS FOR LINZ.
HI honey I am so sorry your feeling down right now. It can be so hard when our husbands just don't get it. They try but I guess it must be hard for them to, i know mine gets frustrated that he can't fix me and dosen't realy understand what is happing to me.
I can relate to the Money thing we are pretty broke now to. Between the new kitten and my hubby B-Day party we are flat broke for the next two weeks. Things will get bettter. Tell your Doc your not ready to come off the A -Ds yet. If your not ready then stay on them. I hope you feel better soon.
Good Luck
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Heather7476
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IBS and, for me, PMS are in high gear! Stress is sending me to la-la land!! I was up all night with nightmares! BUT, God is faithful! Hang in there and do the best you can. We'll be pulling for you!! Isn't stress just the worst though?!
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God is Faithful!
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Hang in there, sweetie. Hugs to you. Remember, the first year of marriage is the hardest. I remember my hubby and I used to come home to complain to each other's mother about each other! It just takes time to understand and appreciate the other.
As for the money thing, think of it as a phase in time. You won't be like this forever, and it is only a short space in time. You may be like this again, as we've all been there. Either after graduation, or marriage, or whatever, we've all been there. So hang in there. Things WILL get better.
Hugs and love,
Han.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Thanks guys!
#105585 - 09/13/04 01:05 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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You guys are the best! Love you all! Had a little chat with hubbie about my Fibro and he realised he was stressing me out. Hopefully it will get better. Thanks for supporting me!!! 
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Ruchie
#105586 - 09/13/04 01:06 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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That is so funny - I've been making Si's lunch in the middle of the night too! Either I wake up myself or my dog wakes me up, so by morning I've made his lunch, done the washing-up and got his breakfast! Then I crash. Isn't it weird?
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