Self esteem very low today...
#261450 - 05/04/06 06:59 AM
|
|
|
|
|
cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
|
|
|
The post wedding pounds have caught up with me with avengance. Not the vanity pounds, I could cope with them. These ones are the "none of my clothes fit me" pounds and they are very unwelcome. The overindulgence on holiday last week must have been the final straw.
I was tried on clothes last night to figure out what to wear to the two parties that we have this weekend. A trousers that I bought before the wedding that I couldn't wear then as they were too loose on me have been deemed too tight to wear by my husband (he's right) So all that fits at the moment are my going out jeans which used to be soo loose, my fat jeans and my worksuits.
Feeling a bit desperate about it now, as I didn't take action when it was five pounds that were the issue and now it's more like 10.
Then I completely depressed myself by looking at photos of our wedding and last summer last night. (I had a fab figure)
The ones from the wedding in Poland last week were a real wake up call to me, I look bloated in some of them, not just tummy but all over.
I don't want to be one of those girls who looks at their wedding photo and thinks I will never be that size again. I also know tha the reason that I lost so much weight that I was sick summer 2004, but I hadn't gained it all back and felt great.
I know that I am a healthy weight now and I'm in danger of getting weight-obsessed at this stage.
I am trying to lose the weight now to fit back into everything but I feel like such a failure for letting it pile on so quickly. I'm eating well and exercising lots.
The question is- I am a healthy weight now, it's just that my clothes don't fit. Should I just give in to the bigger size and feel good in new clothes that fit, thereby acknowledging in my head that I will never hit my old weight again or will I stick with it and use the old clothes as motivation to slim? Answers on a postcard asap!
Thanks for reading my vent.
--------------------
S.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I'm sure your size is fine and you look great. However, I know exactly how you feel because I've never been more than a size 6 (until now!!) but that didn't mean I felt good when I gained weight. (I try to stay at a 4).
So I guess the real question is: have you gained weight because of poor eating and no exercise?? Or did you previously LOSE weight because you made yourself go above and beyond? I think if you can find a place where you eat healthy and exercise moderately, whatever size that is is great. Does this make sense? You shouldn't have to totally obsess in order to be the "right" size, because if you do---the size isn't right!! And if you are eating healthy and exercising, then you probably will feel better even if your size doesn't change.
And truth be told, wearing the right size of clothes does make a person look better. Who cares what the number is, it's how the clothes fit. I see skinny girls every day downtown wearing too small clothes and they look horrible. Then I see regular sized women wearing stylish and well fitting clothes and think they look great.
--------------------
 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh no Sinead!!!  I hate to hear you're sad.
If it makes you feel any better I have 4 pairs of capri summer pants that don't fit me just taunting me in the closet. And a former favorite pair of jeans too. I feel your pain.  And of ya, some of my t-shirts are not long enough to cpver some of my tummy so I have to skip wearing them.
I also can't stand seeing pics of myself these days. I also look bloated and just bigger everywhere.
YES -- Go buy some TEMPORARY bigger clothes for right now. That's the only solution. Then after you've lost the 10 lbs, put them in the back of your closet. Just don't buy super expensive things because you'll feel bad when you've lost the weight that you can't wear those items anymore.
You WILL lose the weight Sinead. Let's be honest, you've been so busy socilaizing and going to gatherings that it's like Christmas or something where you've been surrounded by lots of no-no's. Put an end to chocolate, limit you alcohol and keep at your gym workouts.
I know how frustrating it is. Trust me!!! It seems to take weeks and weeks to see workout results but don't give up sweetie!!!!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
p.s.
#261481 - 05/04/06 08:11 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
I also lost a lot of weight during my really bad ibs days. I was 103 lbs for months. I got a lot of compliments (as well as some nosey questions) but I know I'll NEVER be that skinny again. I was sick, sick, sick and not able to keep anything in me. Because of that period where I was model thin, it IS harder for me to go from a 103 size 4, to a 130 lb size 10-12.
We have to be realistic. I am aiming at a sixe 6 or 8. I'm sure you're not far from the size that you want to be either.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey Sinead,
I'm sorry you're feeling so low, that really sucks.
The fact is, if you are at a healthy weight and you are eating right for the most part and exercising, you are in much better shape than most people... I think it's just that thing where women are constantly unhappy with the way they look. I'm not sure that you should just "give in" and accept your current weight if it makes you that unhappy, but I think that if you don't accept that maybe you won't be at your skinniest all the time that it will just be a never ending, uphill battle for you.
You should take pride in the fact that you are healthy! If you can love the way you look, you'll look 10 times better. Guarunteed.
The other thing is with the clothes. I agree 100% with what epaginger said about clothes fitting right making all the difference. I know a woman who lost about 20 lbs and started buying all new, really expensive clothing that were TINY! She actually ended up looking like she had put on weight on her tummy and stuff 'cause everything was so tight and unforgiving! That "What Not to Wear" show says to dress the body you HAVE, not the body you wish you had.. You'll end up looking much more like that body you want because things will fit properly!
I know how you feel, I have put on nearly 40lbs since I was at my happy skinny weight and it does make me endlessly unhappy when I see myself in mirrors and things, but I can't let myself try and force into tiny jeans and t-shirts or I would look ridiculous! One of my hardest days was packing up clothes into boxes. I haven't thrown them away, but I've put them out of sight and bought things that actually fit me comfortably. I find that nothing makes me feel fatter than a pair of pants that are so tight they are digging into my stomach and reminding me all day of how small they are!
Good luck, keep up the exercising and proper eating and I'm sure if your body is supposed to be at a smaller weight, than it will go back down again. If not, though, try to concentrate on being happy and healthy with the body you have! I think it is dangerous to start slipping into a weight-obsession, going after a weight that you had when you were really sick.
**big hugs**
Steph
--------------------
~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Girls,
thank you all for posting and listening to me rant. I just let things get on top of me, a lot, I'm feeling a million times better now.
I was always an Irish 12 (American 10) but when I lost the weight I went to Irish 10 (American 8) I think I am naturally an Irish 11/US 9 but they don't make clothes that size
Ginger- I have gained weight due to overeating and lack of exercise. I have never really gone above and beyond, just when I was sick. When I was sick I hit about 128 which is much too light for me, I'm currently 140 and would be delighted and fit into my clothes at 135 which is where I had stabilised after being sick and before my big binge. That's where I want to get back to.
Tina- you correctly identified why I have piled on the pounds- socialising and chocolate. I am off chocolate since Sunday (I had a chocolate biscuit Monday) and so far I am three days fully de-chocolfied.
Stephie- I am willing to compromise and effectively "split the difference" between where I am now and where I was at my sickest/skinniest. It's hard, but like I said it really is only a few pounds and I need to pull myself together.
I agree with everyone about wearing clothes that fit. I went shopping after work and tried to buy a new top to wear tomorrow night but couldn't find anything that I really liked. I realised that I wore a cool top one night last week and felt great in it so I will wear it again on Friday and will look Saturday for something for Saturday.
If I even lose two or three pounds I will fit into the clothes I am lamenting, it's just the uncomfortably tight stage.
I did great again today food and exercise wise to compensate in advance for probably no exercise tomorrow and lots of drinks.
Anyways, I am feeling a lot better about myself now, between your posts and some lovely emails from my friends I am all cheered up. (I also bought a pair of shoes which could be part of it too!)
Thank you all so much, I will keep you update on "project feel good by my birthday" 
--------------------
S.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ok, good to hear you sounding more upbeat! 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I sneaked onto the weighing scales this morning even though I know that I should only weigh once a week- I was 138, which is 3lbs less than Monday afternoon and 2lbs less than Tuesday. Leads me to believe that a lot of the heavier weighs were due to water retention but it is keeping me motivated as I can also say "I was good and it paid off". Another week will hopefully get me to 136, and if I could be 135 for my birthday I would be ecstatic (and fit soo much better into my clothes)
Thanks for all the support and motivation, I just really hit a black spot yesterday.
--------------------
S.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Very nice!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
